10 Steps To Help Someone Through A Tragedy

Christians should be the best at loving others and supporting them through a tragedy. When someone’s world is rocked by an unexpected heartache like a miscarriage, a suicide, a difficult medical diagnosis, or even a hurricane, here is my list of 10 steps to help someone through this trying time. You may watch this short video, or see the list of 10 items below…

  1. Just be there for them.
  2. Listen.
  3. Listen.
  4. Listen to them some more.
  5. Don’t try to “fix” their problem.
  6. Weep with those who weep.”
  7. Don’t defend God (like Job’s friends tried to do).
  8. Pray for the Holy Spirit to give you insight.
  9. Remind them of their responsibility now—your choices to go forward, how will you honor their memory, how can you help others in a similar situation, what does this make you think about your eternity?
  10. Stay in touch for the long haul (remember the birthday of their dead loved one; be them for the anniversary date of a marriage, the day their loved one died; go to those doctor’s appointments with them; roll up your sleeves and work alongside them). Use your creativity to proactively be there for them.

13 More Quotes From “The Broken Way”

Ann Voskamp’s book The Broken Way is a whole new way of looking at pain, disappointment, shortcomings and brokenness. You’ve got to read this book! You can check out my full book review by clicking here.

“The only way to the abundant life is to love the right things in the right ways.”

“The self is ultimately never really sacrificed in giving, but our real self is ultimately found.”

“Sacrifice isn’t so much about losing what you love, but giving your love on to whom you love more. When you sacrifice for what you love, you gain more of what you love.” 

“What matters most is not if our love makes other people change, but that in loving, we change.”

“Be the bread so broken and given that a hungry world yearns for more of the taste of such glory. Be bread so broken and given to a hungry world that your own hunger is filled in communion with God.”

“Until you see the depths of brokenness in you, you can’t know the depths of Christ’s love for you.”

“Reduce repentance to a single act at the beginning of your Christian life and you reduce your whole Christian life to an act.” 

“Relationships only get to exist as long as they keep breathing in the air of mutual forgiveness.”

“The best investment of your life is to love exactly when it’s most inconvenient.”

“The greatest danger to our soul is not success or status or superiority—but self-lies. When you listen to the self-lies hissing that you’re unlovable, unacceptable, unwanted, that’s when you go seeking your identity in success or status or superiority and not in your Savior. Self-lies are the destroyer of the soul because they drown out the sacred voice that can never stop whispering your name: Beloved.”

“Every belittling of self is a belittling of God, a kind of blaspheming of God’s sufficiency and enoughness.”

“Grace embraces you before you prove anything, and after you’ve done everything wrong. Every time you fall down, at the bottom of every hole is grace. Grace waits in broken places. Grace waits at the bottom of things. Grace loves you when you are at your darkest worst, and wraps you in the best light. Grace seeps through the broken places and seeps into the lowest places, a balm for wounds.”

“Believers in Christ are seen by God exactly as Christ is seen by God.”

You can check out the first set of quotes I shared from The Broken Way by clicking here.

The Broken Way (book review)

“What in God’s holy name do you do when it feels like you’re broken and cut up, and love has failed, and you’ve failed, and you feel like Somebody’s love has failed you?” With these raw, penetrating questions, Ann Voskamp opens her book The Broken Way.

Not only does she open her book, but she opens her heart. In every chapter we are gifted with Ann’s vulnerability and realness. Yes, it is a gift that someone like Ann would be so transparent in sharing her pain, her questions, and also her path to healing and wholeness.

Yet Ann would probably tell me that “wholeness” is not the goal. The goal is brokenness and givenness before God and to the other broken, hurting people around me. It’s in the embracing of the healing that comes from the Healer, and in giving that healing to others, that we truly find how Jesus walks with us on the broken way.

This is a book of healing. A book that will remind you that you are not alone in your pain, in your questions, in your searching for answers. This book is a gift to anyone who feels broken, cut up, cut off, or beaten down.

Perhaps you need this book for yourself. Perhaps you can read it with a broken friend. In either case, reading this book will help reveal the depths of love that can flood into your life when you encounter the Wounded Healer: Jesus!

It’s Good When God Says, “No, Never, Certainly Not!”

No!My friend, God is fully aware of the situation you are facing. He knows what is happening in your life. Here’s the good news—the great news: you are not going down, but you are going through!

“What does God want from you in your difficult time? He wants you to believe His Word—His promises! He wants you to fully trust that He is with you in your struggle. It does not matter if all hell is coming at you, His presence will never be taken from you, even in the midst of your fears and tears. No dart of the devil—no powerful attack against you—will destroy you. Your Father already has a plan of deliverance in place. God is waiting for you to cling to Him in blind trust. He wants you to be able to face all your ferocious temptations, and say, ‘I may not understand this but I know my Lord will not forsake me. I am trusting Him to see me through!’ … God is saying, ‘You’re not going down. I am with you through all of this! If you will just seek My face and trust Me, I will bring you through—because I am always with you!’” —David Wilkerson

In Hebrews 13:5 God says, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.”

But in English this isn’t quite strong enough. In this short phrase the Greek language uses five negatives. Let me try to state God’s words as they are literally written—

I will never, certainly not, by no means ever loosen My grip on you, and I will never, certainly not, by no means ever leave you behind, nor leave you helpless, nor leave you abandoned. 

Commenting on this verse, Charles Spurgeon wrote—

“This priceless Scripture does not promise us exemption from trouble, but it does secure us against desertion. We may be called to traverse strange ways, but we shall always have our Lord’s company, assistance, and provision. … Come, my heart; if God says He will never leave you nor forsake you, be much in prayer for grace that you may never leave the Lord, nor even for a moment forsake His ways.”

Oh my, what a word of hope! God has not abandoned you, friend. In fact, the Bible makes it clear that He is close to the brokenhearted and the beat-up. He will never, certainly not, by no means ever leave you, so don’t leave Him but cling even more tightly to His unshakable promise!

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