3 Vital Attributes For Healthy Leaders

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When it comes to leaders being hurt by those under their care, it is not a matter of if but when. How leaders respond to these attacks reveal three key attributes that must be addressed. 

On the Ailbe Podcast, T.M. Moore and Rusty Rabon asked me what attributes pastors needed to develop to respond to sheep bites in a God-honoring way. I believe the three most important attributes are: 

  1. Humility 
  2. Vulnerability 
  3. Accountability 

Humility is the ability of a leader to be open to the possibility that the sheep bite may have been in reaction to something the shepherd did or failed to do. To go a little deeper on this point, check out Pay Attention to the Bites. 

Vulnerability is used in the context of bearing our souls to a true friend. T.M. Moore has written extensively about “soul friends,” and we discussed that in more detail in a previous appearance on the Ailbe Podcast which you can check out here. [soul friends] 

Accountability is really a direct result of our humility with ourselves and our vulnerability with a soul friend. As the Bible tells us over and over again, we need to remain in relationship with fellow saints that can encourage us, empower us, and sometimes correct us. Check out the blog post and video Accountability to Saints. 

If you desire to grow as a godly shepherd leader, please check out my book Shepherd Leadership. 

If you want to learn more about how to recover from sheep bites and how to handle future attacks in a biblical, Christ-like way, please pick up a copy of When Sheep Bite.  

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Let Your Silence Do The Talking

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…When He was reviled, did not revile (1 Peter 2:23 NKJV). 

In the Greek language, this phrase is loidoreo antiloidoreo ou antiloidoreo.  

Loidoreo means to insult, reproach, and revile. 

Antiloidoreo means not to do those things. 

Reviling others—especially those who have already reviled us—is a natural response. But not reviling or responding to revilers with reviling of our own is a supernatural response. 

Anyone can speak or act unkindly, and it’s sort of expected when someone else has reviled you first. But to bless someone that has revealed first or to remain silent as Jesus did, requires Spirit-empowered self-control (see 1 Corinthians 4:12 and 1 Peter 3:9).

Our silence in these situations speaks volumes! 

Was Jesus really silent? Peter says Jesus “entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.” I think Jesus had an internal dialogue with His Father, something like, “Father, You hear the hurtful reviling they are heaping on Me. I trust You to handle this so that I don’t have to.” 

The only words Jesus spoke aloud to those who were reviling Him were still words spoken to His Father: “Father, forgive them” (Luke 23:34). 

Jesus responded with supernatural antiloidoreo, which spoke louder than their natural loidoreo! 

So this has me thinking: When loidoreo is hurled at me, will I respond naturally with more loidoreo? Or will I allow the Holy Spirit to help me respond supernaturally with antiloidoreo? 

My book When Sheep Bite is all about seeking to respond supernaturally when we have been treated unfairly and unkindly. This book is especially for pastors, but I also shared several posts and videos for all Christians in a series called When Sheep Bite Sheep. 

You may also want to check out these related blog posts:

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The Grind To Excellence

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When I would be struggling with stick-to-it-iveness, my Mom would say to me, “Anything worth having is worth working for.” From a young age, she was encouraging me to grind through the tough work to get to the payoff on the other side. 

This is a great leadership principle, not only for leaders but for the teams they lead as well. Check out this clip where Greg and I talk about the grind necessary to achieve greatness. 

You can watch the full Craig and Greg Show episode where we discuss how the leadership builder of resilience can keep at bay the leadership killer of resignation. 

My book When Sheep Bite will help pastors who are trying to grind through the painful experience of biting sheep. This book has helped so many pastors see the factors that led up to the bite, the biblical responses to bites, and the resilience we can discover to help these shepherd leaders stay faithful to God’s calling. Check it out! 

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The Heavy Responsibility Of Pastoring

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Even Charles Spurgeon—a man called “the prince of preachers”—recognized the heavy responsibility of God’s call on someone to serve as a pastor. 

Here are the two Spurgeon quotes I shared in the video—

“Oh, what a solemn thing it is to be a preacher of the everlasting gospel! It is an office so high that an angel might covet it, but one that is so responsible that even an angel might tremble to undertake it.” 

“Pray for us who preach, not merely to a few, but to many of our fellow-creatures, that we may be the means, in the hand of God, of blessing to our hearers.” 

The best resource a pastor can tap into is prayer, and I would suggest that the first person a pastor should pray for is himself. This is where my book Amen Indeed can be a huge blessing. This is a book that helps pastors turn the Scriptures into prayer. 

Pick up your copy of Amen Indeed here. 

If you are a pastor who has been wounded in your ministry work, you may also want to check out my book When Sheep Bite. 

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Links & Quotes

Here’s a quote from John Piper that got me thinking: “God loves His people. He loves for them to get good food, rich food. He knows how to put His shepherds in the vice of affliction and squeeze out of us authentic, prayer-soaked, desperation-flavored insight—the unsearchable riches of Christ for the joy of His people.” Pastor, God wants to use you to shepherd the flock He’s placed under your care. So trust Him to give you what you need. And check out my book When Sheep Bite to help you along through this journey.

I have a lot of new video content on my YouTube channel every week. Please check it out and subscribe so you don’t miss anything.

“Do more than go to church; be the church. Find a place to serve in the promises of your pastor and fight for that vision like it was your own. Do more than give what’s left; give what’s right. Do more than show up as a consumer; show up as a partner, knowing the day will come when you will need partnership to see your dream come to pass. If your promise is concerning business, then be the best employee of the people for whom you work. If your promise will need generous people involved to make it happen, then be generous in the promises of others. If your promise is about your family, be a blessing to the families of those who are around you. Make their dreams come to pass and you will plant the seeds that will, in time, become the fruit of your God-given why.” —Jim Wiegand, in Why is Greater Than What 

“You have noticed, I expect, that Christ Himself sometimes describes the Christian way as very hard, sometimes as very easy. He says, ‘Take up your Cross’—in other words, it is like going to be beaten to death in a concentration camp. Next minute he says, ‘My yoke is easy and my burden light.’ He means both.” —C.S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity 

T.M. Moore is beginning a new series of posts on the importance of the spiritual life for the Christian. He writes, “We may thus define the spiritual life in terms of Christ exalted as our focus, Christ indwelling as our sustaining power, Christ at work in and through us as the outcome of our discipleship, and Christ returning as the hope which sustains us through the tests we encounter every day. True spiritual life, in other words, is all about Jesus Christ.”

“The truths of eternity have an infinite power. They are often powerless because we do not give them time to reveal themselves. Taking time to be alone with God is the only remedy. … The Word that we get from the mouth of God brings the power to know it and to do it. Let us learn this lesson: personal fellowship with God alone in secret can make the Word alive and powerful.” —Andrew Murray 

Dr. Thaddeus Williams unpacks what Charles Darwin meant when he wrote to a friend, “The horrid doubt always arises whether the convictions of man’s mind, which has been developed from the mind of the lower animals, are of any value or at all trustworthy.” Check out Dr. Williams’ post, which he opens with, “If our minds came from a capital “M” Mind—God—gifted to us as truth-knowing mechanisms, we have a reason to reason. But if our minds came from a non-mind, a literally dumb process of random mutations and natural selection, then our minds are not fundamentally truth-knowing mechanisms, but mere survival mechanisms.”

“Our first birth brought us into sin and sorrow, but our second birth brings us into purity and joy. We were born to die; now are we born never to die, ‘begotten again’ unto a life that shall remain in us for evermore, a life which shall even penetrate these mortal bodies, and make them immortal, ‘by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.’” —Charles Spurgeon, commenting on 1 Peter 1:3-4 

Unsafe Shepherds

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Gentleness is both a safe word and an unsafe word, which makes gentleness such an indispensable trait for shepherd leaders. Check out this clip from my time on the Leading from Alignment podcast. 

Here is an excerpt from the chapter that Jim Wiegand was referencing—

     I mention this fruit of gentleness specifically because I think it is one of the least understood and one of the most powerful virtues in a shepherd’s life. If you go to a modern dictionary for a definition of gentleness, you might read words like kind, moderate, calm, and tame. If you dig a little deeper into the synonyms, you will discover words like meek and mild. 

     The Greek philosophers thought and taught extensively about the virtues. For them a virtue was a healthy tension or a balanced response between two opposite extremes. Many philosophers referred to a virtue as a “golden mean” between those extremes. For instance, the virtue of generosity might be described as the golden mean between thriftiness and lavishness; courage could be the golden mean between rashness and timidity; and purity the golden mean between prudishness and immorality. 

     The gentleman or gentlewoman is not a pushover. They are strong. They know what they believe in and are passionate for the truth. They know when to fight and how to fight. So gentleness becomes the golden mean between a pacifist and a fighter. Gentleness is a lion with powerful muscles, razor-sharp claws, and a jaw strong enough to snap a bone who knows how to velvet its paws and use its nearly invincible strength as a means for good. —from Chapter 3: “A Shepherd’s Gentleness” 

Please check pick up a copy of When Sheep Bite today. 

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A Difficult Leadership Decision

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One of the most difficult—but rewarding—decisions a leader will ever make is to honestly confront themselves on their part in a relationship or organizational problem. 

Check out the full conversation Greg and I had on the Craig and Greg Show episode called Growth from the Hard Road. And you may also want to check out a whole series of messages I shared in the series Thankful in the Night. 

Get more information on my book When Sheep Bite by clicking here. 

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Helping Others Follow Jesus

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Remember your leaders… (Hebrews 13:7). 

As the writer of Hebrews closes his epistle, he speaks to the saints about how they should interact with their leaders (Hebrews 13:7-21). He concludes this section by saying their confidence in their leaders brings joy to their leaders. 

But I would like to flip the script on this to describe how leaders are supposed to live in a way that makes it a joy for people to follow their leadership. 

So, leaders, let’s make sure we are…

…speaking the Word of God, not any kinds of “strange teachings” (vv. 7, 9). 

…living a life worthy of imitation. This requires a consistent and steadfast example of Christ-like living (vv. 7-8). 

…strengthening people with grace, not man-made strategies (v. 9). 

…not giving ourselves special privileges just because we are in leadership positions (v. 10). 

…not concerned with public perceptions while we stand for Jesus (vv. 11-13). 

…keeping in mind that our reward is in Heaven, so we don’t look for human accolades here but in “the city that is to come” (v. 14). 

…setting the example in hospitality (v. 16). 

…leading with the integrity and gentleness that makes it easy for saints to have confidence in our leadership (v. 17a). 

…serving with sober joy (v. 17b). 

…praying for others to be empowered “to live honorably” and with a clear conscience (vv. 18-19). 

A mark of a godly leader is one who makes it desirable for others to follow Jesus. 

Jesus is “that great Shepherd of the sheep” (v. 20). We are merely under-shepherds of small flocks, but we have been appointed to this pasture by Him. 

He will equip us “with everything good for doing His will” (v. 21a), which means we don’t have to attempt to equip ourselves. Instead, we can operate in His empowerment. 

He will also work in us “what is pleasing to Him” (v. 21b). We are not trying to please people, but we should want to please the One to Whom we must give an account. 

All “glory for ever and ever” goes to Him! We are not serving as His under-shepherds so that we can be recognized, but so people can draw closer to Him. We shepherd people to make Jesus known. 

If we will keep these things in mind, we are free to serve. Leaders who are secure—who are humbly confident in their calling—are leaders who are easy to follow. 

Let’s pray: Holy Spirit, help me to lead in a way that allows others to see Jesus because of my lifestyle. I want to be an example that helps others draw ever closer to Him. Amen! 

This is part 88 in my series on godly leadership. You can check out all of my posts in this series by clicking here. And you may also want to check out my books for church leaders—Shepherd Leadership and When Sheep Bite. 

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Links & Quotes

Sometimes leaders will have to part ways with a staff member. The way this is done can either bring resolution or it can create lingering problems. Check out this clip from our conversation on combatting toxicity in the workplace.

I have a lot of new video content on my YouTube channel every week. Please check it out and subscribe so you don’t miss anything.

I thoroughly enjoyed this commentary from John Piper on the power of silence in the face of critics and revilers. Pastor John noted, “Both the teachings and the sufferings of Jesus are meant to teach us how to respond when we are treated badly, unjustly. We are to glorify God by finding in Him the reward that satisfies our heart deeply enough that we don’t need to return evil for evil.” I really leaned into this supernatural response to critics in my book When Sheep Bite.

“To preach Christianity meant primarily to preach the Resurrection. … The Resurrection is the central theme in every Christian sermon reported in the Acts. The Resurrection, and its consequences, were the ‘gospel’ or good news which the Christians brought: what we call the ‘gospels’, the narratives of Our Lord’s life and death, were composed later for the benefit of those who had already accepted the gospel. They were in no sense the basis of Christianity: they were written for those already converted. The miracle of the Resurrection, and the theology of that miracle, comes first: the biography comes later as a comment on it.” —C.S. Lewis, Miracles 

David Mathis says, “The fight against sin and the fight for holiness and joy is a soul-and-body fight. We are soul-and-body creatures. God made us like that.” He then shares the importance in physical, bodily exercise as a strong ally in our fight against sin. 

“We all know that exercise makes us feel better, but most of us have no idea why. We assume it’s because we’re burning off stress or reducing muscle tension or boosting endorphins, and we leave it at that. But the real reason we feel so good when we get our blood pumping is that it makes the brain function at its best, and in my view, this benefit of physical activity is far more important—and fascinating—than what it does for the body. Building muscles and conditioning the heart and lungs are essentially side effects. I often tell my patients that the point of exercise is to build and condition the brain.” —Dr. John Ratey 

“When it comes to leadership, attitude becomes even more important. You need to see possibilities when others don’t, encourage people when they are feeling defeated, and demonstrate commitment when others want to quit.” —John Maxwell 

J. Warner Wallace not only makes the case that original accounts in the Gospels haven’t been changed over time, but he also shows how the corroborating sources affirm the original account—

Faithful Ministry

After all, who is Apollos? Who is Paul? We are only God’s servants through whom you believed the Good News. Each of us did the work the Lord gave us. (1 Corinthians 3:5 NLT) 

The most well-known evangelist is only God’s servant, and the most obscure pastor in the smallest of communities is only God’s servant. 

It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. (1 Corinthians 3:7 NLT) 

God‘s rewards are not for how big I did my ministry, but for how faithfully I did my ministry. 

The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work. (1 Corinthians 3:8 NLT) 

The subtitle of my book Shepherd Leadership is “The metrics that really matter.” The whole third section of my book When Sheep Bite is about remaining faithful to the field where God has called you. 

Your faithfulness to God’s call is what matters. God sees you, God will sustain you, and God will reward your faithfulness! 

Check out this related video—Good and faithful ministry 

And you may be interested in these blog posts: