Some good reading from today…
Here is something scientists have completely overlooked before: microbes on the ocean floor that eat the “greenhouse gas” methane.
I like this from Thom Rainer: 7 reasons why church leaders should practice fasting.
Tim Elmore always finds great ways to encourage teachers and parents in working with young people: 8 lessons about leading kids from Derek Jeter’s dad.
Chuck Colson has a fascinating commentary: Judaism’s Sexual Revolution.
Some good reading & watching from today…
Stephen Miller reminds us that we don’t have to act differently when we pray: Be Yourself In Prayer.
Ken Davis is always hilarious. Check out The Confused Stage Of Life.
The American College of Pediatrics debunks the myth of “safe sex.”
Tim Dilena nails it: Why Worship Is Disappearing From Our Church Services.
“Christians have fallen into the habit of accepting the noisiest and most notorious among them as the best and the greatest. They too have learned to equate popularity with excellence, and in open defiance of the Sermon on the Mount they have given their approval not to the meek but to the self-assertive; not to the mourner but to the self-assured; not to the pure in heart who see God but to the publicity hunter who seeks headlines.” —A.W. Tozer
Parents and teachers, check out Tim Elmore’s post: How To Avoid Ruining A Kid’s Future.
As the Heritage Foundation’s Katrina Trinko says, “This isn’t okay”: States that voted against gay “marriage” now have it forced upon them.
Some good reading from today…
A good laugh— Al and Lois go to a counselor after fifteen years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is. Lois goes into a tirade, listing every problem they’ve ever had in their years of marriage. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, embraces the surprised Lois, and kisses her passionately. Lois shuts up and sits quietly in a daze. The counselor turns to Al and says, “That is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do that?” Al thinks for a moment and replies, “Well, I can get her here Mondays and Wednesdays, but Fridays I play golf.”
“It becomes every man who purposes to give himself to the care of others, seriously to consider the four following things: First, that he must one day give an account to the Supreme Judge of all the lives entrusted to his care. Secondly, that all his skill, and knowledge, and energy as they have been given him by God, so they should be exercised for his glory, and the good of mankind, and not for mere gain or ambition. Thirdly, and not more beautifully than truly, let him reflect that he has undertaken the care of no mean creature, for, in order that he may estimate the value, the greatness of the human race, the only begotten Son of God became himself a man, and thus ennobled it with his divine dignity, and far more than this, died to redeem it. And fourthly, that the doctor being himself a mortal man, should be diligent and tender in relieving his suffering patients, inasmuch as he himself must one day be a like sufferer.” —Dr. Thomas Sydenham, known as the father of English medicine
“It is a poor thing to strike our colors to God when the ship is going down under us; a poor thing to come to Him as a last resort, to offer up ‘our own’ when it is no longer worth keeping. If God were proud He would hardly have us on such terms: but He is not proud, He stoops to conquer, He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything else to Him.” —C.S. Lewis
“Prayer is never an acceptable substitute for obedience. The sovereign Lord accepts no offering from His creatures that is not accompanied by obedience. To pray for revival while ignoring or actually flouting the plain precept laid down in the Scriptures is to waste a lot of words and get nothing for our trouble.” —A.W. Tozer
These articles aren’t just for coaches, but for anyone who works with youth: Jameis Winston & The Fine Art Of Enabling from Mark Atteberry, and The Secret To Hard Conversations With Today’s Athletes by Tim Elmore.
A great question: Where Do Others Fit In Your Schedule?
One of the parental mistakes Tim Elmore highlights in his newest book 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid is praising the wrong things. He writes—
“We live in a world of hyperbole. We think we must exaggerate to be heard. So we use words like awesome or excellent when our kids have done merely what is expected of them. We offer huge praise for minimal effort. As our children grow older, matching the affirmation with the effort becomes especially important. Not too little, but not too much. This is how trust is built, and it’s why kids continue to listen to their parents during teen years.”
Dr. Elmore is not saying that we shouldn’t praise our kids, but that we should do it more intelligently, by making sure we are praising the right things. He offers this list for healthy, profitable praise for kids:
If you would like to read my full book review of 12 Huge Mistakes, click here.
To read some other quotes I shared from this book, click here.
I highlighted a lot in Tim Elmore’s newest book 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid … a lot! This is book that every parent (or grandparent) should read because it’s never too late to invest the best in our (grand)children. You can read my full book review of this must-read book by clicking here. Below are just a few of the quotes I highlighted in this book.
“I believe we have under-challenged kids with meaningful work to accomplish. We have overwhelmed them with tests, recitals, and practices, and kids report being stressed-out by these activities. But they are essentially virtual activities. Adults often don’t give significant work to students—work that is relevant to life and could actually improve the world if the kids rose to the challenge. We just don’t have many expectations of our kids today.”
“Every parent and teacher wants to see their kids succeed in school, in sports, and in life, but making it impossible to fail isn’t the answer. Removing failure, in fact, is a terrific way to stunt maturity. … As parents, we’ve given them lots of possessions but not much perspective. As educators, we’ve given them plenty of schools but not plenty of skills. As coaches, we’ve taught them how to win games but not how to win in life. As youth workers, we provide lots of explanations but not enough experiences. As employers, we’ve mentored them in profit and loss but haven’t shown them how to profit from loss.”
“Truth be told, when kids have heard they are excellent without working hard or truly adding value to a team, the praise rings hollow to them. Our affirmation must match their performance.”
“When people—especially young people—know they are free to try something and fail, their performance usually improves. It brings out the best in them. But if they are preoccupied with trying not to fail, they become paralyzed:
“Our constant caving begins to foster a constant craving in them. They want clarity. With boundaries unclear, they need more direct attention from Mom or Dad. Unwittingly, we actually breed insecurity and instability in our kids. This may sound strange, but consistency may be your best friend as a parent because it aids in your authority and in your child’s development.”
“Removing the consequences takes one of two roads. We either excuse their behavior and remove negative outcomes, or we actually step in and pay the consequence for them. When we do this, we frequently relieve the stress. We bring immediate peace to the situation, so we get addicted to this pattern. Unfortunately, we don’t see the long-term problems we are causing. Removing the consequences from our children’s lives brings short-term tranquility but long-term trouble.”
“‘You can do anything you want.’ I recognize why we say this, but as our kids grow older, we must help them to see what we really meant. … We really meant, if they set their mind to do something, they’ll be amazed at what they can pull off. The catch is, it needs to be something with in their gift area. They cannot simply make up a dream or copy a friend’s dream and call it theirs. Dreams should be attached to strengths.”
“We have created a world of conveniences, filled with smart phones, microwaves, Internet shopping, and online banking. The subtle message is that struggles are to be avoided. We want as much convenience as possible. In fact, we feel entitled to it. But we failed to see that when we remove the struggles from our children’s lives, we begin to render them helpless. They don’t have the opportunity to develop the life skills they’ll need later on. Further, when we step in to control their levels of struggle, they don’t learn how to be in control or under control themselves. In fact, all they learn is how to be controlled.”
“Ironically, the things young people want to avoid are necessary for them to mature authentically. Slow, hard, boring, risky, laborious… these are the very challenges that prepare me to become a good man, a good husband, a good father, a good employee, a good employer. Many life skills that once naturally developed in us now atrophy in today’s culture. So we must be far more intentional about leading our kids into opportunities to build these skills.”
“When we affirm looks or clothing—external matters instead of internal virtues—kids values become skewed. Remember, what gets rewarded gets repeated. Without realizing it, we are reinforcing cosmetic features—usually features that are not in their control. … We should be doing just the opposite. We must affirm effort and behavior, which are in their control, instead of characteristics that are out of their control. If we do this, we begin to foster a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset.”
“We mistake hurtful with harmful. Many times, hurting helps us. In fact, removing the hurt may be harmful. … When we hurt, we can learn important truths about ourselves and about others, truth that will be beneficial later in our lives. … We confuse disturbance with damage. We hate being disturbed. Our days are so full, we often hope and pray we won’t face any unexpected disturbances as we pursue our goals. The fact is, however, that on our way to those goals, we fall into unhealthy ruts. Interruptions force us out of those ruts. Interruptions are not damaging at all. They are the very items that save us from our tunnel vision. We need to be disturbed from time to time. Interruptions are wake-up calls that rouse us from our apathy or complacency.”
“I know you think kids are tired of you talking about the good old days. But I’ve found most kids love hearing stories of how we adults struggled to learn the same life skills when we were young. It’s all part of growing up.”
I read a lot of books, but very few of them get a “must read” designation from me. For parents and teachers, 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid by Dr. Tim Elmore fully earns my must-read label.
The future of our schools, our businesses, our communities and our country is being determined right now in our homes and in our schools. The way we raise our kids now will have far-reaching implications for all of us. Dr. Elmore has such a great way of speaking to the leadership issues of our young people, that I cannot urge you strongly enough to read this book.
Real quickly, the 12 huge mistakes that parents and teachers need to avoid are:
The book opens with a simple parenting quiz that will allow assess where you are in these 12 areas. Then you can turn to the chapter on which you scored the highest in the “overfunctioning parent” scale, and deal with that issue first. Each chapter is jam-packed with practical tips to correct that particular mistake.
Dr. Elmore describes the purpose behind his book this way—“Here’s the bottom line. I believe we need to face some new issues as parents. We must define what kids need from us to mature in a healthy way. We must figure out what hinders their growth and what equips them to be great adults. We must become both nurturers and trainers, knowing that we are not raising children, but future adults. I offer this book as a reference guide as you face your toughest challenges and attempt to get kids ready for life as they leave your home or school. Here’s to correcting our mistakes along the way—for their sake.”
Parents and teachers, go get this book!
Some good reading from today…
“There are no unsacred places; there are only sacred places and desecrated places.” —Wendell Berry
“It may be that when we no longer know which way to go that we have come to our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.” —Wendell Berry
“Wherefore seeing that all Christians know that the death of the religious beggar amongst the dogs, licking his sores, was better than the death of the wicked rich man in all his silks and purples, what power hath the horror of any kind of death to affright their souls that have led a virtuous life?” —Augustine
Parents & teachers should especially check out Tim Elmore’s post: 5 Ways To Cure The “Cool Kid” Curse. In this post he mentions his book Artificial Maturity; click here to read my review of this outstanding resource.
“We have thus plainly before us the principle, that our Lord in His infinite wisdom and superabundant love, sets so high a value upon His people’s faith, that He will not screen them from those trials by which faith is strengthened.” —Charles Spurgeon
Some interesting reading and watching from today…
An open letter that needs to be read: What’s The Big Deal With Pornography?
“All doubts are an attack of the enemy; the Holy Spirit never suggests them, never. He is the Comforter, not the accuser; and He never shows us our need without at the same time revealing the Divine supply.” —Hannah Whitall Smith
“The only way to have a fulfilling life is to stop relying on your own savvy and start relying on God to provide the necessary turn of affairs.” —John Piper
[VIDEO] Speaking of John Piper, I am so excited about his new project called Look At The Book! Check out this preview.
President Obama unleashes another assault on our religious liberties.
Dr. Tim Elmore gives parents and teachers Five Words Every Child Needs To Hear.
Nick Vujicic was born without arms or legs, as a result, he said he grew up being a “bully’s dream.” But Nick is an overcomer! He conquered his bullies, and in his book Stand Strong he wants to help students learn to conquer their bullies too.
Nick explains, “Your bully’s motives don’t matter. You do. Your safety and your happiness are more important to me and everyone else who loves and cares about you; so instead of focusing on why a bully is picking on you, let’s focus on helping you feel secure and happy again. … I will help you build your antibully antibodies.”
Using his own life as an example, Nick shares the raw emotions he felt when he was picked on by bullies. He is also transparent enough to share all the wrong ways he tried to avoid being bullied, and ultimately how he discovered the pattern for successfully navigating the bullies that come along all our paths. As Nick wraps up the book he observes, “Seriously, here is the idea I’m asking you to consider: what if you could find ways to learn and grow from being bullied? What if you took a bully’s hurtful actions and turn them into lessons learned so that you became stronger, wiser, and more confident?”
I found the steps in Nick’s Antibullying system to be steps that can be immediately applied. They are very do-able! And they will indeed make students stronger, wiser, and more confident.
This is a book I would recommend to not only school-aged students, but also parents, teachers, and school principals. If everyone could get together on the same program, the results would lead to a completely new environment in our schools.
I am a Waterbook book reviewer.
As I read D.L. Moody’s book Pleasure & Profit In Bible Study, I noticed several of his comments were directed to pastors.
In my humble opinion, the pastor needs to be the “Bible Student In Chief” of his or her congregation. The pastor’s love for God’s Word will create a hunger in the congregation to study this amazing Book!
You can read my full book review of Pleasure & Profit by clicking here. Below are some of the words to us pastors from this book.
“Oh! let every minister tell the truth, though he preach himself out of his pulpit. … If the Bible only has a chance to speak for itself, it will interest the people.”
“Give the people the Word of God. Some men only use the Bible as a text book. They get a text and away they go. They go up in a balloon and talk about astronomy, and then go down and give you a little geology, and next Sunday they go on in the same way, and then they wonder why it is people do not read their Bibles.”
“It a good thing for a minister to have the reputation of feeding his people. … People can get along without your theories and opinions, ‘Thus saith the Lord’—that is what we want.”
“Christ did not have a short-hand reporter to go around with Him to write out and print His sermons, and yet the people remembered them. Never mind about finished sentences and rounded periods, but give your attention to making your sermons clear so that they stick. Use bait that your hearers will like.”
“It is a thing to weep over that we have got thousands and thousands of church members who are good for nothing towards extending the Kingdom of God. They understand bazaars, and fairs, and sewing-circles; but when you ask them to sit down and show a man or woman the way into God’s kingdom, they say: ‘Oh, I am not able to do that. Let the deacons do it, or some one else.’ It is all wrong.”
Pastor, how is your personal Bible study time? Is it invigorating, or humdrum? We’ve got to get immersed in the Word so that we can encourage our congregations to do likewise.
Craig T. Owens 