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My book When Sheep Bite is a manual of help for church leaders who have been hurt by the very sheep they are attempting to help. This book was birthed from a very painful chapter in my own ministry.
But as dark as that time was, there was a ray of light that helped me to smile during the dark times and for years and years afterwards. Here is an excerpt from the chapter ‘Cry Before Your Confront’ in When Sheep Bite—
We used to have a funny saying in our family. Our puppy would be straining to get free and one of us would cry out, “Release the hound!”
After reading the previous chapter about imprecatory prayers, and hopefully putting that into practice, I hope you felt some relief from your anger. But when you read my reminder that David’s “Get ‘em, God!” cry was for God’s ears only, perhaps you were a little disappointed. Maybe you were hoping for someone to give you a green light to “release the hound” on those biting, kicking, and wayward sheep.
Wouldn’t it be so wonderful to unleash something—anything!—on those difficult sheep? As shepherds, we have so many ways we can dress up our unleashed hounds in biblical-sounding language. Maybe a righteous rebuke like the psalmist recorded: “You rebuke the arrogant, who are accursed, those who stray from Your commands” (Psalm 119:21). Or perhaps a well-timed prophetic thunderbolt like when Samuel was praying and “the Lord thundered with loud thunder against the Philistines and threw them into such a panic” (1 Samuel 7:10). Or even a strategic lightning strike from God’s throne as when the soldiers from King Ahaziah came to forcibly take Elijah to the king (2 Kings 1:11-12).
One of my favorite prayers is a prayer of David’s that is given added emphasis since it is recorded twice in the Scripture (2 Samuel 22 and Psalm 18)—
In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice; my cry came before Him, into His ears. The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because He was angry. Smoke rose from His nostrils; consuming fire came from His mouth, burning coals blazed out of it. He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under His feet. … Out of the brightness of His presence clouds advanced, with hailstones and bolts of lightning. The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded. He shot His arrows and scattered the enemy, with great bolts of lightning He routed them. (Psalm 18:6-9, 12-14)
Wow, how good it must have felt for David to unleash these words! And yet we still see that they were words only for God’s ears, spoken when David was alone with the Almighty God. Isn’t there something we can say or do to our obstinate sheep? Yes, there is, but there is something we need to be reminded of first.
After a particularly grueling day of being bitten, kicked, and attacked by the angry sheep in my pasture, I came home and announced, “Tomorrow is ‘Be Kind to Craig Owens Day!” While driving home and licking my wounds, I had determined that I needed a day off—a day to unplug from all of the madness and make sure I was taking care of myself.
Let me add a very important truth here. In fact, it’s so important that I’m going to print it in bold letters: Self-care is not selfish! Far too many shepherds think that taking time off to care for themselves, especially in the midst of all of the chaos, is a selfish thing to do.
Selfish is different. Selfishness is self-centered. Selfishness is saying, “I’m going to take care of myself and I don’t care what happens to others while I’m doing what I want to do.” Self-care is a strategic withdrawal to take care of myself so that I can return to take care of others. It is like the instructions on an airplane to put your own oxygen mask on first before you try to help a small child with their mask. If I pass out, I’m no good to anyone else. Just as Jesus “often withdrew to lonely places and prayed” (Luke 5:16), we must find times to care for ourselves so that we are strengthened to help others when we return to the fray. This concept of self-care is so vital that I have dedicated all of Chapter 12 to explaining this idea to you in more depth.
My family still celebrates the Be Kind to Craig Owens Day “holiday” but we mainly remember it because of something else that happened in our family.
On this inaugural event, I planned a day of reading, praying, walking, and recuperating. I silenced my phone and withdrew for that entire Friday. After a nice evening with my family, I decided to extend my self-care time into Saturday. My daughter and I went out to breakfast, and because we both enjoy animals so much, we decided to stop into a new pet store and play with the puppies for a while.
Almost instantly, both of us were captivated by a very special dog. There was something about her that drew us to her. In short order, we were on the phone with my wife and my sons asking them to join us at the pet store. We ended up walking out of the store that morning with a new addition to our family.
My wife later remarked that this puppy was the best irresponsible decision we ever made. Part of the reason this was true is that this puppy became my constant companion. I took her to my office with me so that I would have a source of unconditional love to offset all of the brutal attacks I was absorbing.
When John Bradford saw a cartful of men going off to Tyburn to be hanged for their crimes, he said to a friend, “There goes John Bradford but for the grace of God.” When I stopped to think what was different between my behavior and the behavior of these biting sheep, I realized it was only the grace of God that had kept me from descending into the same ugly behavior. That’s when I decided to name our new puppy Grace. I wanted to say that name over and over and over again. I desperately needed to be reminded of God’s grace for me. I also needed to be reminded that God wanted my biting sheep to know His grace too.
When we cried out, “Release the hound,” it was because Grace was straining at her leash to overwhelm someone with her love. She wanted nothing more than to show them how much she welcomed them into her presence.
I’ll be honest with you: When some of my biting sheep came storming into my office to berate me for something and Grace wanted to run to them with love and acceptance, I wanted to scold her and keep her back. This, I think, was the attitude of the older brother when his wayward brother returned home and was lovingly welcomed back into the fold by their father (Luke 15:11-32). But when I paused to think of God’s amazing grace that “saved a wretch like me,” I was reminded that God’s grace also wants to restore other wayward, obstinate, unreasonable sheep.
Our annual reminder of this event is really remembering our dog Grace’s “Gotcha Day.” It’s our annual reminder that grace is best seen in times and places that it is least expected.
If you are a church leader, please pick up a copy of When Sheep Bite to help you on your healing journey. And if I can be of assistance to you, please get in touch with me.
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Craig T. Owens 