Don’t Let Your Gratitude Get Hijacked

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Last week I mentioned that I was a bit surprised that scientists had done so much research on the benefits of gratitude because science tends to have an over-reliance on the tangible world. But it’s hard to ignore that there are so many intangibles (like gratitude) which make a tangible difference in people’s lives. 

We get ourselves into trouble if we focus exclusively on the tangible or intangible. We also get ourselves into trouble if we don’t use all of the resources God has given us. 

The Bible tells us that we have been created in the image of God, and that one of the things that separates us from the other creatures in the world is our soul (Genesis 2:7). Our soul is compromised of our mind, our will, and our emotions. 

(Check out all of the Scriptures I mention in this post by clicking here.) 

We cannot allow any one of these to lay dormant or even considered less valuable than the others, nor we can allow any one of these to bully the others. 

  • If my emotions dominate (especially emotions like fear or anger) I can give into fight-or-flight—Psalm 106:7 
  • If my mind dominates, I can become dark and confused—Romans 1:21 NLT 
  • If my willpower dominates, I tend to be very selfish—Isaiah 14:13-14 

When my emotions flare up, when my mind is dark, or when I feel selfish, I need to remember to engage the other two parts of my God-breathed soul. This is where gratitude comes into play. 

I love reading the Psalms when I’m battling the negative emotions that seem to rush in during trying times. The psalmists were so honest about what they were feeling. Check out a couple of examples in Psalm 7:17 and 9:1-2 where we see David engaging his mind and his will to make the choice to be grateful to God despite his circumstances. 

In the New Testament, we see a similar response from Paul and Silas when they are falsely imprisoned in Philippi (see Acts 16:22-26). Despite their cruel circumstances, they chose to life thankful worship to God. Luke write that the other inmates were listening, and so was the jailer and his family, who ended up accepting Jesus as their Savior. 

I’ve got three important words for you when dark times threaten to hijack your gratefulness:

TALK TO YOURSELF

We see another psalmist doing this in Psalm 42:1-6. He asks his soul why it is so downcast, and then he says, “I chose to remember God in all His goodness and I chose to praise Him!” These words are repeated again in Psalm 42:11 and 43:5, which tells me that giving thanks to God is not a one-and-done thing, but something that needs to be continually repeated. 

You can get some conversation starters for your self-talk in two simple ways:

  1. Write down your gratitude 
  2. Talk about your gratitude 

Keep a gratitude journal: Write something down at the end of each and every day. Write it down. Re-read it regularly. Tell others about it. And then be ready for others to ask you about Jesus—just like the Philippian jailer—when they notice how thankful you are! 

Use your mind to talk back to your fears and worries, and then engage your willpower. Don’t let your gratitude get hijacked by the circumstances around you, but allow your thankfulness to help you reframe your circumstances into God’s plan. 

Check out the other messages in our Be Thankful series by clicking here. 

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The Craig And Greg Show: Control Your Reaction

Listen to the audio-only version of this podcast by clicking on the player below, or scroll down to watch the video.

As a leader, you have the great responsibility, and privilege, of setting the tone for your team. One of the biggest ways you set the tone for your organization is how you react to stressful situations. Remaining calm through adversity signals to your team that they can remain calm as well, and provides amazing stability to your organization. In this episode, Greg and I discuss this topic and give helpful tips that will enable you to better control your reactions.

  • [0:30] When the going gets tough, the tough get going. But what do leaders do during tough times?
  • [2:51] When a leader panics, the team cannot be calm.
  • [3:24] Greg has a great analogy for the world of nature that can help leaders.
  • [5:08] What happens if a leader’s anger erupts?
  • [7:53] Our teammates watch our responses closely in tense times and in our reflection times after the intense activity.
  • [10:15] Leaders have to learn how to control the emotional extremes.
  • [12:35] Insecure leaders tend to react a little too intensely, and their teams will learn to follow their example.
  • [13:28] Both pre-planning and reflection will help leaders avoid an over-the-top reaction.
  • [18:04] Reactions that are too quick usually create additional problems. Thoughtful responses are always healthier.
  • [20:22] Macro and micro situations require different responses from leaders, so leaders need to learn to quickly assess the situation.
  • [23:00] I suggest the most important thing for leaders to work on to avoid overreactions.
  • [25:16] Greg shares a quote with his own helpful modification.

Check out this episode and subscribe on YouTube so you can watch all of the upcoming episodes. You can also listen to our podcast on Spotify and Apple.

Flatten The Rollercoaster

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

I’m not a fan of rollercoasters, but I know a lot of people who really like them. Some even travel all over the world to experience unique rollercoasters. The anticipation as the cars climb slowly up the big hill, knowing that there’s no stopping this thing now! Then the rush of emotions, a deep breath and a laugh at the end (usually laughing at our friends’ responses while on the ride), and then we just walk away. The moment of anticipation leading up to the big drop was usually longer and more intense than the ride itself. 

Not only do people travel all over to find rollercoasters, some people seem to have their emotions perpetually on rollercoasters. 

One of the telltale signs of someone with an immature mental health is the way every situation gets blown out of proportion before anything even happens. Then as an event unfolds, their exaggerations continue: the molehills are mountains, every valley is the valley of the shadow of death, the night is a nightmare, the “crisis” is lasting forever, no one has ever gone through what they’re going through, and the list goes on. 

To break out of this habit requires us developing emotional capacity. John Maxwell describes it like this: “Emotional capacity is the ability to handle adversity, failure, criticism, change, and pressure in a positive way.” Just as athletes have to develop lung capacity or muscle capacity, developing emotional capacity takes time, patience, and diligence. 

Increased emotional capacity is not escaping from our problems or even learning coping skill. Escapism never allows us to confront the things that are keeping our emotional capacity immature. On the other hand, maturing emotional capacity is learning to pause to get perspective so that we can avoid turning every mountain into a molehill, and every challenge into a do-or-die battle.  

Mentally healthy people don’t try to escape, but they learn how to de-escalate by getting a new perspective. Or to use the language of our first mental health strategy, they get off their old, well-worn paths. 

Let me illustrate this by looking at two emotions which seem to be the most rollercoaster-ish. 

(1) The first rollercoaster emotion is anger 

Out-of-proportion anger can either burn everyone around us when we explode, or it can eat away inside us if we hold it in. Neither of these are healthy emotional responses. Jesus got angry at the religious crowd that was keeping people away from God’s kingdom, but He didn’t ride the rollercoaster that led to a sinful expression of His anger. 

God asked Jonah a very helpful question: Have you any right to be angry? (Jonah 4:4). When we feel the Holy Spirit asking us this question, our defiant first response is almost always, “Yes! I didn’t do anything wrong! It was all him!” Solomon would counsel us to cross-examine that thought (Proverbs 18:17). 

Sometimes God will bring someone else across our path to help us pause to get perspective—to flatten the rollercoaster. For instance, God used Abigail to help David (see the story in 1 Samuel 25). However the Holy Spirit cross-examines us, we need to learn to truly listen. James told us: 

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (James 1:19-20)

(2) The second rollercoaster emotion is fear 

Fear usually causes us to fight or flight. Those are the natural responses, but the supernatural response is to pause to evaluate. I love the reminder that F.E.A.R. means false evidence appearing real. 

As with anger, our first pause to get perspective on this potential rollercoaster that can plunge us into a deep, dark valley should be to cross-examine the false evidence of fear. 

When the group of ladies came to the tomb of Jesus on the Sunday following His crucifixion, they were already battered and bruised in their emotions. Finding an empty tomb brought even more fear in their hearts. But there is a keyword in this account that will help us: 

In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men [angels] said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; He has risen! Remember how He told you, while He was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’” Then they remembered His words. (Luke 24:5-8)

The Holy Spirit can help us remember the truth in God’s Word to counteract the fear-inducing false evidence (2 Timothy 1:7; John 14:26), but we must pause to listen to this evidence before this rollercoaster emotion picks up speed. 

The bottom line: Don’t try to escape your strong emotions. Pause. Cross-examine the evidence with the help of God’s Word, the Holy Spirit, and a friend to get a healthy perspective. This can help you flatten the rollercoaster before your emotions run away with you. 

If you’ve missed any of the other mental health strategies we’ve already covered in this series, you can find the full list by clicking here. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

10 Quotes From C.S. Lewis

Any day is a good day for some C.S. Lewis quotes! 

“To be ignorant and simple now—not to be able to meet enemies on their own ground—would be to throw down our weapons, and to betray our uneducated brethren who have, under God, no defense but us against the intellectual attacks of the heathen.” —C.S. Lewis 

“Good philosophy must exist, if for no other reason, because bad philosophy needs to be answered.” —C.S. Lewis 

“Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did.” —C.S. Lewis 

“If you do him a good turn, not to please God and obey the law of charity, but to show him what a fine forgiving chap you are, and to put him in your debt, and then sit down to wait for his ‘gratitude,’ you will probably be disappointed.” —C.S. Lewis 

“Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An apparently trivial indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attack otherwise impossible.” —C.S. Lewis 

“For many of us the great obstacle to charity lies not in our luxurious living or desire for more money, but in our fear—fear of insecurity.” —C.S. Lewis 

“The battle is between faith and reason on one side and emotion and imagination on the other.” —C.S. Lewis 

“Faith, is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods.” —C.S. Lewis 

“And as a matter of fact, if you examined a hundred people who had lost their faith in Christianity, I wonder how many of them would turn out to have been reasoned out of it by honest argument? Do not most people simply drift away?” —C.S. Lewis 

“A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means—the only complete realist.” —C.S. Lewis

10 Quotes From “Our Portrait In Genesis”

The Complete Works Of Oswald ChambersOswald Chambers has given us another valuable resource in Our Portrait In Genesis, as he walks through the first book of the Bible with us. You can read my full book review here. As usual, there are just way too many good quotes to share all at once, so here is the first batch of quotes from this book.

“It is not my faith laying hold of the Word, but the life in the Word laying hold on me.”

“We transgress a law of God and expect an experience akin to death, but exactly the opposite happens, we feel enlarged, more broad-minded, more tolerant of evil, but we are more powerless; knowledge which comes from eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, instead of instigating to action, paralyzes.”

“No man can murder his brother who has not first murdered God in himself.” 

“It is ingrained in our thinking that competition and rivalry are essential to the carrying on of civilized life; that is why Jesus Christ’s statements seem wild and ridiculous. They are the statements either of a man or of God Incarnate. To carry out the Sermon on the Mount is frankly impossible to anyone but a fool, and who is the fool? The man who has been born again and who dares to carry out in his individual life the teaching of Jesus. And what will happen? The inevitable result, not the success he would otherwise have. A hard saying, but true.”

“Grace is the overflowing immeasurable favor of God; God cannot withhold, the only thing that keeps back His grace and favor is our sin and perversity.” 

“Faith un-tried has no character value for the individual. … Spiritual character is only made by standing loyal to God’s character no matter what distress the trial of faith brings.”

“We must be careful never to compromise over any promise of God when by reason of human limitation there has been only a partial fulfillment. Such a compromise is easily detected whenever you feel, ‘Oh well, I suppose that is all God meant.’ Every word God has spoken will be absolutely fulfilled; to climb down from that confidence is to be disloyal to God.”

“There is always the danger of becoming a fanatical adherent to what God has said instead of adhering to God who said it.”

“The only way to wait for the Second Coming is to watch that you do what you should do so that when He comes is a matter of indifference.” 

“It is a question of faith in God, the rarest thing, we have faith only in our feelings. I don’t believe God unless He will give me something in my hand whereby I may know I have it, then I say, ‘Now I believe.’ There is no faith there.”

Links & Quotes

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“There is a burden of care in getting riches; fear in keeping them; temptation in using them; guilt in abusing them; sorrow in losing them; and a burden of account at last to be given concerning them.” —Matthew Henry

“Don’t imagine I doubt for a moment that what God sends us must be sent in love and will all be for the best if we have grace to use it so. My mind doesn’t waver on this point; my feelings sometimes do. That’s why it does me good to hear what I believe repeated in your voice….” ―C.S. Lewis

“Our comfort comes not from the powerlessness of our enemies, but from our Father’s sovereign rule over their power.” —John Piper

Have you seen all the videos of one of Obamacare’s architects, Jonathan Gruber? Here is the story behind the man, Rich Weinstein, who unearthed all of these clips and exposed the outright lies and hypocrisy. And this video compilation is just a sampling of the lies—

Links & Quotes

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Open Door USA reports that Christian persecution around the world has never been worse than it is now. We must pray!!

Here is a cool story about how God used some praying Christians to save a young girl from sex trafficking.

J. Warner Wallace says, “When [Richard] Dawkins and [Sam] Harris say we, as Christians, believe in something for which there is no supporting evidence, they simply betray their ignorance about the nature of evidence and the way in which detectives and prosecutors build cases.” Check out his post on the evidence that supports the Christian worldview.

Frank Viola has an encouraging word. He says, “If God has called you to a specific work, there is a time in which that work will find its greatest fulfillment and its widest impact.” Please read Your Time Has Not Yet Come.

“Angels might have wept as they saw the folly of men who sought anything except the Lord, Who alone can make a house His temple; Who alone can make a ministry to be a ministration of mercy; without Whose presence the most solemn congregation is but as the herding of men in the market, and the most melodious songs but as the shoutings of those who make merry at a marriage. Without the Lord, our solemn days, our new moons, and our appointed feasts, are an abomination such as His soul hates.” —Charles Spurgeon

“Remember always that religious emotion is only a servant.” ―C.S. Lewis

I love this! Like an experience from the Book of Acts is Pastor Saeed Abedini in his Iranian prison.

Craig Gross writes this about Fifty Shades Of Grey, “This is not a love story. This is not even an erotic story. This is a story of broken people continuing a cycle of dysfunction in their lives rather than dealing with their issues.” Read the rest of his post.

Links & Quotes

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Some good reading from today…

“The book of Romans in a sentence: Because you were condemned (1:1 – 3:20) and God justified you (3:21-5:21), empowered you to be distinct (6-8), and explained His plan to keep His promises to Abraham (9-11), it is right for you to submit your life for Divine inspection (12:1-2), and live the life of a real believer (12:2-16:27).” —Dr. Randall D. Smith

[INFOGRAPHIC] I love the Bible study tools from The Overview Bible Project! Check out this one on the main characters in Genesis.

A great story about a marathon runner who intentionally loses the race.

The co-founder of The Weather Channel blasts the “global warming” crowd.

“It is too bad that anything so obvious should need to be said at this late date, but from all appearances, we Christians have about forgotten the lesson so carefully taught by Paul: God’s servants are not to be competitors, but co-workers.” —A.W. Tozer

“The truth is that evil is not a real thing at all, like God. It is simply good spoiled. That is why I say there can be good without evil, but no evil without good. You know what the biologists mean by a parasite—an animal that lives on another animal. Evil is a parasite. It is there only because good is there for it to spoil and confuse.” —C.S. Lewis

“Love, in the Christian sense, does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people.” —C.S. Lewis

“In our time we have all kinds of status symbols in the Christian church—membership, attendance, pastoral staff, missionary offerings. But there is only one status symbol that should make a Christian congregation genuinely glad. That is to know that our Lord is present, walking in our midst!” —A.W. Tozer

Links & Quotes

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Some good reading from today…

“The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.” —Mother Teresa

A challenging word from John Stonestreet: The Pornification Of The Church.

“Here is no need to expound fuller what the Christian Scripture teaches on this point of feelings. It subjects the whole mind to God’s governance and assistance, and all the passions unto it, in such manner that they are all made to serve the increase of justice.” —Augustine

“…For we are not under law in Christ’s church, but under grace, and grace will prompt you to do more than law might suggest….” —Charles Spurgeon

A great story about Pittsburg Pirate star Andrew McCutchen and his parents.

Ryan Anderson has 7 reasons why the current homosexual “marriage” debate is nothing like the debate on interracial marriage.

Apparently we cannot win: the change from CFCs to HFCs in our spray cans is repairing the ozone but raising the earth’s temperature. Oh, wait a minute: this isn’t settled science, but merely someone’s “model” based on “what the data suggests.” Sounds a lot like faith to me!

11 Quotes From “Alone”

AloneAlone should be read and discussed by parents and teens to help find the right balance of technology usage in our lives. You can read my book review by clicking here. Below are some of the quotes that stood out to me from Alone.

“Maybe God created Adam to be needy. … Maybe Adam’s relationship with God was not built in fullness but contained a hole God created inside of humanity so we might recognize the importance of each other. It was (and is) brilliant.”

“Friendship has to be accompanied by experience. … The illusion of friendship is making everyone in the world think we’re perfect. … Instead of time spent experiencing life together, we’ve turned our world into a self-shaped, self-regulated, self-indulgent, me-centered life.”

“We are now a culture that wants to deal with relationships on our time. … Relationships are work. They’re inconvenient. They’re exciting and spontaneous. You can’t apply some formula for relationships and expect to walk out of the room with a load of friends.” 

“When you realize what role you have to play here on the planet, the most beautiful sense of belonging begins to awaken inside your soul. The world begins making sense. No matter what you’re doing, if God has gifted you in it, you’re going to have a high level of functioning.”

“Don’t get me wrong: Hard work and dedication are important factors as we help people understand significance, but in the end, our short lives are shaped by the relationships we make along our own journey. And if those relationships are filled with people who believe in us, the lonely factor fades away and we are recognized for the abilities we do have rather than the ones we don’t. Paul said it clearly: ‘I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands’ (2 Timothy 1:6). What can you do to fan someone else’s flame? Who in your life fans yours?”

“Maybe it’s because we’ve replaced the idea of risk and adventure with the idea of wealth and comfort. Loneliness begins to creep into a man’s life when adventure and risk are taken out of the equation, when men have to replace their God-given desires with something ‘more responsible.’ … Men need to sense that what they are doing in the world is courageous. They need to feel the sense of responsibility and freedom. They need to have opportunities to express their manhood.”

“There is no perfect girlfriend. There is no perfect employee. There is no perfect friend. There is no perfect body type or student or athlete. There’s no such thing as a perfect woman who finds the perfect role for her perfect situation. Those who continue to assign a high value to that mythical person who has it all together are driving themselves mad with the idea that they can achieve her. It’s from this feeling of failure, of never measuring up, that the loneliness sets in.” 

“The first step in understanding true joy is defining what joy actually is. It’s a feeling. It’s an emotion. It’s a state of mind. It’s the ability to know that the desires of your heart are being fulfilled. It’s not happiness. It’s not the constant state of euphoria. It’s not everything lining up perfectly. … In modern times, joy happens when we interact with each other. When we see a friend’s smile giving us validation that he or she is interested in being with us: joy. When we hear the words ‘How are you?’ in an honest tone, with honest body language behind it: joy. When we have an opportunity to rest in the fact that someone else wants us to be the person God created us to be: ultimate joy.”

“The quickest way to initiate friendship is to give people freedom to be themselves.”

“‘Oh, you did sooo well in your game,’ she said, walking past, rolling her eyes. Versus … ‘I can’t believe you! You’re the most awesome basketball player I’ve ever seen,’ she said, putting her arm around her friend in celebration. See the difference? Authentic versus agenda-driven. Caring for someone versus using someone. When a tribe is built … When experience glues relationships together … When you can rest in the joy that certain relationship gives you … Loneliness starts to fade away. But you can’t do that on Facebook.”

“If we can take the value of the social networking scene and combine it with real-time relationships, we might see this trend of loneliness take a positive direction. What would life look like if we could really experience life together? Community is important. To be able to contribute to the life of the community is even more fulfilling.”