Better Sex

The Gospel invitationOur culture has a sexualized agenda. Just look at how Hollywood portrays us today:

  • Few happy marriages.
  • Lots of sex-crazed, inept husbands with strong wives who use or withhold sex as a reward or punishment.
  • Flawlessly beautiful actors (not a zit to be seen).
  • No consequences for sex—no pregnancy, STDs or AIDS.
  • No depression for broken relationships; no anxiety or eating disorders because of the psychological pain.
  • Sex outside of marriage is normal, and those who abstain are the weird ones.

We cannot stand on our soapboxes and rail against culture.

We cannot just tell them what we’re against, but we’ve got to tell them what we’re for.

We’ve got to give them the compelling truth for the beauty, joy, and fulfillment of sex God’s way.

The Gospel—the Good News—is an invitation, not an ultimatum. We’ve got to share with others what’s good about God’s counter culture way concerning sex! 

“I think our present outlook might be like that of a small boy who, on being told that the sexual act was the highest bodily pleasure should immediately ask whether you ate chocolates at the same time. On receiving the answer ‘No,’ he might regard absence of chocolates as the chief characteristic of sexuality. In vain would you tell him that the reason why lovers in their carnal raptures don’t bother about chocolates is that they have something better to think of. The boy knows chocolate: he does not know the positive thing that excludes it.” —C.S. Lewis

All Hollywood knows is the “chocolate” of people acting on their immediate feelings, with no understanding of long-term consequences.

Better sex comes from doing things God’s way = one man and one women married for life.

Proverbs 5 presents the advantages of being married and being intimate with just one person. I especially love this passage—

Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman? (verses 15-20)

This is better sex because it’s pure:

  • No sharing sexually transmitted diseases from previous partners.
  • No comparison to how you are in bed compared to previous partners.
  • No psychological fall-out.
  • Intimacy without reservation.
  • A release of dopamine (the feel-good hormone) unlike you’ll ever get with “casual” sex.
  • And most importantly: A relationship God can—and does!—bless.

Hollywood knows nothing about real love and a truly satisfying, fulfilling sex life. But God does! That’s why the Apostle Paul tells us, “Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Corinthians 6:20), because God created your body and knows how it can get the highest, purest pleasure.

Better sex comes when you have sex God’s way!

Money & Hammers

Money checklistHammers are very similar to money. Don’t believe me? Just take a look at some of the things they have in common. They both…

  1. …are tools.
  2. …can be used to build up or destroy.
  3. …are amoral.
  4. …don’t have any power until they’re in a person’s hand.

I realize in church circles it can make people uncomfortable to talk about money, but it shouldn’t be that way. The Bible is very clear in saying wealth comes from God, as well as how to use that wealth, so why should that be uncomfortable? Here are some of the things the Bible says about wealth:

  • If we honor God, He blesses our work (Proverbs 3:9-10).
  • If we take the glory for our success, God calls us “foolish” (Luke 12:16-21).
  • Money can be used to build God’s kingdom (Acts 4:34-37) or to build our own reputations (Acts 5:1-11).
  • Making the pursuit of money our priority becomes an idol (Luke 16:10-13).
  • The anxiety over money can choke our spiritual life (Matthew 13:22).
  • God gives us the ability to work, to make money, and to enjoy both the work and the rewards of work (Ecclesiastes 5:19).
  • God alone judges our attitude toward money (Luke 16:15).

It’s not money that is immoral, but our pursuit of Money (with a capital “M” or what the Bible calls Mammon) that is immoral.

It’s not money that will ruin us, but our trust in money that will ruin us.

It’s not money that gives us a secure future, but God Who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment (1 Timothy 6:17).

Don’t envy people with more money than you. Don’t look down on people with less money than you. Don’t—as Jesus said to the Pharisees—justify your opinions and attitudes about money.

Only an honest listening to the Holy Spirit about your attitude and lifestyle concerning money is what can keep us from letting money rob us of God’s blessing.


But Power!

But PowerIt’s not quite a League Of Justice superhero power … but it’s pretty close! Beginning in the first verse of Proverbs 10, King Solomon introduces a small, but powerful, conjunction—

The wise son brings joy to his father, BUT a foolish son grief to his mother (10:1).

Starting here and in nearly every following verse for the next 12 chapters(!) you will find this powerful little 3-letter word.

Sometimes it’s a “yet” and sometimes the semicolon implies the “but,” but it’s there in all of it’s life-changing strength!

Whatever the scenario, Solomon lists the stark contrast between a life on which God’s blessing can rest, and a foolish life that is immune to God’s blessing.

There’s almost a year’s worth of BUT POWER in these chapters. Why don’t you contemplate just one contrasting statement everyday and see what God begins to reveal to you.

BUT POWER is here to save the day!

Fierce Momma Bears

Fierce momsThe battle cry of this pragmatic generation boils down to this: “Don’t judge me! Let me live my life my way!” To the pragmatist there is no objective right or wrong, but right or wrong is determined by whatever seems right/wrong to each individual.

But what if your decision adversely impacts my world? Or what if my decision adversely impacts your world?

There is a time to speak up. There is a time to say, “There is an objective right and wrong, and your decision is wrong.” I think that time to speak up is when lives and livelihoods are involved. 

The Bureau of Labor Statistics, the Social Security Administration, the Guttmacher Institute, and the National Center for Health Statistics all agree on this—there is a way for us to add revenue to our economy and our future without raising taxes a single penny. There is a way for us to add:

  • $400 billion of revenue to our economy
  • $11 billion to Medicare
  • $47 billion to Social Security

Oops, I take that back. This is actually revenue for the economy and a boost for the Medicare and Social Security programs that we would be seeing now if nearly 57 million babies hadn’t been aborted in the United States since 1973. The additional workers which have been lost before they were even born would have easily added this to our economy.

The Bible challenges us to: “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed” (Proverbs 31:8).

I believe the time to say, “Enough!” has come. I also believe this call to action needs to come from our moms. Several places in the Scripture the fierceness of warriors is actually compared to the fierceness of moms. Like when talking about King David and his warriors—You know your father and his men; they are fighters, and as fierce as a wild bear robbed of HER cubs… (2 Samuel 17:8).

Did you catch that? David’s fierceness wasn’t described in masculine terms, but in terms of a Momma Bear that lost her cubs! 

Moms, we need you. It’s time for you to say, “Enough destruction of innocent life.” It’s time for you to speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. It’s time for you to ensure justice for those pre-born babies being crushed. It’s time for your momma bear instincts to cause you to growl, which will finally motivate other warriors to step into the battle.

C’mon, Momma Bears, we need you to growl fiercely! 

I Can’t Really Know

I Can't Really KnowSolomon wrote, “A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it” (Proverbs 22:3).

Conventional wisdom teaches me to persevere no matter what—keep going! head down and power through! don’t quit! Yet Solomon’s counsel is unconventional—there is a time to stop and take refuge; there is a time that persevering leads to more pain and no gain.

Prior to Solomon’s writings, the other uses of the Hebrew word he uses for “prudent” (aruwm) are always in the negative sense: the serpent was more crafty (Genesis 3:1), God thwarts the shrewd (Job 5:12), to name just a couple. Solomon uses the same word, but in a positive sense.

It comes down to this: I can’t know whether I’m being shrewd or prudent. I can’t know whether I should stop or press on. Only God knows! 

Only the Alpha and Omega knows my end from my beginning. Only the One Who created me with a purpose knows my purpose and my path. Only my Shepherd can tell me when to go forward into green pastures, and when to take refuge beside quiet waters.

My takeaway: I must constantly be in God’s presence, listening for His Voice. I can’t really know when to stay or when to go, but He does know and He is delighted in telling me.

Maintain Sexual Discretion

Sexual discretionI’m always saddened when I hear of Christians who stumble in sexual sin. Whether it’s a real relationship with someone not their spouse or a virtual relationship with pornography, the pain and consequences are heart-wrenching.

King Solomon offers some sage advice to help us have victory in this area, which is summed up in just two words: maintain discretion (Proverbs 5:2). These are among his opening words before he describes the sweeter-than-honey, smoother-than-oil allure of sexual temptation.

This phrase—maintain discretion—emphasizes a strategy that is designed and thought-out prior to the moment of temptation: “maintain” means to keep close at hand and ready to use. This is the complete opposite of deciding in the moment. “The Moment” is usually emotionally-charged, intellectually-lacking, and comes at the most inopportune time when you’re at your most vulnerable point.

Solomon says to have a plan in place ahead of time to “keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house” (v. 8).

An even better plan is to make the relationship with your spouse (or future spouse) something so exciting and fulfilling (vv. 15-19) that any momentary temptation appears puny, shallow, and even abhorrent by contrast.

Wisdom is helpful in “the moment,” but it’s even more effective in keeping you away from “the moment.” You don’t have to be a victim of sexual sin, you CAN maintain discretion.

10 Blessings From Doing Things God’s Way

10Solomon opens the third chapter of Proverbs with these words, “My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart.” Then he goes on to list the blessings that come from doing things God’s ways. Here they are—

  1. A prosperous, long life (v. 2)
  2. You will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man (v. 4)
  3. Straight paths (v. 6)
  4. Health to your body (v. 8)
  5. Overflowing success for your work (v. 10)
  6. God’s discipline—yes, His discipline is a blessing (v. 12)
  7. God takes you into His confidence (v. 32)
  8. God blesses your home (v. 33)
  9. He gives you grace (v. 34)
  10. He gives you honor (v. 35)

With a list of blessings like that, why would I ever want to try to do things my way?!

Links & Quotes

link quote

These are links to articles and quotes I found interesting today.

“Truth wears well. Time tests it, but it right well endures the trial. … What a poor thing is the temporary triumph of falsehood!” —Charles Spurgeon, commenting on Proverbs 12:19

The “stimulus” that wasn’t: CBO Again Repeats Faulty Methodology

“The word ‘mercy’ here is extracted from misericordia, the Greek word for ‘misery.’ The full meaning of this word is: ‘to take to heart the misery of another, with the intention of giving him comfort and relief.’ So being merciful means taking on another person’s hurt!” Read more from David Wilkerson.

[PHOTOS] Amazing story captured in Life magazine of a 1950s nurse Maude Callen.

[VIDEO] Largest Lunar Impact Caught By Astronomers

What the IRS is trying now even has the ACLU upset: Stop The Assault

Wow! Check out this tweet from Russian chess champion Garry Kasparov

Gratitude Cancels Anxiety

Gratitude cancels anxietyThe wise King Solomon said, “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down…” (Proverbs 12:25). And now medical science proves it.

There’s the physical weight of anxiety:

  • Digestion of food is hindered
  • Sleep is disrupted
  • Short-term memory is hampered
  • Immune system is depressed
  • Heart disease risks are elevated
  • Not to mention the emotional and relational weights of anxiety

But do you know what brings an almost immediate bounce-back from these conditions? Feeling and expressing gratitude.

The feelings of gratitude…

  • Release endorphins (the feel-good hormone)
  • Make good memories easier to recall
  • Strengthen relationships
  • Improve overall physical health

The verse I quoted earlier from Proverbs was only the first half of the verse. The full verse says, “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” Science tells us that it doesn’t matter if those good words are words others say to us, or words we say to ourselves, or words we say to others. Our bodies cannot tell the difference, so any grateful/thankful/positive words cancel out the heaviness of anxiety!

Try it! Keep a gratitude journal … write a letter to someone you haven’t properly thanked for their investment in your life … make it a point to compliment others … speak more positively to yourself. Those grateful words are not only the antidote to the anxiety weighing you down now but also the inoculation against future anxiety. 

We’ll be looking at more benefits of gratitude next week, as we continue our series A Grateful Heart Is A Strong Heart. Please join me!

Keep The Questions Coming

The Q SeriesEvery year I look forward to our Q Series, where I field questions folks have about spiritual matters. Not that I’m an expert, but I’m following the example of The Expert.

Jesus never tired of answering people’s longing questions. Sometimes He gave them a direct answer; sometimes He asked them a question in reply to their question; sometimes He answered their question with a story or parable. But one thing was always consistent: Jesus answered every question in a way that pointed people to His Heavenly Father.

That’s what I am attempting to do in our Q Series.

Yesterday I fielded questions about creation/evolution; Christ’s passion week and His death, burial, and resurrection; the names given to God; and even suicide. I pray each answer created a desire for others to dig deeper in Scripture and learn more about God.

In the book of Proverbs, Wisdom is personified as one calling out to those who want help to come to her with their questions. In the New Testament, James writes, “If anyone lacks wisdom, let him ask God for help.” So we need to keep asking The One who is The Truth.

If you would like to participate in our Q Series, please join us next Sunday at Calvary Assembly of God, or submit your question in the comments below and I’ll do my best to answer it. But even if I can’t, you know where to go!