The Goals Of Confrontation

November 8, 2023 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

Say the word “confrontation” and many people cringe. “I try to avoid confrontations with others,” people will quickly say. 

The origin of the word comes from a derivative of the word for “forehead.” The original intent of confrontation was simply putting the facts in front of someone’s face so that they could acknowledge them. 

The problem for most of us (myself included) is two-fold: 

  1. I don’t like to be confronted with things I may be doing incorrectly or incompletely. 
  2. I don’t like making others defensive when I confront them with the things they may be doing incorrectly or incompletely.

As a result, we usually don’t confront others and they usually don’t confront us. Sadly, this can keep us from maturing in areas where we may be able to soar if we could only make some minor changes. 

Christians should be especially open to confrontation from a brother or sister. After all, Solomon told us, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy only multiplies kisses” (Proverbs 27:6). And Jesus warned us, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for so did their fathers to the false prophets” (Luke 6:26 NKJV). 

The best confrontation is self-confrontation in the presence of the Holy Spirit. After we have submitted to that loving spotlight, then we can proceed with our loving confrontation with our brothers and sisters. 

Remember this: 

The goals of Christian confrontation are restoration and maturity. 

We want to see wandering saints return to God’s path, and we want those saints who are immature to blossom into Christ-like maturity that brings glory to God. 

I have prepared a flowchart that can help you with a biblical framework for the work of confrontation. Please work through this flowchart slowly and prayerfully. Don’t rush any step, but make sure you can answer an honest “yes” to each question. When you get to the last step, keep in mind these three Ms:

  1. Maturity—self-confrontation and confrontation of others should always be moving us toward maturity. 
  2. Mutual accountability—agree to stay involved in this process, with each of you remaining accountable to each other. 
  3. Mercy—mercifully restore the one who has strayed so that the entire Christian body of believers can be strengthened.

Here are some resources to help you:

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Moving Toward Maturity

October 30, 2023 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

Our sixth spiritual discipline—confession—is at the pinnacle of our growth as maturing saints. That’s because many of the other disciplines will culminate in one saint confessing to another saint. Confession not only keeps us strong as individuals, but it keeps the whole Christian community in a strong, healthy place. 

The story has been told about two monks who had woven plenty of baskets to sell in town on market day. On the way to town they devised a strategy where one monk would sell at one end of the market and the other at the opposite end. At the end of the day they would meet at a designated place to go back to the monastery. One monk sold all of his baskets and returned to the meeting place. He waited, and waited, and waited. It wasn’t until the next morning that the second monk appeared. 

“I cannot return to the monastery with you,” he told his waiting friend. “I have committed a terrible sin. I was tempted, and I gave into the temptation and committed fornication last night. I have broken my vows to my brothers and to God, so you will have to go back without me.” 

The first monk listened to his friend and then answered, “Come, my friend. We will go back to the monastery and repent together.” 

He was really saying to his friend, “I can identify, because under the same circumstances I might have done the same thing. Perhaps if I had stayed at your side I could have held you accountable, so I bear mutual responsibility for your stumble.” 

The early church is described in terms of togetherness. James, the early leader of the church in Jerusalem, was a part of this togetherness and used it as an important conclusion to his book of instructions to the saints—

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. … My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins. (James 5:13-16, 19-20) 

James wants the saints to be together in prayer, together in worship, together in confession, and together in rescuing their fellow brothers and sisters. The word he uses for “confession” means an out-loud profession or agreement. When he says, “confess your sins” he uses a word that means a deviation from a standard, or a falling short of God’s word. 

James sees this ongoing confession as a preventative to “a multitude of sins.” In this instance, the word he uses is an outright violation of God’s laws. In other words, the small deviations can add up to something deadly. 

Paul uses a similar idea when he writes, “Let us purify ourselves” (2 Corinthians 7:1). The implication again is that we are confessing both individually and corporately. I can be a huge blessing to my brothers and sisters by going first in confession (Matthew 7:1-5). 

Confession also helps others know they are not alone (1 Corinthians 10:12-13). 

As an individual saint I mature by continually closing the gap between realizing a shortcoming in my life and confessing that shortcoming to God and to another saint. Then as saints together we can love, encourage, help, and hold each other accountable. I have said before that I think confession may be the most under-used resource for Christians to gain power in prayer and victory over falling into temptation! 

In each of our previous five spiritual disciplines I’ve shared a “so that” statement to help us keep perspective of why we need to employ those disciplines. For confession, here’s our focal point: I confess to other saints so that we can be mutually accountable in our growth toward purity and maturity. 

Confession is good for us individually and corporately, so let’s continue to use this to strengthen everyone. 

If you’ve missed the messages covering the other spiritual disciplines, you can find all of them by clicking here. 

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Appointment Vs. Opportunity

October 26, 2023 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

If we’re not careful, we can get so focused on our own appointments that we will miss out on the amazing opportunities God sends our way to show His love to others.

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

Resources mentioned in this video:

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Loving Fighters

October 23, 2023 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

I’ve always loved this stanza from a William Cowper poem:

Restraining prayer, we cease to fight
Prayer makes the Christian’s armor bright
And satan trembles when he sees
The weakest saint upon his knees.

Prayer is indispensable in spiritual warfare! Prayer is where we fight best for those we love. 

Have you ever heard the question, “Are you a lover or a fighter?” I don’t believe this is an either-or answer, both both-and. I’m a fighter because I’m a lover. I love Jesus and I am loved by Jesus.  This fuels my passion to fight for His glory to be seen. This drives me to fight against the powers that keep others from knowing this love for themselves. 

T.M. Moore wrote, “If we want God to bring revival and save the world from its many and increasing troubles, we must give ourselves to extraordinary efforts in prayer before we enter the conflict.” Prayer isn’t preparation for the fight; prayer is the fight that has been lovingly empowered. This is why our fifth spiritual discipline of prayer is so vital. 

As we have seen with giving and fasting, Jesus also has some don’ts and dos for us about praying (Matthew 6:5-8):

  • don’t pray publicly for earthly recognition or human applause (v. 5) 
  • do pray privately (v. 6) 
  • don’t pray robotically—And when you pray, do not heap up phrases—multiply words, repeating the same ones over and over—as the Gentiles do, for they think they will be heard for their much speaking (v. 7 AMP) 
  • do pray intimately (v. 8) 

Jesus practiced what He preached about praying in secret: Jesus was praying in private (Luke 9:18). He must have prayed so differently than anyone else the disciples had ever heard because they asked Him, “Lord, teach us to pray” (Luke 11:1). 

Remember that prayer is the battle—things are happening while I’m praying. 

There is a way I speak to my wife in private that I don’t typically say in public. If I didn’t speak intimately to her in private, others would notice a difference in public. When I do have intimate, private, regular conversations with her, it also shows publicly. 

So too with prayer. The New Testament doesn’t record very many of the prayers of Jesus for us. In fact, many of things we might think of as prayers sound more like commands from Jesus—“Lazarus, come forth,” “Little girl, get up,” “Be clean,” and similar phrases. We see the public display of power because Jesus had been empowered in private by His Father. 

Private prayer is noticed publicly in the lives of the followers of Jesus too (see Acts 4:13; 6:15). 

I don’t pray privately so that I can show off publicly. I pray in intimate privacy so that I can publicly show off Jesus! 

All of our spiritual disciplines are for us individually so that we have something to give corporately. For instance—

As we are built up in private prayer, there is a greater unity in corporate prayer, and Jesus is lifted up for the world to see. We love Jesus and we love others, so we fight for the glory of God and the strengthening of our brothers and sisters. We are loving fighters! 

So let me encourage you to make private, intimate conversation with Jesus a priority in your life. 

If you’ve missed any of the previous spiritual disciplines we’ve covered in this series, you can check them all out here. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials, like this recent video where I explain how God reveals previously-unknown truths to us. ◀︎◀︎

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Fasting Unlocks Feasting

October 16, 2023 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

I find it interesting how many spiritual disciplines have both a physical and spiritual impact on our lives. Bible study, solitude, and giving all have benefits in both the physical and spiritual realms. This is even more apparent in spiritual discipline #4—fasting. 

As we saw with giving last week, fasting is another one of the spiritual activities that Jesus has a cautionary word for us (Matthew 6:16-18). As with giving and praying, Jesus notes that there are only two categories: true fast-ers and hypocrites. Of course, hypocrite means someone simply playing a role—it’s not who they really are. 

In Matthew 9:14-17, Jesus is asked about fasting and He uses some unusual analogies about fabrics and wineskins to teach us two don’ts about fasting:

  1. Don’t fast if you’re not ready for it. Jesus notes that “the unshrunken cloth” will do damage to both the new and old pieces of fabric. This goes back to the get-to vs. have-to attitude we should have about spiritual discipline.
  2. Don’t try to add a new religious practice to a religion-hardened heart. Jesus addresses this using the analogy of new wine ruining old wineskins. 

These fasting thoughts aren’t a teaching that is exclusive to the New Testament, but through the prophet Isaiah, God addressed it in the exact same way (Isaiah 58:5-9). In this passage we can learn the dos about fasting:

  1. Do fast when my heart’s motivation is a hunger for more of God. 
  2. Do fast as the Holy Spirit directs you, not in a formulaic, lifeless ritual. 

I’m not a big fan of diets that are no-no diets because telling people what they cannot eat isn’t a good motivator. But telling people what they can eat brings joy and freedom. 

The insidious nature of junk food is not so much the fat, sugar, and other unhealthy ingredients, but the fact that junk food is really empty calories. Your body needs a certain amount of fuel to operate. Junk food contains calories but lacks nutrients. You eat junk food, your body sends a signal to your brain that you’re no longer hungry, and then you never eat the nutrient-rich food. This is why your Mom may have told you something like, “Broccoli first, then dessert.” 

The Hebrew word for “fast” literally means to cover the mouth, but I think fasting is more than that. Just as we said money was one aspect of giving, so food is one aspect of fasting. The idea behind fasting is to be able to identify the “empty calories” of some of our lifestyle choices so that we can feast on the rich “nutrients” that God has for us. 

Just as junk food with its empty calories keeps us from nutrient-rich food, hours of video games or TV binge watching keeps us from mind-enriching learning, endless social media scrolling keeps us from developing real relationships with real people, and obsessive news gathering keeps us from focusing on God’s promises.

Periodically fasting from these things will allow us to spot the junk food we’ve been consuming. Our so that statement for this spiritual discipline says: I fast so that I can identify the junk food that is keeping me from feasting on Jesus. 

Can I give you a brief assignment for this spiritual discipline? After making sure your heart attitude about fasting is God-honoring, add regular fasting to your life so that you can use that time to feast on Jesus. 

If you’ve missed any of the other messages in this series on six empowering spiritual disciplines, you can check them out by clicking here. 

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The Joy Of Giving

October 9, 2023 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

In our series on six important spiritual disciplines, our key phrase is “so that”—

  • I get stronger so that we can get stronger. 
  • For discipline #1: I study my Bible so that I have something to apply to my life. 
  • For discipline #2: I take time for solitude so that I can respond in a God-glorifying way in stressful situations. 

Our third spiritual discipline makes people nervous: Giving. So perhaps if I give you the “so that” up front that will help you stick with me. Here it is: I practice the spiritual discipline of giving so that I can encourage others and experience God’s greater blessings. 

Jesus has a caution about giving: Don’t give to get earthly recognition (Matthew 6:1-4). He states this with two don’ts and one do:

  • do not announce your giving 
  • do not calculate or reckon your reward for giving
  • do expect God’s reward for your giving

The stark contrast is seen between Joseph Barnabas and Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 4:34-5:4. Barnabas gave everything he had received from the sale of a piece of property without expecting anything in return. Ananias and Sapphira pretended to give everything they had received from the sale of a piece of property fully expecting some sort of recognition. The results are just as stark and clear: Barnabas was honored by both the church and God, while Ananias and Sapphira were severely punished by God. 

When Jesus tells us in Matthew 6 that our giving should be in “secret,” He clearly doesn’t mean that no one knows that we have given. Clearly, in our examples in Acts, people knew that Barnabas had given money to the church. 

In two of his public letters, Paul gave public thanks to the church at Philippi for their financial gifts to him, and he called out the church at Corinth for their failure to give as they had promised they were going to (Philippians 4:10; 2 Corinthians 8:11). 

Paul noted that the Philippians gave because they knew there was a need, and Paul praised them for this and told them that they would see God’s reward for their generosity (Philippians 4:10-20). We can see our “so that” idea here: Paul was encouraged, he said that the Philippians would have all their needs met, and God was glorified. 

Paul used this example of the Philippians as an encouragement to the Corinthians (see 2 Corinthians 8:1-12, 9:5-8). Paul encouraged them to make sure they had a “get to” attitude about giving, not a “have to” obligation. He noted that God blesses the cheerful, get-to giver. 

Notice how similar the blessings of God sound to these two churches: 

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8) 

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19) 

When the Bible talks about giving, it is never restricted to money, although that is part of it. The Bible talks about giving in three categories. We could call these The three Ts—

  1. Treasure—our tithes and offerings.
  2. Time—giving our service to those in need. 
  3. Talent—using the abilities God has given each believer to build up the Kingdom of God.  

How much of our treasure, time, and talent should we give? We should never look for the bare minimum, but we should be lavish givers. C.S. Lewis said it this way in his book Mere Christianity:

“I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusements, etc., is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little. If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charities expenditure excludes them.”

For myself, I am trying to think of spiritual discipline #3 as this prayerful declaration: 

I will allow the Holy Spirit to show me how much of my time, talent, and treasure I am privileged to invest in the Kingdom of God. I will gladly do this so that God will meet all my needs here, He will reward me in Heaven, and other saints will be encouraged by my giving. 

I hope you will join me in making this your declaration as well. 

If you have missed any of the messages in our series called Saints Together, you can find the full list of messages by clicking here. 

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Save Your Breath

September 20, 2023 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.

I know you want to lash out against those evil people who come at you—just to say something that will “put them in their place.” 

I get it. I feel like that at times too. 

But pause. 

Think about the last rain storm that came your way. The rain beat down on your roof and the wind blew against the walls of your house. You knew that there was no reason to yell at the rain because you were safe in your house. You also knew that yelling at the wind and the rain wouldn’t do a thing to it. 

Isaiah describes the breath of ruthless, wicked people as “a rain storm against a wall.” The wicked may rain on you, but you have an unshakable house.

Recall the words of Jesus—

Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. (Matthew 7:24-25)

When you abide in Jesus—when His words are the foundation of your life—you are safe and secure. There is no reason to fret about the breath of the ruthless, there is no reason to lash out at them. In fact, there might not be any reason to speak to them at all.

The stormy breath of the wicked will eventually give out. Their power has a limit. But you are secure inside the Limitless One, the Omnipotent One! The One who is eternal will never run out of strength and love for you. 

Let the evildoers rage, but you can save your breath. Instead of using your breath to respond to their howling words, use your breath to praise the One who holds you securely forever!

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Give Yourself Grace

September 19, 2023 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

If you are going to keep growing in a heathy way, you’re going to have to give yourself some more grace.

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

Resources mentioned in this video:

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Last Place

September 6, 2023 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

I was sitting with a couple of ladies in our school district who were trying to figure out the logistics for a food distribution program. I was offering them a couple of suggestions when one of them asked me, “Have you ever had any experience with something like this?” 

I told her that I had, and then she responded, “But this is going to be pretty big. Probably about 40 families.” 

I smiled and told her that the food distribution program I helped coordinate fed nearly 5000 people. 

She said, “Well, I guess we don’t have to worry anymore!” And from then on, whenever any logistical concerns came up, these ladies confidently handed off the situation to me. Once they knew that I had some relevant experience, they didn’t have any more moments of questioning. 

Unlike Jesus, I didn’t create all of the food from a few loaves and fish. I simply organized the distribution of the food others had donated. I am glad these ladies had confidence in me, but at the same time, I had to guard my heart against the pride that can so easily puff up my ego.

Can you imagine if you were one of the disciples of Jesus, and had seen all of the miraculous things He had done and heard all of the profound things that He had said, and then still had the audacity to ask, “Who is the greatest”?! 

And yet that is exactly what they did (Mark 9:33-35). 

How in the world could they argue about something like this when Jesus was right there with them? Maybe this thought finally sunk in a little because later on they pivoted a bit in their argument to ask who was the greatest after Jesus (Matthew 20:20-28). 

Jesus minced no words and left nothing vague in His answer: “Anyone wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all” (Mark 9:34). 

This is exactly what Jesus embodied. He literally lived and died to prove that the highest greatness is measured by the lowest of servanthood. 

…Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to His own advantage; rather, He made Himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a Cross! (Philippians 2:5-8)

The very last. Jesus made Himself nothing.

Not above some and beneath some, but the servant of all. 

A mark of a godly leader is one who strives to be last.

Not: “I am second.” But: “I am last.” 

This is not just a declaration, but it is a declaration followed by a lifetime of submitting and serving. Not trying to lead others, but trying to out-serve all. 

This is part 74 in my series on godly leadership. You can check out all of my posts in this series by clicking here.

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Ready To Love

August 29, 2023 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

Every day you will be around people who are in need of love. Are you ready to love them? Two examples from the life of Jesus show us how to be ready.

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

Resources to go along with this podcast:

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials, like this recent post about building trust. ◀︎◀︎

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