Should We Listen To Critics?

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Do you know this pair of cantankerous men from the Muppets? Statler and Waldorf sit in the balcony of the theatre and criticize everything that is happening on the stage. I mean everything! They have a good laugh at their barbs, but no one on the stage seems to find it humorous. 

Have you ever met people like this? How do you typically respond to their criticism? 

Unfortunately, those who are trying to do the right thing are often the targets of almost constant criticism. Abraham Lincoln said, “If I were to attempt to answer all the criticisms and complaints I receive, I would have no time for any other business.” 

President Lincoln was a great leader but he wasn’t without fault, so to certain extent we could expect a little bit of criticism from people who didn’t like his policies. But what about Jesus? It was prophesied about Him that He would be the target of criticism (Isaiah 53:3). 

(Check out all of the Scriptures in this post by clicking here.) 

Those out to get Jesus even criticized those who attended to Him. In Mark 14:1-5, they are criticizing a woman who poured perfume on Jesus out of her sincere desire to honor Him. Yet they spoke about her and her actions “indignantly” (v. 4), and they rebuked and criticized her (v. 5). The Greek word in this verse literally means he snorting of horses! 

Jesus stepped in to protect this God-fearing woman, “Why are you bothering her? Why are you criticizing this beautiful thing she had done for Me?” 

Notice that Jesus responded to the critics, but the woman did not respond. Does that mean that we never answer critics? Are we supposed to ignore them? 

First, let’s go back in time to the origin of the words critic and criticism. These words originally meant someone capable of giving a meaningful—perhaps even constructive or helpful—judgment. Think of a trained and skilled chef critiquing your recipe, as opposed to someone who cannot tell the difference between nutmeg and ginger. 

The natural response is to ignore all criticism. The supernatural response is prayerfully evaluate criticism. Solomon says there is such a thing as valid criticism (Proverbs 25:12). 

So who is a valid critic? 

(1) Someone who loves me (Proverbs 27:17; Ephesians 4:15). Paul loved Peter and respected his leadership role in the church, but he still criticized Peter when he messed up (Galatians 2:9, 11).  

(2) Someone who has experience or godly wisdom that we don’t yet have (Ecclesiastes 7:5). Micaiah had a word from God, even though King Ahab thought Micaiah simply didn’t like him (1 Kings 22:1-18). 

(3) Someone who wants to hurt me. Really!? Dick Brogden wrote, “The Lord uses critics to show us our own hearts, even if what they say is not fully true, informed, or even fair. There is almost always a germ of truth in what our critics (in their own pain and disappointment) shout at us. The wise [person] will humble himself and look for the truth embedded in every oppositional interaction.” As we saw previously from Psalm 26:2, when we hear words of criticism, we need to make it a matter of prayer. 

Jesus told the woman’s critics to “leave her alone” but He never defended Himself against the childish barbs (Isaiah 53:7; Matthew 27:13-14). I think we would do well to follow His example. So when criticized, take a deep breath, smile, hear them out, ask clarifying questions, and then say, “Thank you for sharing that with me. I’ll make this a matter of prayer.” 

They might accuse you, but you should turn it over to God (Psalm 109:4). 

The natural response is to respond all critics. The supernatural response is to respond like Jesus (see 1 Peter 2:21-23). 

Remember that quote from Abraham Lincoln we saw earlier? Here’s the rest of his quote—

“From day to day I do the best I can and will continue to do so till the end. If in the end I come out all right, then the complaints and criticisms and what is said against me will make no difference. But, if the end brings me out wrong, then ten angels coming down from heaven to swear I was right would still make no difference.” 

Ultimately, we are longing to hear Jesus say, “Well done.” If He cannot say that to us, does it really matter if everyone else praised us? But if Jesus says, “Well cone,” does it really matter the criticism others said about us? 

Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us respond supernaturally to our critics—listen prayerfully to ever critic, but only respond to them as Jesus did. 

If you have missed any of the other messages in this series When Sheep Bite Sheep, you can find them all here. And if you’re a pastor, be sure to check out my book When Sheep Bite. 

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Can Criticism Ever Be A Good Thing?

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Don’t be too quick on this one: I’m wondering if criticism can ever be a good thing?  

Check out this episode of The Podcast. 

The Scriptures that I reference in this video are found in Acts 10-11 

I mentioned my blog post where I talk more about Peter’s rooftop vision and how we went from confused to enlightened. The post is Clearing Up the Confusion.

In the chapter on the bite of criticism, I wrote this—

     Treating our critic as an opponent we have to defeat is sure to injure them and provide an opening for the enemy of our souls to pounce. Perhaps instead we should consider these wise words from A.W. Tozer: “Never be afraid of honest criticism. If the critic is wrong, you can help him; and if you’re wrong, he can help you. Either way, somebody’s helped.” 

     On the other hand, if you come into your meeting with a critic with a humble, willing-to-learn attitude, you will immediately soften the mood in the room. This kind of quietness keeps tempers from flaring (Proverbs 15:1). 

     See beyond the criticism to the critic. … Keep reminding yourself that this is a person to be loved, not an argument to be dismantled. 

Get more information on When Sheep Bite here. 

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Critics Can Be Gifts To Us

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I’m going to guess that I’m not alone in this: I don’t like when people criticize me. 

Especially when I’m in a leadership position, trying my best to make good decision for the entire organization, and someone comes up to me to criticize my decision-making abilities or my skill at carrying out my decisions. 

The easiest thing to do is simply dismiss their biting remarks. We can so easily say, “They have no idea what they’re talking about so I can ignore everything they’ve said to me.” 

Criticism is one of the most common bites that sheep dispense to those who are trying to shepherd them. 

But before we simply dismiss them, let me ask you to consider this: 

  • Is it possible that God is using these critics to get your attention? 
  • Is it possible that you have a flaw in a blind spot, and this critic is showing you something that you’ve been missing? 

If you can answer, “Yes” to even one of those questions, then you can also say that your critic is a God-sent gift for you to improve your leadership capacity. 

I discussed this recently on the Fellowship of Ailbe podcast.

The full quote from Dick Brogden’s book Proverbs: Amplified and Applied says: “Critics and skeptics are gifts to us, for in their aspersions they often bring to light a brokenness or a liability early on in its development in us. If we are secure enough to ferret out the truth through the condemnation of others, we remain healthy in the long term as our malady is exposed and dealt with before it becomes too serious.” 

This means that criticism should lead us to a time of honest introspection.

In the chapter “Is God Trying to Get My Attention?” in my book When Sheep Bite, I wrote—

      Remember that we are naturally self-protective, so this time of introspection will need to be supernaturally empowered by the Holy Spirit if we are going to see the true prompter of the attack. A prayer I have prayed more times than I can count is, “Search me thoroughly, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24 AMPC). 

      It is only this humble reflection that can turn an experience into a lesson. If I immediately lash out at the sheep who hurt me, I may drive that sheep away from me but I won’t necessarily have learned a lesson. The one who bit me may have left my pasture, but perhaps they will never join any other pasture but may wander in the wilderness for the rest of their life. If I slow down to respond, it’s quite possible that both these biting sheep and I can grow through this valuable lesson. 

Let’e reframe the way we think about critics and their criticism. Before we simply dismiss it, let’s prayerfully consider if there is a lesson that God is trying to teach to us through this critic. 

You can check out the full conversation I had on the Ailbe podcast here. 

You can order a copy of When Sheep Bite here.

And you may be interested in two related blog posts: 20 helpful thoughts on criticism and What is valid criticism?

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A Christlike Response To Skeptics

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God is precise in His promise making and promise keeping. He doesn’t just fulfill promises in a vague way or in “the spirit of the law,” but He attends to the jots and tittles of every single detail.  

Last week we saw the example of Jesus going into a dark place to bring the light of hope. It’s the same for us: God uses circumstances to direct our steps into dark places because people need to see the light. 

But people living in darkness sometimes don’t like the light. 

When we feel like our message of hope is being ignored or rejected (or we’re even being persecuted for sharing the truth) we have a natural emotional response that begins to bubble up. That emotion is anger. How do I know this? Because Jesus experienced this too. 

We can do two things with our anger: 

  1. We can blast skeptics with righteous judgment <or> 
  2. We can follow the example of Jesus  

In The Pilgrim’s Progress, Faithful told how a man came and beat him because he had broken the law. Even when Faithful begged for mercy the man said, “I don’t know how to show mercy to anyone.” This man was Moses the Lawgiver. Faithful explained what finally gave him relief: “He would have finished me off, but then One came by, and told Him to stop. I did not know Him at first, but as He went by, I saw the holes in His hands and in His side and I concluded that He was Jesus.” 

Moses had every right to be angry, and he expressed it a way that tried to finish off Faithful. 

Jesus also got angry, but let’s see what He did with it. 

(Check out all of the Scriptures I list below by clicking here.)

In Matthew 12:9-10 we see the motive of the skeptics: catch Jesus doing something wrong. This opposition came from the religionists—they weren’t interested in the truth, they were interested in proving themselves right and righteous. 

As they are asking their entrapping question, Luke tells us that “Jesus knew what they were thinking” (Luke 6:8). And Mark tells us that Jesus then asked a question of His own (Mark 3:4-5). These religionists refused to answer His question, and their stubborn hearts made Jesus deeply angry! 

So Jesus answered His own question, concluding that the Sabbath was the day that god intended for healing and helping. To prove this point, Jesus then healed the shriveled hand of the man who stood before Him (Matthew 12:11-14). In response to this, the Pharisees plotted with the Herodians on how to kill Jesus (Mark 3:6). 

Matthew then writes, “Aware of this, Jesus withdrew from that place (Matthew 12:15). He didn’t withdraw in fear, but in complete awareness of His Father’s plan. Part of that plan was not for Jesus to win argument, but for Him to win souls. 

Perhaps in His anger in the moment, Jesus would have spoken words that were too harsh. There is a time to speak, but it’s usually not in the heat of the moment. In fact, Laurence J. Peter rightly said, “Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” 

So in fulfillment of another prophetic word given in Isaiah 42, Jesus withdrew to continue His teaching and healing ministry (Matthew 12:17-21). 

What does this mean for us today? I think we can see five important responses in these prophetic words: 

  1. I am to serve others as Jesus did—even those who want to silence me.  
  2. I can let the Holy Spirit use this opposition to bring greater fruitfulness out of my life (Galatians 5:19-26).  
  3. I don’t need to win an argument with skeptics. 
  4. I can be a peacemaker that points people to the Prince of Peace (1 Peter 2:8-12). 
  5. I should live in the assurance of ultimate victory, just as Jesus did (1 Peter 2:23).  

God gets the final word, the decisive word, and the best word, so I don’t have to try to win arguments with skeptics. Like Jesus, I can love and serve in a way that leaves them an unmistakable testimony. 

To check out the other messages in this series called Jots and Tittles: Why it matters that God is in the smallest of details, please click here. 

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Gratitude Is A Medicine

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Gratitude is our shield against the negativity, and gratitude is also our sword against the ambushers. But using these pieces of our armor is exhausting, which means we also need a way to recover from the attacks of negativity. 

Jesus began His public ministry with a sermon that prompted Luke to record that “everyone spoke well of Him.” But in less than 60 seconds, after Jesus outlined how His ministry would unfold, Jesus is being criticized to the point where those same praising people are now ready to throw Jesus off a cliff (Luke 4:18-29)! 

Elbert Hubbard wrote, “If you have something others don’t, know something others don’t, or do something others aren’t doing, then, rest assured, you will be criticized. … To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing.” 

Even though Hubbard is probably right, Christians don’t have the option to “say nothing, do nothing, be nothing,” because Jesus has called us to go into all the world, preach the Good News, and be salt and light. That means we will be victims of criticism. We can use our shield and sword of gratitude, but we are also going to need some medicine to help us recover too.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is a lie. Words do hurt. 

Jesus told us these stinging words would be thrown at us like sticks and stones in Luke 6:22. When we are criticized, we have to be careful not to get embittered. How does that happen? We are naturally self-protective, so criticized people become critical and cynical unless they can be healed and have joy restored. If we hold on to our hurts, bitterness can fester in our hearts (Hebrews 12:14-15). 

Look at David in Psalm 69. He acknowledged the attacks from his enemies and how it made him feel, but then he applies the healing medicine of gratitude—

But as for me, afflicted and in pain—may Your salvation, God, protect me. I will praise God’s name in song and glorify Him with thanksgiving. (Psalm 69:29-30) 

Our healing is in our thanking! 

Medical research has shown that gratitude improves physical health—it reduces stress and resets the heart’s healthy rhythm. This is just as true spiritually: gratitude is our medicine. 

You may be thinking, “How can I bless critical people? How can I be grateful when I’m surrounded by such hostility?”  

David also wrote Psalm 23 for us. This is the psalm that begins, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.” But notice especially the words of verse 5: “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” 

It is precisely in the presence of enemies that God invites us to abide with Him and to receive His medicine of anointing. But I also see that our Good Shepherd doesn’t just give us adequate blessings, but overflowing blessings—enough for me and more to share with those around me. 

In the New Testament Greek, one word for “bless” is eulogeo which literally means “good words.” Jesus, Paul, and Peter all tell us that when we are victims of the sticks and stones of negative words, we are to respond by saying good words both to God and to those who are hurling evil words at us (Matthew 5:43-44; 1 Corinthians 4:12; 1 Peter 3:9). 

Peter shows us exactly how Jesus did this when He was hanging on the Cross and enduring the sneers, mocking words, and insults from those surrounding Him (1 Peter 2:21-23; Luke 23:35-39). Instead of throwing evil words back at them, Jesus blessed them by saying, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). 

Learn a lesson from our Lord
Often silence cuts like a sword
When we stand upon the Rock
We needn’t bother when fools mock

Bantering with fools just won’t do
Unless you want to be foolish too
To the wisest words they won’t listen
But joy in airing their own opinion

Our Lord knew just what to do
When mockers hurled words untrue
He entrusted things to the King
Who perfectly records everything

Help us follow the example You gave
To not engage with those who rave
May not our hasty words undo

Because we have been forgiven, we can forgive. Because we have been blessed with overflowing blessings, we can bless. Our healing is in our thanking! 

If you’ve missed any of the messages in this series on power of gratitude, you can check them all out by clicking here. 

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The Craig And Greg Show: Neutral Criticism

Listen to the audio-only version of this podcast by clicking on the player below, or scroll down to watch the video.

Criticism is baked into leadership. Any change you make, whether good or bad, will be met with some level of criticism either internally or externally. Other times, you’ll be in the position of having to express criticism of a decision someone on your team made.

Navigating criticism in a productive way can be tricky, but luckily Greg and I are here to help! In this episode, we discuss how the right kind of criticism can be empowering for your organization.

  • [0:27] Leaders will always be criticized, even for the good things they have done. 
  • [1:30] Leaders need both humility and confidence to process criticism in a healthy way.
  • [4:18] Is criticism different than an assessment? It seems like the word “critic” has been hijacked in a negative way.
  • [6:00] Defensiveness doesn’t help leaders, but we do need to protect ourselves.
  • [8:27] How do we give constructive criticism without putting others on the defensive?
  • [10:22] Why is it hard for people to receive criticism?
  • [12:55] How should we give feedback to others so that it will be received well?
  • [16:15] Is there a correlation between criticism and coachability?
  • [19:57] Let’s remember that many of our teammates have had negative interactions with a critical
  • leader, so we have to change the climate.
  • [21:28] What happens if a teammate won’t receive any feedback at all?
  • [23:20] Greg shares an insightful quote from Winston Churchill.
  • [25:26] As always, leaders have to go first!

Check out this episode and subscribe on YouTube so you can watch all of the upcoming episodes. You can also listen to our podcast on Spotify and Apple.

How Should Leaders Handle Pushback?

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Leaders will always get some pushback from the people on their team. It doesn’t matter how much the people love their leader, when the leader shares a change or a correction, there will always be some people that are uncomfortable with that. 

And they will pushback. 

I’ve already shared some thoughts for leaders to make sure the issues they are addressing are biblical issues, not getting caught up in non-biblical controversies that can result in some very unbiblical attitudes! But when a leader is promoting a biblical change, there is a right way to handle it. 

Check out how I discussed this topic with some ministry interns—

I really do like going back to those two verses in Proverbs: 

Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes. (Proverbs 26:4-5)

Make sure you are not arguing just to argue. Good leaders only speak up for the good of the team and the individuals on the team. They never speak up just because they need to prove themselves right or they need to win an argument. 

If you would like to go a little deeper into this, you may want to check out a couple of other posts and videos I’ve shared:

Handling pushback the right way is going to be an important component of your leadership, so take some time to get it right the first time. If I can help coach you through a leadership challenge you are facing, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me. 

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Judging The Right Way

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I have probably heard this verse quoted more by non-Christians than any other verse: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1). 

Does Jesus mean that we can never point out to anyone else an area of concern? No, because Jesus Himself did this as well as nearly every epistle writer of the New Testament. What it does mean is that confrontation needs to be truly corrective and never condemning. 

Correcting means that I am never serving as the judge and jury. But it does mean that I can lovingly help someone before they have to stand before God on Judgment Day. Jesus said that if I am a mean, self-serving judge of others, I can expect to receive that same treatment (v. 2). 

Instead, I need to first recognize that what I may see in another person may only be apparent to me because I am afflicted with the same thing. So my first response when I see “a speck” in someone else’s eye is to ask the Holy Spirit to show me a possible “plank” in my own eye. Only after I have dealt with this through repentance and making appropriate changes, will I have the necessary empathy and gentleness to help my brother or sister deal with their own eye speck (vv. 3-4). 

Jesus said that trying to get someone else to repent of something that still exists in my own life is being a hypocrite. It’s playing a role that isn’t me. So Jesus says “first” deal with my own sin, “then” I may help a brother or sister (v. 5). 

Notice that I have been very careful to use the phrase “brother and sister.” I believe that Christians should deal with fellow Christians, but we shouldn’t try to bring correction to those who don’t come from the same biblical paradigm that we have. In legal terms, I may say that we have no standing, or that non-Christians are out of my jurisdiction. 

One final thought. I think I need to treat a concern that another person brings to me in a very similar fashion as I would treat an eye speck in someone else. Perhaps God sent them to me, so I need to ask the Holy Spirit to show me any “plank” that may be in my eye, even if it has been brought to my attention through a judgmental person. It is very God-honoring for me to give that person the benefit of the doubt by saying that they cared enough for my well-being that they would be willing to point something out to me. 

Correction is an important aspect of Christian maturity. But we need to make sure we do it in a Christlike way.

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How Does One Write A Book?

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At a Q&A event for my my book Shepherd Leadership: The Metrics That Really Matter, I explained how I started writing this book. The bottom line is you learn to write by writing!

Check it out…

In all seriousness, the process of writing goes something this:

  1. Start writing. 
  2. Write something every day. 
  3. Read your work to others who really care about you. 
  4. Be humble enough to accept honest, loving feedback. 
  5. Use that feedback to improve what you have written. 
  6. Go back to step #1. 

Shepherd Leadership: The Metrics That Really Matter is available in print or ebook, and in audiobook through either Audible or Apple.

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Poetry Saturday—Before

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Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give. —William Arthur Ward

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