The Goals Of Confrontation

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Say the word “confrontation” and many people cringe. “I try to avoid confrontations with others,” people will quickly say. 

The origin of the word comes from a derivative of the word for “forehead.” The original intent of confrontation was simply putting the facts in front of someone’s face so that they could acknowledge them. 

The problem for most of us (myself included) is two-fold: 

  1. I don’t like to be confronted with things I may be doing incorrectly or incompletely. 
  2. I don’t like making others defensive when I confront them with the things they may be doing incorrectly or incompletely.

As a result, we usually don’t confront others and they usually don’t confront us. Sadly, this can keep us from maturing in areas where we may be able to soar if we could only make some minor changes. 

Christians should be especially open to confrontation from a brother or sister. After all, Solomon told us, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy only multiplies kisses” (Proverbs 27:6). And Jesus warned us, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for so did their fathers to the false prophets” (Luke 6:26 NKJV). 

The best confrontation is self-confrontation in the presence of the Holy Spirit. After we have submitted to that loving spotlight, then we can proceed with our loving confrontation with our brothers and sisters. 

Remember this: 

The goals of Christian confrontation are restoration and maturity. 

We want to see wandering saints return to God’s path, and we want those saints who are immature to blossom into Christ-like maturity that brings glory to God. 

I have prepared a flowchart that can help you with a biblical framework for the work of confrontation. Please work through this flowchart slowly and prayerfully. Don’t rush any step, but make sure you can answer an honest “yes” to each question. When you get to the last step, keep in mind these three Ms:

  1. Maturity—self-confrontation and confrontation of others should always be moving us toward maturity. 
  2. Mutual accountability—agree to stay involved in this process, with each of you remaining accountable to each other. 
  3. Mercymercifully restore the one who has strayed so that the entire Christian body of believers can be strengthened.

Here are some resources to help you:

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The Great Attitude Of Gratitude

There’s something about gratitude that distinguishes people. Think about it: would you rather hang around with grumblers or grateful people? 

The gratitude of Paul and Silas certainly made them stand out from the crowd when they were in Philippi. Wrongly accused, beaten, and thrown in prison, but instead of bellyaching, they were praising God. Later on, when Paul wrote his letter to the Christians in Philippi, the theme of gratefulness permeates his letter. 

The distinguishing mark is actually in the title: The GReat ATTITUDE spells out GRATITUDE! 

Join us this Sunday as we rejoin a series of messages perfectly timed for this season of Thanksgiving where we’ll be learning how great the attitude of gratitude truly is! We would love to have you join us in person, but you can also check out the messages at 10:30 each Sunday morning on Facebook and YouTube. 

You can check out the messages we shared in this series last year by clicking here.

If you’ve missed any of the messages this year, you will be able to check them out here:

How To Be Thankful Everyday

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

I learned an important message about thankfulness from an Indiana Jones movie!

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

Some resources to go along with this video:

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials, like this exclusive video in which I take my supporters behind the scenes of my thought process in designing my confrontation flowchart. ◀︎◀︎

The Best Way To De-Stress

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Of all the things that rob a Christian of peace and robust mental health, stress has to be near the top of the list. There are so many stressors in our lives that to not find a way to actively de-stress is to choose to remain stressed. This is sort of like fertilizing the weeds, as we learned in our second mental health strategy. 

A certain amount of stress is good for us—doctors call this eustress. Our bodies have been designed by God with a hormone called cortisol that helps us respond to stressful situations, and He also designed that the unused cortisol be flushed from our bodies as we sleep and exercise. However, when we become stressed, many times sleep and exercise are squeezed out of our lives. 

Men’s Health magazine reported, “You personally may dictate when you’ll die. After studying 1633 men for 30 years, Purdue scientists found that worrying takes 16 years off your life. Negative thinking triggers the release of cortisol, a stress hormone that can be dangerous when elevated for long periods of time.” 

The eustress can degrade into distress if we’re not attentive to this downward slide. The excess cortisol that is allowed to remain in our bodies leads to unhealthy responses—like sleeplessness, starvation or binge eating, and little to no exercise. These unhealthy factors are further exacerbated by our diminished coping skills that come from the damage done to the hippocampus in our brain. Lingering cortisol kills the neurons in this memory center of our brains, which makes it harder for us to recall past lessons that could help us resolve stress. 

Sadly, distress can become its own downward cycle as the unhealthy responses and diminished coping skills negatively impact our lives, creating even more stressors. 

Stress makes us:

  1. Self-focused 
  2. Short-sighted 
  3. Stingy with our time, possessions, and even God’s promises 

But there is a word of hope for us. William James noted, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” 

I want to give you one thought—one word, one action—to combat stress: Bless. 

Blessing others takes the focus off myself. Blessing God puts the focus on Him. 

In the Gospels, we see people who had suffered the ravages of stress, encounter Jesus, find freedom, and then begin to bless others as a preventative to returning to their stress-filled lives. We can see a few examples in healed women, a man delivered from demons, and a woman who had lived a less-than-virtuous life (Luke 8:1-3, 26-39; 7:36-50). 

Frequently, the Old Testament psalmists shared how blessing God and others brought them out of their stressful situations. A great example comes from David when he chose to bless God in a stressful place, and ended up being a blessing to other afflicted people around him (Psalm 34:1-6). 

When you feel stress mounting, you need to get active. Feelings follow actions. We usually won’t feel ourselves into action, but we can act ourselves into feelings. 

The best way to de-stress is to bless! 

As we bless, look at the shifts that take place: 

  1. Instead of remaining self-focused we become others-focused 
  2. Instead of being short-sighted we get a big-picture orientation 
  3. Instead of being stingy with our possessions and God’s promises we become generous

Remember that in the distress cycle I mentioned earlier the brain cells in the hippocampus were being damaged? The excess cortisol literally kills those neurons. The good news is that the hippocampus is one of the few places in the brain that experiences neurogenesis after cortisol is flushed. When you replace stressing with blessing, and the cortisol is regularly flushed from your body, brain cells are regenerated in your hippocampus. In essence, you are developing both a new brain and a new mind. 

The apostle Paul wrote, “Put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24 NKJV). 

Don’t let stress steal life from your years and years from your life. De-stress by blessing God and blessing those around you. 

If you’ve missed any of the previous eight mental health strategies that I have shared in this series, you can find them all by clicking here. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials, like this exclusive video in which I take my supporters behind the scenes of my thought process in designing my confrontation flowchart. ◀︎◀︎

Links & Quotes

Healthy leaders look in the mirror first before they confront a teammate on something that needs to change. Check out the full conversation Greg and I had on The Craig and Greg Show about defeating the two-headed leadership killer of ignorance and arroganceI have lots of new content every week, which you can check out on my YouTube channel.

“I am often, I believe, praying for others when I should be doing things for them. It’s so much easier to pray for a bore than to go and see him.” —C.S. Lewis, Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” —William James

The most empowered and empowering person is the one who remains in Jesus.

“Whereas three or more incidents of intense stress within a year (say, serious financial trouble, being fired, or a divorce) triple the death rate in socially isolated middle-aged men, they have no impact whatsoever on the death rate of men who cultivate many close relationships.” —Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis & Annie McKee, Primal Leadership

T.M. Moore has an outstanding series of posts on how Christians should interact with the governments in the lands in which they live. I highly recommend this series to you. T.M. wrote, “We have seen that justice is a jewel of many facets. In its obligatory facet, justice requires that we love our neighbors simply because they are made in the image of God. We must regard them, and do with them, as we wish to be regarded and done with ourselves. In its preventive facet, justice demands that we use forethought in all our actions to make sure, as far as possible, that our neighbor or his property is not injured by what we do. Distributive justice encourages us to share generously with our neighbors and others in need. Restorative justice comes into play when the balance of neighbor love has become disturbed and the one guilty of disturbing it is required to set things right again. Each of these forms of justice, grounded in the Law of God, is very much a part of life in our society today. It is simply mindless or prejudicial to insist that we should have no input from Scripture or the Law of God, either in the public square or in the making of public policy. Our nation was founded on Biblical principles of justice, and to deny this is to rewrite history past and to put in jeopardy history to come.”

The Greek word translated as “consider” in Hebrews 3:1 means to observe closely, to consider attentively, to fix your eyes or mind upon it. In its context, this verb is usually directing us to the end result of being in awe, kindling a renewed faith, and being rejuvenated with a new resolve to move forward. This is what happens especially when we consider Jesus❣️

Can’t, Won’t, or Don’t

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I think it is very instructive that Jesus began His three years of public ministry after thirty years of preparation, and that He began His daily ministry after an early-morning prayer session. If Jesus needed that kind of preparation time, what would make us think we could do with anything less?

Karl Vaters and I discussed Chapter 10 of my book Shepherd Leadership which is entitled “Can’t, Won’t, or Don’t” This chapter (and our conversation) covers the three main reasons leaders need to address to make sure they are being adequately prepared.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. Like this recent post where I shared a map and an app to help with your Bible study time. ◀︎◀︎

The Lens For Difficult Biblical Passages

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If you’ve ever found sections of the Bible difficult to understand, I’ve got a few thoughts to help you out.

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

Resources mentioned in this video:

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials, like this recent video where I explain how God reveals previously-unknown truths to us. Become a supporter today and get instant access to everything I have already shared with my supporters. ◀︎◀︎

Moving Toward Maturity

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Our sixth spiritual discipline—confession—is at the pinnacle of our growth as maturing saints. That’s because many of the other disciplines will culminate in one saint confessing to another saint. Confession not only keeps us strong as individuals, but it keeps the whole Christian community in a strong, healthy place. 

The story has been told about two monks who had woven plenty of baskets to sell in town on market day. On the way to town they devised a strategy where one monk would sell at one end of the market and the other at the opposite end. At the end of the day they would meet at a designated place to go back to the monastery. One monk sold all of his baskets and returned to the meeting place. He waited, and waited, and waited. It wasn’t until the next morning that the second monk appeared. 

“I cannot return to the monastery with you,” he told his waiting friend. “I have committed a terrible sin. I was tempted, and I gave into the temptation and committed fornication last night. I have broken my vows to my brothers and to God, so you will have to go back without me.” 

The first monk listened to his friend and then answered, “Come, my friend. We will go back to the monastery and repent together.” 

He was really saying to his friend, “I can identify, because under the same circumstances I might have done the same thing. Perhaps if I had stayed at your side I could have held you accountable, so I bear mutual responsibility for your stumble.” 

The early church is described in terms of togetherness. James, the early leader of the church in Jerusalem, was a part of this togetherness and used it as an important conclusion to his book of instructions to the saints—

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. … My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins. (James 5:13-16, 19-20) 

James wants the saints to be together in prayer, together in worship, together in confession, and together in rescuing their fellow brothers and sisters. The word he uses for “confession” means an out-loud profession or agreement. When he says, “confess your sins” he uses a word that means a deviation from a standard, or a falling short of God’s word. 

James sees this ongoing confession as a preventative to “a multitude of sins.” In this instance, the word he uses is an outright violation of God’s laws. In other words, the small deviations can add up to something deadly. 

Paul uses a similar idea when he writes, “Let us purify ourselves” (2 Corinthians 7:1). The implication again is that we are confessing both individually and corporately. I can be a huge blessing to my brothers and sisters by going first in confession (Matthew 7:1-5). 

Confession also helps others know they are not alone (1 Corinthians 10:12-13). 

As an individual saint I mature by continually closing the gap between realizing a shortcoming in my life and confessing that shortcoming to God and to another saint. Then as saints together we can love, encourage, help, and hold each other accountable. I have said before that I think confession may be the most under-used resource for Christians to gain power in prayer and victory over falling into temptation! 

In each of our previous five spiritual disciplines I’ve shared a “so that” statement to help us keep perspective of why we need to employ those disciplines. For confession, here’s our focal point: I confess to other saints so that we can be mutually accountable in our growth toward purity and maturity. 

Confession is good for us individually and corporately, so let’s continue to use this to strengthen everyone. 

If you’ve missed the messages covering the other spiritual disciplines, you can find all of them by clicking here. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials, like this recent video where I explain how God reveals previously-unknown truths to us. ◀︎◀︎

Links & Quotes

The Holy Spirit loves to give us those “lightbulb moments” when the Word of God almost leaps off the page! I have lots of new content every week, which you can check out on my YouTube channel.

It has long been believed that some migratory animals use the earth’s magnetic force to help them navigate. Some researchers discovered that moths can see both the magnetic fields and the stars to plot their course. The lead researcher wrote, “If you have this tiny insect with a brain a tenth the volume of a grain of rice and eyes smaller than a pinhead, that they can do this is surprising.” The protein in their eyes that allow them to do this is unevolved—it’s always been there, implant from the beginning by our awesome Creator!

In the God Speaks Science reading plan on YouVersion, John Von Sloten wrote, “Creation is God’s first book. To read it we need science. Science is not the enemy of the Christian faith; it’s an ally! … We need to read biblical creation references with the Author’s omniscience and original intent in mind. To do that, we need science. … What if you try to connect the next scientific truth you encounter to an attribute of our ever-near God? If everything comes from God’s mind, then everything has something to say about God’s nature.”

Competitive leaders need to keep both winning and losing in perspective. Check out the full conversation Greg and I had about competition on The Craig and Greg Show.

I love studying the archeological discoveries that confirm the historicity of the Bible. Check out this compilation of the kings of Judah and Israel from The Bible Archeology Report. You may also be interested in this side-by-side chart I created of the timelines of these kings.

“Men of peace must not think about retribution or recrimination. Courageous people do not fear forgiving.” —Nelson Mandela

“Leaders inspire others because they are inspired by others.” —John Maxwell

“The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.” —Teddy Roosevelt

Appointment Vs. Opportunity

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

If we’re not careful, we can get so focused on our own appointments that we will miss out on the amazing opportunities God sends our way to show His love to others.

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

Resources mentioned in this video:

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials, like this recent video where I explain how God reveals previously-unknown truths to us. ◀︎◀︎