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If leaders say or do the right thing in the wrong way, it really becomes the wrong thing. This is why leaders—especially those who have been sheep-bitten and want to bring corrections—need to take a pause.
In that short moment of reflection, the Holy Spirit can help pastoral leaders respond in a way that will bring restoration, not more pain and possibly division.
I talked about this idea from chapter 2 of my book When Sheep Bite on the Leading From Alignment podcast with John Opalewski and Jim Wiegand.
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Do you know this pair of cantankerous men from the Muppets? Statler and Waldorf sit in the balcony of the theatre and criticize everything that is happening on the stage. I mean everything! They have a good laugh at their barbs, but no one on the stage seems to find it humorous.
Have you ever met people like this? How do you typically respond to their criticism?
Unfortunately, those who are trying to do the right thing are often the targets of almost constant criticism. Abraham Lincoln said, “If I were to attempt to answer all the criticisms and complaints I receive, I would have no time for any other business.”
President Lincoln was a great leader but he wasn’t without fault, so to certain extent we could expect a little bit of criticism from people who didn’t like his policies. But what about Jesus? It was prophesied about Him that He would be the target of criticism (Isaiah 53:3).
Those out to get Jesus even criticized those who attended to Him. In Mark 14:1-5, they are criticizing a woman who poured perfume on Jesus out of her sincere desire to honor Him. Yet they spoke about her and her actions “indignantly” (v. 4), and they rebuked and criticized her (v. 5). The Greek word in this verse literally means he snorting of horses!
Jesus stepped in to protect this God-fearing woman, “Why are you bothering her? Why are you criticizing this beautiful thing she had done for Me?”
Notice that Jesus responded to the critics, but the woman did not respond. Does that mean that we never answer critics? Are we supposed to ignore them?
First, let’s go back in time to the origin of the words critic and criticism. These words originally meant someone capable of giving a meaningful—perhaps even constructive or helpful—judgment. Think of a trained and skilled chef critiquing your recipe, as opposed to someone who cannot tell the difference between nutmeg and ginger.
The natural response is to ignore all criticism. The supernatural response is prayerfully evaluate criticism. Solomon says there is such a thing as valid criticism (Proverbs 25:12).
So who is a valid critic?
(1) Someone who loves me (Proverbs 27:17; Ephesians 4:15). Paul loved Peter and respected his leadership role in the church, but he still criticized Peter when he messed up (Galatians 2:9, 11).
(2) Someone who has experience or godly wisdom that we don’t yet have (Ecclesiastes 7:5). Micaiah had a word from God, even though King Ahab thought Micaiah simply didn’t like him (1 Kings 22:1-18).
(3) Someone who wants to hurt me. Really!? Dick Brogden wrote, “The Lord uses critics to show us our own hearts, even if what they say is not fully true, informed, or even fair. There is almost always a germ of truth in what our critics (in their own pain and disappointment) shout at us. The wise [person] will humble himself and look for the truth embedded in every oppositional interaction.” As we saw previously from Psalm 26:2, when we hear words of criticism, we need to make it a matter of prayer.
Jesus told the woman’s critics to “leave her alone” but He never defended Himself against the childish barbs (Isaiah 53:7; Matthew 27:13-14). I think we would do well to follow His example. So when criticized, take a deep breath, smile, hear them out, ask clarifying questions, and then say, “Thank you for sharing that with me. I’ll make this a matter of prayer.”
They might accuse you, but you should turn it over to God (Psalm 109:4).
The natural response is to respond all critics. The supernatural response is to respond like Jesus (see 1 Peter 2:21-23).
Remember that quote from Abraham Lincoln we saw earlier? Here’s the rest of his quote—
“From day to day I do the best I can and will continue to do so till the end. If in the end I come out all right, then the complaints and criticisms and what is said against me will make no difference. But, if the end brings me out wrong, then ten angels coming down from heaven to swear I was right would still make no difference.”
Ultimately, we are longing to hear Jesus say, “Well done.” If He cannot say that to us, does it really matter if everyone else praised us? But if Jesus says, “Well cone,” does it really matter the criticism others said about us?
Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us respond supernaturally to our critics—listen prayerfully to ever critic, but only respond to them as Jesus did.
If you have missed any of the other messages in this series When Sheep Bite Sheep, you can find them all here. And if you’re a pastor, be sure to check out my book When Sheep Bite.
“Friendship is a path that leads very close to the perfection which consists of the enjoyment and knowledge of God, such that a man who is a friend of man is made into a friend of God, according to what the Savior said in the gospel: ‘Now I will not call you servants, but My friends [John 15:15].’” —Aelred of Rievaulx
In studying the intense volcanic activity on Jupiter’s moon Io, the ICR concludes, “Since 2013, evidence of a youthful solar system has only gotten stronger. Scientists have been forced to acknowledge that Saturn’s rings are indeed young, and belief in deep time continues to pose real problems for conventional scientists.” The prestigious Nature concurs, saying, “Some such proposals make planetary researchers uncomfortable, because it is statistically unlikely that humans would catch any one object engaged in unusual activity—let alone several.”
Parents and teachers trying to keep up with the ever-changing lexicon of today’s youth will really appreciate this list of slang from Axis.
“Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world’s estimation.” —Susan B. Anthony
The story of Esther in the Bible is one of my all-time favorites. “While Esther herself has not been identified, nor has the plot to destroy the Jewish people been confirmed, the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.” To that point, here are 10 pieces of archeological evidence related to this amazing story.
Charisse Compton asks, “When was the last time meditating on your body elicited worship?” She goes on to make this case from Psalm 139: “Your body, as much as your soul, is one of God’s glorious works. It bears the unmistakable signature of the divine Artist so that, like creation, your body ‘declare[s] the glory of God’ (Psalm 19:1).”
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If the expected target metrics of today’s program are met, we expect significant workflow performance advancements from team lead positioned individuals.
Does that seem a little complicated? Jargon in the workplace can very quickly cause significant problems, leading to confusion and disengagement in your team. The solution is simple—clear, concise communication. So let’s try this again without the jargon: Greg and I hope that this episode inspires you to remove the jargon from your communication, and as a result you will see your leadership influence grows.
[0:41] Today we are returning to Leadership Builders and Killers with a topic inspired by a series of videos I saw online about business jargon.
[3:21] Greg asks, “Why all the jargon?”
[5:34] Jargon can take away from what you want to communicate, and can cause others to disengage from the conversation.
[8:26] Jargon is antithetical to a commitment to clarity.
[9:33] I share a story of a conversation with students that highlights wisdom we can take into the workplace.
[12:06] One of the lowest form of communication is assumption.
[14:03] It’s important to circle back with people after a meeting to maker sure they understood.
[15:13] Jargon frequently shows up when there’s bad news to share, and when leaders are trying to cast vision.
[16:50] Sometimes we use jargon to hide.
[19:30] I share a story from the life of John Wesley about how he became a better communicator.
[21:14] It’s important to communicate with everyone on an even playing field, and not use jargon to avoid being pinned down.
[22:39] Using jargon can negatively impact your influence as a leader. Conversely, clear communication will lift your influence.
[24:58] Jargon can creep into your communication without you being aware of it. A coach from outside your industry can help you notice these blind spots.
Check out this episode and subscribe on YouTube so you can watch all of the upcoming episodes. You can also listen to our podcast on Spotify and Apple.
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There is one word that people seem to speak that is blocking the blessings that God wants to send to them.
Check out this latest episode of The Podcast.
Get into God’s Word, and let His Word build your faith to cling to Him in faith until His promise ultimately appears. Don’t let the negative people around you, or your current circumstance, or anything else cause you to walk away from the blessing God wants to give you!
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Check out a couple of ways I could greet you in this post:
It’s great to see all of you today. I am really glad you stopped by my blog.
In fact, no one is as astute as you are. No one digs into the Scripture the way you do. There is no one else in the world that I would want visiting my blog today.
What did I just do? I went from genuinely complimenting you to flattering you. I bit you. Flattery is a sneaky bite that we need to be aware of.
A compliment is simply defined as an expression of praise or admiration.
Flattery, on the other hand, crosses the line. It’s defined as trying to please someone by excessive or insincere praise. The reason why I call flattery a bite is because the flatterer is only thinking about himself, not about you.
Flatterers are trying to get something for themselves. See how the rich young man tried to do this by flattering Jesus in Mark 10:17. The Amplified Bible brings out the man’s flattery more clearly: Teacher, You are essentially and perfectly morally good.
This man was looking for the secret formula that would get him into Heaven, so he wasn’t complimenting Jesus but flattering Him to get a favorable answer.
Jude described these pseudo-religious people as ones who “flatter others for their own advantage” (Jude 1:16). The NKJV says they use “great swelling words.” Peter describes these same kinds of people as speaking “great swelling words of emptiness” (2 Peter 2:18).
Flatterers are trying to trip you up so they are recognized as your superior. Once again, we can see how tricksters tried this tactic on Jesus in Mark 12:14. We know they are insincere because of the background information Mark gives us in vv. 12-13.
David described flatterers in Psalm 12:1-3. The AMPC says they talk “with flattering lips and double heart” and The Message paraphrases it, “Lies slide off their oily lips. They doubletalk with forked tongues” (v. 2).
Solomon warns us of the net they are setting for us: Those who flatter their neighbors are spreading nets for their feet (Proverbs 29:5).
Flatterers are trying to cover up their own sinfulness. David again diagnoses this in Psalm 36:1-4. This also means that sometimes we can flatter ourselves to avoid dealing with our own sin.
It’s natural to want to hear a compliment, but we need supernatural discernment to protect ourselves from the sneaky bite of flattery.
Look how Jesus did this in Mark 10:17-18. Remember the Amplified Bible that laid it on so thick? Jesus responded correctly: “There is no one essentially and perfectly morally good—except God alone” (v. 18). If we are going to do any comparing at all, let’s compare ourselves to our perfect God and Savior. Remember, we have done a self-check (Psalm 26:2) so we know what’s really there!
Swallowing this flattery only fuels the pride inside us. C.S. Lewis warned, “It was through Pride that the devil became the devil; it is the complete anti-God state of mind. … Pride is a spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.”
Look at the other example from Jesus in Mark 12:12-15. When Jesus sensed their flattery, He called it what it was: hypocrisy!
Flattery makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. Flattery makes you forget the things the Holy Spirit has revealed to you that needs work. But Jesus asked, “What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” (Mark 8:36 NLT).
The sincerest compliment we should all be living to hear is, “Well done, good and faithful servant! Enter into your Master’s happiness forever and ever!” No other voice matters!
Check out the other messages in this series called When Sheep Bite Sheep by clicking here. And if you are a pastor, check out my book When Sheep Bite.
Timothy D. Padgett asks, “Is there such a thing as Judeo-Christianity?” This is an interesting read, but I especially liked this passage: “This is key. When we speak of Judeo-Christianity, we’re not talking about salvation. We are talking about philosophy, even worldview. A Christian worldview must be just that: Christian. A faithful Jew apart from Christ is no more saved than a devout Muslim or an honest atheist, and any philosophy that leaves out the Incarnation will lack its ultimate hope.”
“A human being without a friend is like a beast: for he lacks someone with whom he can share his joy in prosperity and his sadness in adversity, to whom he may unburden his mind when he is preoccupied, with whom he may talk whenever he has had a particularly sublime or illuminating insight…That person is completely alone who has no friend.” —Aelred of Rievaulx
John Stonestreet and Dr. Glenn Sunshine point out that there are some “who believe that AI is a vehicle through which trans-dimensional, non-human intelligences are communicating with us.” Their post is called The Rise of Technopaganism. Of course, this is nothing new: The apostle Paul addressed mankind creating its own god and worshiping it, just as some are now doing with AI.
“It’s better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret.” —Jackie Joyner-Kersee
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Christians should always be striving for a win-win in our relationships. If we try to “win” at the expense of other saints, we all end up losing. So it boils down to this: It’s either a win-win or it’s a lose-lose—there are no other options in God’s Kingdom.
If you would like to watch the full sermon that this clip came from, you can find it here.
You may also be interested in these related posts:
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Have you ever heard this little saying: “To live above with saints we love, oh, that will be glory. But to live below with saints we know, well, that’s a different story”? I’ve found that it’s sometimes true!
We love Psalm 133:1-3 when the saints are all together. What a great “selling point” to invite someone to be a part of the Christian community! But Psalm 41:7-9 is kind of embarrassing as David talks about former friends who have hurt him deeply.
But being bitten by a fellow sheep is a reality we all have experienced, and, sadly, we will probably have to deal with again in the future. There is a natural way we tend to react when we’ve been bitten, but there is also a supernatural response that the Bible consistently calls us to. This is the God-glorifying way we all need to strive for.
In Acts 23, Paul is standing before the Sanhedrin. He opens his remarks by simply saying he has a clear conscience before God, and the high priest immediately orders that Paul be smacked on the mouth! That seems like a bit of an over-reaction on the part of the high priest, but maybe it was a bit of show of force to let Paul know who was really in charge. Paul responded with an immediate—and natural—reaction when he says, “God will slap you!”
Paul is an old man by this time. He’s been through shipwrecks, beatings, imprisonments, gone without food, traveled more miles than he can count, and preached more sermons than he can remember. His body was giving out on him, and his eyesight was especially weak. Clearly, Paul didn’t realize to whom we was addressing his remarks. But when he became aware, he immediately owned up to his mistake. Paul offered no excuses or justifications, just a quick, simple, sincere apology.
When you have been bitten (slapped) by another sheep, you should ask:
Could I have provoked them by something I said or did?
Could I have hurt them by something I didn’t say or do?
David prayed a great prayer in Psalm 139:23. But this prayer is only effective if we are willing to accept that we may have been the agitator that led to the bite. In the last words that Job speaks in the Book of Job, he is very introspective. Check out all of the “If I have” statements throughout Job 31.
In Psalm 26:2, David invites the Holy Spirit to check him three times!
test me = scrutinize me
try me = assay me
examine me = refine me in the fire
When we are bitten, we should be open to the possiblity that God is using this bite to get my attention—to make me aware of a fault in my life or something that’s been in a blind spot.
So we should consider the following:
Has this kind of bite happened more than once? From different sheep?
Has a spiritually wise person attempted to address this with me before?
Do I ever admit that I’m at fault, or is it always the other person’s fault?
Do I find myself making a list of why they should apologize to me?
When was the last time I apologized to someone else?
If the Holy Spirit reveals something in us, He will also empower us to make the change and make amends. The natural response is to place all the blame on others. The supernatural response to pray Psalm 26:2 before responding.
If we react only the natural way, it is a lose-lose for us and for the whole pasture. But if we learn to respond in a supernatural way, it becomes a win-win for everyone. Listen to the wise words of King Solomon—
He who heeds instruction and correction is not only himself in the way of life but also is a way of life for others. And he who neglects or refuses reproof not only himself goes astray but also causes to err and is a path toward ruin for others. (Proverbs 10:17 AMPC)
Let’s all strive for the supernatural response that is a win-win for the whole Kingdom of God!
Please follow along with all of the messages in this series by clicking here.
P.S. If you are a pastor, you may want to check out my book When Sheep Bite.
Craig T. Owens 