Break Free From Porn—5 Quotes That Will Help You

The Porn CircuitThe Porn Circuit is a great book to make you aware of the dangers of pornography. You can read my full book review of this free downloadable book here, and check out the first set of quotes I shared by clicking here.

Here are some additional quotes specifically to help you break free from the hold pornography has on your life.

Your #1 strategy … LEARN TO HATE PORN!

Hate what it does to you, to your relationships, and to those involved in sex trafficking because of the porn industry.

#2 … Create some positive activities you can do when you’re tempted to look at porn.

“The prefrontal cortex is the decision-making logical part of the brain, and each time that a person resists temptation and each time a positive habit is reinforced, the prefrontal cortex gets stronger. That means a person’s willpower grows and the cues and cravings for porn use grow weaker.”

“This approach (of introducing positive habits) makes plastic sense because it grows a new brain circuit that gives pleasure and triggers dopamine release which, as we have seen, rewards the new activity and consolidates and grows new neural connections. This new circuit can eventually compete with the older one, and according to use it or lose it, the pathological networks will weaken. With this treatment we don’t so much ‘break’ bad habits as replace bad behaviors with better ones.” —Dr. Norman Doidge

“Whatever rewarding activity is pursued, it needs to be an activity that is reoccurring. Building new rewarding neural pathways requires time and ongoing repetition:

  1. Neurons that fire together wire together. Repeating a pleasurable activity instead of the compulsive activity, such as porn use, forms a new circuit that is gradually reinforced instead of the compulsion.
  2. Neurons that fire apart wire apart. When a person refuses to act on a compulsion, like porn and masturbation, it weakens the link between the activity and the idea that it will provide relief.”

#3 … Start using the 3-second rule.

“When watching TV, walking through the mall, or driving past billboards, temptation can strike when least expected. Many therapists recommend using the 3-Second Rule, which involves three steps:

  1. Alert: Realize that you see something inappropriate. It may only take a split-second to recognize a tempting situation.
  2. Avert: Close your eyes or look away. These first two steps should be instantaneous.
  3. Affirm: Give yourself a mental high-five to congratulate the effort. Say to yourself, ‘I saw that by mistake, and I quickly looked away. I’ve been clean for (xx number of days) and I’m going to stay that way.’”

3-Second Rule

#4 … Don’t forget to watch out for H.A.L.T. times.

“Physical care is vital to vigilance. HALT is the acronym often used by therapists to remind people of when they can be most vulnerable it stands for: hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Simply going to bed on a regular schedule to get a good night’s rest can help one’s brain be more focused on positive habits and more alert to fight temptations. Not only eating but also eating well can improve mood and feelings of well-being. Regular exercise keeps the mind more focused, the body feeling great, and improve sleep.”

Thursdays With Oswald—Your Thought Life DOES Matter

Oswald ChambersThis is a periodic series with things I’m reading and pondering from Oswald Chambers. You can read the original seed thought here, or type “Thursdays With Oswald” in the search box to read more entries.

Your Thought Life DOES Matter

“Beware of saying, ‘Oh well, it doesn’t matter much what I think about in secret’; it does, for the opportunity will come when what you think about in secret will find expression and spurt out in an act. The Bible always speaks of sin as it appears in its final analysis. Jesus does not say, ‘You must not covet because it will lead to stealing’; He says, ‘You must not covet because it is stealing.’ He does not say, ‘You must not be angry with your brother because it will lead to murder’; He says, ‘You must not be angry with your brother because it is murder.’”

From Our Portrait In Genesis

This is why the Apostle Paul tells us to take all of our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). What you are thinking about IS determining who you will become in the future. Capture those negative, unbiblical thoughts and replace them with the truth found in God’s Word.

10 Quotes On Emotional Health From “Brain Savvy-Leaders”

Brain-Savvy LeadersOur emotions start in our brain. Charles Stone wrote a very helpful book called Brain-Savvy Leaders, in which he covers a lot of ground inside our heads. One aspect is our emotional health. I encourage you to read my review of this book by clicking here. Below are some quotes Charles shared on our emotional health.

“Gratefulness is actually good for brain and body health.” 

“When the emotionality of leaders takes over, they compromise their ability to lead well in these ways:

  • impulse can overwhelm intention
  • imagination gets pushed aside by instinct
  • defensiveness stifles healthy positions
  • automatic behavior shuts down reflective thought
  • emotionality gets in the way of intentionality.”

“Fear, conscious and unconscious, is prompted by the amygdala. The brain naturally focuses on problems and the negative. It overestimates threats and underestimates opportunities. In fact, two-thirds of the brain cells in our amygdala are primed for negativity and fear. Negative networks in our brain outweigh positive ones by five to one. And negative emotions are more easily consolidated (made more permanent) into our long-term memory than positive emotions.”

“Fear can even be subconscious, especially if we’re surrounded by bad news, critical people, or if our self-talk is constantly negative.”

“Neuroscientists have found that stuffing, denying, or a ignoring our emotions reinforces them, affects short-term memory, increases blood pressure, and robs our brain’s prefrontal cortex of the mental energy it needs.”

“Although it may seem counterintuitive, tagging your emotions, through labeling and naming them by putting feelings into words, actually recruits our impulse break and dampens activity in our panic alarm.”

“Anger is the wind that blows out the lamp of the mind.” —Chinese Proverb

“Since our brains process and remember bad events more thoroughly than good ones…it’s vital that we develop the discipline of being aware of our thoughts. … Thinking about our thinking is called ‘metacognition.’”

“Emotions play a significant role in decision-making and influence how well your team will embrace change. Just presenting facts without engaging positive and hopeful emotions will seldom move your team forward. The brain can only handle so much change at once. Trying to create too much change too quickly can engage the brain’s fear center and cause an away response, thus hindering change.”

“In one research study in Israel, Dr. Tal Shafir looked at the impact of movement on the brain of twenty-two young male and female participants. They looked at video clips of actors performing various emotions that corresponded to sad, fearful, happy, or neutral. Happy movements included raising their arms in the air, skipping, and jumping. Sad movements included closing their chests and slumping forward. The participants then either mimicked the movements or imagined themselves doing them. The emotions they reported mirrored the corresponding movements. So, if you need a mood boost, keep a good posture or throw your arms up and out into the air.”

Previously I shared some other quotes from this book on how we learn, and on how to keep our brain healthy. Please check these out too.

What To Do When You’re Burning Mad

Angry“Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” ―Laurence J. Peter

Of course we all get angry. If we let it out we might burn up the people around us, but if we hold it in we might blow up inside. What are we to do when we’re burning mad?

Nehemiah was in the midst of a massive building program, with enemies of Israel threatening to attack at any moment, and then people start coming to him with reports of the ungodly lifestyle among some of Israel’s leading families.

To say Nehemiah was hot is an understatement (Nehemiah 5:6). The Hebrew word means boiling mad, scorching hot! We would do very well to notice how he handled this situation.

First, “I pondered these accusations in my mind…” (v. 7a). He didn’t fire off the first thoughts that came to mind.

Second, “…then I accused the nobles and officials. I told them, ‘You are loan-sharking your own countrymen’” (v. 7b). He made a very specific point without elaborating on all the gory details.

Third, he gave them an opportunity to respond (v. 8).

Fourth, he called them all together and said, “What you’re doing isn’t right. You are not following God’s ways, and you are giving God a bad reputation to those outside our community” (v. 9).

Fifth, he used his personal lifestyle as an example (v. 10).

Finally, he asked them to change their behavior (v. 11).

Pretty simple:

  • Wait
  • Think
  • Make the accusation simple
  • Give them a chance to respond
  • Hold them to a high standard
  • Live out the standard yourself
  • Ask for a change of behavior

The next time you’re burning mad, try this and see what happens.

The Wit Of Will Rogers

Will RogersThere are few who have rivaled the wit and homespun wisdom of Will Rogers!

“Even if you are on the right track you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” —Will Rogers

“You can’t tell what a man is like or what he is thinking when you are looking at him. You must get around behind him and see what he has been looking at.” —Will Rogers

“People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.” —Will Rogers

“Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.” —Will Rogers

“It doesn’t take much to see something is wrong, but it does take some eyesight to see what will put it right again.” —Will Rogers

“Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.” —Will Rogers

“There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.” —Will Rogers

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.” —Will Rogers

“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.” —Will Rogers

“There are three kinds of men: ones who learn by reading, few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to grab the electric fence and find out for themselves.” —Will Rogers

“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.” —Will Rogers

“If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.” —Will Rogers

“After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: when you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” —Will Rogers

8 Quotes From “Life Cartography”

Life CartographyCharles Porter wrote a thought-provoking book for young people just starting out on life’s journey. You can read my full book review by clicking here. Below are some of the quotes I highlighted as I read.

“Everyone has baggage. Emotional hurts. Dysfunctions. Strange and broken ideas about the world. Some are small. Some are massive. The people who develop beautiful lives, that I’ve seen at least, learn early how to unload that baggage somewhere and not pick it back up. The emotional catharsis of unloading is easy. The mental, physical and spiritual disciplines of not picking it back up—that’s the hard part.”

“Good intentions don’t make up for bad thinking. You can’t be anything you want to be. But there is something, some unique place, where you can be you, and where your life will have meaning and purpose. The key is discovering what and where that is. Those who discover that early multiply their life satisfaction exponentially.”

“Emotions are real but not necessarily true. … I’ve ruined very few relationships when I was calm. But when I’ve been angry, I’ve done serious damage. … The flip side is that relationships come with an ebb and flow of feelings. Denying emotions is just as dangerous. Suppressed anger becomes depression. Feelings of rejection lead to private humiliation. Telling someone not to feel is like telling spring not to come.”

“We all tell our stories from our own perspectives. We see the world through our lenses. An editor can help us bring some balance, some clarity, and sometimes help us tell those stories in a way that others understand. The tough part is that editors usually aren’t popular. They challenge us. They forced us to rewrite, rethink, and reconsider. They generally don’t fall for the lies we sometimes tell ourselves.”

“When I start with the idea that everyone is interesting, questions become conversations.”

“Developing character is the most important, life-long process you’ll ever engage in. … Character is the product of a life sent through the fire of circumstances.”

“Sometimes, standing on the sidelines is an endorsement. By not taking a stand, you’re allowing things you wouldn’t endorse to take root and flourish.” 

“Have you ever met people who won’t take ‘no’ for an answer? I’ll bet they get things done. I’ll bet they succeed. And I’ll bet they leave a wake of relational destruction in their pads. ‘I never take “no” for an answer.’ That, my friends, doesn’t make you consistent. It makes you a bully.”

Links & Quotes

link quote

Some good reading from today…

[PHOTOS] Today is the birthday of the United States Marine Corps. Here are some great pictures of our Marines in action.

“Your hope for the future is not in what you did yesterday, but improving today so that you can meet the future head-on.” —John Maxwell

Did you know that 90% of babies diagnosed with Down syndrome are aborted?! Here are 9 people with Down syndrome who live highly successful lives.

“‘Circumstances over which I have no control’ is a perfectly true phrase, but it must never be made to mean that we cannot control ourselves in those circumstances.” —Oswald Chambers

“The whole Bible and all past history unite to teach that battles are always won before the armies take the field. The critical moment for any army is not the day it engages the foe in actual combat; it is the day before or the month before or the year before. … Preparation is vital. Let this be noted by everyone. We can seek God today and get prepared to meet temptation tomorrow; but if we meet the enemy without first having met God, the outcome is not conjectural; the issue is already decided. We can only lose.” —A.W. Tozer

“We must open our Bibles every morning with this prayer—‘Give us this day our daily bread.’” —Charles Spurgeon

Good advice on how to respond to people who are antagonistic toward your Christian faith.

Hmm, Pope Francis demotes (again!) a U.S. cardinal who is doctrinally conservative.

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