The Best Way To De-Stress

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Of all the things that rob a Christian of peace and robust mental health, stress has to be near the top of the list. There are so many stressors in our lives that to not find a way to actively de-stress is to choose to remain stressed. This is sort of like fertilizing the weeds, as we learned in our second mental health strategy. 

A certain amount of stress is good for us—doctors call this eustress. Our bodies have been designed by God with a hormone called cortisol that helps us respond to stressful situations, and He also designed that the unused cortisol be flushed from our bodies as we sleep and exercise. However, when we become stressed, many times sleep and exercise are squeezed out of our lives. 

Men’s Health magazine reported, “You personally may dictate when you’ll die. After studying 1633 men for 30 years, Purdue scientists found that worrying takes 16 years off your life. Negative thinking triggers the release of cortisol, a stress hormone that can be dangerous when elevated for long periods of time.” 

The eustress can degrade into distress if we’re not attentive to this downward slide. The excess cortisol that is allowed to remain in our bodies leads to unhealthy responses—like sleeplessness, starvation or binge eating, and little to no exercise. These unhealthy factors are further exacerbated by our diminished coping skills that come from the damage done to the hippocampus in our brain. Lingering cortisol kills the neurons in this memory center of our brains, which makes it harder for us to recall past lessons that could help us resolve stress. 

Sadly, distress can become its own downward cycle as the unhealthy responses and diminished coping skills negatively impact our lives, creating even more stressors. 

Stress makes us:

  1. Self-focused 
  2. Short-sighted 
  3. Stingy with our time, possessions, and even God’s promises 

But there is a word of hope for us. William James noted, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” 

I want to give you one thought—one word, one action—to combat stress: Bless. 

Blessing others takes the focus off myself. Blessing God puts the focus on Him. 

In the Gospels, we see people who had suffered the ravages of stress, encounter Jesus, find freedom, and then begin to bless others as a preventative to returning to their stress-filled lives. We can see a few examples in healed women, a man delivered from demons, and a woman who had lived a less-than-virtuous life (Luke 8:1-3, 26-39; 7:36-50). 

Frequently, the Old Testament psalmists shared how blessing God and others brought them out of their stressful situations. A great example comes from David when he chose to bless God in a stressful place, and ended up being a blessing to other afflicted people around him (Psalm 34:1-6). 

When you feel stress mounting, you need to get active. Feelings follow actions. We usually won’t feel ourselves into action, but we can act ourselves into feelings. 

The best way to de-stress is to bless! 

As we bless, look at the shifts that take place: 

  1. Instead of remaining self-focused we become others-focused 
  2. Instead of being short-sighted we get a big-picture orientation 
  3. Instead of being stingy with our possessions and God’s promises we become generous

Remember that in the distress cycle I mentioned earlier the brain cells in the hippocampus were being damaged? The excess cortisol literally kills those neurons. The good news is that the hippocampus is one of the few places in the brain that experiences neurogenesis after cortisol is flushed. When you replace stressing with blessing, and the cortisol is regularly flushed from your body, brain cells are regenerated in your hippocampus. In essence, you are developing both a new brain and a new mind. 

The apostle Paul wrote, “Put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24 NKJV). 

Don’t let stress steal life from your years and years from your life. De-stress by blessing God and blessing those around you. 

If you’ve missed any of the previous eight mental health strategies that I have shared in this series, you can find them all by clicking here. 

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Are You Getting Enough Sleep?

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Doctors and scientists have repeatedly shown how important sleep is for us physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. So it’s an important question to ask: Are you getting enough sleep?

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

Resources mentioned in this video:

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Avoiding Ministry Burnout

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

It has always been extremely heart-wrenching for me to see pastors and other ministry leaders get so frazzled that they throw in the towel. Many of them not only resign from the churches where they served, but they end up resigning their ministerial credentials too. 

I know this breaks God’s heart as well. 

When I was interviewed on The Church Lobby podcast, Karl Vaters wanted to discuss some preventative steps that pastors could take to avoid this ministry burnout.

In my book Shepherd Leadership, I devote five chapters to the mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional health of those in ministry leadership. I hope you will pick up a copy for yourself or for your pastor. 

To listen to the full interview on The Church Lobby, please click here.

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Check Your Inputs

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Jesus was the healthiest Person to ever walk planet Earth. When Luke, a physician, tells us about the growth of Jesus, he says first that “Jesus grew in wisdom.” (Luke 2:52). That is our indication that a healthy mind is at the foundation for every other aspect of health. 

But mental health doesn’t stay in your mind—it affects every other part of your life. Likewise, all of the other parts of your life can enhance or drain your mental health. We are created as interconnected beings. For instance, it’s hard to think correctly when you’re physically tired, spiritually drained, or involved in an unhealthy relationship. It’s also true that it’s hard to make good decisions about your physical health, stay focused on God, or handle your relationships successfully if you aren’t thinking correctly. 

We see the apostles writing about our wholly healthiness

Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. (3 John 2) 

Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. (1 Thessalonians 5:23 NLT) 

When my laptop is disconnected from the monitors I use at our church building, the message on the screen tells me to “check your inputs.” That’s not just for inanimate technology, but for us too: To maintain good overall health, we need to check our physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional inputs. 

Let’s start with the physical inputs. When we are active during the day our bodies release a stress hormone called cortisol. Stress is not a bad thing—it’s a normal thing. A body that isn’t stressed will atrophy and become susceptible to disease. Balanced, healthy stress is called eustress, and unbalanced, unhealthy stress is called distress. 

Cortisol is naturally flushed from the body in two ways: exercise and sleep. Exercise is important to keep our bodies moving effectively, and sleep helps us recover and helps our brains catalogue our memories (see 1 Timothy 4:8; Psalm 3:5). To fuel our exercise and our sleep requires the energy which we get from a healthy diet. 

So if you’re not thinking healthy thoughts, check your physical inputs: Am I getting the proper amount of sleep? Am I exercising regularly? Am I eating properly? Do I see a doctor for a checkup? 

How about spiritual inputs? Somewhat surprisingly, our spirits are kept healthy very much along the same lines as our physical bodies—proper food, appropriate exercise, and a time of rest. Our spiritual food is God’s Word, our exercise is working out what we’ve studied in the Bible, and our rest is called sabbathing (Jeremiah 15:16; Matthew 7:24-27; James 2:17). Jesus demonstrated all of these in His life and we, too, should follow His example. 

If you’re not thinking healthy thoughts, check your spiritual inputs: Am I reading the Bible regularly? Am I putting what I learn into practice? Am I sabbathing properly?  

Then there our emotional inputs, or the relationships that build us and relationships that drain us. You are always going to encounter people in need, and ministering to those needs is draining (Luke 8:45-46). We also need to be alert to those antagonistic people who purposely drain us (2 Timothy 4:14-15). We can make decisions to place people in our lives who build us up and be cautious of those who drain us (Proverbs 27:3, 5-6, 9, 17). 

Once again, if you’re not thinking healthy thoughts, check your emotional inputs: Do I have healthy people investing in my life? Am I sharpening the iron of others? 

Finally, let’s not forget the mental inputs. Computer programmers are well aware of the acronym GIGO: garbage in, garbage out. If you don’t like the results that are coming out, check what is going in. The apostle Paul gives us an outstanding checklist in Philippians 4:8. 

If your mental health isn’t as healthy as you would like it to be, perhaps you need to talk to your doctor about your physical health, or a mature spiritual friend about your spiritual health, or a Christian counselor about your emotional health. As you consult with these wise people, continue to pray for God’s help. As your Creator, He knows you better than anyone else could and He can give you the wisdom you need as you check your inputs. 

This is part 5 in our series on a Christian’s mental health. If you’ve missed any of the other messages I’ve shared, you can find them all by clicking here. 

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Different Types Of Healthy Rest

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I had a great time on the Thriving In Ministry podcast with Kyle Willis while his podcast partner Dace Clifton was on sabbatical. 

There is a profound truth in a simple observation about how Jesus grew: “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52). Jesus was healthy in all of these areas. That means He had the proper work-rest balance in each of these areas too. 

We should learn from this example and find different ways to rest and recover mentally, physically, spiritually, and relationally, just as Jesus did.  

I encourage you to take a listen to this part of our conversation.

How can you take a mental rest? Perhaps by reading or listening to something uplifting, or maybe simply taking time to think about what you’ve been thinking about. 

For physical rest, you might take a nap, schedule a vacation, or contemplate changing something in your diet. 

For spiritual rest, you could sing a worship song or quietly meditate on a passage of Scripture. 

For relational rest, you could have breakfast with a good friend or go for a walk with your spouse. 

And don’t forget to tap into the wisdom and expertise of others in these areas. Talk with a mental health professional about your mental health, see a doctor about your physical health, visit with a wise mentor to discuss your spiritual health, or see a counselor about your relational health. You don’t have to come up with all of the answers on your own. 

In my book Shepherd Leadership, I take five chapters to unpack how we can improve our health in all four of these areas. I encourage you to check it out by clicking here. 

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Links & Quotes

I am really looking forward to a new series of sermons that I am launching this Sunday. This will be a once-per-month series for the remainder of the year and it’s simply called A Christian’s Mental Health. If you don’t have a home church in the west Michigan area, I would love for you to join me in person, but the sermons will also be posted on my YouTube channel.

T.M. Moore has an outstanding post called The Essence of the Lie. In one part, Moore writes, “Thus the lie claims to be the truth, but, at the same time, it insists that truth is personal, relative, pragmatic, and utilitarian. Truth, from this perspective, is not absolute, but dynamic, changeable rather than fixed. It is conditioned by circumstances of time and place. At the end of the day, people are the final arbiters of truth, and truth is whatever they find to be useful for their purposes. Ultimate truth is that which people impose on others by one or another kind of force, whether intellectual, political, or physical.” Check this one out!

Harvard University has been studying a group of individuals since 1938 to try to determine the main factors that contribute to a long and healthy life. The director and assistant director of this study just published an article that sums up what they have learned over all these years—“[If] we had to take all 85 years of the Harvard Study and boil it down to a single principle for living, one life investment that is supported by similar findings across a variety of other studies, it would be this: Good relationships keep us healthier and happier. Period. If you want to make one decision to ensure your own health and happiness, it should be to cultivate warm relationships of all kinds.”

“The battle for control and leadership of the world has always been waged most effectively at the idea level. An idea, whether right or wrong, that captures the minds of a nation’s youth will soon work its way into every area of society, especially in our multimedia age. Ideas determine consequences.” — The American Covenant 

“The storms of life are no longer our point of reference when [Jesus] is our focal point.” —Dutch Sheets

John Stonestreet was intrigued by a street reporter asking, “What are men good for?” There were a lot of soft, ambiguous answers given, but John quipped, “Men are good for fathering, protecting, loving, providing, leading, fighting for what’s right with their lives if need be, and obeying, in a masculine way, the creation mandate of the God who made us male and female and declared both ‘very good.’ Was that so hard?” Amen!

Dan Reiland identifies four common mistakes that will cause your church to struggle.

When leaders quit growing, they in essence have “quiet quit” on their team. If the leader’s not growing, what is the incentive for anyone else in the organization to improve themselves or work hard? Leaders quiet quit long before their teammates do! Check out the full conversation Greg Heeres and I had on avoiding quiet quitting by clicking here.

Conquering Two Roadblocks To Sabbathing

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

I thought it was very appropriate that I got to be a guest on the Thriving In Ministry podcast with Kyle Willis while his podcast partner Dace Clifton was on sabbatical. It was appropriate because Kyle and I talked about the importance of pastors finding time to rest. 

Proper rest is absolutely vital for longevity and vitality. I hope you will listen to this short segment from this conversation. 

I shared with Kyle two main roadblocks to sabbathing. 

(1) Trying to be something you’re not. 

We are all wired differently. God wired us that way on purpose. So if you’re an early bird, guard those morning hours for your creative work and use the evenings for rest. If you’re a night owl, don’t try to copy the early birds, but rest early in the day and do your creative work when you are at your best. 

→ So the key concept to overcoming this roadblock is personalization. 

(2) Getting distracted by the non-essentials. 

Two things have really helped me with this one: Sticking to sustainable daily routines, while at the same time being sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s redirection (check out my post on the idea I call I.T.L.W.). 

→ The key concept here is flexible focus. 

I talk more about this concept of sabbathing and a leader’s overall healthiness in my book Shepherd Leadership. You can also check out some other posts about sabbathing by clicking here.

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Links & Quotes

God will give you everything you need to minister to others. But there’s one thing you have to do first…

“He who thinks half-heartedly will not believe in God; but he who really thinks has to believe in God.” —Isaac Newton

Back in 1929, Donald Gee shared three temptations that Pentecostals needed to be cautious of avoiding: (1) selfish satisfaction, (2) fanaticism, and (3) the temptation to forsake the pure worship of God in exchange for popularity. Check out the full article here.

I really appreciate the leadership insights from Dan Reiland. That’s why I was so honored to have him write such a nice endorsement of my book Shepherd Leadership! Here is an important post Dan wrote for leaders, warning us of 5 ways we can misuse our spiritual authority

Fight The New Drug is right on-target in warning about the dangers of pornography. Check out this insightful post that gives 8 reasons why not watching porn can improve your real human relationships as well as your physical and emotional health

Another display of God’s masterful creativity in the Archerfish. I absolutely love these video from The John 10:10 Project!

Optimal Spiritual Health

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

I had a great time on the 200churches podcast with Jeff Keady. 

Jeff and I spent a good chunk of our time talking about the health of pastors. I think it is very important for shepherd leaders to be wholly healthy because we cannot give to our flocks what we don’t possess ourselves. 

One of the things that is very interesting to me is the parallels between maintaining our physical health and maintaining our spiritual health. When it comes right down to it, our physical health can be optimized by getting a handle on four key elements: (1) proper diet, (2) regular exercise, (3) appropriate rest and recovery, and (4) regular times of evaluation and adjustment. 

Our spiritual health is optimized with these same four elements. 

As my friend Josh Schram reminded me, “Health is not just a big one-time choice. Health is small daily choices.” Jesus made these daily choices to eat well, exercise regularly, rest when needed, and make the adjustments His Father spoke to His heart. He set us an example for healthy spiritual growth that will keep us in a place to grow our shepherd leadership capacities. 

I have found that we are much more likely to make and stick to a plan to get physically healthy when we have a workout friend or someone who is holding us accountable. The same is true for our spiritual health. So pastor, don’t try to get and stay healthy on your own, but get a trusted friend or two working out alongside you. 

In my book Shepherd Leadership, I have five chapters that focus on a leader’s mental, physical, spiritual, and relational health. I hope you will pick up a copy to help you operate at peak healthiness. 

If you want to catch up on some of the other clips I’ve already shared from this interview, you can find them here, and I’ll be sharing more clips from this 200churches interview soon, so please stay tuned. Shepherd Leadership: The Metrics That Really Matter is available in print or ebook, and in audiobook through either Audible or Apple. 

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Thursdays With Spurgeon—God Our Healer

This is a weekly series with things I’m reading and pondering from Charles Spurgeon. You can read the original seed thought here, or type “Thursdays With Spurgeon” in the search box to read more entries.

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

God Our Healer

O Lord my God, I cried out to You, and You healed me. O Lord, You brought my soul up from the grave; You have kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. (Psalm 30:2-3) 

     God is the best Physician, even for our bodily infirmities. We do very wickedly and foolishly when we forget God. It was a sin in Asa that he trusted physicians and not God (2 Chronicles 16:12). If we must have a physician, let it be so, but still let us go to our God first of all. And above all remember that there can be no power to heal in medicine of itself; the healing energy must flow from the divine hand. …

     If our watch is out of order, we take it to the watchmaker; if our bodies or souls are in an evil plight, let us resort to Him who created them, who has unfailing skill to put them in right condition. As for our spiritual diseases, nothing can heal these evils but the touch of the Lord Christ: if we do but touch the hem of His garment, we shall be made whole….

From Spurgeon And The Psalms

God has created us as a soul with a body. I believe that physical ailments can be attended to by a medical doctor, emotional distress should be addressed by a counselor, and spiritual issues should have the wisdom of a pastor. 

But let’s always remember that since God created our body, soul, and spirit, He is the Ultimate Source of wisdom for any areas that are out of alignment. So as Spurgeon says, seek out a doctor, counselor, or pastor, but go to God first. 

God may bring divine healing that requires no other intervention, or He may heal through medicine or counseling, but ultimately He is THE Healer.

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