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I’ve been called to some challenging leadership roles in my life—many of which made me feel like I was in way over my head! But without a close second, the heaviest mantle I’ve ever felt is the one called “Father.” Holding my firstborn son in my arms was indescribable, and it didn’t feel any lighter or less daunting when our other children arrived.
The rabbis saw something significant in the Ten Commandments. Some people have noted that the first four Commandments are about our vertical relationship with God, while the next six are about our horizontal relationships with people. But the rabbis saw the Fifth Commandment as the linchpin—with parents in a creator-like role and as the first leader our children will be exposed to, and parents taking on the role as the first and most significant instructor for our children to know God for themselves.
God gives us the example to follow: He instructs us gently but firmly, anticipating our needs, and giving us exactly what we need (Psalm 103:13-14; Luke 6:36, 12:32; Matthew 6:8).
And then Jesus tells us to follow this example: “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). Yikes, talk about a heavy weight!
In the only song of ascent attributed to King Solomon (Psalm 127) we read both a longing for our families to be with us at the end of our journey to Zion, but also a hint of the difficulty of this.
In the middle verse of this song, we are assured that our children are given to specific parents by God on purpose. He knew what He was doing in giving them into our care. That means each parent is uniquely equipped for each child’s unique personality, temperament, and gift package.
Twice in the opening verse, Solomon uses the word “unless.” Unless we seek God’s help in building our children and watching over them, our efforts on their own will be “in vain.” That phrase (“in vain”) is used three times in the opening two verses. Solomon wrote a lot about vanity in the Book of Ecclesiastes. But it’s important to note that Solomon always uses this word in association with the phrase “under the sun.” Unless we get help from God—unless we lift our eyes up higher than this earth—our efforts alone will be frustrating and anxiety-inducing.
Remember that parents are the linchpin in the Ten Commandments? Those first four Commandments tell us to put God first, don’t create any idols to rival Him, don’t misuse His name, and trust Him enough to rest from your labors (Exodus 20:1-11). That means that we parents cannot put our kids ahead of God (Luke 14:26). Unless God is our first priority, we won’t have the spiritual, emotional, or mental stamina to parent well. Or, as C.S. Lewis noted, “When I have learned to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.”
In his collection of proverbs, Solomon told us, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Jesus said there is only one sure foundation, and that is knowledge and obedience of God’s Word (Matthew 7:24-27).
The final two verses of Psalm 127 assure parents that when we commit our children to God’s hands, He blesses them and uses them as His weapons, His leaders, and His culture changers.
There is not only a weight in parenting, but there is also a wait in parenting. In the last song of ascent we studied, we learned that we have a promise two times that we will (not “might”) reap a harvest, even if we have to sow seeds in tears (Psalm 126:5-6).
In the Bible, waiting is never passive. It’s an active watching to see how God will move. We see this in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) where the father waited expectantly for his wayward son to return. This Dad had given his son a firm foundation at the start of his life, and then he waited in prayer until his son “came to his senses”—until he realized that all other ways of living away from God were vanity.
In the midst of her prayers for her own prodigal son, Monica shared her concerns with Ambrose, bishop of Milan, and he said, “It cannot be that the son of those tears be lost.” Monica continued to wait for her son Augustine, sowing her seeds in tears but fully expecting the song of joy that would come with the harvest.
Years later, in his autobiography called Confessions, Augustine wrote of his mother, “My mother, Your faithful servant, wept to You for me, shedding more tears for my spiritual death than others shed for the bodily death of a son. You heard her.”
Parents, as you call out to God on behalf of your children, shed those tears in the joy of the anticipated harvest, knowing that God hears you!
If you’ve missed any of the other messages in our series looking at these songs of ascent in the Book of Psalms, you can find them all here.
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Craig T. Owens 