Giving Preference To Others

July 20, 2022 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.

“Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another” (Romans 12:10). 

What does it mean to give preference to a friend or loved one? Here are a few suggestions to get the ball rolling. 

Giving preference means I am…

  1. …speaking their “language.” I am a classic Doer, which means my style is, “Ready, Fire! aim.” I need to give grace to those who move a bit slower than me.
  1. …moving at their “speed.” My temperament is highly choleric, so I get fired up quickly and attack situations head-on. I need to give grace to those temperaments that are less emotional and want to handle things more strategically. 
  1. …sensitive to their “fears.” It’s insensitive for me to say, “It’s no big deal” about something that troubles them. Empathy is important so I can see and feel things like they see and feel them. 
  1. …helping them battle their “demons.” Perhaps viewing pornography isn’t a temptation for me, but it may be for someone else. So I need to seek out resources and accountability to help them fight this battle like I was fighting my own battle. 
  1. …avoiding their “stumbling blocks.” Perhaps I can watch certain genres of movies without compromising my Christian testimony, but it may cause my brother or sister a lot of grief. If I am going to prefer them in love, I will avoid talking about those movies in their presence, and I certainly won’t try to get them to “lighten up” to see things my way. 

Agape love is never selfish—it doesn’t want “my way” but it wants others to be edified. So, ultimately, what it means to give preference to another is to only promote those things that will build them up. Remember: saints is always plural in the New Testament, so we must build each other up to bring out the saintliness in all of us. 

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Poetry Saturday—I Stay Near The Door

March 26, 2022 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.

I stay near the door.
I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out,
The door is the most important door in the world—
It is the door through which men walk when they find God.
There’s no use my going way inside, and staying there,
When so many are still outside, and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where a door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind men.
With outstretched, groping hands,
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it…
So I stay near the door.


The most tremendous thing in the world 
Is for men to find that door—the door to God. 
The most important thing any man can do 
Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands, 
And put it on the latch—the latch that only clicks 
And opens to the man’s own touch. 
Men die outside that door, as starving beggars die 
On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter— 
Die for want of what is within their grasp. 
They live, on the other side of it—live because they have found it. 
Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it, 
And open it, and walk in, and find Him… 
So I stay near the door.




Go in, great saints, go all the way in— 
Go way down into the cavernous cellars, 
And way up into the spacious attics— 
In a vast, roomy house, this house where God is. 
Go into the deepest of hidden casements, 
Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood. 
Some must inhabit those inner rooms, 
And know the depths and heights of God, 
And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is. 
Sometimes I take a deeper look in, 
Sometimes venture a little farther; 
But my place seems closer to the opening… 
So I stay near the door.




The people too far in do not see how near these are 
To leaving—preoccupied with the wonder of it all. 
Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door, 
But would like to run away. So for them, too, 
I stay near the door.




I admire the people who go way in. 
But I wish they would not forget how it was 
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help 
The people who have not even found the door, 
Or the people who want to run away again from God. 
You can go in too deeply, and stay in too long, 
And forget the people outside the door. 
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place, 
Near enough to God to hear Him, and know He is there, 
But not so far from men as not to hear them, 
And remember they are there too. 
Where? Outside the door— 
Thousands of them, millions of them. 
But—more important for me— 
One of them, two of them, ten of them, 
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch, 
So I shall stay by the door and wait 
For those who seek it.  
‘I had rather be a door-keeper…’ 
So I stay near the door. —Samuel Shoemaker




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Poetry Saturday—If None

March 12, 2022 — Craig T. Owens 




Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 



If none were sick and none were sad,


   What service could we render?


I think if we were always glad


   We scarcely could be tender.


Did our beloved never need


   Our patient ministration,


Earth would grow cold and miss indeed


   Its sweetest consolation.


If sorrow never claimed our heart,


   And every wish were granted,


Patience would die and hope depart—


   Life would be disenchanted. —Anonymous




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Poetry Saturday—Must I My Brother Keep?

February 20, 2021 — Craig T. Owens 




Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple or Spotify.



Must I my brother keep,


And share his pain and toil;


And weep for those who weep,


And smile with those who smile;


And act to each a brother’s part,


And feel his sorrows in my heart?




Must I his burden bear,


As though it were my own,


And do as I would care,


Should to myself be done;


And faithful to his interests prove,


And as myself my neighbor love?




Then Jesus at Thy feet


A student let me be,


And learn as it is meet,


My duty, Lord, of Thee;


For Thou didst come on mercy’s plan,


And all Thy life was love to man.




Oh! make me as Thou art;


Thy Spirit, Lord, bestow—


The kind and gentle heart


That feels another’s woe.


May I be thus like Christ my Head,


And in my Savior’s footsteps tread! —Thomas Raffles




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Learning Empathy

November 23, 2020 — Craig T. Owens 




I’m an up-and-at-em, carpe diem kinda guy. Nothing gets me down for very long—I’m resilient and self-motivated. So I used to have a hard time relating to people who weren’t wired the same way. That is until I went through a time in my life where getting up-and-at-em was one of the hardest things I had to do each day.  


In the midst of this dark night, I would ask God, “Why is this happening to me? What did I do wrong?” But I heard the Holy Spirit gently but unmistakably remind me, “This isn’t about you!” 


The dictionary says that empathy is nearly a transliterated word from the Greek word empatheia. It means to be in suffering, but the emphasis is more on imaginative empathy. Something like, “If I was them and I was in that situation, I bet it might feel like this.” 


In the New Testament, a different Greek word is translated sympathy, which is also a transliterated word from the Greek sympatheō. This word means to enter into another’s suffering, but the emphasis is on experiential empathy. In other words, I don’t have to imagine how you might feel, but I know how you feel because I’ve gone through the same thing myself. 


Just as the Holy Spirit taught me this lesson, let me say the same thing to you: the dark night you are going through isn’t about you. It’s about learning empathy SO THAT you can help others persevere all the way to the end! 


Think about the dark night Jesus went through just before His crucifixion. He might have asked His Father, “Why is this happening to Me? What did I do wrong?” But He knew why He was going through this night: it was to prepare Him to be the perfect empathetic High Priest for all of us (check out these verses in Hebrews).  


When we invite Jesus to be our Lord and Savior, we become a part of His Body (1 Corinthians 12:13, 26). 


Dr. Paul Brand was a renowned hand surgeon and missionary who worked with leprosy patients in India for years. He learned that leprosy doesn’t mangle a person’s foot or hand, but their lack of ability to feel pain does. He wrote, “A body only possesses unity to the degree that it possess pain…. We must develop a lower threshold of pain by listening, truly listening, to those who suffer. … The body protects poorly what it does not feel.” 


Sometimes we have to go through the painful, dark nights so that we can learn to feel others’ pain so that we can learn empathy. 


Through those nights we can learn to hear what others aren’t saying, and feel what others aren’t expressing. We don’t have to ask, “Can I help?” but rather, “I’m here to help because I know what you’re going through.” 


You cannot truly empathize until you go through your own dark night. I can be thankful IN the night because God is growing my empathy so that I can help others! 




If you’ve missed any of the other messages in this series, you can check out the full list by clicking here. 






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Refined By The Fire

March 30, 2020 — Craig T. Owens 






Where is God in our trials? When we call, Jesus runs to our cry. He is able to help us because He knows exactly what our cries sound like. Aren’t you glad He does?! 


While we are in these difficult times, you might find yourself asking a question I have asked, “Okay, God, I believe You are doing something, but what exactly are You doing?” 


I can’t tell you specifically what God is doing in your life, because your story is unique and special. But I can tell you that during the hard, painful chapters of our lives, God is accomplishing at least five things in all of us.


    

  1. God is opening our eyes to new paradigms
    2. 



We will learn lessons in these fiery trials that we couldn’t possibly learn any other way. 


    

  1. God is building empathy in us which we didn’t have before
    2. 



One dictionary defines empathy as “the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person’s feelings.” It’s only because of our trials that we no longer have to imagine what someone else is feeling, but instead we know exactly what they’re feeling and how we can help. 


    

  1. God is growing our patience 
    2. 



It’s been said that patience is the “mother of all other virtues.” Paul said that “these troubles produce patience” (Romans 5:3). As God grows your patience, He will also help you to grow all of the other Christlike virtues. 


    

  1. God is refining His character in us 
    2. 



Paul went on to add that not only does trouble produce patience, but “patience produces character” (Romans 5:4). During the times of difficulty and uncertainty, we become more aware of deficiencies in our character. 


    

  1. God is building in us an unshakable hope in His future grace 
    2. 



Hope is not wishful thinking; it’s well-founded believing! 


I want to circle back to that word refining because I think that best sums up what God is doing in our painful times. Romans 8 tells us—The Spirit Himself thus testifies together with our own spirit, assuring us that we are children of God. And if we are His children, then we are His heirs also: heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ—sharing His inheritance with Him; only we must share His suffering if we are to share His glory. But what of that? For I consider that the sufferings of this present time—this present life—are not worth being compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us and for us and conferred on us! (Romans 8:15-18) 


So where’s God in this time of fire? He is overseeing our trial as a Perfect Refiner. Do you know how the silversmith knows he has purified the impurities from the silver ore? The silver is pure when he can see his own reflection in the silver! 


In the heat of your trial, God is close to you. He knows the perfect temperature and the precise time that it will take to allow His face to be seen in you! 


Sometimes you will see what God is doing through your furnace time, sometimes you won’t. But don’t ever bail out! God IS working! He is giving you a new perspective, a deeper empathy, more patience, an unshakable hope, and most of all—He is removing the impurities that will allow His face to be seen more clearly in you! 




Join me this Sunday as we continue to learn where God is in our darkest times. And if you didn’t catch the previous messages in this series, please check out The God That Runs To You and How Long Will This Last?






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Poetry Saturday—On Another’s Sorrow

March 21, 2020 — Craig T. Owens 




Can I see another’s woe,


And not be in sorrow too?


Can I see another’s grief,


And not seek for kind relief?




Can I see a falling tear,


And not feel my sorrow’s share?


Can a father see his child


Weep, nor be with sorrow filled?




Can a mother sit and hear


An infant groan, an infant fear?


No, no! never can it be!


Never, never can it be!




And can He who smiles on all


Hear the wren with sorrows small,


Hear the small bird’s grief and care,


Hear the woes that infants bear—




And not sit beside the next,


Pouring pity in their breast,


And not sit the cradle near,


Weeping tear on infant’s tear?




And not sit both night and day,


Wiping all our tears away?


Oh no! never can it be!


Never, never can it be!


He doth give His joy to all:


He becomes an infant small,


He becomes a man of woe,


He doth feel the sorrow too.




Think not thou canst sigh a sigh,


And thy Maker is not by:


Think not thou canst weep a tear,


And thy Maker is not near.




Oh He gives to us His joy,


That our grief He may destroy:


Till our grief is fled an gone


He doth sit by us and moan. —William Blake








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When Trials Come

August 20, 2019 — Craig T. Owens 




Notice that the title of this post says “when” not “if.” Maybe this will be a newsflash for some of you (but I highly doubt it): Christians will face trials.


Even the apostle James says, “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy” (James 1:2). Wait, trials are “an opportunity for great joy”? How can that be?!




→ Trials teach us lessons that we can learn in no other way! ←




How much more mature, and wise, and empathetic would we become if instead of trying to get out of the trials that come our way, we would instead see what we could get out of that trial!


We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love. (Romans 5:3-5)


“When trials come we can try to get out of them, or we can learn to get something out of them.” 


—Craig T. Owens


So the next time a trial comes your way, ask the Holy Spirit to show you what lessons you can learn by going through the trial.






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Poetry Saturday—Not Understood

August 10, 2019 — Craig T. Owens 




Not understood. We move along asunder; 


Our paths grow wider as the seasons creep


Along the years; we marvel and we wonder


Why life is life? and then we fall asleep, 


Not understood. 




Not understood, we gather false impressions 


And hug them closer as the years go by; 


Till virtues often seem to us transgressions; 


And thus men rise and fall, and live and die 


Not understood. 




Not understood! Poor souls with stunted vision 


Oft measure giants with their narrow gauge; 


The poisoned shafts of falsehood and derision 


Are oft impelled ‘gainst those who mould the age, 


Not understood. 




Not understood! The secret springs of action 


Which lie beneath the surface and the show, 


Are disregarded; with self-satisfaction 


We judge our neighbours, and they often go 


Not understood. 




Not understood! How trifles often change us! 


The thoughtless sentence and the fancied slight 


Destroy long years of friendship, and estrange us, 


And on our souls there falls a freezing blight; 


Not understood. 




Not understood. How many breasts are aching


For lack of sympathy! Ah! day by day, 


How many cheerless, lonely hearts are breaking! 


How many noble spirits pass away


Not understood. 




Oh, God! that men would see a little clearer, 


Or judge less harshly where they cannot see; 


O God! that men would draw a littler nearer


To one another, they’d be nearer Thee, 


And understood. —Thomas Bracken








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12 Quotes From “Love Like That”

September 26, 2018 — Craig T. Owens 




Dr. Les Parrott dives into the loving life of Jesus and takes us with him to discover the five was Jesus loved. Check out my full book review by clicking here, and then enjoy some of the quotes I especially liked. 


“The great hindrance to true enjoyment is our willingness to settle for pitiful pleasures.” 


“What keeps us from being mindful? I can answer this question with one word: agendas. … Every one of us has the capacity to set aside our self-interest, temporarily. We have the ability at any time to press the pause button on what we want. … That’s the moment we become mindful.” 


“Loving like Jesus is not efficient. It takes time away from our own agenda-driven pace.” 


“Jesus was shockingly accessible to anyone who felt undesirable or unwanted—lepers, Gentiles, tax collectors, the poor and persecuted, pagans and sinners. He wasn’t like other ‘holy men’ in Judea. His fellow rabbis operated on the principles of exclusion and isolation.” 


“If you want to love like Jesus, you can’t limit your love to people who deserve it.” 


“God is happy to give unconditional acceptance and unmerited grace to all who will receive it.” 


“We can’t give grace to others when we are aren’t receiving it ourselves. When we’re busy earning acceptance from God, we start to think everyone else should earn it too. Judgmentalism creeps in. Self-righteousness appears. … When we aren’t cognizant of God’s unconditional acceptance in our own lives, we can’t give it to others.” 


“If you want to love like Jesus, you can’t shy away from what you know is right and true. You can’t remain silent just to go unnoticed. Loving like Jesus is not for the chickenhearted. It requires a fierce commitment to being authentic. It requires a bold commitment to being a truth-teller. … No one accused Jesus of being a pushover—or winsome.” 


“Self-giving is selfishness in reverse. It is not concerned with benefits, and it expects nothing in return. … It comes down to motive. You can be a giver and still expect something in return. … True self-giving is offering the best of who you are to others, and it comes with no strings attached.” 


“The long and short of it is that we love like Jesus when we allow Jesus to love through us. It’s not about our effort. We are not trying to imitate Jesus. It’s an inside job. It’s about being a channel for His love.” 


“Loving like Jesus isn’t achieved as much as it is received.” 


“The word intuition comes from the Latin word intueri, which is roughly translated as meaning ‘to contemplate.’ You see, our intuition stems from what we are considering, what we are sensitive to or attuned to do. … So, if you want to hear from God, you’ve got to slow down enough to clear your head and be attuned to His Spirit. That’s when the sacred gift of God’s whisper is heard—when you become accustomed to His voice.” 


I’ll be sharing more quotes from Love Like That soon, so stay tuned! Update—new quotes are posted here.






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