Craig T. Owens

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After God created Adam, He said, “It’s not good for you to be alone.” That’s just as true today: God didn’t intend for us to journey on our own, but He gives us companions along the way. 

Last week we saw that God has to sometimes cause us grief to get our attention when we are straying from His path. He sometimes puts people in our lives to do the same thing. 

There’s a reason God puts the people in our lives that He does. We are called to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). But that sometimes means people will get upset with us (Galatians 4:16). “Real friends hurt each other. … Truth is the primary way faithful friends should wound each other—it is the help that hurts.” —Dick Brogden 

(Check out all of the verses in this post by clicking here.) 

The Corinthians thought they were super-spiritual, but Paul had to call them out on their foolishness (1 Corinthians 3:3; 5:1-2). Before Pauls’ letter, the Corinthians seemed happy. His letter caused them grief, but it was good grief that led to repentance and true joy (2 Corinthians 7:8-10). 

To keep silent when a brother or sister is straying is not God-honoring. We are not to be the sin police, but we are to address sinful issues (James 5:19-20). 

As King David flirted with the idea of how he could get something that he thought would make him happy, an anonymous attendant tried to get his attention. David ignored this and then tried to sweep it under the rug. In fact, he thought he got away with his sin (2 Samuel 11:1–12:7). 

But God sent Nathan to speak a hard word to David. We don’t know when Psalm 141 was written, but we know that David did write it. Perhaps it was penned at the time of Nathan’s loving confrontation. He said, “Let a righteous man strike me—that is a kindness; let him rebuke me—that is oil on my head” (Psalm 141:5). 

We do know that David wrote Psalm 51 after Nathan’s loving hard word, and in this prayer we see David’s confession, repentance, and a request for God’s joy to replace David’s grief. 

So how do New Testament-era Christians use good grief to help fellow saints? 

1. Examine yourself first (Matthew 7:1-5). Make sure you aren’t plagued by the same sin you have noticed in a brother or sister. 
2. Cry before you confront, just as the prophet Samuel did before he had to deliver a hard word to King Saul (1 Samuel 15:10-11). 
3. Confront in love with the goal of restoration, but make sure you are confronting someone who know you love them and who will receive your loving word  (Proverbs 27:5; 9:8). 
4. Pray that their grief will be turned to joy (Luke 22:31-32; Galatians 6:1; Psalm 51:12). 

Friendships with fellow saints are precious and they are vital. We need iron to sharpen iron (Proverbs 27:17) so that we will all stand before the throne together for eternity. 

This is the final message in our series Grief Into Joy. If you missed any of the messages, you can check them all out by clicking here. 

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