Moving Toward Maturity

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Our sixth spiritual discipline—confession—is at the pinnacle of our growth as maturing saints. That’s because many of the other disciplines will culminate in one saint confessing to another saint. Confession not only keeps us strong as individuals, but it keeps the whole Christian community in a strong, healthy place. 

The story has been told about two monks who had woven plenty of baskets to sell in town on market day. On the way to town they devised a strategy where one monk would sell at one end of the market and the other at the opposite end. At the end of the day they would meet at a designated place to go back to the monastery. One monk sold all of his baskets and returned to the meeting place. He waited, and waited, and waited. It wasn’t until the next morning that the second monk appeared. 

“I cannot return to the monastery with you,” he told his waiting friend. “I have committed a terrible sin. I was tempted, and I gave into the temptation and committed fornication last night. I have broken my vows to my brothers and to God, so you will have to go back without me.” 

The first monk listened to his friend and then answered, “Come, my friend. We will go back to the monastery and repent together.” 

He was really saying to his friend, “I can identify, because under the same circumstances I might have done the same thing. Perhaps if I had stayed at your side I could have held you accountable, so I bear mutual responsibility for your stumble.” 

The early church is described in terms of togetherness. James, the early leader of the church in Jerusalem, was a part of this togetherness and used it as an important conclusion to his book of instructions to the saints—

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. … My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins. (James 5:13-16, 19-20) 

James wants the saints to be together in prayer, together in worship, together in confession, and together in rescuing their fellow brothers and sisters. The word he uses for “confession” means an out-loud profession or agreement. When he says, “confess your sins” he uses a word that means a deviation from a standard, or a falling short of God’s word. 

James sees this ongoing confession as a preventative to “a multitude of sins.” In this instance, the word he uses is an outright violation of God’s laws. In other words, the small deviations can add up to something deadly. 

Paul uses a similar idea when he writes, “Let us purify ourselves” (2 Corinthians 7:1). The implication again is that we are confessing both individually and corporately. I can be a huge blessing to my brothers and sisters by going first in confession (Matthew 7:1-5). 

Confession also helps others know they are not alone (1 Corinthians 10:12-13). 

As an individual saint I mature by continually closing the gap between realizing a shortcoming in my life and confessing that shortcoming to God and to another saint. Then as saints together we can love, encourage, help, and hold each other accountable. I have said before that I think confession may be the most under-used resource for Christians to gain power in prayer and victory over falling into temptation! 

In each of our previous five spiritual disciplines I’ve shared a “so that” statement to help us keep perspective of why we need to employ those disciplines. For confession, here’s our focal point: I confess to other saints so that we can be mutually accountable in our growth toward purity and maturity. 

Confession is good for us individually and corporately, so let’s continue to use this to strengthen everyone. 

If you’ve missed the messages covering the other spiritual disciplines, you can find all of them by clicking here. 

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Is Your Love Growing?

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Are you a more loving person today than you were a year ago? If you said, “Yes,” how do you know?

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

Resources mentioned in this video:

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Saints Together

Throughout the New Testament the word “saints” is always in the plural form. This is a clear indication that none of us can develop into the full-fledged Christians we were meant to be on our own. 

We all need each other. More specifically, we all need the most mature version of each other. 

A key component of an individual saint’s development is the time spent alone being forged by the discipline of the Holy Spirit. Maturing saints then come together with each other to continue to strengthen and sharpen everyone in the church. Strong individual saints make a strong church, and a strong church makes strong individual saints! 

Join me for our new series called Saints Together. We will be studying the six spiritual disciplines that each individual saint must put into practice so that they can use their newly developed strengths to help other saints in their own development. 

Check out all of these messages here:

Flatten The Rollercoaster

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

I’m not a fan of rollercoasters, but I know a lot of people who really like them. Some even travel all over the world to experience unique rollercoasters. The anticipation as the cars climb slowly up the big hill, knowing that there’s no stopping this thing now! Then the rush of emotions, a deep breath and a laugh at the end (usually laughing at our friends’ responses while on the ride), and then we just walk away. The moment of anticipation leading up to the big drop was usually longer and more intense than the ride itself. 

Not only do people travel all over to find rollercoasters, some people seem to have their emotions perpetually on rollercoasters. 

One of the telltale signs of someone with an immature mental health is the way every situation gets blown out of proportion before anything even happens. Then as an event unfolds, their exaggerations continue: the molehills are mountains, every valley is the valley of the shadow of death, the night is a nightmare, the “crisis” is lasting forever, no one has ever gone through what they’re going through, and the list goes on. 

To break out of this habit requires us developing emotional capacity. John Maxwell describes it like this: “Emotional capacity is the ability to handle adversity, failure, criticism, change, and pressure in a positive way.” Just as athletes have to develop lung capacity or muscle capacity, developing emotional capacity takes time, patience, and diligence. 

Increased emotional capacity is not escaping from our problems or even learning coping skill. Escapism never allows us to confront the things that are keeping our emotional capacity immature. On the other hand, maturing emotional capacity is learning to pause to get perspective so that we can avoid turning every mountain into a molehill, and every challenge into a do-or-die battle.  

Mentally healthy people don’t try to escape, but they learn how to de-escalate by getting a new perspective. Or to use the language of our first mental health strategy, they get off their old, well-worn paths. 

Let me illustrate this by looking at two emotions which seem to be the most rollercoaster-ish. 

(1) The first rollercoaster emotion is anger 

Out-of-proportion anger can either burn everyone around us when we explode, or it can eat away inside us if we hold it in. Neither of these are healthy emotional responses. Jesus got angry at the religious crowd that was keeping people away from God’s kingdom, but He didn’t ride the rollercoaster that led to a sinful expression of His anger. 

God asked Jonah a very helpful question: Have you any right to be angry? (Jonah 4:4). When we feel the Holy Spirit asking us this question, our defiant first response is almost always, “Yes! I didn’t do anything wrong! It was all him!” Solomon would counsel us to cross-examine that thought (Proverbs 18:17). 

Sometimes God will bring someone else across our path to help us pause to get perspective—to flatten the rollercoaster. For instance, God used Abigail to help David (see the story in 1 Samuel 25). However the Holy Spirit cross-examines us, we need to learn to truly listen. James told us: 

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (James 1:19-20)

(2) The second rollercoaster emotion is fear 

Fear usually causes us to fight or flight. Those are the natural responses, but the supernatural response is to pause to evaluate. I love the reminder that F.E.A.R. means false evidence appearing real. 

As with anger, our first pause to get perspective on this potential rollercoaster that can plunge us into a deep, dark valley should be to cross-examine the false evidence of fear. 

When the group of ladies came to the tomb of Jesus on the Sunday following His crucifixion, they were already battered and bruised in their emotions. Finding an empty tomb brought even more fear in their hearts. But there is a keyword in this account that will help us: 

In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men [angels] said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; He has risen! Remember how He told you, while He was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’” Then they remembered His words. (Luke 24:5-8)

The Holy Spirit can help us remember the truth in God’s Word to counteract the fear-inducing false evidence (2 Timothy 1:7; John 14:26), but we must pause to listen to this evidence before this rollercoaster emotion picks up speed. 

The bottom line: Don’t try to escape your strong emotions. Pause. Cross-examine the evidence with the help of God’s Word, the Holy Spirit, and a friend to get a healthy perspective. This can help you flatten the rollercoaster before your emotions run away with you. 

If you’ve missed any of the other mental health strategies we’ve already covered in this series, you can find the full list by clicking here. 

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Micro-Adjustments

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

I had a great time on the Leading From Alignment podcast with Jim Wiegand and John Opalewski. 

One of the loudest, most persistent advertising messages is about speed: Take action now, get immediate results as soon as you sign up, don’t miss out, act today! Because of this sentiment that appears all around us, many people often think that any life changes they make should bring about immediate and lasting results. 

I’ve often joked that I wish I had the superpower to zap myself or a friend—“<Poof!> There, you’ve got it now. You’re all set!” Unfortunately, that’s usually not how it works. 

Instead, we need to be ready for a lengthy process—possibly even a lifelong process—of the Holy Spirit helping us to make the micro-adjustments that are necessary. 

Check out this part of my conversation with Jim and John as we discussed this idea. 

 I like this line from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

The heights of great men reached and kept,
Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept,
Were toiling upwards in the night.

The Holy Spirit knows exactly where we need to change and how much we need to change. Let’s trust Him in this process. Then take some time to look back and celebrate how far the Holy Spirit has matured us so that we can be re-energized to stay in this lifelong process.  

If you would like to watch this full interview on the Leading From Alignment podcast, please go here.

I’ll be sharing more clips from this interview soon, so please stay tuned. My book Shepherd Leadership: The Metrics That Really Matter is available in print or ebook, and in audiobook through either Audible or Apple. 

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Thursdays With Spurgeon—The Proof In The Longing

This is a weekly series with things I’m reading and pondering from Charles Spurgeon. You can read the original seed thought here, or type “Thursdays With Spurgeon” in the search box to read more entries.

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

The Proof In The Longing

My soul is consumed with longing for Your laws at all times. (Psalm 119:20) 

     Can you say that your heart pines for God as the watcher through the midnight sighs for the dawn, or as the traveler over burning sand longs for the shadow of a great rock? Oh, then, though I would not have you rest in longings; indeed, I know you never can. Yet they are a proof that you are spiritually alive! Heart longings are far better tests than attendance at sacraments, for men who are dead in sin have dared to come both to baptism and the Lord’s Supper. Eager desires prove spiritual life much better than supposed attainments, for these supposed attainments may all be imaginary. But a heart breaking for the longing that it has for God’s Word is no fancy. It is a fact too painful to be denied! … 

     We have not reached perfection, but do not let us, therefore, be discouraged, for the apostle of the Gentiles said, ‘Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect’ (Philippians 3:12). … When a man thinks himself so good that he cannot be better, he is probably so bad that he could not be worse. … 

     The fuller a man is of grace, the more he hungers for grace! Strange it is to say so, but the paradox is true—the more he drinks and the more he is satisfied and ceases to thirst in one sense, the more he is devoured with thirst after the living God! … This it is to be a true child of God: To always have a yearning soul toward God’s Word, to be eager after His commandments at all times. May the Holy Spirit keep us ever hungering and thirsting after God and His truth.

From Holy Longings

In a recent interview that I did, I was asked how someone should deal with the fact that they are struggling to be balanced in their leadership. My reply was, “The very fact that they are feeling the struggle should be a great encouragement to them. People who don’t feel the tension of wanting to get better are blinded to their deficiencies and never seek help.” 

The proof of our growing maturity is in our longing for growing maturity. 

The psalmist in this great chapter is thrilled with what God’s Word has already accomplished in his life, and yet he is still longing for the Holy Spirit to do an even greater work in his heart. This is the tension in which every maturing Christian should live. The devil would love to whisper to your heart, “Your longing for more proves that you are still immature.” This is an utter lie! As Spurgeon reminds us, the more of God we have, the more of God we will crave.

My friend, never be satisfied with what you have already attained. Be delighted with what God has done, but crave that He will continue to do more and more and more! These longings not only delight God but bring Him great glory.

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Links & Quotes

Immature people only want to do the bare minimum, but mature people want to do more than is expected of them. Jesus called these people those that went the second mile. That was a topic in my most recent Monday Motivation series.

I am a big fan of The Babylon Bee. If you haven’t checked out their satirical wit, please do so! One post that caught my eye this week is called What Your Favorite Book Of The Bible Says About You. Wow, did this one make me laugh! If you would like to check out some real Bible studies, I have some here and here.

Cold-case detective and Christian apologist J. Warner Wallace discusses how Jesus impacted other world religions—

The drought in north Texas has revealed some more dinosaur tracks, raising some new questions about these massive animals that roamed Earth.

The devil loves to try to pervert the conviction of the Holy Spirit into condemnation. Here is the freeing truth we can stand on: There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Sean McDowell elaborates on the dangers of pornography.

Thursdays With Spurgeon—Aids Of Self-Judgment

This is a weekly series with things I’m reading and pondering from Charles Spurgeon. You can read the original seed thought here, or type “Thursdays With Spurgeon” in the search box to read more entries.

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Aids Of Self-Judgment

My soul is consumed with longing for Your laws at all times. (Psalm 119:20) 

     Spiritual desires are the shadows of coming blessings. What God intends to give us, He first sets us longing for. Therefore, prayer is wonderfully effective because it is the embodiment of a longing that is inspired by God because He intends to bestow the blessing prayed for! What are your longings, then, my hearer? Do you long to be holy? The Lord will make you holy! Do you long to conquer sin? You will overcome it by faith in Jesus! Are you pining after fellowship with Christ? He will come and make His abode with you! Does your soul thirst, yes, even pant after God as the hart for the water brooks? Then you will be filled with all His fulness…. 

     I say not that it is so with all human wishes, for ‘the sluggard desires and has nothing’ [Proverbs 13:4] and many a man has such evil cravings within his heart that it were contrary to the purity of God for Him to grant them. But where there are intense, heartbreaking earnings of a holy order, depend upon it, they are tokens of good things to come! 

     Where the grace of God reigns in the soul, it makes a man become a stranger among his fellows…. Worldly men care nothing for the judgments of God. No, they care nothing for God Himself! But when a man becomes born anew, a citizen of heaven, there grows up within his spirit a spiritual appetite of which he had felt nothing before—and he longs after God and His Holy Word. See to it, brothers and sisters, whether your souls cry out for God, for the living God, for again I say, by your longings you may test yourselves—by your heart’s desires you may forecast the future—and by your hungering and thirsting you may judge whether you are men of this world or citizens of the world to come. With such aids to self-judgment, no man ought to remain in doubt as to his spiritual condition and eternal prospects.

From Holy Longings

I am currently teaching a series of lessons called Craving. We are learning in these sermons that God created our souls to long intensely, to have cravings. But we go astray when what we crave are things that will merely last during this world. 

John told us, “This world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever” (1 John 2:17 NLT). So by its very definition, worldly things will never satisfy our cravings because the world is temporary. Only an eternal God can give us eternal satisfaction. 

As Spurgeon teaches us here, examining our longings is the best aid of self-judgment and will help us determine our future. Craving God’s presence will bring God’s blessing and His eternal fulfillment of our cravings. Craving anything else will lead to frustration and eternal disappointment. 

God longs to bless us (Isaiah 30:18) as long as we are craving Him!

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Don’t Putrefy Your Leadership

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

King Solomon nailed it pretty succinctly with this verse: Dead flies putrefy the perfumer’s ointment, and cause it to give off a foul odor; so does a little folly to one respected for wisdom and honor. (Ecclesiastes 10:1) 

As a Christian leader, I always have mixed emotions when I hear of another prominent Christian leader who has stumbled. Part of me is angry because I know that all Christian leaders will get painted with the same brush. Another part of me is incredibly sad to hear of a brother or sister who has squandered the trust that was placed in them. Finally, part of me becomes quite self-reflective, because I don’t want to repeat their mistakes. 

Tom Peters said, “There are no minor lapses of integrity.” King Solomon would agree. And so do I. 

Godly leadership can be such a beautiful thing, but just a couple of dead flies can putrefy the whole thing! 

Here are four things that I have seen in the lives of those leaders who haven’t finished well. These are the things all of us need to watch carefully in our own lives.

(1) They compromised in “the little things.” None of them started off by saying, “I’m going to completely ruin my reputation as a godly leader.” But they allowed themselves to indulge in things that were just “little things” in their minds. Perhaps they thought, “It won’t hurt if I indulge in this one little thing.” The apostle Paul warns us, “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” (1 Corinthians 10:12). 

(2) Pride crept in. They thought they were better than others. Peter said it this way: “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble’” (1 Peter 5:5). I addressed this topic in my book Shepherd Leadership: The Metrics That Really Matter like this—

     Did you catch that? God stands back from the proud person who will not admit his error nor ask for help, let alone ask for forgiveness. On the other hand, God lavishes His grace on the humble one who admits both his error and his need for help. Admission of an inappropriate action or reaction brings God’s help! 

     Friends, the mark of a maturing shepherd is not one who never misspeaks or never makes a mistake. No, the mark of a maturing shepherd is the one who is closing the gap between his mess up and his confession.

Pride will keep us from confessing the “little sins” and keep us from God’s help. But humility quickly admits the smallest of slip-ups and therefore receives God’s grace and help. 

(3) They lowered their standards. If anything, leaders should raise their standards as they become more successful. Think of it this way: when I was young and immature, I didn’t give much thought to my diet or my exercise routine. As I became older (and hopefully more mature), I became much more tuned-in to these things. Physically, the older I get, the more I need to pay attention to my health. The same thing is true in our leadership: maturity should lead to higher standards and higher levels of scrutiny. 

(4) They stopped listening to others. The combination of little compromises, pride, and lowered standards doesn’t easily invite accountability nor transparency. The track record is pretty consistent among those who have fallen short: they stopped listening to people who tried to correct them.

I want to finish well. I don’t want a leadership stumble in my life to rob God of glory, nor to cause others to stumble in their Christian walk. I am committed to living my life in a way that will allow Jesus to say to me at the end, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” 

I pray that all Christian leaders will join me in this.

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Lifelong Preparation

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

I had a great time on the Thriving In Ministry podcast with Kyle Willis and Dace Clifton. 

Dace asked me what I wished I had learned earlier on in my pastoral career. The answer that sprang quickly to my mind is this: God takes me through things on purpose. 

At the time we may not be able to see what God is teaching us, but He wastes no opportunities. Everything we have gone through has a purpose.

How true it is: God doesn’t prepare the path for me, but He prepares me for the path. 

The same is true for you, my friend! You may not know why during the time of your difficult trial, and you may not even know why on this side of Heaven. But God’s Word assures us that He is using every single thing to prepare us and to bring Him glory. 

My book Shepherd Leadership: The Metrics That Really Matter is proof of this! I never thought God would call me to pastor a church—let alone write a book about pastoral leadership—but as I wrote the book, the Holy Spirit brought back to my remembrance so many lessons that I learned along the way. 

I’ve already shared several clips from this Thriving In Ministry interview which you can find by clicking here, and I’ll be sharing more clips soon, so please stay tuned. 

Shepherd Leadership: The Metrics That Really Matter is available in print or ebook, and in audiobook through either Audible or Apple. 

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