No one likes to be mistreated—especially when the one that hurts us is one we would have thought of as an ally or even a friend.
These slights become even more painful when they take place inside the Christian community. When sheep bite sheep, our natural response is to lash out to try to even the scales of justice. But the Bible consistently and clearly calls Christians to pursue a supernatural response.
Join me for a highly practical series of messages on how you can respond in a Christ-honoring way when you are bitten by another sheep in God’s pasture.
(By the way, if you are a church leader dealing with biting sheep, my book When Sheep Bite is a great resource for you.)
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
My podcast partner Greg Heeres asked me if I had found one thing that really worked in developing or deepening relationships. My answer is short and to the point.
T.M. is beginning a series on the ministry of the apostle Paul. He writes, “Paul was able to accomplish great things against great odds not because he was such an enthralling preacher (he was not) or had so many resources to invest in his work (he did not), but because he had such great confidence in his message and his Lord.” Check out this series.
As a father, it always got my attention when my kids would remind me, “Dad, you said….” Not that God ever forgets anything He has promised, but when He hears Moses say, “You swore by Your own self and said to them,” He is pleased because this means that Moses is banking his faith on God’s unchangeable word. Let’s follow this example from Moses and use God’s Word to form our prayers to Him.
The ICR reports, “If the earth is 4.6 billion years old, virtually every square inch of the Earth’s surface would experience a host of erosive events.” But the fact that paleontologists have found so many well preserved foot tracks is a testament to both the Creation and Flood accounts recorded in biblical history.
“When ‘Aunt’ Fanny Lack, a 100-year-old Hoopa Indian woman, accepted Christ and was healed in 1920, she became a local sensation on the Hoopa Indian Reservation in northern California.” This is an amazing story!
“When you hate, the only person that is suffering is you because most of the people you hate don’t know it and the rest don’t care.” —Medgar Evers
Axis’ Culture Translator reported, “A study from World found that 26% of respondents admitted to flirting with a chatbot or AI, either for fun or unknowingly.” I love Axis’ conclusion: “Although social media was initially pitched as a supplement to real-life social interactions, the slope from supplement to replacement is steep. This Valentine’s Day, remind your teens that although real-life relationships can be difficult, we need both the affirmation and pushback that comes with them.”
Greg Morse shares the very real danger of shepherding God’s flock. He writes, “I enlisted to teach, preach, shepherd, and guide—but also to suffer, defend, and die, if the Lord should choose. As a son with his mother, a husband with his wife, a father with his children, so a pastor with his sheep. I am to defend them against all enemies foreign and domestic—spiritual and physical.” Pastors, I encourage you to read this article.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
In today’s episode, Greg and I discuss what it means to be a healthy leader. We break down the various facets of leadership health, and highlight why each piece is part of an essential structure that supports all of the other parts. This was a very important part in my book Shepherd Leadership.
[0:12] Greg and I are looking dapper today!
[1:26] We have both gone through the process of writing books.
[2:30] I reveal the section of my book Shepherd Leadership that has gotten the most attention.
[6:01] I highlight the development of Jesus as recorded in the Gospel of Luke.
[8:40] All aspects of health are important because they support each other.
[10:06] What happens when we get bumped?
[12:25] How do we maintain healthy relationships?
[15:11] Investing time into yourself gives you a greater capacity to serve others.
[16:50] What signs should we watch for that tell us a relationship is strained?
[17:52] Leaders should empower others to solve problems instead of always solving them on their own.
[18:54] It’s easier to avoid relational health in the short-term, but it will hurt you down the road.
[21:28] What’s the best way to improve a relationship?
[22:55] If we have a desire to improve a relationship, how can we get the other person to reciprocate?
[25:40] What was my “aha” moment when writing Shepherd Leadership?
[27:11] Maximize Leadership is a great coaching resource for you.
Check out this episode and subscribe on YouTube so you can watch all of the upcoming episodes. You can also listen to our podcast on Spotify and Apple.
For though I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it—for I see that that letter caused you sorrow, though only for a while—I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. (2 Corinthians 7:8-10 NASB)
Is it okay for you to hurt your friend’s feelings?
I think it is acceptable if those painful words save your friend from a world of hurt.
We must not hold back from speaking a painful truth, but if we do have to share that word, we must ensure that we are speaking that truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Remember that people don’t care what you know until they know that you care. The goal of truth-telling is not to hurt a friend’s feelings, but to spare that friend a greater pain or to see that friend get stronger.
If you have to speak these words, be sure to water your lovingly truthful words in tears before you share them. As Jesus said, “Remove the plank in your own eye first” (Matthew 7:5).
If you are on the receiving end of painful words, ask yourself, “Is this a friend who loves me and wants the best for me? If so, is there truth in these words?” Even if the words were delivered clumsily, see the love behind the words and find the truth that can help you make a change for the better (Proverbs 27:6, 17).
To dive a little deeper into this topic, check out my video on The Podcast called Speak the truth in love.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Jesus not only gave us an example of well-rounded, healthy growth, but He also gave us a barometer of measuring just how healthy we truly are.
I talk about this pyramid of healthiness in Chapter 8 of Shepherd Leadership, but the example we really see of Jesus at the pinnacle of spiritual health is in Chapter 12. Here’s an excerpt—
Friends, the mark of a maturing shepherd is not one who never misspeaks or never makes a mistake. No, the mark of a maturing shepherd is the one who is closing the gap between his mess up and his confession, and one who is experiencing fewer mess ups over time because the Holy Spirit is helping him get healthier and more mature.
The pinnacle of a shepherd leader’s health is not how wise you are, nor how physically healthy, nor even how much spiritual insight you have gained, but it is how appropriately God-honoring your actions and reactions are among the sheep you pasture.
If you see or hear something from yourself that is not reflective of your Chief Shepherd, it’s how you handle your next response that reveals how close you are getting to the pinnacle of health that Jesus demonstrated for you.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Let me remind you of something I covered last week:
If we start out thankful but then forget about our blessings, we become fearful and selfish, which makes us susceptible to the sin of grumbling against God.
But if we start our thankful and then continually remember all that God has done for us, we remain joyful and secure, which fortifies us against giving in to the sin of grumbling against God.
As I have shared with you during this series, medical science has discovered so many connections between gratitude and wellbeing—mentally, physically, emotionally, and relationally. Here’s another important finding from medical science: Chronic stress impairs memory formation.
Remember this insight from George Santayana: “Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it”?
But what if we cannot learn the lessons from history because we cannot remember and recall those lessons? That’s one of the ways chronic stress ravages our ability to be grateful. Stress literally clogs up the amygdala in our brain so that these lessons cannot be filed away for future use.
Where does this chronic stress come from? Stress can be a good thing—think of the stress we put on our lungs, heart, and muscles when we exercise. That good stress (eustress) prepares us to respond well in difficult situations.
But chronic stress is unhealthy. It begins to make us withdraw into ourselves. We become self-protective. We start to see potential problems even behind blessings.
Self-protective becomes self-focused, which is the exact opposite of the God-focus we looked at last week in Psalm 103:2. This also makes us want to isolate from people (see Psalm 42:1-4, especially the “used to” in v. 4).
Consider the example of David’s life. David is in a stressful state where I am sure it is becoming increasingly difficult for him to find praiseworthy things. He is becoming more and more self-protective and therefore self-focused.
Saul tries to kill him—1 Samuel 20:28-33
The Philistines have him trapped—21:10-13; Psalm 56
The people of Keilah reward David’s help with betrayal—23:10-12
David is in a desert place (literally!) and sold-out by the Ziphites—23:14, 19-20
Psalm 54 is written when David learns about the Ziphites’ plan. He begins to pour out his complaint to God in vv. 1-3, but then there is a totally different tone in vv. 4-7. What comes between is the word Selah—a pause to consider.
I believe at this time is when Jonathan shows up to encourages David—And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God (1 Samuel 23:16).
David learned this lesson well because when he’s in another tight spot, we read that David found strength in the Lord his God, which allowed him to encourage his distraught men to seek God’s help. It was with God’s help that they recovered everything single thing that had been taken from them (1 Samuel 30:1-18)!
Your gratitude fortifies you and helps you encourage other saints. As you encourage other saints, they will then be fortified to help other saints—maybe even you!
I like how Eugene Peterson paraphrases 1 Thessalonians 5:11 in The Message: “So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it.”
Your gratitude could make all the difference in someone else’s life, so “just keep on doing it”!
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Do you remember this song: “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands”? It goes on to say, “If you’re happy and you know, then your life will surely show it….” Frankly, I’m concerned about Christians that are unhappy.
Charles Spurgeon was talking to his students and he said, “I commend cheerfulness to all who would win souls; not levity and frothiness, but a genial, happy spirit. There are more flies caught with honey than with vinegar, and there will be more souls led to heaven by a man who wears heaven in his face than by one who bears Tartarus in his looks.” Tartarus, in Greek mythology, is a sunless abyss, below Hades, in which Zeus imprisoned the Titans, which is the exact opposite of the Paradise described in the Bible.
Unhappiness generally comes from ingratitude. An unhappy Christian gives God no praise, robs Him of glory, and paints God in a bad light. A happy Christian lifts God high and invites others to know this All-Good, All-Happy God too!
Christians need to fight against the downward pull of negativity in which our culture seems to so easily gravitate. In his letter to the Philippians, the apostle Paul says that a Christian who doesn’t engage in the complaining that the world is known for will shine brightly. Quite simply, thankfulness is the antidote to complaining (Philippians 2:14-18).
Even those who may not recognize the the authority of Scripture have extolled the benefits of gratitude. Psychologists and medical professionals have identified three benefits from a thankful heart:
Physical benefits—stronger immune system, less body aches and pains, regulated blood pressure, a better sleep-wake cycle
Social benefits—better communication with others, increased empathy, increased likability
And Christians can add one more benefit to this list:
Spiritual benefits—more dynamic corporate worship, enchanted Christian testimony, perseverance through trials, fortification against giving in to temptation
The well-known Cleveland Clinic reported that an attitude of gratitude leads to overall wellness. When you are grateful for what you have, it improves your outlook mentally, physically, spiritually, and relationally.
Here are five things you can start doing today that will increase your gratitude levels, enhance your Christian testimony, and generally improve your life:
Switch your perspective. Worry is focusing on what you don’t have. Make the switch to gratitude by giving thanks for what you do have (Matthew 6:25-34).
Strengthen your relationships. It’s fine to weep with those who weep, but let’s encourage others and be encouraged by others so that we can rejoice with those who rejoice (1 Thessalonians 3:6-10),
Foster healthy habits. Dr. Luke gives us the pyramid of health that Jesus demonstrated in Luke 2:52. The pinnacle is strong relationships, and grateful people are more empathetic and likable.
Keep a gratitude journal so that you don’t forget what God has done for you (Psalm 106:7).
Talk about your gratitude. This instills thankfulness in other saints (Isaiah 63:7) and in future generations of your family (Isaiah 46:4), and it becomes a testimony for seekers (1 Peter 3:15).
Let me close with this observation from Blaise Pascal: “There are three kinds of people in the world; those who have sought God and found Him and now serve Him, those who are seeking Him, but have not yet found Him, and those who neither seek Him nor find Him. The first are reasonable and happy, the second reasonable and unhappy, and the third unreasonable and unhappy.”
Reasonable, happy saints are the ones who lift God high and invite others to know this All-Good, All-Happy God too! Not just at the Thanksgiving season, but starting now and then going all year long!
Follow along with all of the messages in this series called Be Thankful by clicking here.
Peter shared the gospel with a group of Gentiles at Cornelius’ house, and not only did they receive Jesus as their Savior, but they were all baptized in the Holy Spirit as well.
A group of Jews approached Peter and were angry with him because of a secondhand report they heard. To their credit, they listened respectfully to Peter’s full account of what happened and ended up changing their minds after they heard the firsthand story.
But Peter began speaking and proceeded to explain to them in orderly sequence…. When they heard this, they quieted down and glorified God, saying, “Well then, God has granted to the Gentiles also the repentance that leads to life.” (Acts 11:4, 18)
There’s a wonderful lesson here for all of us to apply: Verify secondhand reports.
I unpack this more in my book When Sheep Bite in discussing gossip and slander.
Even if the world’s legal system seems unjust, Jesus says by continuing to press our case with the public servants He has put in place, we are really trusting God to bring us His perfect justice. Check out my full sermon on how the Bible from Moses to Jesus explains how to define the legal term, “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.”
I have lots of new content every week, which you can check out on my YouTube channel.
“A significant amount of research and scholarship (both scientific and theological) indicates that a young Earth is the most straightforward, conservative way to interpret God’s Word. … The most unambiguous way to interpret the Bible is according to its grammatical-historical sense, or the intended meaning of the authors. A literal interpretation accounts for all figures of speech in the text, providing the most straightforward method of exegeting Scripture. To this point, when Jesus quoted the Old Testament, it was always clear that He considered its passages as factual and true.” Check out the post Long Ages and the Bible—What’s the Problem?
“Your brain is made up of neurons that communicate with each other through synapses. Delta-FosB is one of the chemicals that creates neural circuits—i.e., ‘pathways’—to help those neurons communicate more quickly and efficiently. … Basically, what you experience as getting better and better at something is your brain ‘rewiring’ itself to become faster and more efficient at sending the same messages between the same neurons.” This works for both healthy and unhealthy activities. In this article from Fight The New Drug, research shows how regular consumption of pornography is hampering your brain’s ability to have normal, healthy relationships.
Dr. Henry Halley, in his Halley’s Study Bible, observed, “Note, too, the unceasing emphasis on the resurrection throughout this book. It was the pivotal point in Peter’s sermon on Pentecost (2:24, 31-32), in his second sermon (3:15), and in his defense before the Sanhedrin (4:2, 10), It was the burden of the apostles’ preaching (4:33). It was Peter’s defense in his second arraignment (5:30). A vision of the risen Christ converted Paul (9:3-6). Peter preached the resurrection to Cornelius (10:40). Paul preached it in Antioch (13:30-37), Thessalonica (17:3), Athens (17:18, 31), and Jerusalem (22:6-11), to Felix (24:15, 21), and to Festus and Agrippa (26:8, 23).” You can check out all of the Scriptures he mentions in this quote here.
Stephen Witmer asks an important question: “Which is closer to the center of your life as a Christian: what you’re doing for God, or what God has already done for you through Jesus Christ? Which one grounds your identity more deeply, affects your mood more frequently, rouses your passions more highly? Your answer to these questions will deeply shape the stability, tenacity, happiness, boldness, and humility of your Christian experience. Jesus wants to provide you grounds for unshakable joy.” Check out this example Witmer shares from an exchange between Jesus and His followers.
“Informing your opinion of the comparative merits of Christian men, never forget the old rule: ‘distinguish between times.’ Place yourself in each man’s position. Do not judge what was a right course of action in other times, by what seems a right course of action in your own.” —J.C. Ryle
God holds human life as precious in His sight. Whenever anyone asks me why I support the sanctity of human life, my answer is simple, “Because God holds it sacred.” Consequently, God punishes those who devalue human life.
My friend, Pastor Tim Dilena, shares a thought about how God often uses people as the answer to our prayers.
No one likes to be mistreated—especially when the one that hurts us is one we would have thought of as an ally or even a friend. 
Craig T. Owens 