relationships | Craig T. Owens

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Freed From A Self-Made Prison

December 4, 2019 — Craig T. Owens

“Sickly thoughts will express themselves through a sickly body. Thoughts of fear have been known to kill a man as speedily as a bullet, and they are continually killing thousands of people just as surely though less rapidly. The people who live in fear of disease are the people who get it. Anxiety quickly demoralizes the whole body, and lays it open to the entrance of disease; while impure thoughts, even if not physically indulged, will soon shatter the nervous system.

“Strong, pure, and happy thoughts build up the body in vigor and grace. The body is a delicate and plastic instrument, which responds readily to the thoughts by which it is impressed, and habits of thought will produce their own effects, good or bad, upon it. …

“To live continually in thoughts of ill will, cynicism, suspicion, and envy, is to be confined in a self-made prison-hole. But to think well of all, to be cheerful with all, to patiently learn to find the good in all—such unselfish thoughts are the very portals of heaven; and to dwell day by day in thoughts of peace toward every creature will bring abounding peace to their possessor.” —James Allen, As A Man Thinketh (emphasis mine)

You can check out other quotes from As A Man Thinketh by clicking here.

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: anxiety, freedom, James Allen, metacognition, peace, quote, relationships, thought life, thoughts. 1 Comment »

Don’t __________ One Another

November 13, 2019 — Craig T. Owens

Check out James 4:11, “Brethren…

…do not speak evil of one another” (NKJV)
…do not accuse or malign one another” (AMP)
…do not bad-mouth one another” (MSG)
…do not slander one another” (GW)
…do not criticize one another” (NLT)
…do not defame one another” (Greek definition for katalaleo)

Why not? James gives us three good reasons:

All humans are made in God’s image. So to defame another person is to defame God.
All humans are a part of my family. “One another” (Greek allelon) and “brethren” (Greek adelphos) includes me too!
It only set me up to be judged in the same way—“What right do you have to judge or criticize others?” (TLB) … “Who are you that you presume to pass judgment on your neighbor?” (AMP) … “Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?” (MSG).

The bottom line—

If I don’t want someone to _ me, I shouldn’t _ them!

(see Luke 6:31 and James 2:8)

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: Apostle James, family, Image Deo, James, Jesus, Luke, relationships, sanctity of human life. Leave a Comment »

12 Quotes From “Love Changes Everything”

October 16, 2019 — Craig T. Owens

Micah Berteau dismantles all of the false definitions of “love” the culture has concocted. Love Changes Everything is a great book! Check out my full book review by clicking here.

“Do not let your perception of reality shape God’s voice in your life. Rather, let God’s voice shape your reality.”

“It is difficult to know God’s values when we keep telling Him ours.”

“The world will always define love in a way that makes us thirst for a version that only benefits self.”

“If the culture is going to be obsessed with the thought of love, we must become possessed by the truth of it.”

“The dictionary defines a mirage as ‘something illusory, without substance or reality.’ Too often we find ourselves chasing an image mirage that has no substance or reality. We try to wear other people’s opinions, only to realize that’s the wrong measurement for our lives. Stop running after what you think you see and start running after what you know. Don’t chase an image mirage. Chase the Image Maker, Jesus Christ.”

“Real love pushes you away from a cycle of sin. Authentic love encourages you not to sit on your calling. Perfect love casts out all fear because the love of God will cause you to leave all that is comfortable.”

“God’s love does not equal God’s approval. … Love is not an approval to continue living a sinful life. Love is the power that possesses you to change everything. … Love is not a stamp of approval but a fire that consumes.”

“Hosea was not becoming the culture, he was bringing love to a dark place. Jesus was a friend of sinners. How can we win a world that we are distanced from? We do not embrace immorality to reach people; that is a ridiculous idea. However, we are called to love all people and to be a light in the darkness. It is time to get out of the pews and show Jesus in the streets.”

“Feelings are fleeting things that we buy into. Emotions then begin to disguise themselves as truth. When we start listening to our emotions, we even weigh them against the voice of God. It then becomes difficult to discern which voice is leading you—your own or God’s?”

“Do not let what’s happened in your past stop you from receiving God in your present.”

“Loneliness is not the result of being alone but of not letting God fill that missing void. … No other person can fill the emptiness that plagues our souls. Don’t put that pressure on another human being. Fulfillment is the job of the Almighty; submission is our job.”

“Love does not magically change things in your life. It does not do the work for you. Love is an altering agent that must be received and applied. Love has to be in charge. Once this love is in you, then it can do work within you. Once it is working within you, it must come out of you. You are not loved just so you can walk around being loved. You are loved so you can be love. The places where love does not reach go unchanged.”

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: authenticity, emotions, fulfilment, God's love, God's voice, loneliness, Micah Berteau, quotes, relationships, selflessness, tough love, truth. Leave a Comment »

Friendship Is…

October 9, 2019 — Craig T. Owens

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one!’” —C.S. Lewis

“Friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine.” —Thomas Jefferson

“Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” —Aristotle

“Friendship is not a way of accomplishing something but a way of being with another in which we become more authentically ourselves.” —Eugene Peterson

“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.” —Emerson

“If the first law of friendship is that it has to be cultivated, the second law is to be indulgent when the first has been neglected.” —Voltaire

“Friendship is agreement with kindliness and affection about things human and divine.” —Cicero

“The light of friendship is seen plainest when all around is dark.” —Grace Noll Crowell

“For spiritual friendship, which is what we mean by true friendship, should be desired not with a view to any worldly good, nor for any reason extrinsic to itself, but from the worthiness of its own nature, and the feeling of the human heart, so that it offers no advantage or reward other than itself. … For in this true friendship one makes progress by bettering oneself, and one bears fruit by experiencing the enjoyment of this increasing degree of perfection. And so spiritual friendship is born among good people through the similarity of their characters, goals, and habits in life.” —Aelred of Rievaulx

“The quickest way to initiate friendship is to give people freedom to be themselves.” —Andy Braner

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: Aristotle, C.S. Lewis, encouragement, Eugene Peterson, freedom, friendship, invaluable, love, Marcus Cicero, quotes, Ralph Waldo Emerson, relationships, Thomas Jefferson, Voltaire. Leave a Comment »

7 More Quotes From “Start With The Heart”

September 18, 2019 — Craig T. Owens

Dr. Kathy Koch has given parents—and anyone else who works with children—a marvelously helpful resource in her latest book Start With The Heart. Be sure to check out my full book review by clicking here.

“God created you and your children with five core, basic needs that must be met. These needs are interrelated. The health of one influences the others:

Security—who can I trust?
Identity—who am I?
Belonging—who wants me?
Purpose—why am I alive?
Competence—what do I do well?”

“Children who know their purpose will often choose to look for peers with similar goals and interests. They will want to hang out with people who affirm them and their purpose and be willing to end relationships that are not joyful and purposeful.”

“When you parent so your children believe three things, their hearts will be impacted and they will be motivated to succeed. This translates into less stress and anxiety and more peace. … Children who believe these things don’t want to be average. They are willing to work for more. … Children’s character will be more Christlike. They’ll want to be more others-centered than self-centered. They’ll be compassionate, brave and able to stand up for themselves and others.

I have value. Children who do know they have value are often motivated intrinsically, from the inside. They internally recognize what is good for them and respond accordingly.
Learning matters. When children believe they have worth, they are more likely to value learning. … Children who value learning will exhibit many positive character traits, including teachability. This will be true even when they are not convinced that your requests or planned activities are relevant. They’ll pay attention anyway because they know they matter and learning matters. These beliefs strengthen children’s purpose and give rise to competence.
My future can be bright.”

“Which is better: ‘Be on time!’ or ‘Don’t be late!’? Do you hear the difference? Which one is positive? ‘Be on time’ communicates ‘I believe you’re capable of this.’ It’s more hopeful. It’s about what you want your children to do. ‘Don’t be late’ reminds them of how they’ve frustrated you.”

“Carol Dweck…has consistently found that children praised for using effort tackled more challenging tasks than those praised just for ability or for the quality of their work.”

“Sometimes have children tell you what they think they did before you offer your opinions. If they are relatively accurate, affirm them specifically. When they’re not, have the conversation.”

“Working to provide feedback that can be described with the following attributes will serve you and your children well—specific, believable, helpful, and thoughtful.”

You can also check out the first set of quotes I shared from Start With The Heart by clicking here.

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: character, children, Christlike, communication, encouragement, identity, Kathy Koch, motivation, parenting, parents, purpose, quotes, relationships, security, teaching, value. 1 Comment »

Poetry Saturday—Not Understood

August 10, 2019 — Craig T. Owens

Not understood. We move along asunder;

Our paths grow wider as the seasons creep

Along the years; we marvel and we wonder

Why life is life? and then we fall asleep,

Not understood.

Not understood, we gather false impressions

And hug them closer as the years go by;

Till virtues often seem to us transgressions;

And thus men rise and fall, and live and die

Not understood.

Not understood! Poor souls with stunted vision

Oft measure giants with their narrow gauge;

The poisoned shafts of falsehood and derision

Are oft impelled ‘gainst those who mould the age,

Not understood.

Not understood! The secret springs of action

Which lie beneath the surface and the show,

Are disregarded; with self-satisfaction

We judge our neighbours, and they often go

Not understood.

Not understood! How trifles often change us!

The thoughtless sentence and the fancied slight

Destroy long years of friendship, and estrange us,

And on our souls there falls a freezing blight;

Not understood.

Not understood. How many breasts are aching

For lack of sympathy! Ah! day by day,

How many cheerless, lonely hearts are breaking!

How many noble spirits pass away

Not understood.

Oh, God! that men would see a little clearer,

Or judge less harshly where they cannot see;

O God! that men would draw a littler nearer

To one another, they’d be nearer Thee,

And understood. —Thomas Bracken

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: empathy, God's presence, isolation, misunderstanding, poem, poetry, relationships, Thomas Bracken, understanding. Leave a Comment »

Book Reviews From 2018

January 1, 2019 — Craig T. Owens

I love reading, and I love sharing my love of good books with others! Here is a list of the books I read and reviewed in 2018. Click on a title to be taken to that review.