Good Grief From A Friend

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

After God created Adam, He said, “It’s not good for you to be alone.” That’s just as true today: God didn’t intend for us to journey on our own, but He gives us companions along the way. 

Last week we saw that God has to sometimes cause us grief to get our attention when we are straying from His path. He sometimes puts people in our lives to do the same thing. 

There’s a reason God puts the people in our lives that He does. We are called to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). But that sometimes means people will get upset with us (Galatians 4:16). “Real friends hurt each other. … Truth is the primary way faithful friends should wound each other—it is the help that hurts.” —Dick Brogden 

(Check out all of the verses in this post by clicking here.) 

The Corinthians thought they were super-spiritual, but Paul had to call them out on their foolishness (1 Corinthians 3:3; 5:1-2). Before Pauls’ letter, the Corinthians seemed happy. His letter caused them grief, but it was good grief that led to repentance and true joy (2 Corinthians 7:8-10). 

To keep silent when a brother or sister is straying is not God-honoring. We are not to be the sin police, but we are to address sinful issues (James 5:19-20). 

As King David flirted with the idea of how he could get something that he thought would make him happy, an anonymous attendant tried to get his attention. David ignored this and then tried to sweep it under the rug. In fact, he thought he got away with his sin (2 Samuel 11:1–12:7). 

But God sent Nathan to speak a hard word to David. We don’t know when Psalm 141 was written, but we know that David did write it. Perhaps it was penned at the time of Nathan’s loving confrontation. He said, “Let a righteous man strike me—that is a kindness; let him rebuke me—that is oil on my head” (Psalm 141:5). 

We do know that David wrote Psalm 51 after Nathan’s loving hard word, and in this prayer we see David’s confession, repentance, and a request for God’s joy to replace David’s grief. 

So how do New Testament-era Christians use good grief to help fellow saints? 

  1. Examine yourself first (Matthew 7:1-5). Make sure you aren’t plagued by the same sin you have noticed in a brother or sister. 
  2. Cry before you confront, just as the prophet Samuel did before he had to deliver a hard word to King Saul (1 Samuel 15:10-11). 
  3. Confront in love with the goal of restoration, but make sure you are confronting someone who know you love them and who will receive your loving word  (Proverbs 27:5; 9:8). 
  4. Pray that their grief will be turned to joy (Luke 22:31-32; Galatians 6:1; Psalm 51:12). 

Friendships with fellow saints are precious and they are vital. We need iron to sharpen iron (Proverbs 27:17) so that we will all stand before the throne together for eternity. 

This is the final message in our series Grief Into Joy. If you missed any of the messages, you can check them all out by clicking here. 

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Multitudes Of Anxious Thoughts

In the multitude of my anxious thoughts within me, Your comforts cheer and delight my soul! (Psalm 94:19 AMPC)

When anxious thoughts seek to grip our heart, our hope is found in the words of God. 

We have to think about what we’re thinking about, and then counteract the anxious thoughts with the words of truth.  

I presented a whole series of posts and videos on a Christian’s mental health. Please check it out here. You can replace your anxious thoughts with comforting and delightful thoughts!

Grief From God

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

The insidious thing about leprosy is that it kills the body’s pain receptors. Lepers may walk on a broken ankle, utterly mangling their foot. Or they may stick their hand in the first without realizing it.  

Pain is important to us—it tells us that something isn’t right and that we should seek help. Just as there is a danger if we ignore physical pain, there is a greater danger if we ignore spiritual pain. It’s a greater danger because eternal separation from God is far more deadly than mere physical death. 

Moses warned the Israelites of the danger of spiritual complacency, or we could call it spiritual leprosy. Check out the warning in Deuteronomy 8:10-14, 17. It didn’t take too long for this spiritual numbness to set it (see the fulfillment of Moses’ words in Judges 2:10-15). 

(Check out all of the Scriptures in this post by clicking here.) 

When we read in Judges 2, “The hand of the Lord was against them,” this is actually a very loving statement. Think about it: What would happen if God continued to give them success in their sinful endeavors? 

We can see this a little more clearly in Isaiah 63:7-10 where we see that God’s love is both redemptive and corrective. His fighting against His people caused them to recall God’s ways and wait on Him once again (63:11; 64:4-5). Notice the last question of verse 5, “How can we be saved?” 

It starts with remembering—that’s what Moses said at the beginning of this journey, and it’s also what Jesus says at the end (Revelation 2:5). 

We have to meditate on God’s Word because it…

  • …is a mirror (James 1:22-25) 
  • …is a bright, revealing light (Psalm 90:8 AMPC) 
  • …surgically brings healing (Hebrews 4:12-13; Psalm 119:67, 70) 
  • …prompts godly sorrow without condemnation (Romans 8:1-2; 2 Corinthians 7:8-9) 

Only when this grief is turned to joy again can God use us to minister to others. We are able to comfort and redirect others because God has comforted and redirected us back onto His path. 

David became enamored with his spiritual success and forgot God’s laws. His sin caused God to turn and fight against him. In his deep grief, David cried out to God (Psalm 51:7-13). It was only after David repented that his grief was lifted and he was able to teach others about our loving God. 

Let’s not ignore our grief, but instead let’s ask God what He is trying to tell us through that grief. Remember, in our distress He is distressed and will carry us. But if our spiritual leprosy has taken us away from God, He will lovingly fight against us to get us to return to Him! 

You can check out all of the other messages in this series by clicking here. 

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Again And Again And Again

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

I don’t know if this ever happens to you, but I’ve lost count of the number of times that this happens to me. I open up my Bible and begin reading right where I left off the day before, and as I’m reading, my attention is riveted by words that seem to pop off the page! 

I look at them again and see that this passage contains highlights or underlining or notations from when I read here before. Yet I’m left scratching my head saying, “How did I miss this when I read this passage earlier?!” 

I know this is because I’m a different person now than I was the last time I was reading this passage. I’ve learned some things and hopefully I have grown in the process. Quite simply, the Holy Spirit knew I wasn’t ready earlier for the new concept that jumped off the page at me. 

The other day I was reading in the Book of Romans and I noticed something that Paul wrote—

     And, moreover, that the Gentiles might glorify God for His mercy. As it is written: “Therefore I will praise You among the Gentiles; I will sing the praises of Your name.” Again, it says, “Rejoice, you Gentiles, with His people.” And again, “Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles; let all the peoples extol Him.” And again, Isaiah says, “The Root of Jesse will spring up, One who will arise to rule over the nations; in Him the Gentiles will hope.” (Romans 15:9-12) 

Look at that wording: “As it is written … again it says … and again … and again….” Paul is telling us that God tells us the same thing in different ways, at different times, and through different voices. It’s the same message, but it resonates a little differently in each place. As God’s Word speaks to us again and again and again, we see the richness and fullness of the message. 

In v. 9, Paul quotes David in 2 Samuel 22:50 and Psalm 18:49. 

In v. 10, the quotation is from Moses in Deuteronomy 32:43.

In v. 11, an anonymous psalmist in Psalm 117:1 is quoted. 

And in v. 12, Paul quotes the prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 11:10. 

(Check out all of these Scriptures for yourself by clicking here.)

The Jews considered the Holy Scripture to be divided into three sections: The Law, the Prophets, and the Writings. Look again what Paul did: 

  • He quotes Moses from the Law 
  • He quotes Isaiah from the Prophets
  • He quotes David and the anonymous psalmist from the Writings

Jesus said, “Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill” (Matthew 5:17). And after His resurrection, as He walked and talked with a couple of disciples, He reminded them, “This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms” (Luke 24:44). 

One of the reasons that the consistent message of the Scripture is repeated again and again and again is so that everyone will have a chance to hear it and believe it. 

There is such a beauty in this! I encourage you to take the time to look up the cross-references that many Study Bibles have put together. As you read the “it is written” statements in the Bible, I hope you will be encouraged as you see it throughout all the Bible again and again and again! 

Check out the book reviews I’ve shared on these study Bibles: 

I would also recommend 3 Bible studies for you to try and 2 more Bible studies for you to try. 

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Not Forsaken

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Although some people are afraid of this, the Bible makes it clear that God doesn’t forsake us. But the Bible also makes it equally as clear that we can forsake God. 

Listen to the words God spoke through Moses—

     And the Lord said to Moses, “Behold, you shall sleep with your fathers, and this people will rise up and play the harlot after the strange gods of the land where they go to be among them; and they will forsake Me and break My covenant which I have made with them. Then My anger will be kindled against them in that day, and I will forsake them and hide My face from them. And they shall be devoured, and many evils and troubles shall befall them, so that they will say in that day, ‘Have not these evils come upon us because our God is not among us?’ And I will surely hide My face in that day because of all the evil which they have done in turning to other gods.” (Deuteronomy 31:16-18 AMPC)

To forsake means to depart from someone or to neglect them. 

While we are following God, He will never forsake us. But when His people turn aside in fascination of sinful things, they forsake God by no longer following Him. We read this in the words of God’s people, “Our God is not among us.” 

When we don’t follow God, He still never forsakes us. However, God refuses to bless people who persist on doing their own thing. 

God’s blessing is reserved for those who continue to follow Him. In the language of the New Testament, God’s blessing only flows into the branches that continue to abide in Jesus (see John 15:1-8). 

When we forsake God, we cut ourselves off from His life flow. It is not the Vine who has left us, but we who have severed ourselves from the Vine. 

If God feels distant from you, be assured that He hasn’t forsaken you. Perhaps you could pray a couple of prayers that David prayed. Maybe a prayer asking for the Holy Spirit to reveal to you where you may have detached yourself from the Vine of God (Psalm 139:23-24). Or perhaps a prayer of forgiveness and assurance of God’s forgiveness and restoration (Psalm 51:1-10). 

Don’t give into the feelings of despair, but run back into the embrace of the One who loves you—the One who never leaves you nor forsakes you:

     Be strong, courageous, and firm; fear not nor be in terror before them, for it is the Lord your God Who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6) 

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Praying Against Or For Slanderers

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Quite a few psalms in the Bible are prayers against our attackers. Is that an acceptable prayer for us to still pray today? 

The Scriptures I reference in this clip are Psalm 58:6-8; Luke 23:34; Luke 6:28. 

Imprecatory prayers are, “Get ’em, God!” prayers. Intercessory prayers are, “Bless ’em, God!” prayers. 

Since both of these prayers are in the Bible, both of them have their place in our healing from the bites we have received from others, but the intercessory prayers are the ones we need to strive to pray. 

You can read more about this kind of praying in my posts: Still Maturing, Trespassers, and When You’re Unfairly Attacked. 

The full sermon about dealing with slanderers is here, and you can also go much deeper with this subject in my book When Sheep Bite. 

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The Malicious Attack

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.  

You may have noticed that the intensity of the pain of these sheep bites has been escalating—from flattery, to criticism, to gossip. Now we come to probably the most painful of bites: slander. This is the bite that will have the strongest pull toward the natural response, which will require our greatest reliance on the Holy Spirit to respond supernaturally. 

Remember that gossip has a veneer of truth on it; slander has no truth at all. They are outright lies. They are flimsy lies. They are malicious lies. One of the Hebrew words translated slander means scandal-monger: someone who trades in lies (Jeremiah 6:28 NLT; Leviticus 19:16).

(Check out all of the biblical references in this post by clicking here.) 

The natural response to slander is, “I have to respond to them!” The supernatural response to slander is, “I have to yield to God!” 

The natural response, however, is fueled by my wounded pride. On the other hand, the supernatural response is fueled by humility toward God. 

Slanderers are arrogant people too (remember Jeremiah said “they are as hard as bronze and iron” [Jeremiah 6:28]). God’s people are learning to humble themselves to wait for God (Psalm 38:12-15). These humble people are the ones who get God’s help, and not His laughter (James 4:6; Proverbs 3:34 NLT). 

Look at how Jesus dealt with the very natural urge to respond to those who slandered Him. After Jesus was arrested by the temple guards, He was hauled before one group after another and each time the slanderous lies were spitefully spit at Him. In front of the Sanhedrin, before Roman governor Pontius Pilate, and in the throne room of King Herod Antipas, angry men unleashed their venomous claims—none of which were true.  

There are two common themes we can notice in all of these settings.

  1. The lies were seen for what they were: complete fabrications without any truth behind them—Mark 14:55. Governor Pilate said “I find no basis for a charge against Him” (Luke 23:4), and he added, “Herod came to the same conclusion and sent Him back to us” (v. 15). 
  2. The silence of Jesus: “Jesus remained silent and gave no answer” (Matthew 27:13-14; Mark 14:61, 15:5). The only red letters in this interaction with both the Sanhedrin and Pilate are when Jesus is asked a direct question. Jesus quickly answers the questions, “Are You the Messiah,” “Are You a King,” and “Don’t You know the power I have?” (Mark 14:61, 15:2; John 19:10), but He never responds to the slander. 

Let me repeat: Our supernatural response can only come from yielding to the Holy Spirit’s influence. 

  1. We cannot treat slanderers as anything less than people created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27; Psalm 15:1, 3). 
  1. We must take our pain into God’s presence. This is what Jesus did (1 Peter 2:21-23). We can help ourselves by praying imprecatory prayers. These are words for God’s ears only (Jude 1:9; Psalm 58:6-8). 
  1. We have to learn to pray for our slanderers. We have to mature from praying against them to praying for them. Look at how Jesus interceded for His slanderers (Luke 23:34), which He calls us to as well (Luke 6:28). 
  1. We have to live as overcomers. We overcome by NOT responding to slander in the natural way (Romans 12:21). But we allow our supernatural response to be used as a powerful testimony (2 Corinthians 6:3-10; Colossians 3:1-2, 8, 12-14). 

We can do this—the Holy Spirit is empowering us to do this. Let’s not get down in the mud with those who slander us, but let’s yield to God and allow Him to handle this painful situation far better than we ever could. 

If you’ve missed any of the messages in this series, you can find them all here. And if you are a pastor, please check out my book When Sheep Bite, which will help you both respond to sheep bites and teach others how to respond as well. 

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Let God Hear Your Voice Continually

Evening and morning and at noon will I utter my complaint and moan and sigh, and He will hear my voice. (Psalm 55:17) 

Let God hear your voice all day long. You can never weary Him by coming to Him too often—He loves when your eyes are on Him alone and your cries for help are for His ears only. 

As you cast your burden on Him, try to leave your burden with Him. Don’t pick it up again (Psalm 55:22). 

But if you find that you are again fretting over a nagging problem, bring that burden to Him again. He wants to bear your burden for you—He wants to answer your prayer in His perfect way and in His perfect timing. 

You may also want to check out a couple of other posts based on Psalm 55:

Should We Listen To Critics?

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Do you know this pair of cantankerous men from the Muppets? Statler and Waldorf sit in the balcony of the theatre and criticize everything that is happening on the stage. I mean everything! They have a good laugh at their barbs, but no one on the stage seems to find it humorous. 

Have you ever met people like this? How do you typically respond to their criticism? 

Unfortunately, those who are trying to do the right thing are often the targets of almost constant criticism. Abraham Lincoln said, “If I were to attempt to answer all the criticisms and complaints I receive, I would have no time for any other business.” 

President Lincoln was a great leader but he wasn’t without fault, so to certain extent we could expect a little bit of criticism from people who didn’t like his policies. But what about Jesus? It was prophesied about Him that He would be the target of criticism (Isaiah 53:3). 

(Check out all of the Scriptures in this post by clicking here.) 

Those out to get Jesus even criticized those who attended to Him. In Mark 14:1-5, they are criticizing a woman who poured perfume on Jesus out of her sincere desire to honor Him. Yet they spoke about her and her actions “indignantly” (v. 4), and they rebuked and criticized her (v. 5). The Greek word in this verse literally means he snorting of horses! 

Jesus stepped in to protect this God-fearing woman, “Why are you bothering her? Why are you criticizing this beautiful thing she had done for Me?” 

Notice that Jesus responded to the critics, but the woman did not respond. Does that mean that we never answer critics? Are we supposed to ignore them? 

First, let’s go back in time to the origin of the words critic and criticism. These words originally meant someone capable of giving a meaningful—perhaps even constructive or helpful—judgment. Think of a trained and skilled chef critiquing your recipe, as opposed to someone who cannot tell the difference between nutmeg and ginger. 

The natural response is to ignore all criticism. The supernatural response is prayerfully evaluate criticism. Solomon says there is such a thing as valid criticism (Proverbs 25:12). 

So who is a valid critic? 

(1) Someone who loves me (Proverbs 27:17; Ephesians 4:15). Paul loved Peter and respected his leadership role in the church, but he still criticized Peter when he messed up (Galatians 2:9, 11).  

(2) Someone who has experience or godly wisdom that we don’t yet have (Ecclesiastes 7:5). Micaiah had a word from God, even though King Ahab thought Micaiah simply didn’t like him (1 Kings 22:1-18). 

(3) Someone who wants to hurt me. Really!? Dick Brogden wrote, “The Lord uses critics to show us our own hearts, even if what they say is not fully true, informed, or even fair. There is almost always a germ of truth in what our critics (in their own pain and disappointment) shout at us. The wise [person] will humble himself and look for the truth embedded in every oppositional interaction.” As we saw previously from Psalm 26:2, when we hear words of criticism, we need to make it a matter of prayer. 

Jesus told the woman’s critics to “leave her alone” but He never defended Himself against the childish barbs (Isaiah 53:7; Matthew 27:13-14). I think we would do well to follow His example. So when criticized, take a deep breath, smile, hear them out, ask clarifying questions, and then say, “Thank you for sharing that with me. I’ll make this a matter of prayer.” 

They might accuse you, but you should turn it over to God (Psalm 109:4). 

The natural response is to respond all critics. The supernatural response is to respond like Jesus (see 1 Peter 2:21-23). 

Remember that quote from Abraham Lincoln we saw earlier? Here’s the rest of his quote—

“From day to day I do the best I can and will continue to do so till the end. If in the end I come out all right, then the complaints and criticisms and what is said against me will make no difference. But, if the end brings me out wrong, then ten angels coming down from heaven to swear I was right would still make no difference.” 

Ultimately, we are longing to hear Jesus say, “Well done.” If He cannot say that to us, does it really matter if everyone else praised us? But if Jesus says, “Well cone,” does it really matter the criticism others said about us? 

Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us respond supernaturally to our critics—listen prayerfully to ever critic, but only respond to them as Jesus did. 

If you have missed any of the other messages in this series When Sheep Bite Sheep, you can find them all here. And if you’re a pastor, be sure to check out my book When Sheep Bite. 

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Links & Quotes

Why do you love the power? Servant leaders love what their leadership role allows them to do for other people.

I have a lot of new video content on my YouTube channel every week. Please check it out and subscribe so you don’t miss anything.

“Friendship is a path that leads very close to the perfection which consists of the enjoyment and knowledge of God, such that a man who is a friend of man is made into a friend of God, according to what the Savior said in the gospel: ‘Now I will not call you servants, but My friends [John 15:15].’” —Aelred of Rievaulx

In studying the intense volcanic activity on Jupiter’s moon Io, the ICR concludes, “Since 2013, evidence of a youthful solar system has only gotten stronger. Scientists have been forced to acknowledge that Saturn’s rings are indeed young, and belief in deep time continues to pose real problems for conventional scientists.” The prestigious Nature concurs, saying, “Some such proposals make planetary researchers uncomfortable, because it is statistically unlikely that humans would catch any one object engaged in unusual activity—let alone several.”

Parents and teachers trying to keep up with the ever-changing lexicon of today’s youth will really appreciate this list of slang from Axis.

“Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world’s estimation.” —Susan B. Anthony 

The story of Esther in the Bible is one of my all-time favorites. “While Esther herself has not been identified, nor has the plot to destroy the Jewish people been confirmed, the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.” To that point, here are 10 pieces of archeological evidence related to this amazing story. 

Charisse Compton asks, “When was the last time meditating on your body elicited worship?” She goes on to make this case from Psalm 139: “Your body, as much as your soul, is one of God’s glorious works. It bears the unmistakable signature of the divine Artist so that, like creation, your body ‘declare[s] the glory of God’ (Psalm 19:1).”