The Difficulty In Answered Prayer

February 21, 2019 — Craig T. Owens

“Often it is simply the answers to our prayers that cause many of the difficulties in the Christian life.

“We pray for patience, and our Father sends demanding people our way who test us to the limit, ‘because…suffering produces perseverance’ (Romans 5:3). …

“We pray to be unselfish, and God gives us opportunities to sacrifice by placing other people’s needs first and by laying down our lives for other believers. …

“We pray to the Lord, as His apostles did, saying, ‘Increase our faith!’ (Luke 17:5). Then our money seems to take wings and fly away; our children become critically ill; an employee becomes careless, slow, and wasteful; or some other new trial comes upon us, requiring more faith than we have ever before experienced.

“We pray for a Christlike life that exhibits the humility of a lamb. Then we are asked to perform some lowly task, or we are unjustly accused and given no opportunity to explain….

“We pray for gentleness and quickly face a storm of temptation to be harsh and irritable. 

“We pray for quietness, and suddenly every nerve is tested to its limit with tremendous tension so that we may learn that when He sends His peace, no one can disturb it.

“We pray for love for others, and God sends unique suffering by sending people our way who are difficult to love and who say things that get on our nerves and tear at our heart. …

“The way to peace and victory is to accept every circumstance and every trial as being straight from the hand of our loving Father.” —Lettie Cowman, in Streams in the Desert (emphasis added)

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment »

Saturday In The Proverbs—15 Ways To Defuse Tense Relationships (Proverbs 15)

July 14, 2018 — Craig T. Owens

[Each chapter in the Book of Proverbs contains thoughts that fit into a theme; they are not just random thoughts gathered together. In this “Saturday In The Proverbs” series, I will share a theme that I see in each chapter. But the cool thing about God’s Word is that you may see an entirely different theme. That’s great! If you do, I would love for you to share it in the comments below.]

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).

Here’s how to defuse potentially volatile situations with other people—

  1. Speak gently (vv. 1, 28)
  2. Speak truthfully (v. 2)
  3. Remember that God is watching (vv. 3, 9, 11, 25, 26)
  4. Speak helpful words or stay silent (vv. 4, 7, 14, 23, 30)
  5. Receive correction from others (vv. 5, 12, 31, 32)
  6. Find ways to add value to other people (v. 6)
  7. Ask for God’s help (vv. 8, 29)
  8. Be gentle (v. 10) 
  9. Develop emotional intelligence (vv. 13, 15, 21)
  10. Don’t envy others (vv. 16, 17, 27)
  11. Guard against getting angry (v. 18)
  12. Remember: good relationships take work (vv. 19, 24)
  13. Use all the wisdom you have… (v. 20)
  14. …get all the wisdom that others have too (v. 22)
  15. Stay humble (v. 33)

Relationships can be one of the greatest treasures in our life, or they can be one of the biggest disappointments in our life. 

Put the ball in your court, and YOU work on making your relationships treasures! 

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 Comments »

A Surprising Way To Relieve Stress

November 20, 2017 — Craig T. Owens

Paul writes some pretty straightforward words to the Christians at Philippi about how to overcome anxiety.

Just to be clear, we’re not talking about a problem-free nor a stress-free life. That’s simply not possible. Our bodies were created to deal with stress in a healthy way. But stress that is unhealthy, or unnecessarily prolonged, or not flushed properly from the body becomes anxiety. Anxiety is the culprit responsible for a whole list of bad things!

When we face a stressor, our bodies release a hormone called cortisol. The main function of this hormone is to prepare us to fight or flight. Sometimes this looks like over-engaging in problem-solving, and sometimes it looks like a complete withdrawal from life. Sometimes cortisol leads to sleeplessness and a diminished appetite, and sometimes it makes people sleepy and craving comfort food.

But the bottom line is the fight-or-flight response is very me-focused!

The strategies Paul lists for us take the focus off me and put it on God. He especially counsels us to pray to God and to praise God. Between these two healthy responses is something unexpected. He writes, “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”

What in the world does gentleness have to do with relieving stress?!

First, let’s consider the motivation: The Lord is near. I think this could mean:

  1. The Lord’s name is near, as in we are called “Christians” and so we should act in a way that glorifies God.
  2. The Lord is near to help us.
  3. The Lord’s return is closing in where we will have to give an account of how we have lived our lives.

Then there is this word gentleness. This word means:

  • moderation
  • considerate of others
  • patience toward our situation and toward others
  • or as The Message says: Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them.

Cortisol is naturally removed from our physical bodies through rest and exercise. Anxiety is naturally removed from our emotional lives the same way—resting in God’s presence (honk!) and gently and considerately exercising a blessing for someone else.

THE BEST WAY TO DE-STRESS IS TO BLESS! 

When anxiety builds:

  1. Honk
  2. Bless
  3. Repeat

Don’t let stress win by making you self-centered. Defeat stress and anxiety by praising God and blessings others. And then make that a daily habit!

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 1 Comment »

Lettie Cowman On Prayer

May 18, 2016 — Craig T. Owens

Lettie Cowman“Often it is simply the answers to our prayers that cause many of the difficulties in the Christian life.

“We pray for patience, and our Father sends demanding people our way who test us to the limit, ‘because…suffering produces perseverance’ (Romans 5:3). …

“We pray to be unselfish, and God gives us opportunities to sacrifice by placing other people’s needs first and by laying down our lives for other believers. …

“We pray to the Lord, as His apostles did, saying, ‘Increase our faith!’ (Luke 17:5). Then our money seems to take wings and fly away; our children become critically ill; an employee becomes careless, slow, and wasteful; or some other new trial comes upon us, requiring more faith than we have ever before experienced.

“We pray for a Christlike life that exhibits the humility of a lamb. Then we are asked to perform some lowly task, or we are unjustly accused and given no opportunity to explain….

“We pray for gentleness and quickly face a storm of temptation to be harsh and irritable.

“We pray for quietness, and suddenly every nerve is tested to its limit with tremendous tension so that we may learn that when He sends His peace, no one can disturb it.

“We pray for love for others, and God sends unique suffering by sending people our way who are difficult to love and who say things that get on our nerves and tear at our heart. …

“The way to peace and victory is to accept every circumstance and every trial as being straight from the hand of our loving Father.” —Lettie Cowman

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment »

8 Ways Pastors Can Minister Like The Apostle Paul

May 17, 2016 — Craig T. Owens

PreachingThe Apostle Paul reminded the Thessalonians of how he ministered among them (“You know…” [1 Thessalonians 2:1]). This gives all of us pastors now an example of how to minister.

(1) “With the help of God we dared to tell you His gospel” (v. 2). I cannot minister out of my own strength; everything must flow from God’s strength.

(2) The message “does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you” (v. 3). I must constantly allow the Holy Spirit to check my motives and check my theology.

(3) “We speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel”( v. 4a). I am merely a vessel that God chooses to use to share His gospel. This must keep me humble.

(4) “We are not trying to please men but God, Who tests our hearts” (v. 4b). I minister only for God’s approval, only for the applause of Nail-Scarred hands. “We were not looking for praise from men” (v. 6).

(5) “We were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children … We dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God” (vv. 7, 11, 12).

(6) “We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well” (v. 8). Paul didn’t just show up to preach, but he was in day-to-day interaction with the saints.

(7) “We worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you” (v. 9). My salary should not be too much of a burden for my congregation.

(8) “Holy, righteous and blameless we were among you” (v. 10). My life of integrity adds weight to the message that I preach (v. 5).

May all of us who are pastors live and minister like this!

Posted in Pastoring. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment »

8 Ways To Argue Correctly

December 17, 2015 — Craig T. Owens

8 ways to argue correctlyIf you argue your case with a neighbor… (Proverbs 25:9). Notice the first word of this proverb is “IF” which tells me I don’t have to argue. But if I do, then here are eight things to remember.

  1. Don’t betray a confidence (vv. 9, 10)
  2. Practice patience (v. 15a)
  3. Speak gently (v. 15b)
  4. Address foolishness without becoming foolish (26:4, 5)
  5. Stay out of arguments that aren’t my concern—don’t meddle (v. 17)
  6. Don’t gossip (v. 20)
  7. Tell the truth (v. 28a)
  8. Don’t flatter the other person (v. 28b)

Let’s try to keep this in mind IF an argument is unavoidable.

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment »

17 Quotes From “Winning With Principle”

December 17, 2014 — Craig T. Owens

Winning With PrincipleJohn Wooden won the right way: with principle and integrity. And his wins were not short-lived, but they can last a lifetime. Check out a few quotes from Winning With Principle, a collection of quotes from Coach. You can read my full book review by clicking here.

“You learn as much from those under your supervision as they do from you.”

“Truth will always stand the test of scrutiny.”

“There is no substitute for hard work. If you are looking for the easy way, the shortcut … you’ll not be developing your talents.”

“The best competition I have is against myself to become better.”

“Time spent getting even would be better spent getting ahead.”

“Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of the self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.”

“There is nothing stronger than gentleness.”

“You can do more good by being good than any other way.”

“If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.”

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

“Don’t measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability.”

“Players with fight never lose a game; they just run out of time.”

“The shining trophies on our shelves can never win tomorrow’s game.”

“Always try to be better today than you were yesterday.”

“Success is never final; failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts.”

“Things turn out the best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.”

“Consider the rights of others before your own feelings and the feelings of others before your own rights.”

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , . 1 Comment »

Growing Pains

April 15, 2013 — Craig T. Owens

InterdependenceI remember when I was a teenager having such an ache in my legs at night. I’d be laying on my bed trying to sleep, but I couldn’t get comfortable because of that dull, unrelenting ache in my legs. I’d go ask my Mom what was going on, and her reply was simple: “Those are growing pains.”

In order to grow in any area of our lives—physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally—we have to go through a certain amount of pain. No pain, no gain. The process is not always a lot of fun, but that’s why we have to keep our eye on the goal. The process may not be something we like, but the end results will make the pain worth it.

You may not like dieting but you like the weight loss or lower cholesterol numbers, so you stick with it. You may not like saying “I’m sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me” but you like the healed relationship, so you say it.

Throughout the New Testament the phrase one another is frequently used to address how members of the Body of Christ should relate to each other. God desires that all of us operate interdependently with one another. In order to get there, we must get ready for some growing pains!

In Ephesians 4, Paul tells us what is required to get to a place of unity and maturity in the Church:

  • Be completely humble (the King James Version says lowliness). This Greek word means not letting our thoughts rise far from the ground. In other words, we are thinking of ourselves as God thinks of us, not independently, as a self-made man/woman, but viewing all of my success as God-appointed. This process toward interdependence starts in our thoughts, in our attitudes about ourselves and about others.
  • Gentle = strength under control. Gentleness says, “I could do this, but for your sake I won’t.”
  • Patient (KJV: longsuffering) interaction with others is allowing them the freedom to grow just as others allowed me the freedom to grow.
  • Bearing with one another in love. Think of a load-bearing wall in a building that is holding up the weight of the roof and walls. When we bear with one another we are helping to share the burdens.

Being humble with ourselves, and gentle and patient with others, is the way we go through the growing pains of bearing with one another in love. The process may not be a lot of fun, but the end result is something that glorifies God, that’s why we must stick with one another through all our growing pains.

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Leave a Comment »

Harmless

April 13, 2012 — Craig T. Owens

When a story from the past is so well known, we can easily insert ourselves into it with a certain bias. When we do this, we read things into the story because of the facts we know now.

For instance, we know Judas betrays Jesus. So when we see his name in any story in the Bible, we immediately associate the word traitor with him, and we can only view him through that lens. Therefore, it’s easy for us to put ourselves in the place of one of the other eleven disciples of Jesus, and assume that they too knew Judas was a traitor.

Except they didn’t.

Look at this verse after Jesus says, “One of you will betray Me”—

His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them He meant. (John 13:22)

The Eleven were not suspicious of Judas. They didn’t say, “Well, I just knew it was him,” or “I kinda expected that from Judas.”

One of the things Jesus taught His followers was for them to be gentle as doves. I like how the King James Version says it: harmless as doves (Matthew 10:16).

Pastor, I know you especially have been hurt by people in your church. They have betrayed you, gossiped about you, turned on you. If people did that to Jesus, why would you expect anything less? And yet we are still to remain harmless as doves.

The Eleven never suspected a traitor. They were innocent. I think they were so focused on Jesus, they didn’t have time to be cynical about others. We view Judas cynically; they didn’t.

What a testimony to others when we are harmless:

That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and depraved nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world. (Philippians 2:15)

You may have been hurt many (many, many, many…) times in the past. But being harmless means that, like the disciples, we are “at a loss” as to whom it could be when someone tells us there is a traitor in our midst.

  • Stay focused on Jesus, so you may love others as He loves them.
  • Allow God to heal the wounds others have inflicted on you.
  • Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any cynicism in your heart.
  • Repent of your suspicion of people.
  • Be harmless toward everyone.
  • Grieve over the traitor.
  • Then stay focused on Jesus, not the traitor and not your wound.
Posted in Pastoring. Tags: , , , , , , . Leave a Comment »

Gentle Restoration

June 29, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

I’m struggling with this one. I have a dear friend who is perplexed by an ongoing drug addiction. He appeared to have it under control until things in his life started spiraling out of his control, and he gave in to his old habit again.

So the Bible says that if one of my brothers slips up I’m supposed to restore him gently. How exactly does one do that? I bounced between so many emotions during the last 48 hours: anger at this addiction, sorrow for what my friend is going through, heaviness at what he’s doing to himself and his family, hatred at the devil for his evil tricks, and a passion to see him whole and healthy and free again. Then my own thoughts have baffled me: “How do I gently restore my brother? What does restoration look like?”

Restoration is an interesting Greek word. It can mean setting a broken bone; mending torn fishing nets; manning a fleet of ships; or supplying an army with its provisions.

Restoration is NOT canceling a debt or removing the consequence for someone’s actions. I like what Dave Anderson wrote, “One of the best lessons you can teach your people is that when they choose a behavior they choose the consequences for that behavior.”

Restoration is feeling the pain of what’s been broken or defeated, learning the lesson from that, and then repairing the break or deficiency in such a way that it won’t break or be defeated again. I have the responsibility and the privilege of doing some mending for my friend.

What about gentle? Over time this word has come to mean something like wishy-washy, no backbone, no guts. Gentle originates from the Latin word gentilis which means belonging to the same family or clan. To be gentle is to be strong enough to respond in a controlled manner to someone who is just like me. Gentleness is strength under control.

I hope I’m gentle enough to restore my friend, to mend what is broken in him so he never has to be defeated by this addiction again. He has some consequences to face. But I am committed to helping him carry this heavy load all the way to the finish line.

Check it out—

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:1-2)

Gentle restoration is hard work. But it’s so worth the effort!

If you have any thoughts on how to gently restore a friend, I’d love to have you share them with me in the comments section.

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . 1 Comment »