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In today’s episode, Greg and I discuss what it means to be a healthy leader. We break down the various facets of leadership health, and highlight why each piece is part of an essential structure that supports all of the other parts. This was a very important part in my book Shepherd Leadership.
[0:12] Greg and I are looking dapper today!
[1:26] We have both gone through the process of writing books.
[2:30] I reveal the section of my book Shepherd Leadership that has gotten the most attention.
[6:01] I highlight the development of Jesus as recorded in the Gospel of Luke.
[8:40] All aspects of health are important because they support each other.
[10:06] What happens when we get bumped?
[12:25] How do we maintain healthy relationships?
[15:11] Investing time into yourself gives you a greater capacity to serve others.
[16:50] What signs should we watch for that tell us a relationship is strained?
[17:52] Leaders should empower others to solve problems instead of always solving them on their own.
[18:54] It’s easier to avoid relational health in the short-term, but it will hurt you down the road.
[21:28] What’s the best way to improve a relationship?
[22:55] If we have a desire to improve a relationship, how can we get the other person to reciprocate?
[25:40] What was my “aha” moment when writing Shepherd Leadership?
[27:11] Maximize Leadership is a great coaching resource for you.
Check out this episode and subscribe on YouTube so you can watch all of the upcoming episodes. You can also listen to our podcast on Spotify and Apple.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
We do ourselves and the world around us a huge disservice if we are constantly striving for a stress-free life.
First, I don’t think that is even possible! Adam and Eve in the perfection of the Garden of Eden faced a stressful decision. And Jesus, the Perfect Man, was constantly dealing with the stressors that pushed in on Him.
But more importantly, stress is vital for healthy growth. In this case, I am talking about the healthy stress that doctors call eustress. This is the push against the forces that would ultimately pull down our physical health, our relationships, our mental health, and a host of other things if we simply opt to “go with the flow.”
“In a world that often sells ways to avoid stress, it’s crucial to remember that stress can be healthy in moderation. Stress and anxiety can trigger neural and chemical processes in your body designed to help you respond to challenges. Stress researcher Daniela Kaufer explains that ‘some amounts of stress are good to push you to the level of optimal alertness for behavioral and cognitive performance.’ Her research on stress in rats has even demonstrated that intermittent stressful events can create new brain cells in the rats that actually improve their future mental performances.”
The Bible makes it clear that persevering through the stressors that come against us can make us stronger, healthier, and better equipped for the next challenge. We are also fortified to help others through their times of stress (James 1:2-4; Romans 5:3-5; 2 Corinthians 1:3-5).
The poet Epictetus noted this about the mighty Hercules—
“What would have become of Hercules do you think if there had been no lion, hydra, stag or boar—and no savage criminals to rid the world of? What would he have done in the absence of such challenges?
“Obviously he would have just rolled over in bed and gone back to sleep. So by snoring his life away in luxury and comfort he never would have developed into the mighty Hercules.
“And even if he had, what good would it have done him? What would have been the use of those arms, that physique, and that noble soul, without crises or conditions to stir into him action?” —Epictetus, The Discourses
So the next time you are thinking about avoiding something that causes stress in your life, why don’t you reframe that thought. Instead, think about how you can become stronger, healthier, and more empathetic toward others because you are committed to successfully navigating that stressful situation.
Don’t ask God to get you out of this situation, but ask Him to help you get something out of this situation.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
I find it interesting how many spiritual disciplines have both a physical and spiritual impact on our lives. Bible study, solitude, and giving all have benefits in both the physical and spiritual realms. This is even more apparent in spiritual discipline #4—fasting.
As we saw with giving last week, fasting is another one of the spiritual activities that Jesus has a cautionary word for us (Matthew 6:16-18). As with giving and praying, Jesus notes that there are only two categories: true fast-ers and hypocrites. Of course, hypocrite means someone simply playing a role—it’s not who they really are.
In Matthew 9:14-17, Jesus is asked about fasting and He uses some unusual analogies about fabrics and wineskins to teach us two don’ts about fasting:
Don’t fast if you’re not ready for it. Jesus notes that “the unshrunken cloth” will do damage to both the new and old pieces of fabric. This goes back to the get-to vs. have-to attitude we should have about spiritual discipline.
Don’t try to add a new religious practice to a religion-hardened heart. Jesus addresses this using the analogy of new wine ruining old wineskins.
These fasting thoughts aren’t a teaching that is exclusive to the New Testament, but through the prophet Isaiah, God addressed it in the exact same way (Isaiah 58:5-9). In this passage we can learn the dos about fasting:
Do fast when my heart’s motivation is a hunger for more of God.
Do fast as the Holy Spirit directs you, not in a formulaic, lifeless ritual.
I’m not a big fan of diets that are no-no diets because telling people what they cannot eat isn’t a good motivator. But telling people what they can eat brings joy and freedom.
The insidious nature of junk food is not so much the fat, sugar, and other unhealthy ingredients, but the fact that junk food is really empty calories. Your body needs a certain amount of fuel to operate. Junk food contains calories but lacks nutrients. You eat junk food, your body sends a signal to your brain that you’re no longer hungry, and then you never eat the nutrient-rich food. This is why your Mom may have told you something like, “Broccoli first, then dessert.”
The Hebrew word for “fast” literally means to cover the mouth, but I think fasting is more than that. Just as we said money was one aspect of giving, so food is one aspect of fasting. The idea behind fasting is to be able to identify the “empty calories” of some of our lifestyle choices so that we can feast on the rich “nutrients” that God has for us.
Just as junk food with its empty calories keeps us from nutrient-rich food, hours of video games or TV binge watching keeps us from mind-enriching learning, endless social media scrolling keeps us from developing real relationships with real people, and obsessive news gathering keeps us from focusing on God’s promises.
Periodically fasting from these things will allow us to spot the junk food we’ve been consuming. Our so that statement for this spiritual discipline says: I fast so that I can identify the junk food that is keeping me from feasting on Jesus.
Can I give you a brief assignment for this spiritual discipline? After making sure your heart attitude about fasting is God-honoring, add regular fasting to your life so that you can use that time to feast on Jesus.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Doctors and scientists have repeatedly shown how important sleep is for us physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. So it’s an important question to ask: Are you getting enough sleep?
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Without a doubt, Jesus had the most robust mental health of anyone who has ever walked planet Earth! Dr. Luke, a trained physician, captures this in just one verse (Luke 2:52) where he talks about how Jesus grew in a wholly healthy way, and Luke lists Christ’s mental health as the first priority.
I’m sure there have been plenty of times when someone asks you about something you like or dislike or why you do something the way you do, you probably don’t tell them the facts but you tell them a story. We have a story for everything we like, everything we do, and everything we avoid.
It’s good to rehearse these stories and to really listen to them. If we don’t really listen to them, we cannot learn from them; if we don’t learn from them, we rob ourselves of robust mental health.
From some of our stories, there is a regret that comes from three enemies. These enemies are all tied to our stories about our past and they are would’ve, could’ve, and should’ve—“If only I would’ve…” and “Things would be different today if I could’ve…” and “I should’ve known….”
One of the ways we need to talk back to those thoughts is like this, “I only know the would’ve, could’ve, and should’ve now because I’m older and more experienced. I didn’t know those things in the past so it was impossible for me to have done something differently.” Even the apostle Paul noted, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me” (1 Corinthians 13:11).
If we don’t talk back to those regrets of yesterday, we will have doubts about today: Will I make another mistake today? Do I have what it takes to meet today’s challenges? What will others think of me if I mess up? If we don’t address those doubts we have today, that will cause us worry and stress about tomorrow.
Regret … doubt … worry … stress. Those don’t really sound like words that contribute to positive mental health, do they?
Here’s the thing we need to remember—Learning from our yesterdays is healthy, but trying to relive our yesterdays is both unhealthy and unproductive!
Dr. William Osler said, “If the load of tomorrow is added to that of yesterday and carried today, it will make the strongest falter.”
Four times in just ten verses, Jesus told His followers not to worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:25-34). He ties that worry about tomorrow to having little faith. That lack of faith comes from our doubts, and those doubts come from our past regrets.
T.G.I.F.—thank God it’s Friday!—is an escapism. It’s not wanting to deal with the regrets, doubts, and worry by trying to push them to some distant time. It doesn’t allow us to really concentrate on today. The Bible constantly brings us back to the present.
Today is used 203 times in the NIV Bible
Tomorrow is mentioned 56 times
Yesterday is only used 8 times
Jesus taught us to pray, “Give us today our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11) so that we won’t let past regrets spiral downward into daily doubts and then anxiety about tomorrow. Elizabeth Elliot wisely counseled, “One reason we are so harried and hurried is that we make yesterday and tomorrow our business, when all that legitimately concerns us is today.”
Christians that want to be mentally healthy should continually replace a T.G.I.F. mindset with T.G.I.T.—thank God it’s today!
Taking a line from Joshua who said, “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15), here are four things we need to choose to remember each day.
Choose to remember that God uses all things—even our would’ve, could’ve, and should’ves—for our good and for His glory (Romans 8:28).
Choose to forget those old, self-limiting, stress-causing stories (Philippians 3:13).
Choose to believe that God is doing something new—something I never could have planned (Isaiah 43:18-19).
Choose to believe that God can help you tell a new story about your past (Genesis 41:51).
You have to choose each day to say “Thank God it’s today! Thank God that I’m not who I was yesterday! Thank God that He is using my would’ve-could’ve-should’ve moments from yesterday to prepare me for today! Thank God that He is teaching me a new story!”
If you’ve missed any of the previous messages in our series on a Christian’s mental health, you can find them all here.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
I had a great time on the Thriving In Ministry podcast with Kyle Willis while his podcast partner Dace Clifton was on sabbatical.
There is a profound truth in a simple observation about how Jesus grew: “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52). Jesus was healthy in all of these areas. That means He had the proper work-rest balance in each of these areas too.
We should learn from this example and find different ways to rest and recover mentally, physically, spiritually, and relationally, just as Jesus did.
I encourage you to take a listen to this part of our conversation.
How can you take a mental rest? Perhaps by reading or listening to something uplifting, or maybe simply taking time to think about what you’ve been thinking about.
For physical rest, you might take a nap, schedule a vacation, or contemplate changing something in your diet.
For spiritual rest, you could sing a worship song or quietly meditate on a passage of Scripture.
For relational rest, you could have breakfast with a good friend or go for a walk with your spouse.
And don’t forget to tap into the wisdom and expertise of others in these areas. Talk with a mental health professional about your mental health, see a doctor about your physical health, visit with a wise mentor to discuss your spiritual health, or see a counselor about your relational health. You don’t have to come up with all of the answers on your own.
There has never been anyone as perfectly healthy as Jesus. He was wise, physically healthy, spiritually strong, and emotionally resilient. My co-host Greg and I talked about this on a recent episode of our leadership podcast The Craig And Greg Show. Check out this snippet. I dive deeper into this topic in five chapters in my book Shepherd Leadership.
Fight The New Drug reports how easily sex trafficking happens in the porn industry. They also share a recent survey of how many teens are watching pornography while at school.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
I had a great time on the Thriving In Ministry podcast with Kyle Willis while his podcast partner Dace Clifton was on sabbatical.
From all of the podcasts and interviews they had done, Kyle shared with me how so many pastors find it difficult to take a Sabbath break. Kyle noted that a pastor’s day of rest seems to bump into everyone else’s day of work.
That passage in Mark 6 that I mentioned is instructive for leaders in a couple of ways. First, Jesus was looking out for His teammates. He saw that they were tired and He called them to a place of rest. Good shepherds are always tuned in to the needs of the flock around them. As David said in Psalm 23, the Good Shepherd knows when to lead us to quiet pastures and still waters.
Second, I see that Jesus was also tuned in to Himself. Even though He was trying to get to a quiet place, He took time to minister in teaching and food to a crowd that was described as “sheep without a shepherd.” When this time was finished, Jesus took time alone to pray (Mark 6:46).
I think sometimes leaders have sabotaged their own health and effectiveness by saying things like, “This is quitting time” or “This is my day off.” Instead, we should listen to the Holy Spirit giving us insight like, “Take a break now. It’s time to go to a quiet pasture. It’s time to recharge in prayer.”
Leaders, don’t stick rigidly to your schedule but stay tuned in to yourself. Listen for the unmistakable voice of the Holy Spirit giving you wisdom. I have a section of five chapters in my book Shepherd Leadership that deal with every aspect of a leader’s health. Please pick up a copy today.
I’ll be sharing more clips from this Thriving In Ministry interview soon, so please stay tuned. Shepherd Leadership: The Metrics That Really Matter is available in print or ebook, and in audiobook through either Audible or Apple.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase, “The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”
This is a line from a poem written by Robert Burns in 1785 called To A Mouse. The story behind the poem is Burns had been plowing his field and destroyed a nest that a mouse had been working all day to build. His poem was written as an apology. The famous line from the Scottish poet actually is written like this—
The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!
That phrase “gang aft agley” means often go awry.
Do you ever feel this way? Like your perfectly planned agenda got derailed before you even finished breakfast? Or that your To Do list never quite gets “To Done” by the end of the day?
I had a great time on the Thriving In Ministry podcast with Kyle Willis while his podcast partner Dace Clifton was on sabbatical. We had planned to discuss how to help pastors get some rest so they could be at their optimal health, but our best laid plans definitely “gang aft agley”! We had multiple technical issues before we could even start recording, and then just as we talked about how pastors could find a way to rest, well, this happened…
Ah yes! Plans gone awry, indeed!
But here is an important principle for all of us to remember. The Bible says this: We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps (Proverbs 16:9). That means the thing that I call “an interruption” may be something or someone God has sent my way.
I used to really struggle with this, saying things like, “My plans never work out.” Until one day I heard the distinct voice of the Holy Spirit ask me, “Whose plans?”
Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:13-15)
Pastor, look at the life of Jesus. He often tried to get away for a time of rest, but people with needs showed up. His well-laid plans appeared to go awry. But He had compassion on them because He viewed them “like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:36; Mark 6:34). Jesus then found time to sabbath later.
Don’t view people with needs as an interruption or as something that derails your plans, but thank God for sending them your way. Then listen to the Holy Spirit showing you how and when you can get the rest you need to be energized to accomplish the rest of the items on your agenda.
I’ll be sharing more clips from this Thriving In Ministry interview soon, so please stay tuned. Shepherd Leadership: The Metrics That Really Matter is available in print or ebook, and in audiobook through either Audible or Apple.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
I had a great time on the Thriving In Ministry podcast with Kyle Willis while his podcast partner Dace Clifton was on sabbatical.
Kyle and I wanted to help pastors get a better understanding of the value of a sabbath rest, but also an understanding of the challenges that come with trying to sabbath. Throughout the Old Testament, we read of God taking the Israelites to task for their unwillingness to rest, which ultimately led to them having to take a forced rest.
As I mentioned in this interview, just because the calendar says “Sunday” doesn’t automatically mean that it’s a sabbath day. This is especially true for pastors who are busily engaged in ministry activities on Sundays. But I take comfort in the example of Jesus who showed shepherd leaders how to make sabbathing an active and integral part of effective ministry.
I have a chapter in my book Shepherd Leadership called “A Healthy Shepherd’s Sabbath,” and then I have a follow-up chapter called “Can’t, Won’t, or Don’t” which addresses some changes pastors can make to ensure they are getting the vital rest they need. If you are a church leader, I encourage you to pick up a copy of my book Shepherd Leadership: The Metrics That Really Matter.
I’ll be sharing more clips from this Thriving In Ministry interview soon, so please stay tuned. Shepherd Leadership: The Metrics That Really Matter is available in print or ebook, and in audiobook through either Audible or Apple.
In today’s episode, Greg and I discuss what it means to be a healthy leader. We break down the various facets of leadership health, and highlight why each piece is part of an essential structure that supports all of the other parts. This was a very important part in my book Shepherd Leadership.
Craig T. Owens 