Listen to the audio-only version of this podcast by clicking on the player below, or scroll down to watch the video.
Criticism is baked into leadership. Any change you make, whether good or bad, will be met with some level of criticism either internally or externally. Other times, you’ll be in the position of having to express criticism of a decision someone on your team made.
Navigating criticism in a productive way can be tricky, but luckily Greg and I are here to help! In this episode, we discuss how the right kind of criticism can be empowering for your organization.
[0:27] Leaders will always be criticized, even for the good things they have done.
[1:30] Leaders need both humility and confidence to process criticism in a healthy way.
[4:18] Is criticism different than an assessment? It seems like the word “critic” has been hijacked in a negative way.
[6:00] Defensiveness doesn’t help leaders, but we do need to protect ourselves.
[8:27] How do we give constructive criticism without putting others on the defensive?
[10:22] Why is it hard for people to receive criticism?
[12:55] How should we give feedback to others so that it will be received well?
[16:15] Is there a correlation between criticism and coachability?
[19:57] Let’s remember that many of our teammates have had negative interactions with a critical
leader, so we have to change the climate.
[21:28] What happens if a teammate won’t receive any feedback at all?
[23:20] Greg shares an insightful quote from Winston Churchill.
[25:26] As always, leaders have to go first!
Check out this episode and subscribe on YouTube so you can watch all of the upcoming episodes. You can also listen to our podcast on Spotify and Apple.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
The dad knew it was impossible. His son knew it was impossible since he had lived with it nearly all of his life. All of their family and friends knew it was impossible because they had seen the devastation. The disciples of Jesus even proved it was impossible.
The son was plagued by a demon. In a last-ditch effort, the beleaguered dad brought his boy to the disciples of Jesus. But the disciples were stymied. The dad said to Jesus, “I begged Your disciples to drive it out, but they could not” (see Luke 9:37-43; Mark 9:14-27).
Jesus loves “impossible” situations.
What seems impossible to humans is merely an opportunity for the greatness of God to be seen.
Don’t run from your difficulties.
Don’t quake at the impossibilities.
Don’t try to solve the seemingly unsolvable on your own.
Bring the “impossible” to Jesus.
Jesus said to the dad, “Bring your son here.” Jesus rebuked the impure spirit, healed the boy, and gave him back to his father.
This is why Jesus loves it when we bring the impossible to Him: God’s glory is made abundantly clear. Luke records, “And they were all amazed at the greatness of God.”
The greater the difficulty, the greater the glory of God is seen in the deliverance.
Don’t throw in the towel on your situation. Don’t throw up your hands in despair. Instead, bring your impossibility to the One who is never stymied, never at a loss, never too weak or too busy to meet your need. Bring it to Jesus and let Him do what only He can do.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
When Luke says first that “Jesus grew in wisdom,” that is our indication that a healthy mind is at the foundation for every other aspect of health (Luke 2:52). We don’t see Jesus anxious or worried, we don’t see Him confused in His thinking, or even indecisive of what to say or do. So by studying the life of Jesus—and the Scriptures on which He relied—we, too, can improve our mental health.
This may sound unbelievable when you first read this, but I believe that at their foundation, anxiety and assurance are remarkably similar. The similarity is that they both have faith.
The dictionary defines faith as a strong or unshakeable belief in something. The biblical definition of faith is remarkably similar: “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1).
Using those definitions of faith, let me point out the similarity and the difference between the anxious mind and the assured mind:
Anxiety is faith or expectation that something bad is going to happen.
Assurance is faith or expectation that something good is going to happen.
But the biggest difference of all is seen in the mental health of the one worried and anxious about the bad things that are coming versus the one who is confidently assured of the good things that are coming.
If we are going to be mentally healthy people, we need to shift our faith from anxiety to assurance every single time we feel the worry building in our hearts. This isn’t just changing our mindset but knowing what we believe and why we believe it.
Assurance and anxiety both believe in the unseen. The assured person believes in God’s promises to provide all that we need, while the anxious person doubts their own abilities and resources will be able to sustain them.
As a result, the assured person has an abundance mindset, while the anxious person has a scarcity mindset.
These feelings can be traced back to our faith about the origins of the universe. The assured person believes that God transcends this universe—that He existed before time began and spoke all created things into existence (Hebrews 11:3). But the anxious person is still trying to find answers in constantly-changing theories about the universe’s beginning.
Finally, the person who sees the universe and their own life as accidental becomes quite anxious and uneasy when they think about death, and what may or may not come on the other side. But the one who trusts God as their Creator is confident that God is their eternal reward (Hebrews 11:6).
Hebrews 11 is filled with the accounts of assured people who shifted their faith away from anxiety—believing something bad was going to happen—to the assurance that God was bringing about something incredibly good! Hebrews 12 then invites Christians today to remember that cloud of witnesses and keep our eyes on Jesus, who is described as the Author and Perfecter of our faith, so that we don’t lose hope (Hebrews 12:1-3).
I’ve previously shared seven strategies for a Christian to maintain a strong mental health. Our eighth strategy is a constant shifting of our faith away from anxiety to assurance. Every single time an anxious thought tempts us to believe something bad is coming, we need to make a shift toward the assurance of God’s goodness.
Really quickly, here is how we can use the first seven strategies to help us make that shift:
Pray for the Holy Spirit to help you make a new path.
Notice your fearful or anxious words and pull them out by the root.
Confront the thought patterns that are causing fear or anxiety.
Talk back to those fearful thoughts with the truth from God’s Word.
Check the inputs that may be causing fear (poor diet, not taking time for solitude, anxious friends, etc.).
Focus on today—I like the words of the song “strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow!”
Don’t look to escape, but take time to de-escalate.
The word “saints” is always plural in the New Testament. That means that each us needs all of us, and all of us need each of us. Check out this full message here. I have lots of new content every week, which you can check out on my YouTube channel.
“The words of the civil codes of God’s Law are neither salvific nor exhaustive; they are, rather, designed to illustrate applications of the Ten Commandments in various situations, so that local judges and authorities could reason based on the words of the Law concerning what the spirit of the Law required in any situation.” —T.M. Moore
“Sin grows when we think we deserve something from God, or life. Godliness grows when we remember we are debtors to God, throughout life.” —Tim Keller
“Pornography is not new. Archeological discoveries testify that fascination with sexual portrayals is nearly as old as humanity. Yet our times present new challenges. Technological advancements coupled with moral corrosion are increasing the accessibility and normality of pornography at a dizzying rate.” Check out this post that shares nine ways parents can talk about pornography with their children.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Sometimes, as I look back on my life, I wonder how I ended up where I ended up. It certainly hasn’t been a journey that I could have mapped out.
Nor would I have wanted to try.
God has so perfectly and lovingly led me to positions and experiences that have taught me invaluable lessons. These are lessons I would have missed out on had I been the one in charge of my path.
As I was meeting with a group of pastors online, I shared a brief story about one of the unexpected paths God brought me to.
There are two places in the Bible that have really helped me. First is the wise words of King Solomon: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
The other verse is this, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). This promise assures me that not one experience in my life—pleasant or unpleasant—has been wasted. God is using all these things for my good and for His glory.
So, the next time you find yourself wondering how you ended up where you ended up, be assured that God has a plan and a purpose for your life and that He is overseeing every step of your journey.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Let’s keep in mind why we are learning and working on these spiritual disciplines. The key phrase is “so that”—I get stronger so that we can get stronger.
Today we are looking at spiritual discipline #2—Solitude. We will need discipline to abide with Jesus in our time of solitude—removing all distractions—so that we can respond better to our circumstances, and help other saints respond better too.
Part of the dictionary definition of solitude is “a place absent of human activity.” Note that important word human activity. Solitude is a time for stepping back from all our human striving to get a heavenly perspective. Solitude is a proactive pause in difficult times so that we can respond with a God-honoring reaction.
Let me give you five ideal situations to discipline ourselves to find solitude.
(1) After ministry exertion. I’m sure there have been times when an interaction with another person or a group of people has exhausted you. It’s at these times we should find a place of solitude to be refreshed, just as Jesus did (Luke 5:16).
(2) In stormy times. When everything around us seems to be unstable, proactively pausing in a time of solitude is saying with the psalmist, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble,” and then hearing God say to our anxious hearts, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:1, 10). These are the same words Jesus said to both the stormy seas and the disquieted hearts of His disciples (see Mark 4:35-39).
(3) When we’re between a rock and a hard place. This is when we feel like neither option before us is a pleasant one. Like when the Israelites were caught between the onrushing Egyptian army and the uncrossable Red Sea. Listen to how similar the words of Moses sound, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (see Exodus 14:1-14).
(4) When we have a big decision ahead. We may gather all of the information and do our our research and still feel inadequate to make a good decision. Jesus had hundreds of disciples, but He needed to choose just twelve to serve as His apostles. Before making this decision, Jesus spent the night in solitude with His Father (Luke 6:12-13).
(5) When we get angry. There are other strong emotions that sometimes seem to overwhelm us, but I’ve noticed that anger causes more people to fly off the handle than most of the other emotions. When Jesus saw the shameful way the temple was being used, He got so angry that His disciples recalled the Psalm that said zeal was burning Him up (Psalm 69:9; John 2:17). Instead of reacting in the heat of the moment, Jesus spent all night in solitude with His Father (Mark 11:11, 19).
Then keep in mind that solitude is not retreating and staying away from others, but solitude is so that I can effectively respond to pressing situations. Christian solitude is not me-time, it’s us-time (where the “us” is me + Jesus) so that I’m ready for we-time (where the “we” is me + others).
This is such an important discipline for Christians so that we don’t respond inappropriately in an intense situation, but we respond in a Christ-like way that brings glory to God. Pay attention to your strong emotions, listen to the Holy Spirit, and proactively find a place of solitude.
Questions engage people more than statements do. Check out the full conversation Greg and I had on The Craig And Greg Show. I have lots of new content every week, which you can check out on my YouTube channel.
“In America, we have a tendency to worship our work, work at our play, and play at our worship.” —Lenny Esposito
“Young people are told, ‘You’ve got plenty of time, live a little, first,’ as if life ends after the wedding. The truth about marriage, however, is that it is, statistically, the single best predictor of long-term happiness. Making this even more important to understand is that for at least the last 20 years now, Americans have been steadily getting less happy.” Here’s how John Stonestreet shares this report from the University of Chicago.
T.M. Moore shared an interesting component of early-colonial American lawmaking: “Peruse the civil codes of the American colonies and you will discover a curious phenomenon. Frequently, colonial legislators drafted their civil codes by looking to the Old Testament Law of God.”
Dr. Tim Clarey said, “The global Flood also answers why dinosaurs were still alive and flourishing until the end of the Cretaceous. At that moment in the Flood, they were likely trying to stay on the highest ground available as waters encroached closer, week by week. As the dry land rapidly disappeared, many species herded together. This explains why varied types of dinosaurs were buried together at the end of the Cretaceous. The Flood’s tsunami-like waves eventually crashed over the remaining dinosaurs and entombed them in what’s called Upper Cretaceous strata.” Check out more evidence for the Flood that is recorded in the Book of Genesis.
Criticism is baked into leadership. Any change you make, whether good or bad, will be met with some level of criticism either internally or externally. Other times, you’ll be in the position of having to express criticism of a decision someone on your team made.
Craig T. Owens 