When swelling and pride come, then emptiness and shame come also, but with the humble (those who are lowly, who have been pruned or chiseled by trial, and renounce self) are skillful and godly Wisdom and soundness. (Proverbs 11:2 AMPC)
The pruning, trials, and discipline the Lord allows us to experience are for an important purpose: To allow ourselves to be emptied of ourselves. This humility that empties us of ourselves makes room for us to be full of the presence of God.
On the other hand, remaining full of yourself—also called “pride”—will also bring an emptiness. But this emptiness comes with shame and is absent of God’s fulfilling presence.
You and I must choose one or the other: humility before God or pride in ourselves.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Do you know this pair of cantankerous men from the Muppets? Statler and Waldorf sit in the balcony of the theatre and criticize everything that is happening on the stage. I mean everything! They have a good laugh at their barbs, but no one on the stage seems to find it humorous.
Have you ever met people like this? How do you typically respond to their criticism?
Unfortunately, those who are trying to do the right thing are often the targets of almost constant criticism. Abraham Lincoln said, “If I were to attempt to answer all the criticisms and complaints I receive, I would have no time for any other business.”
President Lincoln was a great leader but he wasn’t without fault, so to certain extent we could expect a little bit of criticism from people who didn’t like his policies. But what about Jesus? It was prophesied about Him that He would be the target of criticism (Isaiah 53:3).
Those out to get Jesus even criticized those who attended to Him. In Mark 14:1-5, they are criticizing a woman who poured perfume on Jesus out of her sincere desire to honor Him. Yet they spoke about her and her actions “indignantly” (v. 4), and they rebuked and criticized her (v. 5). The Greek word in this verse literally means he snorting of horses!
Jesus stepped in to protect this God-fearing woman, “Why are you bothering her? Why are you criticizing this beautiful thing she had done for Me?”
Notice that Jesus responded to the critics, but the woman did not respond. Does that mean that we never answer critics? Are we supposed to ignore them?
First, let’s go back in time to the origin of the words critic and criticism. These words originally meant someone capable of giving a meaningful—perhaps even constructive or helpful—judgment. Think of a trained and skilled chef critiquing your recipe, as opposed to someone who cannot tell the difference between nutmeg and ginger.
The natural response is to ignore all criticism. The supernatural response is prayerfully evaluate criticism. Solomon says there is such a thing as valid criticism (Proverbs 25:12).
So who is a valid critic?
(1) Someone who loves me (Proverbs 27:17; Ephesians 4:15). Paul loved Peter and respected his leadership role in the church, but he still criticized Peter when he messed up (Galatians 2:9, 11).
(2) Someone who has experience or godly wisdom that we don’t yet have (Ecclesiastes 7:5). Micaiah had a word from God, even though King Ahab thought Micaiah simply didn’t like him (1 Kings 22:1-18).
(3) Someone who wants to hurt me. Really!? Dick Brogden wrote, “The Lord uses critics to show us our own hearts, even if what they say is not fully true, informed, or even fair. There is almost always a germ of truth in what our critics (in their own pain and disappointment) shout at us. The wise [person] will humble himself and look for the truth embedded in every oppositional interaction.” As we saw previously from Psalm 26:2, when we hear words of criticism, we need to make it a matter of prayer.
Jesus told the woman’s critics to “leave her alone” but He never defended Himself against the childish barbs (Isaiah 53:7; Matthew 27:13-14). I think we would do well to follow His example. So when criticized, take a deep breath, smile, hear them out, ask clarifying questions, and then say, “Thank you for sharing that with me. I’ll make this a matter of prayer.”
They might accuse you, but you should turn it over to God (Psalm 109:4).
The natural response is to respond all critics. The supernatural response is to respond like Jesus (see 1 Peter 2:21-23).
Remember that quote from Abraham Lincoln we saw earlier? Here’s the rest of his quote—
“From day to day I do the best I can and will continue to do so till the end. If in the end I come out all right, then the complaints and criticisms and what is said against me will make no difference. But, if the end brings me out wrong, then ten angels coming down from heaven to swear I was right would still make no difference.”
Ultimately, we are longing to hear Jesus say, “Well done.” If He cannot say that to us, does it really matter if everyone else praised us? But if Jesus says, “Well cone,” does it really matter the criticism others said about us?
Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us respond supernaturally to our critics—listen prayerfully to ever critic, but only respond to them as Jesus did.
If you have missed any of the other messages in this series When Sheep Bite Sheep, you can find them all here. And if you’re a pastor, be sure to check out my book When Sheep Bite.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Check out a couple of ways I could greet you in this post:
It’s great to see all of you today. I am really glad you stopped by my blog.
In fact, no one is as astute as you are. No one digs into the Scripture the way you do. There is no one else in the world that I would want visiting my blog today.
What did I just do? I went from genuinely complimenting you to flattering you. I bit you. Flattery is a sneaky bite that we need to be aware of.
A compliment is simply defined as an expression of praise or admiration.
Flattery, on the other hand, crosses the line. It’s defined as trying to please someone by excessive or insincere praise. The reason why I call flattery a bite is because the flatterer is only thinking about himself, not about you.
Flatterers are trying to get something for themselves. See how the rich young man tried to do this by flattering Jesus in Mark 10:17. The Amplified Bible brings out the man’s flattery more clearly: Teacher, You are essentially and perfectly morally good.
This man was looking for the secret formula that would get him into Heaven, so he wasn’t complimenting Jesus but flattering Him to get a favorable answer.
Jude described these pseudo-religious people as ones who “flatter others for their own advantage” (Jude 1:16). The NKJV says they use “great swelling words.” Peter describes these same kinds of people as speaking “great swelling words of emptiness” (2 Peter 2:18).
Flatterers are trying to trip you up so they are recognized as your superior. Once again, we can see how tricksters tried this tactic on Jesus in Mark 12:14. We know they are insincere because of the background information Mark gives us in vv. 12-13.
David described flatterers in Psalm 12:1-3. The AMPC says they talk “with flattering lips and double heart” and The Message paraphrases it, “Lies slide off their oily lips. They doubletalk with forked tongues” (v. 2).
Solomon warns us of the net they are setting for us: Those who flatter their neighbors are spreading nets for their feet (Proverbs 29:5).
Flatterers are trying to cover up their own sinfulness. David again diagnoses this in Psalm 36:1-4. This also means that sometimes we can flatter ourselves to avoid dealing with our own sin.
It’s natural to want to hear a compliment, but we need supernatural discernment to protect ourselves from the sneaky bite of flattery.
Look how Jesus did this in Mark 10:17-18. Remember the Amplified Bible that laid it on so thick? Jesus responded correctly: “There is no one essentially and perfectly morally good—except God alone” (v. 18). If we are going to do any comparing at all, let’s compare ourselves to our perfect God and Savior. Remember, we have done a self-check (Psalm 26:2) so we know what’s really there!
Swallowing this flattery only fuels the pride inside us. C.S. Lewis warned, “It was through Pride that the devil became the devil; it is the complete anti-God state of mind. … Pride is a spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.”
Look at the other example from Jesus in Mark 12:12-15. When Jesus sensed their flattery, He called it what it was: hypocrisy!
Flattery makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. Flattery makes you forget the things the Holy Spirit has revealed to you that needs work. But Jesus asked, “What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” (Mark 8:36 NLT).
The sincerest compliment we should all be living to hear is, “Well done, good and faithful servant! Enter into your Master’s happiness forever and ever!” No other voice matters!
Check out the other messages in this series called When Sheep Bite Sheep by clicking here. And if you are a pastor, check out my book When Sheep Bite.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Have you ever heard this little saying: “To live above with saints we love, oh, that will be glory. But to live below with saints we know, well, that’s a different story”? I’ve found that it’s sometimes true!
We love Psalm 133:1-3 when the saints are all together. What a great “selling point” to invite someone to be a part of the Christian community! But Psalm 41:7-9 is kind of embarrassing as David talks about former friends who have hurt him deeply.
But being bitten by a fellow sheep is a reality we all have experienced, and, sadly, we will probably have to deal with again in the future. There is a natural way we tend to react when we’ve been bitten, but there is also a supernatural response that the Bible consistently calls us to. This is the God-glorifying way we all need to strive for.
In Acts 23, Paul is standing before the Sanhedrin. He opens his remarks by simply saying he has a clear conscience before God, and the high priest immediately orders that Paul be smacked on the mouth! That seems like a bit of an over-reaction on the part of the high priest, but maybe it was a bit of show of force to let Paul know who was really in charge. Paul responded with an immediate—and natural—reaction when he says, “God will slap you!”
Paul is an old man by this time. He’s been through shipwrecks, beatings, imprisonments, gone without food, traveled more miles than he can count, and preached more sermons than he can remember. His body was giving out on him, and his eyesight was especially weak. Clearly, Paul didn’t realize to whom we was addressing his remarks. But when he became aware, he immediately owned up to his mistake. Paul offered no excuses or justifications, just a quick, simple, sincere apology.
When you have been bitten (slapped) by another sheep, you should ask:
Could I have provoked them by something I said or did?
Could I have hurt them by something I didn’t say or do?
David prayed a great prayer in Psalm 139:23. But this prayer is only effective if we are willing to accept that we may have been the agitator that led to the bite. In the last words that Job speaks in the Book of Job, he is very introspective. Check out all of the “If I have” statements throughout Job 31.
In Psalm 26:2, David invites the Holy Spirit to check him three times!
test me = scrutinize me
try me = assay me
examine me = refine me in the fire
When we are bitten, we should be open to the possiblity that God is using this bite to get my attention—to make me aware of a fault in my life or something that’s been in a blind spot.
So we should consider the following:
Has this kind of bite happened more than once? From different sheep?
Has a spiritually wise person attempted to address this with me before?
Do I ever admit that I’m at fault, or is it always the other person’s fault?
Do I find myself making a list of why they should apologize to me?
When was the last time I apologized to someone else?
If the Holy Spirit reveals something in us, He will also empower us to make the change and make amends. The natural response is to place all the blame on others. The supernatural response to pray Psalm 26:2 before responding.
If we react only the natural way, it is a lose-lose for us and for the whole pasture. But if we learn to respond in a supernatural way, it becomes a win-win for everyone. Listen to the wise words of King Solomon—
He who heeds instruction and correction is not only himself in the way of life but also is a way of life for others. And he who neglects or refuses reproof not only himself goes astray but also causes to err and is a path toward ruin for others. (Proverbs 10:17 AMPC)
Let’s all strive for the supernatural response that is a win-win for the whole Kingdom of God!
Please follow along with all of the messages in this series by clicking here.
P.S. If you are a pastor, you may want to check out my book When Sheep Bite.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
My podcast partner Greg Heeres asked me if I had found one thing that really worked in developing or deepening relationships. My answer is short and to the point.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
If you’re a shepherd leader, what do you do when the sheep under your care go, “Grrrr!”?
To make sure that you haven’t done anything that caused the murmuring, you should humbly pray, “Search me, O God” (Psalm 139:23-24). And then, if you see you have done something wrong, repent and make things right. You may want to check out my blog post A Leader’s Sincere Apology.
After this, Moses has given us in Exodus 16:8-9 two actions to take with murmuring sheep:
If it wasn’t anything that you did, you need to remind yourself that the people are murmuring against God.
If it wasn’t anything that you did, you need to remind the sheep that they are murmuring against God.
My son, be attentive to my Wisdom—godly Wisdom learned by actual and costly experience—and incline your ear to my understanding of what is becoming and prudent for you. (Proverbs 5:1)
A checklist for a good mentor:
✔️they are God-fearing
✔️ they have learned good lessons in bad times
✔️ they are willing to invest in you what they have learned
Happy (blessed, fortunate, enviable) is the man who finds skillful and godly Wisdom, and the man who gets understanding [drawing it forth from God’s Word and life’s experiences]. (Proverbs 3:13 AMPC)
Sir Francis Bacon wrote, “God has, in fact, written two books, not just one. Of course, we are all familiar with the first Book He wrote, namely Scripture. But He has written a second book called creation.”
God’s Word tells us about our life’s experiences, and it tells us about our observations of His creation and our experiences. These observations and experiences should take us back to God’s Book to fully appreciate and apply them in a manner which glories God.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Charles Spurgeon said, “We too often rush into the presence of God without forethought or humility. We are like people who present themselves before a king without a petition, and what wonder is it that we often miss the end of prayer?” I hope you are starting to…
Spurgeon also asked an important question: “Do we not miss very much of the sweetness and efficacy of prayer by a want of careful meditation before it, and hopeful expectation after it?”
We talked about competing priorities, but also how Jesus made prayer the priority for His life. This means that some things we call important may have to temporarily be set aside.
Let’s look at the example of Jesus. He prioritized prayer over:
Training. In Luke 5:16 and 9:18 we see Jesus praying in private even though His disciples were right there with Him. This was so revolutionary to the disciples that it prompted them to ask Jesus how they could pray like He did (Luke 11:1-13).
Sleep. Mark 1:32-35 tells us Jesus was up after sunset ministering to the needs of people, and that He was up and praying while it was still dark. And Luke 6:12 tells us Jesus spent the whole night in prayer before making a big decision.
Strategizing. The big decision Jesus had to make was choosing the twelve men who would be His apostles—the ones He would spend the most time training and preparing. He didn’t hold strategizing sessions or interviews with the perspective candidates, but He spent the night praying for wisdom (Luke 6:12-13).
Ministering. People were looking for Jesus, but He guarded His prayer time so the Holy Spirit could guide Him into His ministry time (Mark 1:37).
Why did He treat prayer this way? Because He knew that God knows our day better than we do. He knows the people will encounter, the conversations that we need to have, the decisions that await us. So we must prayerfully entrust our days to Him (Proverbs 16:9, 3:5-6).
Remember that Spurgeon said “careful meditation” before prayer and then “hopeful expectation after it.” This is exactly what David said in Psalm 5:1-3 where he was expectant of God’s answers throughout the day.
We see this example throughout the Bible, but let me give you three quick examples:
Hagar’s eyes were opened to see the supply of water that was already there (Genesis 21:14-19)
Eliezer had success in finding a wife for Isaac by seeing a woman that was already at the well (Genesis 24:7, 12-15, 21, 27)
Nehemiah prayed for 4 months so he could pray in the moment that the king asked him what he needed to be successful (Nehemiah 1:4, 11; 2:1-4, 8)
I think this is what Paul meant when he told us to “pray continually “ (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
Jesus could announce that everything He did (John 5:19) and everything He said (John 12:49) was directed by the Father.
We can live like this too, if we will only make prayer the priority that sets the order for any other thing that we call a priority. Missionary Hudson Taylor said, “Do not have your concert first, and then tune your instrument afterwards. Begin the day with the Word of God and prayer, and get first of all into harmony with Him.”
If you have missed any of the messages in our series called Our Prayer Book, you can find them all by clicking here.
For though I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it—for I see that that letter caused you sorrow, though only for a while—I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. (2 Corinthians 7:8-10 NASB)
Is it okay for you to hurt your friend’s feelings?
I think it is acceptable if those painful words save your friend from a world of hurt.
We must not hold back from speaking a painful truth, but if we do have to share that word, we must ensure that we are speaking that truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Remember that people don’t care what you know until they know that you care. The goal of truth-telling is not to hurt a friend’s feelings, but to spare that friend a greater pain or to see that friend get stronger.
If you have to speak these words, be sure to water your lovingly truthful words in tears before you share them. As Jesus said, “Remove the plank in your own eye first” (Matthew 7:5).
If you are on the receiving end of painful words, ask yourself, “Is this a friend who loves me and wants the best for me? If so, is there truth in these words?” Even if the words were delivered clumsily, see the love behind the words and find the truth that can help you make a change for the better (Proverbs 27:6, 17).
To dive a little deeper into this topic, check out my video on The Podcast called Speak the truth in love.
When swelling and pride come, then emptiness and shame come also, but with the humble (those who are lowly, who have been pruned or chiseled by trial, and renounce self) are skillful and godly Wisdom and soundness. (Proverbs 11:2 AMPC) 
Craig T. Owens 