Should We Listen To Critics?

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Do you know this pair of cantankerous men from the Muppets? Statler and Waldorf sit in the balcony of the theatre and criticize everything that is happening on the stage. I mean everything! They have a good laugh at their barbs, but no one on the stage seems to find it humorous. 

Have you ever met people like this? How do you typically respond to their criticism? 

Unfortunately, those who are trying to do the right thing are often the targets of almost constant criticism. Abraham Lincoln said, “If I were to attempt to answer all the criticisms and complaints I receive, I would have no time for any other business.” 

President Lincoln was a great leader but he wasn’t without fault, so to certain extent we could expect a little bit of criticism from people who didn’t like his policies. But what about Jesus? It was prophesied about Him that He would be the target of criticism (Isaiah 53:3). 

(Check out all of the Scriptures in this post by clicking here.) 

Those out to get Jesus even criticized those who attended to Him. In Mark 14:1-5, they are criticizing a woman who poured perfume on Jesus out of her sincere desire to honor Him. Yet they spoke about her and her actions “indignantly” (v. 4), and they rebuked and criticized her (v. 5). The Greek word in this verse literally means he snorting of horses! 

Jesus stepped in to protect this God-fearing woman, “Why are you bothering her? Why are you criticizing this beautiful thing she had done for Me?” 

Notice that Jesus responded to the critics, but the woman did not respond. Does that mean that we never answer critics? Are we supposed to ignore them? 

First, let’s go back in time to the origin of the words critic and criticism. These words originally meant someone capable of giving a meaningful—perhaps even constructive or helpful—judgment. Think of a trained and skilled chef critiquing your recipe, as opposed to someone who cannot tell the difference between nutmeg and ginger. 

The natural response is to ignore all criticism. The supernatural response is prayerfully evaluate criticism. Solomon says there is such a thing as valid criticism (Proverbs 25:12). 

So who is a valid critic? 

(1) Someone who loves me (Proverbs 27:17; Ephesians 4:15). Paul loved Peter and respected his leadership role in the church, but he still criticized Peter when he messed up (Galatians 2:9, 11).  

(2) Someone who has experience or godly wisdom that we don’t yet have (Ecclesiastes 7:5). Micaiah had a word from God, even though King Ahab thought Micaiah simply didn’t like him (1 Kings 22:1-18). 

(3) Someone who wants to hurt me. Really!? Dick Brogden wrote, “The Lord uses critics to show us our own hearts, even if what they say is not fully true, informed, or even fair. There is almost always a germ of truth in what our critics (in their own pain and disappointment) shout at us. The wise [person] will humble himself and look for the truth embedded in every oppositional interaction.” As we saw previously from Psalm 26:2, when we hear words of criticism, we need to make it a matter of prayer. 

Jesus told the woman’s critics to “leave her alone” but He never defended Himself against the childish barbs (Isaiah 53:7; Matthew 27:13-14). I think we would do well to follow His example. So when criticized, take a deep breath, smile, hear them out, ask clarifying questions, and then say, “Thank you for sharing that with me. I’ll make this a matter of prayer.” 

They might accuse you, but you should turn it over to God (Psalm 109:4). 

The natural response is to respond all critics. The supernatural response is to respond like Jesus (see 1 Peter 2:21-23). 

Remember that quote from Abraham Lincoln we saw earlier? Here’s the rest of his quote—

“From day to day I do the best I can and will continue to do so till the end. If in the end I come out all right, then the complaints and criticisms and what is said against me will make no difference. But, if the end brings me out wrong, then ten angels coming down from heaven to swear I was right would still make no difference.” 

Ultimately, we are longing to hear Jesus say, “Well done.” If He cannot say that to us, does it really matter if everyone else praised us? But if Jesus says, “Well cone,” does it really matter the criticism others said about us? 

Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us respond supernaturally to our critics—listen prayerfully to ever critic, but only respond to them as Jesus did. 

If you have missed any of the other messages in this series When Sheep Bite Sheep, you can find them all here. And if you’re a pastor, be sure to check out my book When Sheep Bite. 

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Beware Of The Sneaky Bite

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Check out a couple of ways I could greet you in this post:

  1. It’s great to see all of you today. I am really glad you stopped by my blog. 
  2. In fact, no one is as astute as you are. No one digs into the Scripture the way you do. There is no one else in the world that I would want visiting my blog today. 

What did I just do? I went from genuinely complimenting you to flattering you. I bit you. Flattery is a sneaky bite that we need to be aware of. 

A compliment is simply defined as an expression of praise or admiration. 

Flattery, on the other hand, crosses the line. It’s defined as trying to please someone by excessive or insincere praise. The reason why I call flattery a bite is because the flatterer is only thinking about himself, not about you. 

Flatterers are trying to get something for themselves. See how the rich young man tried to do this by flattering Jesus in Mark 10:17. The Amplified Bible brings out the man’s flattery more clearly: Teacher, You are essentially and perfectly morally good. 

(You can read all of the Scriptures I reference in this post by clicking here.)

This man was looking for the secret formula that would get him into Heaven, so he wasn’t complimenting Jesus but flattering Him to get a favorable answer. 

Jude described these pseudo-religious people as ones who “flatter others for their own advantage” (Jude 1:16). The NKJV says they use “great swelling words.” Peter describes these same kinds of people as speaking “great swelling words of emptiness” (2 Peter 2:18). 

Flatterers are trying to trip you up so they are recognized as your superior. Once again, we can see how tricksters tried this tactic on Jesus in Mark 12:14. We know they are insincere because of the background information Mark gives us in vv. 12-13. 

David described flatterers in Psalm 12:1-3. The AMPC says they talk “with flattering lips and double heart” and The Message paraphrases it, “Lies slide off their oily lips. They doubletalk with forked tongues” (v. 2). 

Solomon warns us of the net they are setting for us: Those who flatter their neighbors are spreading nets for their feet (Proverbs 29:5). 

Flatterers are trying to cover up their own sinfulness. David again diagnoses this in Psalm 36:1-4. This also means that sometimes we can flatter ourselves to avoid dealing with our own sin. 

It’s natural to want to hear a compliment, but we need supernatural discernment to protect ourselves from the sneaky bite of flattery. 

Look how Jesus did this in Mark 10:17-18. Remember the Amplified Bible that laid it on so thick? Jesus responded correctly: “There is no one essentially and perfectly morally good—except God alone” (v. 18). If we are going to do any comparing at all, let’s compare ourselves to our perfect God and Savior. Remember, we have done a self-check (Psalm 26:2) so we know what’s really there! 

Swallowing this flattery only fuels the pride inside us. C.S. Lewis warned, “It was through Pride that the devil became the devil; it is the complete anti-God state of mind. … Pride is a spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.” 

Look at the other example from Jesus in Mark 12:12-15. When Jesus sensed their flattery, He called it what it was: hypocrisy! 

What we all need instead is God-fearing friends who speak the truth in love (Proverbs 27:6, 9). 

Flattery makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. Flattery makes you forget the things the Holy Spirit has revealed to you that needs work. But Jesus asked, “What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” (Mark 8:36 NLT). 

The sincerest compliment we should all be living to hear is, “Well done, good and faithful servant! Enter into your Master’s happiness forever and ever!” No other voice matters! 

Check out the other messages in this series called When Sheep Bite Sheep by clicking here. And if you are a pastor, check out my book When Sheep Bite. 

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The Glorious Gospel

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Paul opens his letter to the saints at Rome with two powerful words: the gospel (Romans 1:1).

(Check out all of the biblical references in this post by clicking here.)

The word gospel simply means the good news about the salvation that comes only through Jesus.

Paul loves this word! 

Interestingly, although we refer to the first four books of the New Testament as “The Gospels,” the word itself barely appears: 

  • Matthew—4 times 
  • Mark—8 times 
  • Luke—0 times 
  • John—0 times

And even though these four opening books are the Gospels about Jesus, He Himself only uses the word nine times, with the other three times attributed to someone else mentioning what Jesus was doing. 

Peter only uses this word twice (Acts 15:7; 1 Peter 4:17). And John uses it just once (Revelation 14:6). 

Paul, however, uses this word 64 times! 

It becomes such a part of who he is and how he thinks, that he calls it “my gospel” twice (Romans 2:16, 16:25) and “our gospel” three times (2 Corinthians 4:3; Colossians 1:23; 2 Thessalonians 2:14). 

For Paul and for us this Good News is—

  • God’s promises fulfilled 
  • salvation power 
  • the fullness of God’s blessing 
  • the opening of mysteries 
  • the guide for godly living 
  • glorious light 
  • the expression of God’s grace 
  • the standard of all truth 
  • a key part of the Christian’s spiritual armor 
  • the empowerment for ministry 
  • the anchor of unshakable hope 
  • the means by which we experience Christ’s glory 
  • the only door to life and immortality 

For those of us who have been called to preach this Gospel, these thoughts should both humble and empower. 

For those of us who have been saved by believing this Gospel, these thoughts should cause us to desire to know more, and more, and more about our Savior. 

What a glorious Gospel this is! 

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Never Self-Sufficient

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There is a cliche people love to quote: “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” 

Is this how Christians should live? 

It sounds like the experienced fisherman may be annoyed at having to catch a fish every day just to give it to someone else. If you want to put a noble spin on the cliche, you could say that the wise and patient fisherman invested his time to teach someone else to provide for themselves, never needing to return to their teacher. 

This certainly wouldn’t be the example of Jesus. 

As He was teaching the large crowd of people, whom He thought of as sheep without a shepherd, they became hungry. Jesus directed His disciples to feed them. He didn’t tell them to teach the crowd to provide for themselves. 

As Jesus miraculously fed thousands of people, notice that He kept on giving until they were all satisfied—

     And taking the five loaves and two fish, He looked up to heaven and, praising God, gave thanks and broke the loaves and kept on giving them to the disciples to set before the people; and He also divided the two fish among them all. And they all ate and were satisfied. (Mark 6:41-42 AMPC)

The example in the Old Testament was to look to God for a supply of manna every single day. In the New Testament, Jesus taught us to pray for our daily supply of bread every single day (Exodus 16:14-17; Matthew 6:11; John 6:35).

Jesus never wants us to become self-sufficient. Instead, He wants us to remain steadfastly connected to Himself—as surely as a branch is connected to the vine. 

Far from teaching us to provide for ourselves, Jesus says, “If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). 

Jesus is never wearied by our continually coming to Him; rather, He is delighted when we do! He wants to be our supply each and every day for all of eternity! 

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Continuing to Learn

     With many such parables Jesus spoke the Word to them, as they were able to hear and to comprehend and understand. He did not tell them anything without a parable; but privately to His disciples (those who were peculiarly His own) He explained everything fully. (Mark 4:33-34 AMPC)

We will “comprehend and understand” more when we are ready to handle it. There is a joy in the learning process—an excitement that comes as new depths of meaning are revealed to us. Be faithful and obedient with what has been revealed to you. Continue to abide in the presence of the Lord, meditating on His Word until He explains more to you. 

Jesus wants us to understand His words. 

There is a joy that comes through the prayerful pondering of and the searching through what He has said. Even if we don’t fully grasp all of the truth initially, what we do perceive is precious. And what we don’t fully understand, we keep searching. As G.K. Chesterton noted, “The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man.” 

Then Jesus said—

     “Things are hidden temporarily only as a means to revelation. For there is nothing hidden except to be revealed, nor is anything temporarily kept secret except in order that it may be made known. If any man has ears to hear, let him be listening and let him perceive and comprehend.” And He said to them, “Be careful what you are hearing. The measure of thought and study you give to the truth you hear will be the measure of virtue and knowledge that comes back to you—and more besides will be given to you who hear.” (Mark 4:22-24 AMPC) 

PUSHing For God’s “Yes

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Parents, I want you to think back to your children asking you for something they really wanted. How many times did they ask? How many different ways did they ask? What sort of strategies did they use? Did you ever sense any hesitation in them coming to you to make their request? 

Do you have this firmly in mind? Good, because this is how Jesus explains prayer. 

Jesus called God His Father, and when His disciples asked Him how to pray, Jesus instructed them to address God as “Father” (Luke 11:1-2). 

(Check out all of the Scriptures in this post by clicking here.)

This is so remarkable! 

  • Hindus don’t call God “father” but they flip it around by saying, “Father is like God” to teach children to respect their earthly fathers. 
  • Buddhists don’t believe in a God that anyone can worship or even have a relationship. 
  • Islam gives Allah 99 names, but not one of the names is “Father.” 
  • Jewish rabbis don’t see how anyone other than Jewish people can even think of God as their Father, but even they don’t presume to address Him that way in their prayers. 

And yet Jesus tells us to come to prayer to the Almighty Creator and Sustainer of the universe with, “Father.” There is intimacy in that title. There is an understanding of knowingness and trustworthiness in that title. There is an implied belief of perfect provision in that title. 

We looked at Luke 11:9-10 previously, and we saw especially how the Amplified Bible brings out the idea of asking again and again and again. But is this what Jesus really meant for us to do? Don’t you feel a bit like a pest asking this way? 

The disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray (Luke 11:1-4), but then Jesus gave them an un-asked-for illustration to make His point (vv. 5-8). 

The Greek word for “boldness” in v. 8 is translated “shameless persistence” or “sheer persistence” or “shameless audacity” in various biblical translations. In the Greek, it’s a unique word (anaideia) which means without shame. 

The sleeping friend—although he was tired and the request for bread came at an inconvenient time—still wanted to honor his friend. Or more precisely, he wanted to preserve the honor of his friend. 

There’s another Greek word (hypomone) that I would define as stick-to-it-iveness. Two great examples are Bartimaeus (Mark 10:46-52) and the Syrophoenician mother (Matthew 15:21-28). 

In light the the story of the Good Samaritan in the previous chapter of Luke, I think this friend was practicing the Golden Rule: he wouldn’t want to lose standing in the community or be embarrassed by being an ill-equipped host, so he helped supply his neighbor. 

Give us each day our daily bread” (Luke 11:3) hallows God as our Father. Our Father is the Bread Supplier and He never wants His children forsaken or embarrassed—

I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. (Psalm 37:25) 

The conclusion to the instructions Jesus gives us about prayer are continual asking, persistent seeking, and audacious knocking! P.U.S.H. = pray until something happens! 

“Our giving depends much on the state of our minds at the moment. When depressed, we have no pleasure in giving; we either refuse, or we give merely to get quit of the applicant. Darkness of mind shrivels us up, makes us selfish, neglectful of others. When full of joy, giving seems our element—our joy overflows in this way; we cannot help giving; we delight in applications; we seek opportunities of giving. So with the blessed God. Being altogether happy, His delight is to give; His perfect blessedness flows out in giving. We can never come wrongly to such an infinitely happy Being.” —Horatius Bonar 

Our importunate requests are opportunities for God to show His unequaled supply to others—to exalt His name. For that request, God will “get up and give you as much as you need” (Luke 11:8). 

We are to keep on PUSHing for our Father’s “yes.” 

Check out all of the other messages in this prayer series by clicking here. 

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Lessons From The Playground

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.

Some time on the playground with some little kids taught me some great lessons about leadership.

The Scriptures I mentioned in this episode—1 Corinthians 1:14-17; 1 Corinthians 11:1; 1 Corinthians 2:4-5; 1 Thessalonians 2:4; Matthew 20:28; Mark 10:45.

Please check out the full post from T.M. Moore here, but these are the three criterion he gives us to consider:

First, they teach the Word of God faithfully (Hebrews 13:7). They aren’t trying to impress anyone with how clever, witty, or visionary they are personally. Their desire is that the Word of Christ might dwell in people richly, and all their teaching is based on that holy and inspired Word (Colossians 3:16).

“Second, their lives exemplify the things they teach (Hebrews 13:7). True leaders are people whom, as you follow them, you begin to become like in ways that reflect full faith in Jesus Christ (John 13:1-15). 

“Third, true leaders care for our souls (Hebrews 13:17; 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13). They are interested in us, want to get to know us, do everything they can to serve and build us up; and they will go the extra mile when necessary to help us become people of full faith in Jesus.”

(Check out all of the biblical references in T.M. Moore’s quote here.)

A mark of a godly leader is one who is NOT trying to grow a personal following.

This is part 81 in my series on godly leadership. You can check out all of my posts in this series by clicking here.

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Prayer That Opens Our Eyes

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Charles Spurgeon said, “We too often rush into the presence of God without forethought or humility. We are like people who present themselves before a king without a petition, and what wonder is it that we often miss the end of prayer?” I hope you are starting to…

Spurgeon also asked an important question: “Do we not miss very much of the sweetness and efficacy of prayer by a want of careful meditation before it, and hopeful expectation after it?” 

We talked about competing priorities, but also how Jesus made prayer the priority for His life. This means that some things we call important may have to temporarily be set aside. 

(Check out all of the Scriptures in this post by clicking here.)

Let’s look at the example of Jesus. He prioritized prayer over:

  1. Training. In Luke 5:16 and 9:18 we see Jesus praying in private even though His disciples were right there with Him. This was so revolutionary to the disciples that it prompted them to ask Jesus how they could pray like He did (Luke 11:1-13). 
  1. Sleep. Mark 1:32-35 tells us Jesus was up after sunset ministering to the needs of people, and that He was up and praying while it was still dark. And Luke 6:12 tells us Jesus spent the whole night in prayer before making a big decision. 
  1. Strategizing. The big decision Jesus had to make was choosing the twelve men who would be His apostles—the ones He would spend the most time training and preparing. He didn’t hold strategizing sessions or interviews with the perspective candidates, but He spent the night praying for wisdom (Luke 6:12-13). 
  1. Ministering. People were looking for Jesus, but He guarded His prayer time so the Holy Spirit could guide Him into His ministry time (Mark 1:37). 

Why did He treat prayer this way? Because He knew that God knows our day better than we do. He knows the people will encounter, the conversations that we need to have, the decisions that await us. So we must prayerfully entrust our days to Him (Proverbs 16:9, 3:5-6). 

Remember that Spurgeon said “careful meditation” before prayer and then “hopeful expectation after it.” This is exactly what David said in Psalm 5:1-3 where he was expectant of God’s answers throughout the day.

We see this example throughout the Bible, but let me give you three quick examples: 

  • Hagar’s eyes were opened to see the supply of water that was already there (Genesis 21:14-19) 
  • Eliezer had success in finding a wife for Isaac by seeing a woman that was already at the well (Genesis 24:7, 12-15, 21, 27) 
  • Nehemiah prayed for 4 months so he could pray in the moment that the king asked him what he needed to be successful (Nehemiah 1:4, 11; 2:1-4, 8) 

I think this is what Paul meant when he told us to “pray continually “ (1 Thessalonians 5:17). 

Jesus could announce that everything He did (John 5:19) and everything He said (John 12:49) was directed by the Father. 

We can live like this too, if we will only make prayer the priority that sets the order for any other thing that we call a priority. Missionary Hudson Taylor said, “Do not have your concert first, and then tune your instrument afterwards. Begin the day with the Word of God and prayer, and get first of all into harmony with Him.”

If you have missed any of the messages in our series called Our Prayer Book, you can find them all by clicking here.

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The Benefits Of The Right Kind Of Pastoral Stress

I was very honored to be asked to share these thoughts on KarlVaters.com. I was able to interview Karl about his latest book De-Sizing The Church.

(Photo by Official Presidio of Monterey | Flickr)

Jesus was “made like His brothers in every way” (Hebrews 2:17), which means He was not immune to the ravages of stress, yet He never let that stress overwhelm Him.

No one wants more stress. But attempting to avoid all stress can carry negative results that we seldom take into account.

In this guest article, Craig T. Owens (whom I interviewed in The Church Lobby, Episodes 43 and 82 ) writes about how managing the right type of stress (called eustress) can be a benefit, especially in positions of responsibility, like pastoring.

— Karl Vaters

As a pastor, I’m sure your life is practically stress-free. I mean, what do we have to do with our days except commune with God in our quiet study time, and then descend from the mountain to share the words God has given us? Then we can bask in the approval of our congregations as we watch them seamlessly integrate our sermons into their daily lives.

What’s that you’re saying? It’s not like that for you?

Anyone who has been a pastor for any length of time knows how demanding a job it is to be a shepherd of the flock God has placed under our care. And then frequently our shepherding work becomes even more challenging when we have to attend to the needs of obstinate sheep, or heal from the bites of angry sheep.

At times, we may dream about a more stress-free pasture.

But we actually do ourselves, our flock, and the world around us a huge disservice if we are striving for a stress-free life.

The Power To Persevere

First, I don’t think that is even possible. Adam and Eve in the perfection of the Garden of Eden faced a stressful decision. And Jesus, the Perfect Man, was constantly dealing with the stressors that pushed in on Him.

But more importantly, stress is vital for our healthy growth. Recent studies have shown that moderate levels of stress keep our brain sharp. In fact, the study went on to state that a brain that is striving for zero stress (if that’s even possible) begins to become less adept at problem solving. In our attempts to totally eliminate stress, we are actually squeezing out our ability to adapt, overcome, and soar when we face future problems.

In this case, I am talking about the healthy stress that doctors call eustress. Whenever we face a challenge, our body releases a hormone called cortisol that prepares our mind and body for action. In other words, God designed a way for us to be successful in stressful times.

Eustress is the push against the forces that would ultimately pull down our physical health, our relationships, our mental health, and a host of other things if we simply opt to “go with the flow.”

I read this in a recent article from an organization called Fight The New Drug:

“In a world that often sells ways to avoid stress, it’s crucial to remember that stress can be healthy in moderation. Stress and anxiety can trigger neural and chemical processes in your body designed to help you respond to challenges. Stress researcher Daniela Kaufer explains that ‘some amounts of stress are good to push you to the level of optimal alertness for behavioral and cognitive performance.’ Her research on stress in rats has even demonstrated that intermittent stressful events can create new brain cells in the rats that actually improve their future mental performances.”

I love how modern-day psychology validates what the Bible has already told us! The Bible makes it clear that persevering through the stressors that come against us can make us stronger, healthier, and better equipped for the next challenge. We are also fortified to help others through their times of stress (James 1:2-4; Romans 5:3-5; 2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

(Check out all of the Scriptures in this article by clicking here.)

The Greek word in the Bible translated “persevere” means keeping focused on the goal despite the struggles that it takes to get there. Jesus used this same Greek word at the conclusion of His parable of the sower: “The seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the Word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop,” a crop that Jesus said was a hundred times more than what was sown (see Luke 8:5–15).

The Holy Spirit will push us further than we think we can go to develop the spiritual muscles and endurance we need to shepherd the sheep under our care during their trying times. He knows that persevering produces a huge crop.

Easy Roads Teach Few Lessons

I love riding my bike on the White Pine Trail by my house. My long rides have a really fun stretch where I am flying downhill! But as fun and stress-free as that part is, I’m not really building anything of lasting value. However, when I am coming back uphill and I want to quit because my legs are burning and I can hardly breathe, that becomes a valuable struggle.

I cannot build endurance by any other way than to persevere, to push myself just a little bit more each time. When I want to quit, I pedal just a few more feet. Gradually, the uphill becomes less daunting.

A friend gave me a t-shirt that I like to wear on my rides. When I put the shirt on, the blue-lettered message says, “Do It!” but as I struggle uphill and the sweat begins to pour off my body and drench my shirt, a new message emerges: “Don’t Quit!”

I have learned that easy roads teach very few valuable lessons. But persevering through the stressors not only strengthens me, but it builds an empathy for others that I would have otherwise missed.

The poet Epictetus noted this about the mighty Hercules:

“What would have become of Hercules do you think if there had been no lion, hydra, stag or boar—and no savage criminals to rid the world of? What would he have done in the absence of such challenges?

“Obviously he would have just rolled over in bed and gone back to sleep. So by snoring his life away in luxury and comfort he never would have developed into the mighty Hercules.

“And even if he had, what good would it have done him? What would have been the use of those arms, that physique, and that noble soul, without crises or conditions to stir into him action?”

—Epictetus, The Discourses

So the next time you are thinking about avoiding something that causes stress in your life, why don’t you reframe that thought. Instead, think about how you can become stronger, healthier, and more empathetic toward others because you are committed to successfully navigating that stressful situation.

Don’t ask God to get you out of that stressful situation, but ask Him to help you get something out of that stressful situation.

Eustress, Not Distress

Please notice that I have been talking about the good stress (eustress), but there is also a dangerous stress which doctors call distress. If we are trying to overcome a challenge in our own strength alone, instead of relying on God’s supernatural help, or if we are allowing stress to keep us from our healthy habits, eustress can disintegrate into distress.

The stress hormone cortisol is naturally flushed from the body in two ways: physical exercise and proper sleep. Isn’t it interesting that when we are experiencing higher than usual amounts of stress that two of the areas that seem to disappear from our lives are time for exercise and nights with solid, uninterrupted sleep?

When we allow eustress to become distress, everything suffers. Our physical health is compromised, we have an increasingly difficult time coming up with creative solutions, our patience with difficult people is strained, and we find ourselves fighting irritability.

How Jesus Did It

Earlier I mentioned the stressors that Jesus faced, but notice that we never see Him responding inappropriately, acting in an unhealthy way, or “stressed out” by the needs of the sheep around Him. Keep in mind that Jesus was “made like His brothers in every way” (Hebrews 2:17), which means He was not immune to the ravages of stress, yet He never let that stress overwhelm Him. He never even allowed eustress to cross the line into distress.

How did Jesus keep stress in balance? I see so many healthy habits in His life. For instance, I see not only the regular habit of prayer to start His day (Mark 1:35), but I see Him withdrawing for a time of prayer or even a nap when He completed a stressful time of ministry (Luke 5:16).

Jesus encouraged His disciples in this as well. The disciples were excited to tell Jesus about their latest ministry but the activity around Jesus was so hectic that they couldn’t even find time to get a bite to eat, let alone take a deep breath to recover from their ministry. “Come with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest,” Jesus told them. And then “they went away by themselves to a solitary place” (Mark 6:30-32).

To keep yourself from becoming distressed, be deliberate about maintaining your healthy habits during your times of eustress. Eat healthy, get proper exercise, get a good night’s sleep, spend extra time in your Bible study and prayer time, and schedule time with healthy friends. All of these things will help you leverage all of the benefits of eustress, making you a stronger, more consistent and empathetic leader.

3 Hindrances To Prayer

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.  I am sometimes amazed at how much Jesus accomplished in just a little over three years of public ministry. What I would have expected to see is a Man burning the candle at both ends—up early, working hard without any breaks each day, very little (if any) leisure time, and then burning the midnight oil.  But instead we see Jesus never seeming to be rushed or exhausted. He takes time for meals with friends, time away from the crowds, and still in just a short period of time He fulfilled hundreds of ancient prophecies and trained His followers to take the Gospel around the globe!  One of the keys is His priority. Notice that I said priority and not prioritieS. Jesus was singularly focused on His Father’s glory and He showed total dependence on Him. I think one of the most telling verses is Mark 1:35: “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed.”  If Jesus needed prayer to start His day, how much more do we need this!  Scottish pastor Robert Murray McCheyne wrote in his journal, “Rose early to seek God, and found Him whom my soul loveth. Who would not rise early to meet such company?” 

(Check out all of the Scriptures in this post by clicking here.) 

So why don’t we treat prayer like this? I think there are three main hindrances to keep us from making prayer a priority.  (1) Self-reliance. A common phrase we use is, “I need to get to work.” But this puts the emphasis on me—my plans, my abilities, my work ethic. I believe I can do more than pray, but I also believe that I shouldn’t do anything until I have prayed.  Prayer, therefore, is a reminder of my utter God-reliance.  God has a better plan than we do. God has more wisdom than we do. God has more strength than we do. So wouldn’t it be better to ask Him what we should be doing, how we should be doing it, and then ask Him for the strength to do it?  When we have this focus, our prayer time will keep us aligned with His plans and empowered with His wisdom and strength. Look at a couple of examples.
  • Sarah knew how to believe God because He showed how He kept His promise in His perfect timing (Genesis 21:1-2). 
  • Mary knew how to pray and behave in alignment with God’s word (Luke 1:31-38). Her prayer shortly after this is sautéed in Scripture, showing how she relied on God to keep His Word (vv. 46-55). 
  • Saul of Tarsus (who became Paul the apostle) had assurances of God’s direction for his life at almost every turn (Acts 9:15-16, 20:22-24, 21:10-14, 23:11, 27:21-25). Then he writes to his friends at Philippi how God received the glory throughout this whole process (Philippians 1:12-14, 25-26). 
We can live and pray with the same assurance that God is completely in control (Isaiah 55:8-11; Romans 8:26-28).   (2) Distractions. When Martin Luther was asked about his plans for the next day he said, “I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.” That sounds unrealistic to most of us, but that is because we call too many things “priorities.” We need a singular priority: The knowledge of God’s will and the help that only God can give.  Stephen Covey has a very helpful tool that I use regularly: the urgent/important grid. Bible reading and prayer time is most decidedly a Quadrant II activity. We make time for these important activities by removing unimportant activities from Quadrant IV. The Bible frequently couples a “take off” with a “put on” (see 1 Corinthians 13:11; 2 Timothy 2:4; Ephesians 6:11-18), which should prompt us to ask, “What’s one thing I can take off of my Quadrant IV and put on that time for prayer in Quadrant II?”  (3) Uncertainty. Sometimes we may wonder if our prayers are doing anything. Maybe we think we are not praying the “right way” or perhaps we wonder if we are praying for something in alignment with God’s will or only our own selfishness.  The only two things Jesus said were the “wrong ways” to pray were praying to show off, and babbling like pagans (Matthew 6:5-8). As we read in Romans 8, the Holy Spirit will help us pray, if we will let Him.  One way we pray in alignment with God’s will is to pray using the Scripture. The Bible is our Prayer Book. Pastor Timothy Keller wrote, “Your prayer must be firmly connected to and grounded in your reading of the Word. This wedding of Bible and prayer anchors your life down in the real God. … Without immersion in God’s words, our prayers may not be merely limited and shallow but also untethered from reality.”  So here are three steps we need to implement to counteract those three hindrances to a consistent, meaningful prayer life: 
  1. Listen to yourself pray—replace the “I have to” with “God, I trust You to direct me and help me.” 
  2. Track your time in each quadrant and identify just one Quadrant IV activity you can replace with prayer. 
  3. Start turning Scripture into prayers. 
I will be elaborating more on the idea of using the words of the Bible to form on our prayers as we continue our series Our Prayer Book.  ►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎