The Benefits Of The Right Kind Of Pastoral Stress

I was very honored to be asked to share these thoughts on KarlVaters.com. I was able to interview Karl about his latest book De-Sizing The Church.

(Photo by Official Presidio of Monterey | Flickr)

Jesus was “made like His brothers in every way” (Hebrews 2:17), which means He was not immune to the ravages of stress, yet He never let that stress overwhelm Him.

No one wants more stress. But attempting to avoid all stress can carry negative results that we seldom take into account.

In this guest article, Craig T. Owens (whom I interviewed in The Church Lobby, Episodes 43 and 82 ) writes about how managing the right type of stress (called eustress) can be a benefit, especially in positions of responsibility, like pastoring.

— Karl Vaters

As a pastor, I’m sure your life is practically stress-free. I mean, what do we have to do with our days except commune with God in our quiet study time, and then descend from the mountain to share the words God has given us? Then we can bask in the approval of our congregations as we watch them seamlessly integrate our sermons into their daily lives.

What’s that you’re saying? It’s not like that for you?

Anyone who has been a pastor for any length of time knows how demanding a job it is to be a shepherd of the flock God has placed under our care. And then frequently our shepherding work becomes even more challenging when we have to attend to the needs of obstinate sheep, or heal from the bites of angry sheep.

At times, we may dream about a more stress-free pasture.

But we actually do ourselves, our flock, and the world around us a huge disservice if we are striving for a stress-free life.

The Power To Persevere

First, I don’t think that is even possible. Adam and Eve in the perfection of the Garden of Eden faced a stressful decision. And Jesus, the Perfect Man, was constantly dealing with the stressors that pushed in on Him.

But more importantly, stress is vital for our healthy growth. Recent studies have shown that moderate levels of stress keep our brain sharp. In fact, the study went on to state that a brain that is striving for zero stress (if that’s even possible) begins to become less adept at problem solving. In our attempts to totally eliminate stress, we are actually squeezing out our ability to adapt, overcome, and soar when we face future problems.

In this case, I am talking about the healthy stress that doctors call eustress. Whenever we face a challenge, our body releases a hormone called cortisol that prepares our mind and body for action. In other words, God designed a way for us to be successful in stressful times.

Eustress is the push against the forces that would ultimately pull down our physical health, our relationships, our mental health, and a host of other things if we simply opt to “go with the flow.”

I read this in a recent article from an organization called Fight The New Drug:

“In a world that often sells ways to avoid stress, it’s crucial to remember that stress can be healthy in moderation. Stress and anxiety can trigger neural and chemical processes in your body designed to help you respond to challenges. Stress researcher Daniela Kaufer explains that ‘some amounts of stress are good to push you to the level of optimal alertness for behavioral and cognitive performance.’ Her research on stress in rats has even demonstrated that intermittent stressful events can create new brain cells in the rats that actually improve their future mental performances.”

I love how modern-day psychology validates what the Bible has already told us! The Bible makes it clear that persevering through the stressors that come against us can make us stronger, healthier, and better equipped for the next challenge. We are also fortified to help others through their times of stress (James 1:2-4; Romans 5:3-5; 2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

(Check out all of the Scriptures in this article by clicking here.)

The Greek word in the Bible translated “persevere” means keeping focused on the goal despite the struggles that it takes to get there. Jesus used this same Greek word at the conclusion of His parable of the sower: “The seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the Word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop,” a crop that Jesus said was a hundred times more than what was sown (see Luke 8:5–15).

The Holy Spirit will push us further than we think we can go to develop the spiritual muscles and endurance we need to shepherd the sheep under our care during their trying times. He knows that persevering produces a huge crop.

Easy Roads Teach Few Lessons

I love riding my bike on the White Pine Trail by my house. My long rides have a really fun stretch where I am flying downhill! But as fun and stress-free as that part is, I’m not really building anything of lasting value. However, when I am coming back uphill and I want to quit because my legs are burning and I can hardly breathe, that becomes a valuable struggle.

I cannot build endurance by any other way than to persevere, to push myself just a little bit more each time. When I want to quit, I pedal just a few more feet. Gradually, the uphill becomes less daunting.

A friend gave me a t-shirt that I like to wear on my rides. When I put the shirt on, the blue-lettered message says, “Do It!” but as I struggle uphill and the sweat begins to pour off my body and drench my shirt, a new message emerges: “Don’t Quit!”

I have learned that easy roads teach very few valuable lessons. But persevering through the stressors not only strengthens me, but it builds an empathy for others that I would have otherwise missed.

The poet Epictetus noted this about the mighty Hercules:

“What would have become of Hercules do you think if there had been no lion, hydra, stag or boar—and no savage criminals to rid the world of? What would he have done in the absence of such challenges?

“Obviously he would have just rolled over in bed and gone back to sleep. So by snoring his life away in luxury and comfort he never would have developed into the mighty Hercules.

“And even if he had, what good would it have done him? What would have been the use of those arms, that physique, and that noble soul, without crises or conditions to stir into him action?”

—Epictetus, The Discourses

So the next time you are thinking about avoiding something that causes stress in your life, why don’t you reframe that thought. Instead, think about how you can become stronger, healthier, and more empathetic toward others because you are committed to successfully navigating that stressful situation.

Don’t ask God to get you out of that stressful situation, but ask Him to help you get something out of that stressful situation.

Eustress, Not Distress

Please notice that I have been talking about the good stress (eustress), but there is also a dangerous stress which doctors call distress. If we are trying to overcome a challenge in our own strength alone, instead of relying on God’s supernatural help, or if we are allowing stress to keep us from our healthy habits, eustress can disintegrate into distress.

The stress hormone cortisol is naturally flushed from the body in two ways: physical exercise and proper sleep. Isn’t it interesting that when we are experiencing higher than usual amounts of stress that two of the areas that seem to disappear from our lives are time for exercise and nights with solid, uninterrupted sleep?

When we allow eustress to become distress, everything suffers. Our physical health is compromised, we have an increasingly difficult time coming up with creative solutions, our patience with difficult people is strained, and we find ourselves fighting irritability.

How Jesus Did It

Earlier I mentioned the stressors that Jesus faced, but notice that we never see Him responding inappropriately, acting in an unhealthy way, or “stressed out” by the needs of the sheep around Him. Keep in mind that Jesus was “made like His brothers in every way” (Hebrews 2:17), which means He was not immune to the ravages of stress, yet He never let that stress overwhelm Him. He never even allowed eustress to cross the line into distress.

How did Jesus keep stress in balance? I see so many healthy habits in His life. For instance, I see not only the regular habit of prayer to start His day (Mark 1:35), but I see Him withdrawing for a time of prayer or even a nap when He completed a stressful time of ministry (Luke 5:16).

Jesus encouraged His disciples in this as well. The disciples were excited to tell Jesus about their latest ministry but the activity around Jesus was so hectic that they couldn’t even find time to get a bite to eat, let alone take a deep breath to recover from their ministry. “Come with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest,” Jesus told them. And then “they went away by themselves to a solitary place” (Mark 6:30-32).

To keep yourself from becoming distressed, be deliberate about maintaining your healthy habits during your times of eustress. Eat healthy, get proper exercise, get a good night’s sleep, spend extra time in your Bible study and prayer time, and schedule time with healthy friends. All of these things will help you leverage all of the benefits of eustress, making you a stronger, more consistent and empathetic leader.

How Are Godly Leaders To Use Their Authority?

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Have you ever heard a parent say to their child, “Because I’m the parent and I say so”? 

Have you ever heard a pastor say that to a sheep in his flock? 

There is a certain authority that comes with God’s calling on a shepherd leader, but how exactly are pastors to use that authority? Or asked another way, how are shepherds to use their shepherding staff? 

When Paul is writing to his friend Titus some instructions for pastors, he uses a Greek word for “authority” three times. 

First, in regard to his own calling he says, “Paul, a bond-servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ, for the faith of those chosen of God and the knowledge of the truth which is according to godliness … but at the proper time revealed His word in the proclamation with which I was entrusted according to the commandment of God our Savior” (Titus 1:1, 3 NASB). 

The phrase “chosen of God” in verse 1 literally means the same thing he says in verse 3: “according to the commandment of God.” 

The third usage of this word is when Paul tells Titus that he has this same authority: “These things speak and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. No one is to disregard you” (Titus 2:15). 

Interestingly, Paul uses this Greek word a total of seven times in his letters, with three of those times being in this short letter to Titus. 

Paul also uses this word three times in his two letters to the saints in Corinth (1 Corinthians 7:6, 25; 2 Corinthians 8:8). But in all of three of these instances, Paul says, “I choose not to use my God-given authority on this, but I’m asking you to make a good choice.” 

The only other time Paul uses this word in a letter is found in his closing remarks to the saints in Rome, with the emphasis there on the authority of the Word of God which he preaches—

     Now to Him who is able to establish you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery which has been kept secret for long ages past, but now has been disclosed, and through the Scriptures of the prophets, in accordance with the commandment of the eternal God, has been made known to all the nations, leading to obedience of faith. (Romans 16:25-26 NASB) 

Questioning of our pastoral authority is one of the sheep bites I discuss in my book When Sheep Bite. Here is one passage from that chapter—

     When our conversation with criticizing sheep hasn’t gone well, and when those unhealthy sheep begin to gossip and then slander, it’s inevitable that they will eventually began to question your authority as a shepherd. Perhaps they think you’re too young and naive, or too old and out of touch. They may question your motives, or the vision you’ve imparted for the church, or your ability to follow through on what you have already shared. Whatever the case, these biting sheep seem to be implying that they know better than you do how this pasture should be run. 

     During times like these, it is tempting to want to “prove” that we are qualified, that we do know what we’re doing, and that we can indeed successfully pursue the vision we’ve articulated for them. Once again, it’s natural to want to say, “I’ll show you just how qualified I am!” 

     Before we respond, we need to recognize the source of our authority. There is a certain authority that comes with a position or an office. For instance, a parent can say to a child who is questioning a rule, “Because I’m the parent and I say this is how it is going to be.” We see similar positional authority for CEOs, police officers, school teachers, and pastors. But like the little boy we met at the beginning of this book, people may say to a positional leader, “I may be obeying you on the outside, but on the inside I’m questioning everything you’re saying!” 

     Far greater than positional authority is moral authority. This is authority that comes not merely from a title or position, but from who conferred that title or position on the leader. If God has called us and appointed us to this pasture, that is all the authority we need.

Let me wrap up with four takeaways for shepherd leaders:

  1. A godly leader’s authority is imparted by God. Keep in mind these three powerful words, “God chose me.” That means you have nothing to prove. 
  2. As a godly leader, you are “entrusted” with your authority and that means you have to give an account to God for its application. Don’t let the pain of the moment tempt you to react in a shortsighted way. 
  3. There are times to use God’s authority to hold the line; specifically when addressing issues which are biblical or unbiblical (Titus 1:9-14, 3:1-8). 
  4. There are also times for us to sheath this authority; like when addressing a non-biblical issue (Titus 3:9). 

Being a godly shepherd leader is not for the faint of heart! But God has called YOU which means He has also equipped YOU to respond appropriately in each situation. 

My book When Sheep Bite is packed with biblical examples, personal experiences, practical applications, and prayers for each of these biting problems you will face. I hope you will pick up a copy today.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Links & Quotes

Shepherd leaders cannot allow past hurts to negatively impact their current situations. Don’t give in to the natural fight-or-flight response, but ask God to help you response with supernatural faithfulness. I unpack this idea in greater depth in my book When Sheep Bite.

I have lots of new content every week, which you can check out on my YouTube channel.

In responding to an evolutionary biologist’s claims that the material world is all that matters, John Stonestreet invokes the timely wisdom of G.K. Chesterton and C.S. Lewis. One of my favorite quotes from Lewis appears in this post: “A theory which explained everything else in the whole universe but which made it impossible to believe that our thinking was valid, would be utterly out of court… It would be an argument which proved that no argument was sound—a proof that there are no such things as proofs—which is nonsense.”

“Good leaders love leading the people they lead more than they love leading people.” —John Maxwell 

Gerrit Scott Dawson writes about how the Bible helps us see ourselves more clearly. “The truth-telling mirror of Scripture exposes and composes us. Imagine a mirror that would make you as appealing as you could hope to be. Imagine a well of clear water that not only reflected but washed you clean of dirt and blemishes. When we read Scripture with open hearts and in reliance on the Spirit, that’s what happens.”

“Twice in the book of Hebrews we are urged to ‘consider Jesus.’ In Hebrews 3:1, the writer exhorts us to consider Jesus (κατανοήσατε) so that we will continue believing in and confessing Him throughout our lives. This word means to pay attention to something through direct observation, with the implication of also thinking about it, meditating on it, and returning to it often, just as one might carefully observe an object in creation or a work of art. … In Hebrews 12:3, the writer calls us again to consider Jesus, but this time as a work of rational analysis (ἀναλογίσασθε), a theological analysis, as opposed to an aesthetical contemplation. This suggests the need to study, read, think deeply, meditate, talk with others, and know Jesus in terms appropriate to His uniqueness and mission.” —T.M. Moore 

“Be silent, if you choose; but when it is necessary, speak—and speak in such a way that people will remember it.” —Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 

Links & Quotes

I’ve got a great Christmas gift idea for you to give to your favorite pastor: a copy of my book When Sheep Bite. I promise you that your pastor has been bitten and that there will be more bites in the future. This book will bring about the healing and restoration that your pastor needs.

I have lots of new content every week, which you can check out on my YouTube channel.

“Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that’s no reason not to give it.” —Agatha Christie 

Skeptics of the Bible will often point to incidents in the Scripture that they would consider genocide. How are Christians to respond to these claims? J. Warner Wallace helps us respond thoughtfully and biblically. 

Our Creator crafted a perfect environment for life to flourish on Earth. This isn’t random chance, but intelligent precision. Check out this short clip that outlines the devastation that would occur with even the smallest of changes.

“Let us remember, dear friends, that as we meet at our tables today with our sisters and brothers from distant parts, we are also invited by our elder Brother, our divine Friend, to join with Him in a higher feast, the way there sprinkled with His own blood. Let us not forget, as we are blessed with the providential bounties for the nourishment of these frail bodies that Christ the Lord summons us to a spiritual feast.” —Rev. James Cruickshanks, November 21, 1861 

“The apostle Paul explained that the power of God at work within us, the power of His indwelling Holy Spirit, is exceedingly abundantly greater than all we could ever ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Greater for what? For a clearer vision of Christ and more intimate communion with Him (Colossians 3:1-3; 2 Corinthians 3:12-18). More continuous and abundant yields of spiritual fruit (Galatians 5.22-23). Greater consistency and effectiveness in the exercise of spiritual gifts for ministry (1 Corinthians 12:7-11). More power to bear witness for Christ, to love God and our neighbors, and to advance His rule of righteousness, peace, and joy on earth as it is in heaven (Acts 1:8; Matthew 22:34-40; Romans 14:17-18).” —T.M. Moore [check out all of the Scripture here

A Book Review of “When Sheep Bite”

I was honored when T.M. Moore agreed to write an endorsement for my book When Sheep Bite, but I am beyond thrilled with the book review he wrote of my book! 

Here’s how he opens his review—

     Shepherding the Lord’s flock can be challenging in the best of times. I recall a comment by John Muir, the father of the national parks movement, who served as a shepherd in Yellowstone valley for some time. He observed that the sheep were difficult to move and to keep going in a single direction. They didn’t always respond well. In fact, he wrote, “It takes a whole flock of sheep to make a single dumb animal.”

     Since we are all the Lord’s sheep, we can probably identify with that—slow to learn, hard-headed, cold-hearted, lazy, complacent, and easily irritated. Not all the time, of course, but some of it, at any rate.

     But when your calling from the Lord is to be a shepherd in the Lord’s flock, to feed and nurture His sheep, protect them from spiritual harm, guide them into a richer and fuller experience of Jesus, and help them find their proper place of service in the Kingdom of God, tending the sheep can be especially challenging.

You can read the rest of his review here. And you can also check out my interview with Moore and his co-host Rusty Rabin on the Ailbe podcast. 

If you are a pastor—or if you love your pastor—please check out When Sheep Bite.

Can Criticism Ever Be A Good Thing?

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Don’t be too quick on this one: I’m wondering if criticism can ever be a good thing?  

Check out this episode of The Podcast. 

The Scriptures that I reference in this video are found in Acts 10-11 

I mentioned my blog post where I talk more about Peter’s rooftop vision and how we went from confused to enlightened. The post is Clearing Up the Confusion.

In the chapter on the bite of criticism, I wrote this—

     Treating our critic as an opponent we have to defeat is sure to injure them and provide an opening for the enemy of our souls to pounce. Perhaps instead we should consider these wise words from A.W. Tozer: “Never be afraid of honest criticism. If the critic is wrong, you can help him; and if you’re wrong, he can help you. Either way, somebody’s helped.” 

     On the other hand, if you come into your meeting with a critic with a humble, willing-to-learn attitude, you will immediately soften the mood in the room. This kind of quietness keeps tempers from flaring (Proverbs 15:1). 

     See beyond the criticism to the critic. … Keep reminding yourself that this is a person to be loved, not an argument to be dismantled. 

Get more information on When Sheep Bite here. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Both Shepherds And Sheep Must Do Better

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

It’s the age-old question of which came first. I think I’ve got some insight for you.  

Check out this episode of The Podcast. 

You can get more information on both of my books here: 

And check another clip I shared from the Fellowship of Ailbe podcast here.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Don’t Take Advice From Armchair Quarterbacks

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

There are some know-it-alls who want to tell pastoral leaders how they should have done things differently. Much like the “armchair quarterbacks” that seem to know all the right calls a team should make, even though they have virtually no experience. 

Pastor, pay very little attention to those armchair quarterbacks that would speak into your life!

Check out this short clip from my time on the Leading From Alignment podcast.

To put the quote that Jim shared from When Sheep Bite into context, here is the full passage—

     Jesus is our perfect example of a Shepherd Leader. His example was to lay it all on the line, regardless of how the sheep were behaving or misbehaving: “I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep” (John 10:11). By contrast, Jesus warns us that those who are not willing to put their lives on the line for the sheep are worse than armchair pastors—Jesus calls them mere hired hands: “The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep” (John 10:12-13). 

     If I am called to be a shepherd leader, attacks will come from both sheep and wolves. It’s what I do in those hard times that shows whether I am truly called or merely acting as an armchair shepherd. 

Please check out both When Sheep Bite and Shepherd Leadership. And get in touch with me if you would like someone to talk to. 

You can check out the full conversation I had with John Opalewski and Jim Wiegand on their Leading From Alignment podcast here.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Time To Check The Mirror

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

All leaders—but especially pastoral leaders—need to work on a better response when we are bitten by a sheep in our pasture. Our natural first response is usually not going to be very helpful for us or for the biting sheep. 

In chapter 2 of my book When Sheep Bite, I wrote this—

  When a painful attack suddenly confronts me, I go to the mirror. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with them that they would bite me like this?” I go to prayer to ask, ‘“Did I do something that provoked this?’’ Sometimes I have literally gone into my bathroom, closed the door, and gotten nose-to-nose with myself to ask this question, and then listened for the Holy Spirit to speak to my heart. 

   My cousin Dick Brogden wrote, “Critics and skeptics are gifts to us, for in their aspersions they often bring to light a brokenness or a liability early on in its development in us. If we are secure enough to ferret out the truth through the condemnation of others, we remain healthy in the long term as our malady is exposed and dealt with before it becomes to serious.” 

   Remember that we are naturally self-protective, so this time of introspection will need to be supernaturally empowered by the Holy Spirit if we are going to see the true prompter of the attack. A prayer I have prayed more times than I can count is, “Search me thoroughly, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24 AMPC). 

Get a copy of my book here to help you heal from the painful sheep bites, and to learn how to respond better with each new biting experience. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Bites Hurt!

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

When people attack their leader—or when sheep bite—it hurts! 

Our first best response is to acknowledge, “That hurt!” but then we need to pause. Our natural response to an attack is fight-or-flight, but healthy leaders take time to learn why that bite occurred. 

This is an excerpt from an episode of The Craig and Greg Show where Greg interviewed me about my new book When Sheep Bite.

If you would like to watch the full episode of our leadership podcast, you can find that here. 

I am getting ready to facilitate a cohort for pastors who have gone through painful sheep bites—or perhaps they are feeling them right now! If you are a pastor, or if you know of a pastor who has been bitten, please check out this cohort here. 

And if you would like to pick up a copy of When Sheep Bite for yourself, you can get that here. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎