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My podcast partner Greg Heeres asked me if I had found one thing that really worked in developing or deepening relationships. My answer is short and to the point.
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If you’re a shepherd leader, what do you do when the sheep under your care go, “Grrrr!”?
To make sure that you haven’t done anything that caused the murmuring, you should humbly pray, “Search me, O God” (Psalm 139:23-24). And then, if you see you have done something wrong, repent and make things right. You may want to check out my blog post A Leader’s Sincere Apology.
After this, Moses has given us in Exodus 16:8-9 two actions to take with murmuring sheep:
If it wasn’t anything that you did, you need to remind yourself that the people are murmuring against God.
If it wasn’t anything that you did, you need to remind the sheep that they are murmuring against God.
My son, be attentive to my Wisdom—godly Wisdom learned by actual and costly experience—and incline your ear to my understanding of what is becoming and prudent for you. (Proverbs 5:1)
A checklist for a good mentor:
✔️they are God-fearing
✔️ they have learned good lessons in bad times
✔️ they are willing to invest in you what they have learned
Happy (blessed, fortunate, enviable) is the man who finds skillful and godly Wisdom, and the man who gets understanding [drawing it forth from God’s Word and life’s experiences]. (Proverbs 3:13 AMPC)
Sir Francis Bacon wrote, “God has, in fact, written two books, not just one. Of course, we are all familiar with the first Book He wrote, namely Scripture. But He has written a second book called creation.”
God’s Word tells us about our life’s experiences, and it tells us about our observations of His creation and our experiences. These observations and experiences should take us back to God’s Book to fully appreciate and apply them in a manner which glories God.
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Charles Spurgeon said, “We too often rush into the presence of God without forethought or humility. We are like people who present themselves before a king without a petition, and what wonder is it that we often miss the end of prayer?” I hope you are starting to…
Spurgeon also asked an important question: “Do we not miss very much of the sweetness and efficacy of prayer by a want of careful meditation before it, and hopeful expectation after it?”
We talked about competing priorities, but also how Jesus made prayer the priority for His life. This means that some things we call important may have to temporarily be set aside.
Let’s look at the example of Jesus. He prioritized prayer over:
Training. In Luke 5:16 and 9:18 we see Jesus praying in private even though His disciples were right there with Him. This was so revolutionary to the disciples that it prompted them to ask Jesus how they could pray like He did (Luke 11:1-13).
Sleep. Mark 1:32-35 tells us Jesus was up after sunset ministering to the needs of people, and that He was up and praying while it was still dark. And Luke 6:12 tells us Jesus spent the whole night in prayer before making a big decision.
Strategizing. The big decision Jesus had to make was choosing the twelve men who would be His apostles—the ones He would spend the most time training and preparing. He didn’t hold strategizing sessions or interviews with the perspective candidates, but He spent the night praying for wisdom (Luke 6:12-13).
Ministering. People were looking for Jesus, but He guarded His prayer time so the Holy Spirit could guide Him into His ministry time (Mark 1:37).
Why did He treat prayer this way? Because He knew that God knows our day better than we do. He knows the people will encounter, the conversations that we need to have, the decisions that await us. So we must prayerfully entrust our days to Him (Proverbs 16:9, 3:5-6).
Remember that Spurgeon said “careful meditation” before prayer and then “hopeful expectation after it.” This is exactly what David said in Psalm 5:1-3 where he was expectant of God’s answers throughout the day.
We see this example throughout the Bible, but let me give you three quick examples:
Hagar’s eyes were opened to see the supply of water that was already there (Genesis 21:14-19)
Eliezer had success in finding a wife for Isaac by seeing a woman that was already at the well (Genesis 24:7, 12-15, 21, 27)
Nehemiah prayed for 4 months so he could pray in the moment that the king asked him what he needed to be successful (Nehemiah 1:4, 11; 2:1-4, 8)
I think this is what Paul meant when he told us to “pray continually “ (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
Jesus could announce that everything He did (John 5:19) and everything He said (John 12:49) was directed by the Father.
We can live like this too, if we will only make prayer the priority that sets the order for any other thing that we call a priority. Missionary Hudson Taylor said, “Do not have your concert first, and then tune your instrument afterwards. Begin the day with the Word of God and prayer, and get first of all into harmony with Him.”
If you have missed any of the messages in our series called Our Prayer Book, you can find them all by clicking here.
For though I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it—for I see that that letter caused you sorrow, though only for a while—I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. (2 Corinthians 7:8-10 NASB)
Is it okay for you to hurt your friend’s feelings?
I think it is acceptable if those painful words save your friend from a world of hurt.
We must not hold back from speaking a painful truth, but if we do have to share that word, we must ensure that we are speaking that truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Remember that people don’t care what you know until they know that you care. The goal of truth-telling is not to hurt a friend’s feelings, but to spare that friend a greater pain or to see that friend get stronger.
If you have to speak these words, be sure to water your lovingly truthful words in tears before you share them. As Jesus said, “Remove the plank in your own eye first” (Matthew 7:5).
If you are on the receiving end of painful words, ask yourself, “Is this a friend who loves me and wants the best for me? If so, is there truth in these words?” Even if the words were delivered clumsily, see the love behind the words and find the truth that can help you make a change for the better (Proverbs 27:6, 17).
To dive a little deeper into this topic, check out my video on The Podcast called Speak the truth in love.
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We’ve now learned about all three circles that help us discover our God-implanted gifts:
Passion—what thrills you?
Pain—what kills you?
Proficiency—what fulfills you?
What do you do with these gifts? What’s the whole purpose in learning about them? I think the goal as saints is to help the Body of Christ mature in ways that brings God glory (Ephesians 4:12-16).
Solomon also gives a great word picture of friends using their gifts for each other—“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (Proverbs 27:17 NLT).
In an earlier message in this series, I talked about the thousands of enzymes in our human bodies. Each enzyme has just one task, and each task is indispensable to the health of the whole body. It is exactly the same in the Body of Christ—your gift-in-action is indispensable to the health of the whole Body.
How do you squander your grace gift? I think these are five basic ways:
Not discovering it—“I have a gift?”
Devaluing it—“My gift is nothing special.”
Overvaluing it—“My gift is super-important.”
Laziness—“My gift is fine just the way it is.”
Selfishness—“My gift is just for me.”
We need to discover our own gifts, but then we need to work on making the switch from “me” to “we.” I want to excel in using my gift so that I can help you excel in using your gift so that we can help another brother or sister excel in using their gift.
Oswald Chambers said, “The Book of God is insistent on this: we cannot develop a holy life alone, it would be a selfish life, without God in it and wrong. … Beware of isolation; beware of the idea that you have to develop a holy life alone. It is impossible to develop a holy life alone, you will develop into an oddity and a peculiarism, into something utterly unlike what God wants you to be. The only way to develop spiritually is to go into the society of God’s own children, and you will soon find how God alters your set.”
Frequently we need another brother or sister in Christ to help nudge us into discovering and using our gifts. For example, look how…
Mordecai assured Esther (Esther 4:13-14)
Matthias was chosen by those in the upper room (Acts 1:21-26)
The first deacons were unanimously chosen by the Church (Acts 6:3-6)
Barnabas and Saul were chosen by the Holy Spirit and confirmed by other prophets and teachers in the church (Acts 13:1-3)
Paul encouraged his proteges to appoint elders who were recognized by others in the church (Titus 1:5; 1 Timothy 3:1f)
Consider this poem—
For want of a horseshoe nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the message was lost.
For want of a message the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.
Listen to the Holy Spirit. Listen to the confirming words from fellow saints—words like “You are gifted,” “You are so good at…,” and “How did you know how to do that?” Then step out of your comfort zone and soar into your gift zone!
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I am a big fan of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). They are founded on biblical principles. I would paraphrase two of the most important ones as: (1) We need a Savior to set us free and (2) We need friends to lean on. James 5:16 says this as succinctly as any verse: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
AA says: “Often times, a person with substance use disorder may have a need for control that can prevent them from achieving peace of mind. They may feel frustrated that they cannot control the actions of other people and turn to substances like alcohol to control their feelings, even though the control that alcohol provides is a farce. The Serenity Prayer is a gentle reminder that letting go and accepting a loss of control can help put an end to the substance abuse cycle.”
In light of our series called Is That in the Bible? let’s ask, is the serenity prayer in the Bible.
No, it’s not, but still there are some very important principles we shouldn’t miss from this prayer.
The full prayer is—
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever and ever in the next. Amen.
Should Christians pray a prayer like this? Biblically, there is nothing wrong with Christians praying prayers that have been written by men or women, provided that they don’t contradict the words God has spoken to us.
Remember James 5:16 that we looked at earlier? The Personalized Promise Bible has a prayer for that verse:
If I have stumbled in any way, I do not need to fret over it—I can rest in full confidence that the Lord loves me and forgives all of my shortcomings. I also know that sin is a hindrance to my healing. Therefore, if there is any sin in my life I repent of it. I confess my sins to trusted brothers and sisters in Christ, gaining strength and praying in agreement with them so that I will be healed.
In a similar fashion, I see several passages of Scripture that are woven into the serenity prayer.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” Proverbs 1:2-3 describes the help God’s wisdom gives us for daily living.
“Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time.” Jesus taught us to pray each day for our daily bread (Matthew 6:8, 11).
“Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.” Jesus also taught us to pray, “Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven” (Matthew 6:10), and He also prayed a very similar prayer Himself when He was in the Garden of Gethsemane, “Yet not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:39).
“Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will.” Jesus promised us both trouble in this world and His overcoming power to stand strong in that trouble (John 16:33).
“That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever and ever in the next. Amen.” Jesus promises eternal rewards that vastly outweigh the trouble we may face in this life (Luke 12:32; Matthew 25:21, 34).
The bottom line: The Bible is not just a Book to read through but a Book to pray through. ALL Scripture is for ALL servants of God. ALL Scripture is applicable to ALL the circumstances we will ever face in life.
If something like the serenity prayer—or any other man-made prayer—is based on Scripture and helps give voice to your prayers, use them! But use them as guides to help you begin to form your own prayers from biblical passages you are reading for yourself.
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We’re up to Psalm 131. After this step, only three more steps to go until we reach the top! We’re almost there. We started in a dark valley surrounded by enemies that wanted to keep us in the valley, but we persevered, we matured, and now the end it almost in sight!
Notice that David wrote this Song of Ascent, and I think he may have had a particular instance from his history in mind when he did.
At the height of David’s success, the Bible says that, “David knew that the LORD had established him as king over Israel and that his kingdom had been highly exalted for the sake of His people Israel” (1 Chronicles 14:2). So David used his position to do something very noble: return the ark of the covenant of the Lord to Jerusalem. This was a popular decision that “seemed right to all the people” (13:3).
But it turned out disastrously!
One of the priests overseeing the transportation of the ark of the covenant was killed, and as a result David became angry at God and fearful of Him.
After a cooling off time, David humbled himself. He admitted that he hadn’t “inquired of the Lord” before undertaking this task and then he looked to the Scriptures to find out how to move the ark the correct way (15:12-15).
It’s quite possible David had this incident in mind when he wrote the Song of Ascent for people coming to worship God in the temple where the ark of the covenant of the Lord would be housed.
The opening words sound the tone of humility—“my heart is not proud” and “my eyes are not haughty.” I think in the context of this opening verse of Psalm 131, pride can be defined as:
trying to handle things on my own
concerning myself with things outside my control
That means that humility is trusting that God is in total control.
Verse 2 starts with an important word: But. Instead of the fretting of pride, David chooses the trusting of childlike humility. David says that he has “stilled and quieted my soul.” He has chosen childlike humility.
This is exactly what Jesus told us: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3-4).
The consistent message throughout Scripture—from Creation in Genesis 1 until the realization of our eternal reward in Heaven in Revelation 22—is childlike trust in our Heavenly Father.
We can trust God to handle…
…every care—1 Peter 5:7
…every step—Proverbs 3:5-6
…every reward—Luke 12:32
Don’t let pride cause you to stumble in the homestretch. The closer we get to the end of the journey, the more childlike we should become.
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Let’s review the historical background for the Psalms of Ascent. The Jewish people made four pilgrimages to Jerusalem each year, which sit about 2500 fee above sea level, so this was a physical climb. But this also has a spiritual lesson for us today: We are to continue progressing in our walk with God—upward and onward!
The songs of ascent that these pilgrims sang give us life-changing lessons that we can still apply today.
I’m sure there were some pilgrims who thought, “We have to go to Jerusalem.” Just as there are some people today who may something like, “I have to tithe.” But when you have experienced the blessing that comes from obedience, your “have to” turns to “get to” really quickly!
There is a longing in Psalm 128 for God’s blessing. In fact, we see it in nearly every verse: blessed (v. 1), blessing and prosperity (v. 2), blessed (v. 4), bless and prosperity (v. 5), and peace (v. 6).
We have to remember that our obedience doesn’t earn God’s blessing, but rather our obedience keeps us in the place where we can receive God’s ever-flowing blessings. When I have experienced the blessing that followed even my “have to” attitude, I now joyfully “get to” obey because I know that keeps me in a blessed place.
But even knowing that these blessings are flowing for us, sometimes we still get weary. Sometimes it seems as if we are being faithful but we aren’t seeing the results that perhaps we saw before.
Think about these pilgrims ascending 2500 feet year after year after year. It was challenging enough during the golden days of King David and King Solomon, but can you imagine the feelings of futility during the dark days? Perhaps during the exile when the temple was in ruins, or after the exile when the temple didn’t look as it did before and there were overlords ruling Israel? And then it was unquestionably true that the older a pilgrim got, the harder the climb became for them.
But the struggle keeps us reliant on God. Like Solomon said, “The way of life winds upward for the wise, that he may turn away from hell below” (Proverbs 15:24). The longer I walk, the more I get to rely on God’s help, and the sweeter He becomes to me!
I love the line in the hymn Great is Thy Faithfulness, “Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow—blessings all mine with ten thousand beside.” Because of God’s blessings that I’ve already experienced, I can trust Him for more, even in the struggle of the climb.
Look at some of these promises that come out in other biblical translations.
Blessedare those who fear God (NIV) = “How joyful are those who fear the Lord” (NLT)
Blessing and prosperity will be yours (NIV) = “You will enjoy the fruit of your labor” (NLT) and “You will eat what you worked so hard to grow” (NET)
The middle of this psalm is in verses 3-4. Remember above when I said nearly every verse contains a word of blessing? I didn’t list verse 3, but there is language in this verse that makes it pregnant with blessing—Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.
You may ask, “How is this a blessing?”
The phrase “under their own vine and under their own fig tree” appears throughout the Old Testament. It described a blessed, prosperous, happy, and peaceful home. It was a home at peace within because there was also peace without.
This described the golden era of King Solomon—During Solomon’s lifetime Judah and Israel, from Dan to Beersheba, lived in safety, everyone under their own vine and under their own fig tree (1 Kings 4:25).
After the northern kingdom of Israel fell and the southern kingdom of Judah was surrounded by the Assyrian forces of King Sennacherib, the king’s field commander tried to entice them the people with similar words—
Do not listen to Hezekiah. This is what the king of Assyria says: “Make peace with me and come out to me. Then each of you will eat fruit from your own vine and fig tree and drink water from your own cistern until I come and take you to a land like your own—a land of grain and new wine, a land of bread and vineyards, a land of olive trees and honey. Choose life and not death! Do not listen to Hezekiah, for he is misleading you when he says, ‘The LORD will deliver us.’” (2 Kings 18:31-32)
Notice that he said the land would be “a land like your own.” He was trying to get them to compromise, to no longer listen to God’s voice, to no longer climb up into God’s presence. Much like satan tempted Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit with the promise, “You will be like God.”
But these blessings in Psalm 128 don’t come from fearful “have to” obedience to man, but from reverencing God above all else. So the longing of verses 1-4 become the prayer of verses 5-6 (notice the word may used three times in these verse).
The focus of our longing—where we need to keep our eyes—is on God’s heavenly throne: Zion, Jerusalem, Israel (vv. 5-6; Micah 4:1-5).
In an earlier story, Caleb may have gotten tired while he waited for God to fulfill His promise to him, but he always trusted God as he walked on (see Joshua 14:9-12).
What promises of God are you still praying for?
What are you longing to see accomplished?
What has God already done that you can look back on?
The Hill, though high, I covet to ascend, The Difficulty will not me offend; For I perceive the Way to life lies here. Come, pluck up Heart, let’s neither faint nor fear;
Better, though difficult, the Right Way to go,
Than wrong, though easy, where the End is Woe. (John Bunyan)
Don’t give in.
Don’t give up.
Keep climbing.
Like Caleb say, “It may have been 85 years of walking and climbing, but I’ll keep climbing. GOD, GIVE ME THIS HILL!”
If you would like to check out the other songs of ascent that we’ve already studied, please click here.
Craig T. Owens 