Love Is… (part 1)

Love is… worksheet 1The greatest definition of love in the history of mankind is given to us in 1 Corinthians 13. This is the “gold standard” to which all of us should strive to pattern our lives.

But notice that right at the beginning, Paul says, “Love IS” (verse 4). Not love feels good or even love does; but love is. Love is not love because it makes us feel good. Love is not love because we did something nice. Love is love because it measures up to this standard in 1 Corinthians.

Here are the first five attributes of love.

Love is patient

  • Patient love doesn’t lose heart, but stays hopeful.
  • It endures patiently and bravely in enduring misfortune and disappointment.
  • “It can endure evil, injury, and provocation, without being filled with resentment, indignation, or revenge.” —Matthew Henry

Love is kind

  • It is pleasant and courteous.
  • It both seizes opportunities and makes opportunities to show kindness.
  • …as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:18)

Love is catching others doing something good

  • The biblical phrase is love is not envious, but I want to turn the positive into a negative. Far too often we Christians are known more for what we against, not what we’re for. So the positive way of saying this: we rejoice when others succeed. Or, we catch them doing something good.

Love is complementing others

  • Again, we turn the negative love does not boast into a positive, and say love complements others.
  • Agape raises the value of the object of its love.

Love is others-focused

  • Again, turning the negative love is not proud into a positive.
  • Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)

Here’s where the real test comes in: How will you apply these attributes of love to someone in your life? More specifically: to someone you think is “unloveable”?

I know you have someone in your life that you think is unloveable. With that person’s face clearly in mind, how will you fill in the blanks:

  1. I can show patience by…
  2. I can be kind to them by…
  3. I can rejoice in their success in this area…
  4. I can applaud them in their…
  5. I can see them becoming…

If you would like a downloadable PDF of this worksheet, click here –> Love is… worksheet 1

If you missed any of the messages in our Loving the Unlovable series, you can check them all our here.

God Is Here

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

“Jewish scholars used to debate why God appeared to Moses in a burning bush. A thunderclap or lightning bolt would have been more impressive. And why the far side of the desert? Why not the palace or a pyramid in Egypt? They concluded that God appeared to Moses in a burning bush for one simple reason: to show that no place is devoid of God’s presence, not even a bush on the backside of the desert.” —Mark Batterson, in Draw The Circle

God is Jehovah Shammah

The One Who is with us everywhere for He is Omnipresent

God is here

Wherever you are today—stuck in the snow, hard at work, playing with your kids, eating lunch with your friends, at church, reading a book, singing a song—God is there. That makes wherever you are holy ground.

We should live today and everyday like we are in the very presence of God. Because we are. 

(If you are walking through a dark time right now, perhaps wondering just exactly where God is, I have a whole series of posts and videos you should check out called Where’s God?)

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Thursdays With Oswald—The Thinking Of A Christian And An Atheist

This is a weekly series with things I’m reading and pondering from Oswald Chambers. You can read the original seed thought here, or type “Thursdays With Oswald” in the search box to read more entries.

The Thinking Of A Christian And An Atheist 

     All scientific finds have at one time been modern. Science is simply man’s attempt to explain what he knows. …

     I can explain the world outside me by thinking; then if I can explain the world outside me by my mind, there must have been a Mind that made it. That is logical, simple and clear; consequently atheism is what the Bible calls it, the belief of a fool. “The fool has said in his heart, ‘There is no God’” (Psalm 53:1). An atheist is one who says, “I can explain by my mind to a certain extent what things are like outside, but there is not a mind behind that created them.” … 

     We [Christians] have no business to be ignorant about the way God created the world, or to be unable to discern “the arm of the Lord” behind things. …

     If we [Christians] will bring our thinking into captivity to the Holy Spirit, we form what is termed “nous.” Nous is a Greek word meaning responsible intelligence. Whenever we get to this point of responsible intelligence, we have come to a sure line of thinking. Until the nous is formed in natural life and in spiritual life, we get at things by intuition, by impulse, but there is no responsible intelligence. …We have not only to be good lovers of God, but good thinkers, and it is along this line that we can “try the spirits whether they are of God.” 

From Biblical Psychology

Christians—above anyone else—should be first-rate thinkers, because we have a natural mind AND the Holy Spirit. We should constantly study, read, discuss, debate, and meditate to sharpen our thinking. The Holy Spirit will stimulate our thinking along the right lines, but we have to put some thoughts into our minds first!

“We have not only to be good lovers of God, but good thinkers.”

19 Quotes From “Who Do You Think You Are?”

Who Do You Think You AreWho Do You Think You Are? by Mark Driscoll is an insightful journey through the book of Ephesians. You can read my full book review by clicking here. Below are some of the passages that especially stood out to me.

“This world’s fundamental problem is that we don’t understand who we truly are—children of God made in His image—and instead define ourselves by any number of things other than Jesus. Only by knowing our false identity apart from Christ in relation to our true identity in Him can we rightly deal with and overcome the issues in our lives.”

“What you do doesn’t determine who you are. Rather, who you are in Christ determines what you do.”

“Our worship never starts and stops. It’s not limited to a building in which we attend sacred meetings and sing worship songs. Rather, our entire life is devoted to pouring ourselves into someone or something. Saying it another way, we’re ‘unceasing worshippers.’ We aren’t created to worship, but rather we’re created worshipping.”

“While it’s not a sin to plan and strive for a better tomorrow, it is a sin to set one’s joy and identity on who we will be, what we will do, or what we will have tomorrow in our own efforts rather than on Christ today and who He will make us, what He will have us do, and what He will give to us tomorrow.”

“While it’s true that sin has affected the totality of our persons, including our minds, wills, and emotions, we fail to say all that the Bible does regarding our identity when we place undue focus on our depravity as fallen sinners and ignore our dignity as created image bearers and our new identity as redeemed Christian saints. While a non-Christian is totally depraved, a Christian is in Christ.”

“A saint does sin. But a Christian is one who has saint as their constant identity and sinner as their occasional activity. For the Christian, there is a vital difference between having sin and being sin.”

“Sin may explain some of your activity, but it’s not your identity. Your identity is in Christ, and because of your new identity, by God’s grace through the Holy Spirit’s power, you can change your activity. Because you are a new person positionally in Christ, you can live a new life practically by the power of the Holy Spirit. This truth is deeply helpful and vitally practical.”

“Pride is our enemy and humility is our ally. Pride compares us to other sinners; humility compares us to our sinless Savior. Pride covets the success of others; humility celebrates it. Pride is about me; humility is about Jesus and other people. Pride is about my glory; humility is about God’s glory. Pride causes separation from God; humility causes dependence on God. Pride is pregnant with all sins; humility is pregnant with all joys. Pride leads to arrogance; humility leads to confidence. Pride causes me to do things in my own strength; humility compels me to do things in God’s strength. …None of us, with the exception of Jesus Christ, can ever say we’re truly humble. Instead, all we can say is that we’re proud people pursuing humility by the grace of God.”

“In Christ, you’re graced. You’re chosen by grace, saved by grace, kept by grace, gifted by grace, empowered by grace, matured by grace, and sanctified by grace. You persevere by grace, and one day will see Jesus, the best Friend you’ve ever had, face-to-face, by grace.”

“God is as equally glorified when we praise Him for His unmediated grace as when we’re thankful for those through whom He chooses to deliver it. …We’re to thank God for being faithful to His people and to thank His people for being faithful to Him.”

“Before we can understand and embrace our identity in Christ, we must first accept our identity apart from Christ. Becoming a Christian is not merely accepting the truth about Jesus as our Savior. It’s also accepting the truth about ourselves as needy sinners.”

“Because afflictions cost us so much, they are too precious to waste. Though God may not cause your affliction, He can use your affliction for His glory, others’ good, and your growth, if you are in Christ.”

“Our God didn’t suffer so that we wouldn’t suffer. He suffered so that when we do suffer, we can become more like Him and point more people to Him.”

“Too many Christians pit knowledge against experience and the head against the heart. The truth is, both are needed to grasp God’s love. The love of God is what happens when the truth in our heads captivates the affections of our hearts, which spurs us on to grasp the love of God in our lives. …As the love of God increasingly captivates our hearts and we grasp onto his love, we’re changed and become increasingly mature in Christ because our affections determine our actions.”

“Sometimes, Christians shy away from involvement in a local church because they see faults with the church. Ironically, the fact that they see a lack may indicate that there’s a need for them and their gifts. Rather than complaining, it’s better to humbly start serving to meet a church’s needs and invite others to also help.”

“Through the power of the Holy Spirit, God helps us live holy lives and enables us to obey Him. In this way, regeneration is the opposite of religion, which tragically teaches that if you obey God, He will then love you. The exact opposite is true. Regeneration reveals that because God loves us, we can obey Him by the power of the Holy Spirit. You have new power in Christ.”

“Your Father is perfect, loving, gracious, merciful, patient, holy, helpful, and generous. The more you get to know Him through Scripture, prayer, song, service, and time with your brothers and sisters in Christ, the more you will come to love and enjoy Him. Your desires will change from sin to holiness, and you’ll increasingly want to be like your Dad. You’ll love what He loves and hate what He hates.”

“As Christians, our goal is not to merely experience behavior modification by changing how we act and react. Our primary goal is getting to know, love, and trust God as our Father.”

“The last thing the church needs is cowards that treat the Bible like an artifact more fit for a museum than a weapon for the battlefield.”

Free? To Do What?

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.

At the En Gedi Youth Center, the students loved when our schedule said “free time.” To them: Free time = me time!

Is that how you see your “free time.” Is your free time your me time?

For a Christian, being free should mean something completely different. It’s not time for me, but Peter wrote:

Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. (1 Peter 2:16)

Free time is not me time, where I get to decide what to do, when I want to do it, and with whom I want to do it. That’s actually slavery to my passions or appetites.

Freedom is the ability to quickly obey God in service.

Any time I delay in obeying God’s call to serve, I am really disobeying Him. If I call Jesus my Savior and my Lord, then He has freed me from the entanglements of sin so that I may quickly say “Yes” to His call to service.

I love the King James Version’s phrasing of this verse: not using your liberty for a cloak of maliciousness. I am either obedient and serving, or I am disobedient and malicious. There is no middle ground.

No excuses.

No cover-ups.

I know I am free when I am thrilled to be able to quickly and readily answer God’s call to be a servant.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Who Do You Think You Are? (book review)

Who Do You Think You AreIf you’ve ever heard Mark Driscoll speak, you know that he pulls no punches as he unashamedly uses the Bible to address the situations we all face. Who Do You Think You Are? is no exception.

Your friends, Madison Avenue, your colleagues, even your family members are all trying to influence you. They all weigh-in on who you are, or who they think you should be. But Pastor Mark Driscoll wants to show you who the Bible says you are. So using the book of Ephesians in the Bible, Pastor Mark convincingly and lovingly will show you that you are…

  • In Christ
  • A saint
  • Blessed
  • Appreciated
  • Saved
  • Reconciled
  • Afflicted
  • Heard
  • Gifted
  • New
  • Forgiven
  • Adopted
  • Loved
  • Rewarded
  • Victorious

Pastor Mark writes in a very readable, conversational style as he uses the powerful words of Ephesians, along with some personal stories from his own life, as well as the lives of others he has known, to make sure you know how God sees you. In a world where everyone else wants to squeeze you into a different mold, how freeing it is to discover how God sees you, and to know that God loves you because you’re you!

This was a very encouraging read. I’d recommend this to anyone struggling with peer pressure or with their own self-identity. I also think this would be an excellent book to use in a small group setting, perhaps even among a recovery group.

I am a Thomas Nelson book reviewer.

I have shared some quotes from this book here.

Weighing The Positives And Negatives*

WeighingDon’t you get annoyed when an overly-religious person spouts off some pie-in-the-sky, feel-goodism that sounds religious, but doesn’t seem to have any grounding in the real world?

Like when a church leader says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ” when you are in the midst of a painful situation? This is one of those statements that’s great for church, but not so great for the battlefield of life, right?

Actually that statement was made by the apostle Peter (see 1 Peter 1:3).

He didn’t shout it in a church service, but in a letter to Christians who were on the run from their persecutors. Many of them had lost their homes and businesses, had to leave their hometowns, were separated from their families, and were having their very lives threatened. Peter didn’t just shout this praise, he explained its origin, too.

Over the next few verses he asks us to consider what a relationship with Jesus Christ would bring us, and then to put the positives and negatives on a scale—

The Positives

  • God’s mercy
  • New life
  • Living hope
  • Resurrection from the dead
  • Secure inheritance
  • An eternity with God in Heaven
  • God’s power shielding us

The Negatives*

  • Grief
  • Trials

*

So whether we look at the eternal positives or the temporary “negatives” there is cause for rejoicing. When a Christian is in a difficult situation, he must remember this:

  1. This situation is only temporary
  2. This situation will ultimately bring glory to God

Weigh the positives and negatives and you will see that what you are going through now cannot even begin to compare to the glory of God that is coming! The apostle Paul echoed Peter’s words when he wrote, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18).

So keep your eyes on Jesus, and keep shouting your praise to Him.

Holy Spirit, please help me to look away from the temporary and keep my eyes on my eternal God and Savior.

Bullying

UnstoppableI wish this were not so: Bullying is real.

This is a hot-button issue for me, because there is something in my personality that gets fired up by a bully, more than almost any other issue. Bullies are truly cowards, but to the one being bullied at school or at work, that doesn’t seem true. Many times someone getting bullied feels they are all alone, which is why others need to be aware and step in to help.

In his book Unstoppable, Nick Vujicic talks about when he was bullied at school (you can read my book review of Unstoppable by clicking here). He then offers a list of symptoms to be aware of in someone close to you.

Common signs that someone is the victim of bullying include:

  • Increased reluctance to go to school or work events that peers attend
  • Refusing to discuss the day’s events upon coming home
  • Torn clothing, unexplained injuries, and stolen items
  • Asking for extra money to take to school
  • Carrying weapons to school
  • Reporting headaches, stomach problems, and nervousness before leaving and upon returning home
  • Reporting an inability to sleep or having bad dreams
  • Increased problems concentrating
  • Major changes in eating habits, either more or less
  • Little or no social interaction with peers
  • Self-harming through cutting, scratching, hair pulling, and other means
  • Appearing fearful to leave the house
  • Running away from home
  • Sudden drop in school or work performance
  • Dramatic darkening of mood before leaving and upon returning home
  • Negative and self-critical expressions

From his personal experience, Nick also offers this wise advice—

If you are a victim of bullying, remember that the most important battle you must win is the one within. What someone else says or does to you should never define who you are. God created you for a purpose. You have value in His eyes. Put your faith in that, and then put that faith into action by rising above any criticism, gossip, or abuse that happened in the past. You were perfectly made by God. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. A bully wants you to believe that you are less than you are, because putting you down makes the bully feel superior. You don’t have to play that game. Focus instead on building upon your gifts. God will take care of the rest. Joy and fulfillment will come as you walk the path created for you and only you.

If someone is bullying you at school or at work, please tell someone close to you. Trust me: they want to help you!

Let’s be aware of these telltale signs in those we love, and then step in to help where needed. A great resource to help you navigate the nasty world of bullying is The Jeremiah Project 51. Please click on the link and check out their resources.

Fuller Love

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.

Love is not always flowery and sweet, where everyone gets along, and no one is ever mean or even unkind. Actually that’s not love; that’s selfishness. You’re saying, “I will love you because it makes me feel good. I get something special out of this when I am kind and loving to you.”

The ancient Greeks had different words for love. Whereas we use love for food (“I love my pasta”), and the same word for special people (“I love my wife”). But we all know that I’m not really saying my wife and a plate of spaghetti are on the same level.

So the Greeks had a word for love for the inanimate (like food and music), and a word for this-makes-me-feel-so-good (like sex and alcohol), and a word for treating someone humanely or kindly (sometimes called brotherly love). These are well-known loves, but they are very fragile. The law of diminishing returns says that each time I experience one of these loves, its ability to please me the next time is slightly reduced, until at one point this thing/person no longer satisfy me at all. In fact, they may even cause my stomach to churn in nausea.

But there was one more word the Greeks used for love, that the biblical writers used almost exclusively. This word (agape) is not tuxedos and dancing gowns and chandeliers. This love shows up in work clothes, with callouses on its hands and knees, because it’s determined to serve someone else no matter what!

This is the kind of love God exhibited toward us—God shows and clearly proves His own love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).

And this is the kind of love Jesus commanded us to exhibit toward others… even toward those we think are unloveableBy this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another. … If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even “sinners” love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even “sinners” do that (John 13:35; Luke 6:32-33).

This is the kind of full love that those apart from Jesus Christ do not know, but they can see it and be drawn to it if Christians will demonstrate it. Henry Drummond said this—

“Never offer men a thimbleful of gospel. Do not offer them merely joy, or merely peace, or merely rest, or merely safety; tell them how Christ came to give men a more abundant life than they have, a life abundant in love. … Then only can the gospel take hold of the whole of a man, body, soul and spirit. … Only a fuller love can compete with the love of the world.

Let’s show the world a fuller love, and in so doing we will show them Jesus!

If you missed any of the messages in our Loving the Unlovable series, you can check them all our here.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

My Brothers

My brothersPastor, I love how the Apostle James consistently addresses his audience in his epistle. Over a dozen times in his five short chapters, Pastor James addresses his congregation as my brothers (sometimes the phrase is even my dear brothers).

The word brothers is always the Greek word adelphos, which means from the same womb. James didn’t elevate himself, nor put down others in the church; he constantly put himself on the same plain. He was saying, “Look, I struggle with what you struggle with—we all have the same issues. I’m not immune to these things because I’m the so-called leader of the Jerusalem church. I have to keep alert and keep on working in these areas too!”

Sometimes James adds the adjective dear (or as the KJV says, beloved). This word is from the root word which means to be fond of someone, to love dearly, or to be well pleased. James, in essence, is saying, “I like you! You’re not just someone that goes to church with me, but you’re a dear friend.”

As the adage goes—People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. So almost every point James covers in this epistle is introduced by the my brothers tag. It’s his way of reminding them, “I’m sharing this with you because I really like you, and I want us to grow closer to God together.”

Wow! What a great example for me as a pastor. I’m not immune to struggles. I’m not in a separate category. I’m in this with my dear brothers and sisters, and I want us to all overcome and grow in our level of intimacy with God together.

UPDATE: This is one of the major themes in my book for pastors called Shepherd Leadership. I hope you will check it out!