Beyond IQ (book review)

Beyond IQHow many times have you been told that your Intelligence Quotient (IQ) determines how smart you are? Probably quite often, but Garth Sundem’s new book Beyond IQ challenges that long-held assumption.

Sundem writes, “Raw intelligence is good: it helps shape your potential top speed. But there’s much, more more that goes into realizing it. This brain-training book for everything but IQ will teach you how to drive your mind—to get the most from what you’ve got under the hood.”

Indeed, Sundem not only shares the findings of top psychologists and other brain experts from around the world, but tells you the practical applications of those findings. Each chapter is loaded with brain-boosting exercises that you can do to tap into the intelligence that God has given you.

I found this book to be not only educational, but a lot of fun too! The exercises were engaging and challenging in a way that made me want to bookmark them and come back again and again. That, says Sundem, is what will allow you to harness the greatest potential in your brain power.

I am a Three Rivers Press book reviewer.

5 Noteworthy Quotes In “Stand Strong”

Stand StrongNick Vujicic does an excellent job in his book Stand Strong in helping students, parents, and teachers learn how to overcome bullies. You can read my full review of Stand Strong by clicking here.

I have already shared some of Nick’s quotes from this book, and some quotes specifically relating to the emotional toll bullying can have on those being picked on. Nick also makes the point that there are some invaluable lessons to be learned by overcoming adversity in our lives. Here are some of the quotes that Nick shared in his excellent book.

“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” —Epicurus

“All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me. … You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” —Walt Disney

“Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as much as adversity has.” —Billy Graham

“Most of the verses written about praise in God’s Word were voiced by people who were faced with crushing heartaches, injustice, treachery, slander, and scores of other difficult situations.” —Joni Eareckson Tada

“Friendships provide a context in which children develop, but of course so do negative peer relations. … We should expect that both types of relationships, as different as they are, present opportunities for growth.” — psychologist Maurissa Abecassis

11 Quotes From Nick Vujicic In “Stand Strong”

Stand StrongStand Strong is an invaluable resource for school-age students, their parents, and teachers and principals in our schools. Nick Vujicic uses his own life as an example of how to overcome bullies. You can read my full book review by clicking here. Below are some quotes from the author I highlighted in this book.

“If someone hurt you, then become the person who reaches out to others who are hurting. If you were not treated with compassion, then change that pattern by offering compassion to others. If no one stood up for you, then stand up for someone else.” 

“What happens in our lives isn’t about chance. It’s about choice. You and I may not be able to stop bullies and thoughtless people from saying and doing hurtful things, but we do have the ultimate power—the power to choose how we respond and how we live.”

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to fit in and be accepted, but there is something wrong with abandoning your values and beliefs to do it. … Try this instead: Be so comfortable with yourself that other people feel comfortable with you too. Create a life that makes you so joyful that they will want to share in your happiness.” 

“Being secure and comfortable in your identity, trusting that you have value, and having a strong sense of your purpose are important in every aspect of life. Those qualities also help make you less vulnerable to bullying. … If we let bullies drag us down with their cruelty and meanness, why can’t we pull ourselves back up by being friends to ourselves and building up our confidence and spirits when we need a boost? … So here’s my suggestion for a simple, easy-to-apply, no muss, no fuss first step to building your antibully 1.0 operating system. Be a friend to yourself. Forgive your mistakes, your flaws, and your failures. Be kind to yourself instead. Focus on the good.”

“What’s easier to hit, a sitting duck or a rabbit on the run? If bullies are looking for someone to hit, their last choice will be a moving target, someone who has it in gear with the pedal to the metal on the road to a better life.” 

“If you are generous to others, you will feel better about yourself, and that makes it more difficult for bullies or anyone else to get to you.”

“Being gentle isn’t about being weak. … Being gentle is more about practicing humility, giving up the need to be right, putting other people first, being a good listener and a good friend, protecting those who are being abused, and comforting those in need. … Many of the strongest and most admirable people I know are gentle spirits who don’t have to prove how tough they are on the outside because they are so strong on the inside.” 

“Psychologists say the more social interactions we have—the closer we are to family members, and the more friends and acquaintances we have—the less likely it is that a bully can isolate us as targets.”

“One of the key facts about relationships: people respond to you and treat you according to the way you act, not the way you think or feel.” 

“The people I want to keep close and trust the most are those who make me want to be better, smarter, more loving, more open minded, more collaborative, more trustworthy, more empathetic, more faith filled, more God loving, more grateful, more forgiving, and more open to opportunities to serve God and those around me. These are the type of friends that will make you and me bully proof.”

“I encourage you to develop empathy for others, like the Good Samaritan showed. Please do everything you can to protect others from emotional and physical harm caused by bullies. … Stand together so no one will stand alone!” 

 

Links & Quotes

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Some really good reading (and watching) from this weekend…

“The Constitution was never meant to prevent people from praying; its declared purpose was to protect their freedom to pray.” —Ronald Reagan

“I hope that when you’re my age you’ll be able to say, as I have been able to say: we lived in freedom, we lived lives that were a statement, not an apology.” —Ronald Reagan

Senator Ted Cruz reminds us: Never Forget The Gift Of Freedom.

Want more proof that Planned Parenthood’s singular focus is death? Check out the awards they hand out.

“We lack a comfort in just being alone with our thoughts. We’re constantly looking to the external world for some sort of entertainment,” says Malia Mason, a psychologist at Columbia University. A study finds: Many people would rather endure physical pain than be alone with their own thoughts.

[INFOGRAPHIC] Stats on homelessness.

“For if a man is always busy talking and yet is slow to act, he shows by his acts how worthless his knowledge is: besides it is much worse to know what one ought to do, and yet not to do what one has learnt should be done. On the other hand, to be active in good works and unfaithful at heart is as idle as though one wanted to raise a beautiful and lofty dome upon a bad foundation.” —Ambrose

“Faith feeds on the Word of God. Without a steady diet it gets weaker and weaker. If you are dissatisfied with your Christian courage and joy and purity of heart, check the way you are feeding your faith.” —John Piper

I Like Giving (book review)

I Like GivingWhen you read a title like I Like Giving you might immediately think, “This is a book telling me to tithe, or give bigger offerings to my church, or support my local charity.” And you would be dead wrong. Brad Formsma’s book isn’t really about giving money away, it’s about giving yourself away.

Brad writes, “When we choose to give, we change, and the people around us change. When we move from awareness to action, miracles happen. When we allow giving to be our idea, a world of possibilities opens up before us, and we discover new levels of joy.”

Indeed, Brad weaves together his own personal stories, with stories from other givers, and even a healthy dose of medical and psychological research data to show us just how life-transforming and joy-producing it is when we are giving people. Not only are the gift receivers benefitted, but so are the gift givers.

Let me state it again: this book isn’t about giving your money to a charitable organization or a church; it’s about you seeing a need and finding a way to take care of that need. If everyone took on this mindset, just imagine how our communities would change!

One final thought from author Brad Formsma—“I don’t think we can ever overestimate just how profound the effects of giving can be. You can give without loving, but you can’t love without giving. The reality is that other people are watching how we live our lives, and what we do can have extraordinary effects in our communities. Generosity is for all of us. It is available to all of us, even when the cultural tide is moving in the opposite direction. Why not be brave and live differently?” (emphasis added)

Let I Like Giving be a springboard for you to live differently and to make a difference where you live!

I am a Waterbrook book reviewer.

Links & Quotes

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[VIDEO] Brilliant! The Bible’s place in our worldview.

“The most common remedy for most behavioral and mental disorders today is some form of self-worth enhancement. It pervades our educational institutions, the psychotherapeutic and counseling system, the personnel and motivational industry, advertising, and even the church. I think the remedy is flawed. … What is the root of mental health? My answer is, God. Or seeing God as God and enjoying Him as God, which involves being forgiven by God and welcomed with utterly free grace. I personally believe that these truths are hijacked when they are used to make self-esteem the root of mental health.” —John Piper

[COMIC] What the parishioners think the clergy think the parishioners think the clergy do.

15 great G.K. Chesterton quotes.

Why America doesn’t need Planned Parenthood.

Live Action releases a scathing 6-year investigation of Planned Parenthood.

How we glorify God by sleeping.

Better Sex

The Gospel invitationOur culture has a sexualized agenda. Just look at how Hollywood portrays us today:

  • Few happy marriages.
  • Lots of sex-crazed, inept husbands with strong wives who use or withhold sex as a reward or punishment.
  • Flawlessly beautiful actors (not a zit to be seen).
  • No consequences for sex—no pregnancy, STDs or AIDS.
  • No depression for broken relationships; no anxiety or eating disorders because of the psychological pain.
  • Sex outside of marriage is normal, and those who abstain are the weird ones.

We cannot stand on our soapboxes and rail against culture.

We cannot just tell them what we’re against, but we’ve got to tell them what we’re for.

We’ve got to give them the compelling truth for the beauty, joy, and fulfillment of sex God’s way.

The Gospel—the Good News—is an invitation, not an ultimatum. We’ve got to share with others what’s good about God’s counter culture way concerning sex! 

“I think our present outlook might be like that of a small boy who, on being told that the sexual act was the highest bodily pleasure should immediately ask whether you ate chocolates at the same time. On receiving the answer ‘No,’ he might regard absence of chocolates as the chief characteristic of sexuality. In vain would you tell him that the reason why lovers in their carnal raptures don’t bother about chocolates is that they have something better to think of. The boy knows chocolate: he does not know the positive thing that excludes it.” —C.S. Lewis

All Hollywood knows is the “chocolate” of people acting on their immediate feelings, with no understanding of long-term consequences.

Better sex comes from doing things God’s way = one man and one women married for life.

Proverbs 5 presents the advantages of being married and being intimate with just one person. I especially love this passage—

Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman? (verses 15-20)

This is better sex because it’s pure:

  • No sharing sexually transmitted diseases from previous partners.
  • No comparison to how you are in bed compared to previous partners.
  • No psychological fall-out.
  • Intimacy without reservation.
  • A release of dopamine (the feel-good hormone) unlike you’ll ever get with “casual” sex.
  • And most importantly: A relationship God can—and does!—bless.

Hollywood knows nothing about real love and a truly satisfying, fulfilling sex life. But God does! That’s why the Apostle Paul tells us, “Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Corinthians 6:20), because God created your body and knows how it can get the highest, purest pleasure.

Better sex comes when you have sex God’s way!

Stopping Words That Hurt (book review)

Stopping Words That HurtContrary the nursery rhyme—Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me—we all know that words do hurt! Dr. Michael Sedler addresses this topic in a unique way in Stopping Words That Hurt.

Reading that title you would think that this is a book about controlling your tongue, but we already know we’re supposed to do that, right? So Dr. Sedler takes a different angle and challenges us to control our thoughts and our environment. He shows us how being receptive to the negative words that others are speaking starts a downward cycle in our hearts and minds that leads to us not only receiving but perpetuating negative reports about others.

This book is not “pop psychology,” but is solidly grounded on biblical principles for heading-off negative reports at their source. Stopping Words That Hurt is filled with practical strategies for confronting gossipers, analyzing our own attitudes, and turning negative environments (where gossip flourishes) into positive environments where people are affirmed and built up.

I plan to use the strategies in this book to help the students that attend the youth center I direct to become catalysts for changing the environment in their schools and homes. Although adults can use this information too, I see a very receptive audience in pre-teens and teenagers. Parents, you need to read this book to be able to help your children as well.

I am a Chosen Books book reviewer.

Thursdays With Oswald—Helping Me Do What God Desires

This is a weekly series with things I’m reading and pondering from Oswald Chambers. You can read the original seed thought here, or type “Thursdays With Oswald” in the search box to read more entries.

Helping Me Do What God Desires

     My spirit has no power in itself to lay hold of God; but when the Spirit of God comes into my spirit, He energizes my spirit, then the rest depends upon me. If I do not obey the Spirit of God and bring into the light the wrong things He reveals and let Him deal with them, I shall grieve Him, and may grieve Him away. 

     …That is a most wonderful thing in Christian psychology, viz., that a saint chooses exactly what God pre-determined he should choose. If you have never received the Spirit of God this will be one of the things which is “foolishness” to you; but if you have received the Spirit and are obeying Him, you find He brings your spirit into complete harmony with God. … 

     When God’s Spirit comes into our spirit, we can will to do what God wants us to do. “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13). … 

     We cannot give ourselves the Holy Spirit; the Holy Spirit is God Almighty’s gift if we will simply become poor enough to ask for Him. … But when the Holy Spirit has come in, there is something we can do and God cannot do, we can obey Him. If we do not obey Him, we shall grieve Him. “And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God” (Ephesians 4:30). 

From Biblical Psychology

Jesus told us that the Holy Spirit would be our constant Companion in helping us come into one-ness with the Father and Son. The key question is this: Am I obeying the Spirit’s promptings?

I will never progress in my spiritual development unless I am readily obeying what the Spirit is revealing. 

Father, I need your Holy Spirit! As I feel the Spirit working in me, may I never grieve Him, but instead fully deal with whatever He reveals to me.

Are You Worthy Of God’s Favor?

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Today some call her “the holy mother” and revere her as a saint. But 2000 years ago, Mary saw herself as only an ordinary, faceless, fame-less, Israelite girl.

  • She came from Nazareth (a town of which people said, “Can anything good come from Nazareth?!”)
  • Nazareth was in the region of Galilee (an area of which people said, “No one special has ever come from Galilee”)
  • She was pledged to be married (probably a marriage that she had no say in)
  • And she was a young teenager

What did Mary think of herself? We can infer her self-image from what went on her mind when God’s angel greeted her with the words, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”

She was greatly troubled and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. Psychologists today would describe Mary’s response as inner dissonance—the feeling that something is not quite right, but she couldn’t put her finger on exactly what was wrong. The phrase greatly troubled is a single Greek word which means agitated and perplexed by doubts.

In short: the way the angel greeted Mary didn’t jive with the way Mary saw herself (see Luke 1:26-38).

Mary, like many of us still today, didn’t think she was worthy of God’s attention, let alone His special blessings.

But the word the angel used when he said she was highly favored is a wonderful word! It’s root word is grace, and it only appears twice in the New Testament. This word means God’s grace which is constantly reaching out to us, even when we’re unaware of it. Look at the other passage where this word is used—

God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace He has poured out on us who belong to His dear Son. (Ephesians 1:5-6 NLT)

How amazing! God wants to adopt you! It’s something that brings Him great pleasure, so He constantly pours out the blessing of His grace on us!

Are you worthy of God’s favor? YES!! Not because you did anything to earn it, but because Jesus paid the price for you on the Cross.

Now you need to respond the way Mary did. The angel told Mary to “Fear not!” The verb tense implies that Mary needed to stop fretting about her (un)worthiness, and simply accept the grace that God was extending to her. In other words, she needed to see herself as God saw her.

Mary’s response should be our response: “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.”

If you have missed any of the messages in our Fear Not! series, you can find them all by clicking here.

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