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As a leader, you have the great responsibility, and privilege, of setting the tone for your team. One of the biggest ways you set the tone for your organization is how you react to stressful situations. Remaining calm through adversity signals to your team that they can remain calm as well, and provides amazing stability to your organization. In this episode, Greg and I discuss this topic and give helpful tips that will enable you to better control your reactions.
[0:30] When the going gets tough, the tough get going. But what do leaders do during tough times?
[2:51] When a leader panics, the team cannot be calm.
[3:24] Greg has a great analogy for the world of nature that can help leaders.
[5:08] What happens if a leader’s anger erupts?
[7:53] Our teammates watch our responses closely in tense times and in our reflection times after the intense activity.
[10:15] Leaders have to learn how to control the emotional extremes.
[12:35] Insecure leaders tend to react a little too intensely, and their teams will learn to follow their example.
[13:28] Both pre-planning and reflection will help leaders avoid an over-the-top reaction.
[18:04] Reactions that are too quick usually create additional problems. Thoughtful responses are always healthier.
[20:22] Macro and micro situations require different responses from leaders, so leaders need to learn to quickly assess the situation.
[23:00] I suggest the most important thing for leaders to work on to avoid overreactions.
[25:16] Greg shares a quote with his own helpful modification.
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Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
It would be nice if complainers were satisfied just complaining to themselves, but they’re not. Do you know the cliché misery loves company? It’s just as true for complainers: They really want others to join them in their bellyaching!
I think a good word for what these negative people do is ambush. The dictionary says that means to lie in wait with hostile intent. Jesus told His followers that this ambushing behavior was going to happen. In Luke 6:22, He uses the word “when” not “if”—
Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.
We see this vividly portrayed in the life of Daniel. This man had done nothing but helpful things since the moment he arrived in Babylon. He faithfully served foreign kings, never wanted any recognition for himself, saved lives, interpreted dreams, and explained confusing things. He had a great work ethic and impeccable integrity. But the complainers still wanted to ambush him (see Daniel 6:1-5).
One psalmist described these ambushers in terms of a hunting lion: His mouth is full of lies and threats; trouble and evil are under his tongue. He lies in wait near the villages; from ambush he murders the innocent. His eyes watch in secret for his victims (Psalm 10:7-8).
Doesn’t this sound like what the devil does too? Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8).
Jerusalem was surrounded by three armies that were lying in wait to ambush the Israelites. After God told the people of Jerusalem that He would deliver them, King Jehoshaphat sent out his army with the worshippers at the front of the ranks. Then listen to how worship not only thwarted the ambushers but boomeranged their evil plans back on themselves—
As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated. The Ammonites and Moabites rose up against the men from Mount Seir to destroy and annihilate them. After they finished slaughtering the men from Seir, they helped to destroy one another. (2 Chronicles 20:22-23)
When we worship God and sing our grateful praise to Him, we put the sword of God in our mouths. And there isn’t a more effective sword against the darkness than the (S)Word of God (Hebrews 4:12; Revelation 1:16; Ephesians 6:17)!
Paul told the church at Colosse that singing our praise to God with other saints was an encouragement to all who heard those worshipful songs (Colossians 3:15-17).
So when the ambushers are surrounding you, use your thankful songs as a shield, as a sword, and as an encouragement to others!
If you’ve missed any of the other messages in our series The Great Attitude of Gratitude, you can find them all here.
“When we are foolish and young, we need more rules. As we mature, we can be trusted with extended boundaries. The wiser we are, the more we appreciate those boundaries and the less they offend us. Offense at law, accountability, hedges, and boundaries is an indicator of immaturity. The wiser we are, the more unafraid and appreciative we are of those who hold us to account.” —Dick Brogden, in Proverbs: Amplified and Applied
“When public policy begins to encroach on the Christian’s freedom and duty to proclaim the Good News, or to bring the benefits of the Gospel to the community, believers must continue our mission nonetheless and be ready to bear whatever punishments those in authority may choose to inflict. Christians do not seek suffering, but we must not shun it, particularly when by our suffering we can work for public policies more in line with the centrality of the Gospel for the wellbeing of all people.” —T.M. Moore
The Golden Rule—treat others as you would want to be treated—applies to the way you treat yourself too. Stop beating yourself up when you make a mistake. You probably don’t beat up others when they stumble, so extend the same grace to yourself. Practice healthy, affirming self-talk. Check out this full conversation from episode 68 of The Craig And Greg Show.
“A thought, a sword, and a spade should never be allowed to rust.” —Irish Proverb
Dr. C. John “Jack” Collins uses some thoughts from C.S. Lewis to help us learn a little better how to read Genesis 1-11. He writes, “We should approach any biblical passage with the conviction that God inspired the Bible to be the right tool for its job. If we can get a good idea of what kind of tool our passage is, we can discern what job God intended it to perform. And that means we need to be willing to adjust what we’re looking for and be willing to find other ways of addressing some questions.”
“Failure to pray is simple unbelief. We must repent of our unbelief and take up the work of prayer with greater devotion and dedication. We shall not be able to realize progress in Christ’s Kingdom, or in returning our nation to a greater experience of justice and goodness, apart from prayer. Prayer is the starting point for public policy. Prayer must be the sustaining power of public policy. And prayer in the form of worship will be the outcome of public policies, forged in prayer, which lead to a peaceful, godly, dignified, true, and Gospel-friendly society.” —T.M. Moore
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An expert in Jewish law asked Jesus, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?”
Jesus, knowing this man was an expert in the law, turned the question back on him, “What do you think is written in the law about this?”
This man quoted to Jesus two passages in the mosaic law, and Jesus told him, “You have answered correctly. If you do that you will have eternal life.”
The two things he quoted were loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving your neighbor as yourself. But then comes an interesting phrase. Luke writes that, “He wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbor?’” This tells me that this expert in the law was trying to figure out the least that he could do to be approved by God.
In answer to his question, Jesus told the story that we now refer to as the parable of the good Samaritan. The Samaritan didn’t measure his love by the least he could do, and he didn’t limit himself to doing only what was comfortable or convenient. In fact, he didn’t measure his response at all—he simply did what was needed without any thought of the cost.
We often use WWJD to ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?”
Since Jesus embodied love, maybe a more clarifying question would be WWLD—What would love do?
Maybe we could combine this with the Golden Rule. If I was in need, how would I want my neighbor to treat me? Then, as Jesus said to the expert in the law, “Go and do likewise to all your neighbors.” This is what pleases God and glorifies Jesus.
(Read this whole account for yourself in Luke 10:25-37.)
Perhaps a good prayer for us would be: Heavenly Father, I want to love the way Jesus loved. Help me to do what Love would do in all my interactions with my neighbors today. Father, be glorified in my neighborly responses today. I want to follow the example Jesus gave me, so I pray this prayer in His name. Amen.
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Gratitude is a great attitude. It sets you apart from the crowd of complainers, and it causes people to ask, “What do you know that we don’t know?”
Wouldn’t you just love to silence the complainers in your life? Maybe you can relate to this poem by Shel Silverstein called Complainin’ Jack—
This morning my old jack-in-the-box
Popped out—and wouldn’t get back-in-the-box.
He cried, “Hey, there’s a tack-in-the-box,
And it’s cutting me through and through.
“There also is a crack-in-the-box,
And I never find a snack-in-the-box,
And sometimes I hear a quack-in-the-box,
‘Cause a duck lives in here too.”
Complain, complain is all he did—
I finally had to close the lid.
Since, as Christians, we can’t really “close the lid” on the complaining people around us, maybe there’s something else we can do. I can think of three possibilities.
We could entirely avoid complaining people. But to do this wouldn’t allow us to live our lives as the salt and light Jesus called us to (Matthew 5:13-16). After all, in order for salt to season or light to drive away darkness, the salt and light have to be in close proximity to those they are helping.
We could simply ignore the negativity. Be around it, but do nothing about it. But both Paul and Jesus call us to engage with people in a way that points them to the Good News of the Gospel (Philippians 2:14-16; Matthew 28:19).
If we cannot avoid complainers nor remain apathetic about them, we must find a way to engage them but protect our hearts in the process.
We learn from the apostle Paul’s letter to Philippi that gratitude is our shield against anything that would seek to steal our joy! “Further, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you” (Philippians 3:1).
In the Greek, the root word for “safeguard” means “fail.” But when we add the prefix it becomes cannot fail! So rejoicing makes us secure, firm, reliable.
Quite simply that means that gratitude is our attitude protector because gratitude is our shield against anything that would seek to steal our joy!
Jesus used the same word for rejoicing even when we are facing insults, exclusion, and persecution—
Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets. (Luke 6:22-23)
Both Jesus in this passage and Paul in Philippians 3:1 remind us that our rejoicing is IN the Lord. We are not expected to rejoice in our circumstances, but in who God is for us. Matthew Henry noted, “The more we rejoice in Christ the more willing we shall be to do and to suffer for Him, and the less danger we shall be in of being drawn away from Him.”
I also like both the proactive and reactive use of rejoicing that John Henry Jowett identifies when he says, “Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic.” Rejoicing is never supposed to be a one-and-done action, but it is an ongoing lifestyle. As Paul wrote to the Christians in Philippi just a few verses later, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4).
Gratitude is a shield—a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic—but it doesn’t protect us unless we use it!
In order to use this shield whenever it’s needed, we have to be constantly reminded to be grateful. This is where we can leverage the power of our brain’s reticular activating system. I shared a short video about how to do this on The Podcast last week—check it out here.
Gratitude is a great attitude, and grateful people are a winsome testimony of God’s love and provision to those “complainin’ Jacks” we all encounter. Try it and see what a difference it will make with those you are around this week.
This is just one example of the power of a leader’s storytelling. Check the full conversation Greg and I had on The Craig And Greg Show. I have lots of new content every week, which you can check out on my YouTube channel.
“We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.” —Benjamin Franklin
George Jeffreys was born with a limiting speech impediment, but with the empowering of the Holy Spirit, George and his brother Stephen led incredible Pentecostal revivals in England and Wales. They were said to be the greatest evangelists since George Whitefield and John Wesley. Someone asked Jeffreys how long a revival should last, and he responded, “Thank God, a revival started in my heart 30 years ago, and it has never stopped; it will never end.” He continued by saying, “As long as Jesus is kept in the front, and made the center of fellowship and blessing and unity, the revival will never end.” Check out this mini biography about his life.
John Stonestreet uses the example of C.S. Lewis’ Aslan to talk about how God can speak to us through our pain. John writes, “Pain is never the point of God’s plans, any more than it is the purpose of physical exercise. Never pushing ourselves to the point that it hurts means never improving our health. On the other hand, seeking pain is more likely to do harm than to aid our wellbeing. In and of itself, pain is not good, but it is meaningful. Pain indicates that something is wrong and needs to be addressed.”
“The best way to make a dream come true is to wake up.” —Dame Anna Wintour
Because of the extensive prayer, research, and work I put into my book Shepherd Leadership, I am frequently drawn to passages of Scripture that reinforce the idea of pastors as shepherds. I was meditating on Hebrews 5:2 the other day, and I shared some of my thoughts with some of my pastor friends.
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Everyone loves stories! Whether it be a book, movie, or even a friend’s tall tale, we love hearing stories because they connect with us on a deeply personal level. As leaders, we can use stories as a powerful tool to connect with our staff and help reinforce the point we’re trying to make. Stories aren’t just for kids, they’re a vital part of effective communication.
[0:10] “Once upon a time there was a podcast…”
[0:48] Stories portray the point better than just telling someone what to do.
[5:59] Vision casting sticks better with a story instead of a “talking point.”
[7:43] Stories are more compelling than facts. Leaders need to listen to the stories of their teammates.
[10:39] Stories are under-utilized by far too many leaders.
[12:04] Stories set the stage for everything else the leader is going to share next. But we better be sure the story is true!
[13:28] Paul Harvey illustrates how a good story can expand a leader’s influence.
[15:30] Stories get a reaction and lock it in our brains.
[16:48] Stories bridge the gap between people.
[17:28] Is storytelling a gift, a skill, or both?
[19:42] We need to tell our stories so that others can connect to their own stories.
[21:32] Leaders, you have a great story to tell! We can help coach you in how to tell your story even better.
Check out this episode and subscribe on YouTube so you can watch all of the upcoming episodes. You can also listen to our podcast on Spotify and Apple.
Craig T. Owens 