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It would be nice if complainers were satisfied just complaining to themselves, but they’re not. Do you know the cliché misery loves company? It’s just as true for complainers: They really want others to join them in their bellyaching!
I think a good word for what these negative people do is ambush. The dictionary says that means to lie in wait with hostile intent. Jesus told His followers that this ambushing behavior was going to happen. In Luke 6:22, He uses the word “when” not “if”—
Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.
We see this vividly portrayed in the life of Daniel. This man had done nothing but helpful things since the moment he arrived in Babylon. He faithfully served foreign kings, never wanted any recognition for himself, saved lives, interpreted dreams, and explained confusing things. He had a great work ethic and impeccable integrity. But the complainers still wanted to ambush him (see Daniel 6:1-5).
One psalmist described these ambushers in terms of a hunting lion: His mouth is full of lies and threats; trouble and evil are under his tongue. He lies in wait near the villages; from ambush he murders the innocent. His eyes watch in secret for his victims (Psalm 10:7-8).
Doesn’t this sound like what the devil does too? Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8).
Jerusalem was surrounded by three armies that were lying in wait to ambush the Israelites. After God told the people of Jerusalem that He would deliver them, King Jehoshaphat sent out his army with the worshippers at the front of the ranks. Then listen to how worship not only thwarted the ambushers but boomeranged their evil plans back on themselves—
As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated. The Ammonites and Moabites rose up against the men from Mount Seir to destroy and annihilate them. After they finished slaughtering the men from Seir, they helped to destroy one another. (2 Chronicles 20:22-23)
When we worship God and sing our grateful praise to Him, we put the sword of God in our mouths. And there isn’t a more effective sword against the darkness than the (S)Word of God (Hebrews 4:12; Revelation 1:16; Ephesians 6:17)!
Paul told the church at Colosse that singing our praise to God with other saints was an encouragement to all who heard those worshipful songs (Colossians 3:15-17).
So when the ambushers are surrounding you, use your thankful songs as a shield, as a sword, and as an encouragement to others!
If you’ve missed any of the other messages in our series The Great Attitude of Gratitude, you can find them all here.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
An expert in Jewish law asked Jesus, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?”
Jesus, knowing this man was an expert in the law, turned the question back on him, “What do you think is written in the law about this?”
This man quoted to Jesus two passages in the mosaic law, and Jesus told him, “You have answered correctly. If you do that you will have eternal life.”
The two things he quoted were loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving your neighbor as yourself. But then comes an interesting phrase. Luke writes that, “He wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbor?’” This tells me that this expert in the law was trying to figure out the least that he could do to be approved by God.
In answer to his question, Jesus told the story that we now refer to as the parable of the good Samaritan. The Samaritan didn’t measure his love by the least he could do, and he didn’t limit himself to doing only what was comfortable or convenient. In fact, he didn’t measure his response at all—he simply did what was needed without any thought of the cost.
We often use WWJD to ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?”
Since Jesus embodied love, maybe a more clarifying question would be WWLD—What would love do?
Maybe we could combine this with the Golden Rule. If I was in need, how would I want my neighbor to treat me? Then, as Jesus said to the expert in the law, “Go and do likewise to all your neighbors.” This is what pleases God and glorifies Jesus.
(Read this whole account for yourself in Luke 10:25-37.)
Perhaps a good prayer for us would be: Heavenly Father, I want to love the way Jesus loved. Help me to do what Love would do in all my interactions with my neighbors today. Father, be glorified in my neighborly responses today. I want to follow the example Jesus gave me, so I pray this prayer in His name. Amen.
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Gratitude is a great attitude. It sets you apart from the crowd of complainers, and it causes people to ask, “What do you know that we don’t know?”
Wouldn’t you just love to silence the complainers in your life? Maybe you can relate to this poem by Shel Silverstein called Complainin’ Jack—
This morning my old jack-in-the-box
Popped out—and wouldn’t get back-in-the-box.
He cried, “Hey, there’s a tack-in-the-box,
And it’s cutting me through and through.
“There also is a crack-in-the-box,
And I never find a snack-in-the-box,
And sometimes I hear a quack-in-the-box,
‘Cause a duck lives in here too.”
Complain, complain is all he did—
I finally had to close the lid.
Since, as Christians, we can’t really “close the lid” on the complaining people around us, maybe there’s something else we can do. I can think of three possibilities.
We could entirely avoid complaining people. But to do this wouldn’t allow us to live our lives as the salt and light Jesus called us to (Matthew 5:13-16). After all, in order for salt to season or light to drive away darkness, the salt and light have to be in close proximity to those they are helping.
We could simply ignore the negativity. Be around it, but do nothing about it. But both Paul and Jesus call us to engage with people in a way that points them to the Good News of the Gospel (Philippians 2:14-16; Matthew 28:19).
If we cannot avoid complainers nor remain apathetic about them, we must find a way to engage them but protect our hearts in the process.
We learn from the apostle Paul’s letter to Philippi that gratitude is our shield against anything that would seek to steal our joy! “Further, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you” (Philippians 3:1).
In the Greek, the root word for “safeguard” means “fail.” But when we add the prefix it becomes cannot fail! So rejoicing makes us secure, firm, reliable.
Quite simply that means that gratitude is our attitude protector because gratitude is our shield against anything that would seek to steal our joy!
Jesus used the same word for rejoicing even when we are facing insults, exclusion, and persecution—
Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets. (Luke 6:22-23)
Both Jesus in this passage and Paul in Philippians 3:1 remind us that our rejoicing is IN the Lord. We are not expected to rejoice in our circumstances, but in who God is for us. Matthew Henry noted, “The more we rejoice in Christ the more willing we shall be to do and to suffer for Him, and the less danger we shall be in of being drawn away from Him.”
I also like both the proactive and reactive use of rejoicing that John Henry Jowett identifies when he says, “Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic.” Rejoicing is never supposed to be a one-and-done action, but it is an ongoing lifestyle. As Paul wrote to the Christians in Philippi just a few verses later, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4).
Gratitude is a shield—a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic—but it doesn’t protect us unless we use it!
In order to use this shield whenever it’s needed, we have to be constantly reminded to be grateful. This is where we can leverage the power of our brain’s reticular activating system. I shared a short video about how to do this on The Podcast last week—check it out here.
Gratitude is a great attitude, and grateful people are a winsome testimony of God’s love and provision to those “complainin’ Jacks” we all encounter. Try it and see what a difference it will make with those you are around this week.
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Say the word “confrontation” and many people cringe. “I try to avoid confrontations with others,” people will quickly say.
The origin of the word comes from a derivative of the word for “forehead.” The original intent of confrontation was simply putting the facts in front of someone’s face so that they could acknowledge them.
The problem for most of us (myself included) is two-fold:
I don’t like to be confronted with things I may be doing incorrectly or incompletely.
I don’t like making others defensive when I confront them with the things they may be doing incorrectly or incompletely.
As a result, we usually don’t confront others and they usually don’t confront us. Sadly, this can keep us from maturing in areas where we may be able to soar if we could only make some minor changes.
Christians should be especially open to confrontation from a brother or sister. After all, Solomon told us, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy only multiplies kisses” (Proverbs 27:6). And Jesus warned us, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for so did their fathers to the false prophets” (Luke 6:26 NKJV).
The best confrontation is self-confrontation in the presence of the Holy Spirit. After we have submitted to that loving spotlight, then we can proceed with our loving confrontation with our brothers and sisters.
Remember this:
The goals of Christian confrontation are restoration and maturity.
We want to see wandering saints return to God’s path, and we want those saints who are immature to blossom into Christ-like maturity that brings glory to God.
I have prepared a flowchart that can help you with a biblical framework for the work of confrontation. Please work through this flowchart slowly and prayerfully. Don’t rush any step, but make sure you can answer an honest “yes” to each question. When you get to the last step, keep in mind these three Ms:
Maturity—self-confrontation and confrontation of others should always be moving us toward maturity.
Mutual accountability—agree to stay involved in this process, with each of you remaining accountable to each other.
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Of all the things that rob a Christian of peace and robust mental health, stress has to be near the top of the list. There are so many stressors in our lives that to not find a way to actively de-stress is to choose to remain stressed. This is sort of like fertilizing the weeds, as we learned in our second mental health strategy.
A certain amount of stress is good for us—doctors call this eustress. Our bodies have been designed by God with a hormone called cortisol that helps us respond to stressful situations, and He also designed that the unused cortisol be flushed from our bodies as we sleep and exercise. However, when we become stressed, many times sleep and exercise are squeezed out of our lives.
Men’s Health magazine reported, “You personally may dictate when you’ll die. After studying 1633 men for 30 years, Purdue scientists found that worrying takes 16 years off your life. Negative thinking triggers the release of cortisol, a stress hormone that can be dangerous when elevated for long periods of time.”
The eustress can degrade into distress if we’re not attentive to this downward slide. The excess cortisol that is allowed to remain in our bodies leads to unhealthy responses—like sleeplessness, starvation or binge eating, and little to no exercise. These unhealthy factors are further exacerbated by our diminished coping skills that come from the damage done to the hippocampus in our brain. Lingering cortisol kills the neurons in this memory center of our brains, which makes it harder for us to recall past lessons that could help us resolve stress.
Sadly, distress can become its own downward cycle as the unhealthy responses and diminished coping skills negatively impact our lives, creating even more stressors.
Stress makes us:
Self-focused
Short-sighted
Stingy with our time, possessions, and even God’s promises
But there is a word of hope for us. William James noted, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”
I want to give you one thought—one word, one action—to combat stress: Bless.
Blessing others takes the focus off myself. Blessing God puts the focus on Him.
In the Gospels, we see people who had suffered the ravages of stress, encounter Jesus, find freedom, and then begin to bless others as a preventative to returning to their stress-filled lives. We can see a few examples in healed women, a man delivered from demons, and a woman who had lived a less-than-virtuous life (Luke 8:1-3, 26-39; 7:36-50).
Frequently, the Old Testament psalmists shared how blessing God and others brought them out of their stressful situations. A great example comes from David when he chose to bless God in a stressful place, and ended up being a blessing to other afflicted people around him (Psalm 34:1-6).
Instead of remaining self-focused we become others-focused
Instead of being short-sighted we get a big-picture orientation
Instead of being stingy with our possessions and God’s promises we become generous
Remember that in the distress cycle I mentioned earlier the brain cells in the hippocampus were being damaged? The excess cortisol literally kills those neurons. The good news is that the hippocampus is one of the few places in the brain that experiences neurogenesis after cortisol is flushed. When you replace stressing with blessing, and the cortisol is regularly flushed from your body, brain cells are regenerated in your hippocampus. In essence, you are developing both a new brain and a new mind.
The apostle Paul wrote, “Put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24 NKJV).
Don’t let stress steal life from your years and years from your life. De-stress by blessing God and blessing those around you.
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If we’re not careful, we can get so focused on our own appointments that we will miss out on the amazing opportunities God sends our way to show His love to others.
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It had been a long, fruitless night of fishing for Peter, Andrew, and their fishing partners. They came back to shore and began to wash their nets which had caught nothing all night long.
As they washed their nets, no doubt contemplating how they were going to make ends meet without any fish to sell in the marketplace, they listened to an itinerant Preacher. This Man was fascinating to listen to as He talked about Scripture in a way none had ever heard.
The crowds listening to Him swelled in size—almost spellbound by His kindness and wisdom—until the Preacher had no place left to stand on the shore. Turning to Peter, the Preacher said, “Peter, my name is Jesus. Would you allow Me to stand in your boat so I can continue to speak to all of these good people?”
Peter welcomed Him onto his ship and pushed out a little ways from shore. There he sat and continued to listen with growing amazement at the way this Man taught. It was unlike anything Peter had heard from any other rabbi.
When Jesus concluded His sermon and dismissed the crowds, He turned to Peter and said, “Thank you for helping Me. I know it’s been a tough night for you. If you will sail back out to deeper waters, you will be able to let down your nets for a huge catch.”
Peter smiled and said, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught a thing. I doubt we will be able to catch anything now.” For a brief moment, Peter contemplated rowing Jesus back to shore, but those words he had heard Jesus speaking were still resonating in his heart, bringing to life a faith he hadn’t known.
Almost before he realized he was speaking the words, Peter said, “But because You say so, I will obey.”
No sooner had Peter and Andrew let their nets down into the deep water, than they caught so many fish that their nets almost began to break. They shouted to their partners for help. Even with their combined efforts, the amount of fish they caught nearly sunk their boats! (See Luke 5:1-11.)
What an example Peter has given me!
It may seem illogical, unconventional, counter-cultural, scary, or embarrassing. But because You say so, I will obey.
I may lose friends, lose “face,” lose position, lose money, or lose possessions. But because You say so, I will obey.
I may feel afraid, uncertain, unclear, confused, or skeptical. But because You say so, I will obey.
It’s only in my obedience that I can see Your power, Your lordship, Your wisdom, Your blessing, and Your glory.So because You say so, I will obey.
Jesus, You said, “Anyone who loves Me will obey Me” (John 14:23). I do love You, Jesus. No matter what it is, because You say so, I will obey.
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I’ve always loved this stanza from a William Cowper poem:
Restraining prayer, we cease to fight
Prayer makes the Christian’s armor bright
And satan trembles when he sees
The weakest saint upon his knees.
Prayer is indispensable in spiritual warfare! Prayer is where we fight best for those we love.
Have you ever heard the question, “Are you a lover or a fighter?” I don’t believe this is an either-or answer, both both-and. I’m a fighter because I’m a lover. I love Jesus and I am loved by Jesus.This fuels my passion to fight for His glory to be seen. This drives me to fight against the powers that keep others from knowing this love for themselves.
T.M. Moore wrote, “If we want God to bring revival and save the world from its many and increasing troubles, we must give ourselves to extraordinary efforts in prayer before we enter the conflict.” Prayer isn’t preparation for the fight; prayer is the fight that has been lovingly empowered. This is why our fifth spiritual discipline of prayer is so vital.
As we have seen with giving and fasting, Jesus also has some don’ts and dos for us about praying (Matthew 6:5-8):
don’t pray publicly for earthly recognition or human applause (v. 5)
do pray privately (v. 6)
don’t pray robotically—And when you pray, do not heap up phrases—multiply words, repeating the same ones over and over—as the Gentiles do, for they think they will be heard for their much speaking (v. 7 AMP)
do pray intimately (v. 8)
Jesus practiced what He preached about praying in secret: Jesus was praying in private (Luke 9:18). He must have prayed so differently than anyone else the disciples had ever heard because they asked Him, “Lord, teach us to pray” (Luke 11:1).
There is a way I speak to my wife in private that I don’t typically say in public. If I didn’t speak intimately to her in private, others would notice a difference in public. When I do have intimate, private, regular conversations with her, it also shows publicly.
So too with prayer. The New Testament doesn’t record very many of the prayers of Jesus for us. In fact, many of things we might think of as prayers sound more like commands from Jesus—“Lazarus, come forth,” “Little girl, get up,” “Be clean,” and similar phrases. We see the public display of power because Jesus had been empowered in private by His Father.
Private prayer is noticed publicly in the lives of the followers of Jesus too (see Acts 4:13; 6:15).
I don’t pray privately so that I can show off publicly. I pray in intimate privacy so that I can publicly show off Jesus!
All of our spiritual disciplines are for us individually so that we have something to give corporately. For instance—
As we are built up in private prayer, there is a greater unity in corporate prayer, and Jesus is lifted up for the world to see. We love Jesus and we love others, so we fight for the glory of God and the strengthening of our brothers and sisters. We are loving fighters!
So let me encourage you to make private, intimate conversation with Jesus a priority in your life.
Craig T. Owens 