Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Let’s keep in mind why we are learning and working on these spiritual disciplines. The key phrase is “so that”—I get stronger so that we can get stronger.
Today we are looking at spiritual discipline #2—Solitude. We will need discipline to abide with Jesus in our time of solitude—removing all distractions—so that we can respond better to our circumstances, and help other saints respond better too.
Part of the dictionary definition of solitude is “a place absent of human activity.” Note that important word human activity. Solitude is a time for stepping back from all our human striving to get a heavenly perspective. Solitude is a proactive pause in difficult times so that we can respond with a God-honoring reaction.
Let me give you five ideal situations to discipline ourselves to find solitude.
(1) After ministry exertion. I’m sure there have been times when an interaction with another person or a group of people has exhausted you. It’s at these times we should find a place of solitude to be refreshed, just as Jesus did (Luke 5:16).
(2) In stormy times. When everything around us seems to be unstable, proactively pausing in a time of solitude is saying with the psalmist, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble,” and then hearing God say to our anxious hearts, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:1, 10). These are the same words Jesus said to both the stormy seas and the disquieted hearts of His disciples (see Mark 4:35-39).
(3) When we’re between a rock and a hard place. This is when we feel like neither option before us is a pleasant one. Like when the Israelites were caught between the onrushing Egyptian army and the uncrossable Red Sea. Listen to how similar the words of Moses sound, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (see Exodus 14:1-14).
(4) When we have a big decision ahead. We may gather all of the information and do our our research and still feel inadequate to make a good decision. Jesus had hundreds of disciples, but He needed to choose just twelve to serve as His apostles. Before making this decision, Jesus spent the night in solitude with His Father (Luke 6:12-13).
(5) When we get angry. There are other strong emotions that sometimes seem to overwhelm us, but I’ve noticed that anger causes more people to fly off the handle than most of the other emotions. When Jesus saw the shameful way the temple was being used, He got so angry that His disciples recalled the Psalm that said zeal was burning Him up (Psalm 69:9; John 2:17). Instead of reacting in the heat of the moment, Jesus spent all night in solitude with His Father (Mark 11:11, 19).
Then keep in mind that solitude is not retreating and staying away from others, but solitude is so that I can effectively respond to pressing situations. Christian solitude is not me-time, it’s us-time (where the “us” is me + Jesus) so that I’m ready for we-time (where the “we” is me + others).
This is such an important discipline for Christians so that we don’t respond inappropriately in an intense situation, but we respond in a Christ-like way that brings glory to God. Pay attention to your strong emotions, listen to the Holy Spirit, and proactively find a place of solitude.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
I’m not a fan of rollercoasters, but I know a lot of people who really like them. Some even travel all over the world to experience unique rollercoasters. The anticipation as the cars climb slowly up the big hill, knowing that there’s no stopping this thing now! Then the rush of emotions, a deep breath and a laugh at the end (usually laughing at our friends’ responses while on the ride), and then we just walk away. The moment of anticipation leading up to the big drop was usually longer and more intense than the ride itself.
Not only do people travel all over to find rollercoasters, some people seem to have their emotions perpetually on rollercoasters.
One of the telltale signs of someone with an immature mental health is the way every situation gets blown out of proportion before anything even happens. Then as an event unfolds, their exaggerations continue: the molehills are mountains, every valley is the valley of the shadow of death, the night is a nightmare, the “crisis” is lasting forever, no one has ever gone through what they’re going through, and the list goes on.
To break out of this habit requires us developing emotional capacity. John Maxwell describes it like this: “Emotional capacity is the ability to handle adversity, failure, criticism, change, and pressure in a positive way.” Just as athletes have to develop lung capacity or muscle capacity, developing emotional capacity takes time, patience, and diligence.
Increased emotional capacity is not escaping from our problems or even learning coping skill. Escapism never allows us to confront the things that are keeping our emotional capacity immature. On the other hand, maturing emotional capacity is learning to pause to get perspective so that we can avoid turning every mountain into a molehill, and every challenge into a do-or-die battle.
Let me illustrate this by looking at two emotions which seem to be the most rollercoaster-ish.
(1) The first rollercoaster emotion is anger
Out-of-proportion anger can either burn everyone around us when we explode, or it can eat away inside us if we hold it in. Neither of these are healthy emotional responses. Jesus got angry at the religious crowd that was keeping people away from God’s kingdom, but He didn’t ride the rollercoaster that led to a sinful expression of His anger.
God asked Jonah a very helpful question: Have you any right to be angry? (Jonah 4:4). When we feel the Holy Spirit asking us this question, our defiant first response is almost always, “Yes! I didn’t do anything wrong! It was all him!” Solomon would counsel us to cross-examine that thought (Proverbs 18:17).
Sometimes God will bring someone else across our path to help us pause to get perspective—to flatten the rollercoaster. For instance, God used Abigail to help David (see the story in 1 Samuel 25). However the Holy Spirit cross-examines us, we need to learn to truly listen. James told us:
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (James 1:19-20)
(2) The second rollercoaster emotion is fear
Fear usually causes us to fight or flight. Those are the natural responses, but the supernatural response is to pause to evaluate. I love the reminder that F.E.A.R. means false evidence appearing real.
As with anger, our first pause to get perspective on this potential rollercoaster that can plunge us into a deep, dark valley should be to cross-examine the false evidence of fear.
When the group of ladies came to the tomb of Jesus on the Sunday following His crucifixion, they were already battered and bruised in their emotions. Finding an empty tomb brought even more fear in their hearts. But there is a keyword in this account that will help us:
In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men [angels] said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; He has risen! Remember how He told you, while He was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’” Then they remembered His words. (Luke 24:5-8)
The Holy Spirit can help us remember the truth in God’s Word to counteract the fear-inducing false evidence (2 Timothy 1:7; John 14:26), but we must pause to listen to this evidence before this rollercoaster emotion picks up speed.
The bottom line: Don’t try to escape your strong emotions. Pause. Cross-examine the evidence with the help of God’s Word, the Holy Spirit, and a friend to get a healthy perspective. This can help you flatten the rollercoaster before your emotions run away with you.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
I’ve been called to some challenging leadership roles in my life—many of which made me feel like I was in way over my head! But without a close second, the heaviest mantle I’ve ever felt is the one called “Father.” Holding my firstborn son in my arms was indescribable, and it didn’t feel any lighter or less daunting when our other children arrived.
The rabbis saw something significant in the Ten Commandments. Some people have noted that the first four Commandments are about our vertical relationship with God, while the next six are about our horizontal relationships with people. But the rabbis saw the Fifth Commandment as the linchpin—with parents in a creator-like role and as the first leader our children will be exposed to, and parents taking on the role as the first and most significant instructor for our children to know God for themselves.
And then Jesus tells us to follow this example: “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). Yikes, talk about a heavy weight!
In the only song of ascent attributed to King Solomon (Psalm 127) we read both a longing for our families to be with us at the end of our journey to Zion, but also a hint of the difficulty of this.
In the middle verse of this song, we are assured that our children are given to specific parents by God on purpose. He knew what He was doing in giving them into our care. That means each parent is uniquely equipped for each child’s unique personality, temperament, and gift package.
Twice in the opening verse, Solomon uses the word “unless.” Unless we seek God’s help in building our children and watching over them, our efforts on their own will be “in vain.” That phrase (“in vain”) is used three times in the opening two verses. Solomon wrote a lot about vanity in the Book of Ecclesiastes. But it’s important to note that Solomon always uses this word in association with the phrase “under the sun.” Unless we get help from God—unless we lift our eyes up higher than this earth—our efforts alone will be frustrating and anxiety-inducing.
Remember that parents are the linchpin in the Ten Commandments? Those first four Commandments tell us to put God first, don’t create any idols to rival Him, don’t misuse His name, and trust Him enough to rest from your labors (Exodus 20:1-11). That means that we parents cannot put our kids ahead of God (Luke 14:26). Unless God is our first priority, we won’t have the spiritual, emotional, or mental stamina to parent well. Or, as C.S. Lewis noted,“When I have learned to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.”
In his collection of proverbs, Solomon told us, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Jesus said there is only one sure foundation, and that is knowledge and obedience of God’s Word (Matthew 7:24-27).
The final two verses of Psalm 127 assure parents that when we commit our children to God’s hands, He blesses them and uses them as His weapons, His leaders, and His culture changers.
There is not only a weight in parenting, but there is also a wait in parenting. In the last song of ascent we studied, we learned that we have a promise two times that we will (not “might”) reap a harvest, even if we have to sow seeds in tears (Psalm 126:5-6).
In the Bible, waiting is never passive. It’s an active watching to see how God will move. We see this in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) where the father waited expectantly for his wayward son to return. This Dad had given his son a firm foundation at the start of his life, and then he waited in prayer until his son “came to his senses”—until he realized that all other ways of living away from God were vanity.
In the midst of her prayers for her own prodigal son, Monica shared her concerns with Ambrose, bishop of Milan, and he said, “It cannot be that the son of those tears be lost.” Monica continued to wait for her son Augustine, sowing her seeds in tears but fully expecting the song of joy that would come with the harvest.
Years later, in his autobiography called Confessions, Augustine wrote of his mother, “My mother, Your faithful servant, wept to You for me, shedding more tears for my spiritual death than others shed for the bodily death of a son. You heard her.”
Parents, as you call out to God on behalf of your children, shed those tears in the joy of the anticipated harvest, knowing that God hears you!
If you’ve missed any of the other messages in our series looking at these songs of ascent in the Book of Psalms, you can find them all here.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
King Herod Antipas was the son of King Herod the Great. Herod the Great is the one who tried to kill Jesus shortly after He was born, and in the process murdered numerous infant boys in and around Bethlehem (Matthew 2:16).
Herod Antipas seduced his sister-in-law Herodias (who was married to his brother Philip), who then divorced her husband to marry Antipas, who had also divorced his own wife (Matthew 14:3). This is also the Herod who so desperately wanted to see Jesus perform a miracle (Luke 9:7-9, 23:6-10).
Antipas was no choir boy! And yet he had a strange fascination with spiritual matters. Not only did he want to see Jesus, but he liked hearing John the Baptist preach. At the same time, he hated John’s message that said he was living in sin (Mark 6:17-18; Leviticus 20:21). Herod wanted John dead, but he also feared the backlash from the people who thought John was God’s prophet. Later on, he tried to protect John from death, but in trying to save face with his guests, he had to have John killed (Mark 6:26; Matthew 14:5).
Herod Antipas continually flirted with sin—never killing it, never running away from it. And this eventually caught up with him.
The Gospel of Mark records, “Finally the opportunity came” (Mark 6:21). Herodias’ daughter performed a seductive dance for Herod on his birthday, which cause him to say in front of everyone, “I’ll give you whatever you want.” Prompted by her mother, this young lady seized the opportunity and said, “I want the head of John the Baptist on a platter!” Following in his father’s footsteps, Herod Antipas became a murderer.
If sin is left close, it will kill you. The Bible tells us sin is crouching nearby, always looking for an opportunity, always a part of the devil’s scheming plan to destroy us (Genesis 4:7; Luke 4:13; Ephesians 6:11; 1 Peter 5:8).
Let us not make the same fatal mistake that Herod Antipas made by flirting with our sin instead of killing it. Paul wrote, “So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. … [N]ow is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language” (Colossians 3:5, 8).
Or, as John Owen put it, “Be killing sin, or it will be killing you.”
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
My, my, my, how quickly things can change! Unfortunately, the constant changes usually lead to feelings of instability. Fortunately, Jesus told us the surefire way we could find the stability, security, and confidence we all crave.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Without a doubt, Jesus had the most robust mental health of anyone who has ever walked planet Earth! Dr. Luke, a trained physician, captures this in just one verse (Luke 2:52) where he talks about how Jesus grew in a wholly healthy way, and Luke lists Christ’s mental health as the first priority.
I’m sure there have been plenty of times when someone asks you about something you like or dislike or why you do something the way you do, you probably don’t tell them the facts but you tell them a story. We have a story for everything we like, everything we do, and everything we avoid.
It’s good to rehearse these stories and to really listen to them. If we don’t really listen to them, we cannot learn from them; if we don’t learn from them, we rob ourselves of robust mental health.
From some of our stories, there is a regret that comes from three enemies. These enemies are all tied to our stories about our past and they are would’ve, could’ve, and should’ve—“If only I would’ve…” and “Things would be different today if I could’ve…” and “I should’ve known….”
One of the ways we need to talk back to those thoughts is like this, “I only know the would’ve, could’ve, and should’ve now because I’m older and more experienced. I didn’t know those things in the past so it was impossible for me to have done something differently.” Even the apostle Paul noted, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me” (1 Corinthians 13:11).
If we don’t talk back to those regrets of yesterday, we will have doubts about today: Will I make another mistake today? Do I have what it takes to meet today’s challenges? What will others think of me if I mess up? If we don’t address those doubts we have today, that will cause us worry and stress about tomorrow.
Regret … doubt … worry … stress. Those don’t really sound like words that contribute to positive mental health, do they?
Here’s the thing we need to remember—Learning from our yesterdays is healthy, but trying to relive our yesterdays is both unhealthy and unproductive!
Dr. William Osler said, “If the load of tomorrow is added to that of yesterday and carried today, it will make the strongest falter.”
Four times in just ten verses, Jesus told His followers not to worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:25-34). He ties that worry about tomorrow to having little faith. That lack of faith comes from our doubts, and those doubts come from our past regrets.
T.G.I.F.—thank God it’s Friday!—is an escapism. It’s not wanting to deal with the regrets, doubts, and worry by trying to push them to some distant time. It doesn’t allow us to really concentrate on today. The Bible constantly brings us back to the present.
Today is used 203 times in the NIV Bible
Tomorrow is mentioned 56 times
Yesterday is only used 8 times
Jesus taught us to pray, “Give us today our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11) so that we won’t let past regrets spiral downward into daily doubts and then anxiety about tomorrow. Elizabeth Elliot wisely counseled, “One reason we are so harried and hurried is that we make yesterday and tomorrow our business, when all that legitimately concerns us is today.”
Christians that want to be mentally healthy should continually replace a T.G.I.F. mindset with T.G.I.T.—thank God it’s today!
Taking a line from Joshua who said, “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15), here are four things we need to choose to remember each day.
Choose to remember that God uses all things—even our would’ve, could’ve, and should’ves—for our good and for His glory (Romans 8:28).
Choose to forget those old, self-limiting, stress-causing stories (Philippians 3:13).
Choose to believe that God is doing something new—something I never could have planned (Isaiah 43:18-19).
Choose to believe that God can help you tell a new story about your past (Genesis 41:51).
You have to choose each day to say “Thank God it’s today! Thank God that I’m not who I was yesterday! Thank God that He is using my would’ve-could’ve-should’ve moments from yesterday to prepare me for today! Thank God that He is teaching me a new story!”
If you’ve missed any of the previous messages in our series on a Christian’s mental health, you can find them all here.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Have you ever wondered why the Roman soldiers treated Jesus so cruelly? After all, these are professional soldiers so why are they acting in such an unsoldierly way (see Mark 15:16-20)?
Perhaps they thought that Jesus was just another criminal that was in cahoots with Barabbas—a murderer and insurrectionist. But where would they get that idea? It must have come from the lies and slander that the Sanhedrin were spewing.
Perhaps the soldiers had a low value of all human life. Where would this come from? First from their leadership: particularly the way history tells us that Pontius Pilate treated the Jews. But we can go a little broader because we also know from history the disregard the Romans had for the weak, the young, the sick, and the aged.
The bottom line is this: Anytime there is a departure in even the slightest degree from the Great Commandment—love God, love yourself, and love your neighbor—the resulting society is dark and ugly, with people mistreating others in the most inhumane of ways.
We stand as a check against the decay in societal values. Our high view of God’s power and love, our proper understanding of each person’s worth in God’s sight, and the way we express genuine love for others—especially the weak and marginalized—is a preservative to the moral decay.
It’s so easy to get caught up with the loud voices around us. Pontius Pilate did, the Roman soldiers did, the Sanhedrin did, and the crowds that listened to these leaders did too.
If you are concerned about the moral decay you see in your neighborhood, the movies and music that are released, or the behavior of our elected officials, we must adhere all the more closely to the Great Commandment: Love God with all your being, maintain a healthy self-image in light of God’s love for you, and then love your neighbor—allof your neighbors—in the same way God loves you.
Craig T. Owens 