When Grief Becomes A Testimony

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

None of us are strangers to grief—we’ve all experienced this dark place. 

The dictionary defines grief three ways: (1) keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; (2) sharp sorrow; (3) painful regret. We sometimes define it with terms like at the end of my rope, down for the count, nothing but gray skies all around, or unable to see any light at the end of the long tunnel. 

One psychologist recently asked, “Can you die of a broken heart?” And she meant it literally. She wondered if a person’s grief—what we sometimes call an emotionally broken heart—could lead to a physically broken heart. The answer was, quite simply, yes. Those who cannot get relief from their grief are more susceptible to heart disease, autoimmune disorders, and breakdowns in their immune system. 

We need some good news to pull us out of our grief. The good news is that God specializes not just in removing grief, but in turning grief into joy. In the hymn O Holy Night, one of the lines says, “In all our trials, born to be our Friend. He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger.” Isaiah calls Jesus, “A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3). 

(Read all of the Scriptures in this post by clicking here.)

Grief tends to wash over us in waves. When the waves hit, they often cause us to forget what God has done for us in the past. The apostle Paul said we should learn lessons from the history of the Israelites in the Old Testament. Let me zoom in on one particular story. Notice the waves of grief that follow one after another. 

Israel was complacent about their sin (Amos 6:1, 4-7) and eventually was taken into captivity in Assyria. Soon after that, the Assyrians then defeated by the Babylonians. Meanwhile, instead of learning the lessons from Israel’s captivity, Judah had more evil kings than God-fearing kings and they were eventually defeated by the Babylonians (Psalm 137:1-4). Babylon was then defeated by the Medes and Persians. 

Somewhere in this time of exile, a young Israelite girl named Hadassah becomes orphaned. She is adopted by Mordecai, who changes her name into the Persian name Esther. Queen Vashti is divorced and banished by King Xerxes, and as a result Esther is chosen from all of the eligible bachelorettes in Persia to become queen in Vashti’s place. 

(Check out two of my posts related to this story in the Book of Esther: 4 Big Lessons from Esther and All of HIStory is His Story.)

Mordecai is an attendant at the gate to the castle, giving him a good vantage point to stay in touch with Esther. It also puts him in a place to overhear an assassination plot against King Xerxes, which Mordecai relayed to Esther to tell the king. Sadly, Mordecai’s good deed, which saved King Xerxes’ life, is overlooked. Instead, Mordecai’s faith is attacked by Haman, the prime minister, and all of the Jews in Persia are targeted by Haman for destruction. Once again, Mordecai gets word to Esther to have her appeal to the king. Esther is put in a no-win situation here: to approach the king without an invitation could be fatal, but to do nothing would mean the death of all of the Jews. 

How did all of this come to be? 

Let me take you back to Deuteronomy 8:3. God allowed His people to be humbled and hungry so that they would learn that He is their only source. In the following verses we are told twice to “beware”: beware of forgetting that God is our Provider, and beware of thinking we are our own provider. If we do either of these, God will discipline us (Deuteronomy 8:5). 

God isn’t mentioned at all in the Book of Esther, but He is so obviously at work. God said, “My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please” (Isaiah 46:10). Before the Israelites went into captivity, God promised that His people would not be annihilated there but would return to Jerusalem (Jeremiah 31:10-17). 

Esther did interceded before King Xerxes. Because of this, Haman was hanged, Mordecai was exalted to Haman’s place, and the Jews were saved (Esther 7:1-6; 8:1-2, 15-17; 9:20-22; 10:3). 

God turned overwhelming grief into unspeakable joy!  

Dick Brogden wrote, “Are you overwhelmed, out of strength, nowhere to go, out of resources, at a most critical time in your family, ministry, job, or life? Great! God allowed it so that all the earth may know that He is God alone. Don’t waste the crisis. It’s a great opportunity for missions, a great opportunity for God’s glory to be known in all the earth.”  

Let your grief be a time you press into God’s presence. Like Esther taking her grief and her petition into the king’s presence, take your grief into the presence of King of kings. 

Esther was unsure if Xerxes would extend favor to her, but God is already extending His favor to you even before you approach Him. He wants to turn your grief into joy. 

God doesn’t want to simply remove your grief, but He wants you to be testimony for Him because of the way He moves on your behalf. 

Follow along with all of the messages in our series Grief Into Joy by clicking here. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Links & Quotes

Why do Christians lift their hands to God? This is a clip from one of the sermons in our series looking at the worship songs that Israelite pilgrims sang as they ascended to Jerusalem to celebrate the feasts.

I have a lot of new video content on my YouTube channel every week. Please check it out and subscribe so you don’t miss anything.

“Civil governments are established by God [Romans 13:1] to restrain the criminal elements of human society—even though these officers are often filled and run by evil people. We must divorce our feelings about the people that hold these offices from the authority of the office itself.” —Dr. Henry Halley 

“Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it’s amazing what they can accomplish.” —Sam Walton 

This article opens with this thought: “Scientists will probably never fully understand photosynthesis as additional research uncovers even more fascinating mysteries.” It then goes on to outline how plants use quantum mechanics nearly perfectly to manage the flow of energy during photosynthesis. Truly this is more evidence of an All-Wise Creator.

In sharing a mini-biography of Henry Martyn, this article outlines how God prepares missionaries for the field to which He has called them. “God used [Martyn’s] classical education at Cambridge alongside his spiritual maturity formed by intentional mentorship to get him ready for his unique task of engaging Muslims and translating the Bible.”

T.M. Moore has an outstanding series for pastoral leaders. In a recent post, Moore wrote, “Paul’s vision was too vast, too all-encompassing, too transformative, too urgent, and too other-worldly to stop with, say, a vision that focused on more members, better facilities, larger budgets, additional staff, or regular ‘growth.’ None of these, nor any of a thousand other ways church leaders might express their hopes for their churches, is a proper vision for church leaders.” I was grateful for T.M.’s endorsement of my book Shepherd Leadership where I talk about the biblical metrics for church leaders.

“One of the dangers of having a lot of money is that you may be quite satisfied with the kinds of happiness money can give, and so fail to realize your need for God. If everything seems to come simply by signing checks, you may forget that you are at every moment totally dependent on God.” —C.S. Lewis 

Who Is Your Provider?

And [God] humbled you and allowed you to hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you recognize and personally know that man does not live by bread only, but man lives by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord. … Know also in your [minds and] hearts that, as a man disciplines and instructs his son, so the Lord your God disciplines and instructs you. (Deuteronomy 8:3, 5 AMPC)

God allows us to be humbled and hungry so that we can learn that He is our only source. Proud people will not open their hearts and minds to learn because they see themselves as know-it-alls. 

Because He loves us, God humbles us. If we will yield, we can learn from God and grow in intimacy with Him. “Know also in your minds and hearts that, as a man disciplines and instructs his son, so the Lord your God disciplines and instructs you” (Deuteronomy 8:5). But the proud are deprived of all of these blessings. 

Verses 11-20 add a warning about forgetfulness. Success tends to make us think we have accomplished something in our own power, which stokes our pride. Twice we are told to “beware”…

  • …of forgetting that God is our Provider 
  • …of thinking we are our own provider 

Humility keeps us dependent on God and increasingly intimate with Him. Pride pushes God away. 

Check out my series of posts about forgetfulness called Fading Gratitude. 

I address the pride issue for leaders in a post called Don’t Putrefy Your Leadership, and in a video Healthy Leaders Ask For Help.

Grief Into Joy

At the end of your rope … down for the count … nothing but gray skies all around … unable to see any light at the end of the long, dark tunnel. Ever been there? The reality is, we all have been there. 

But the good news is that we don’t have to stay there! 

God is always at work to turn our apparent no-win, dark, hopeless situations into something bright and glorious! He is working in ways that no human mind could have dreamed up, and working on our behalf in a way no human power could ever hope to rival. 

God specializes in turning grief into joy! 

We are approaching the time of year where we remember the death of Jesus. Without a doubt that was the darkest, most grief-stricken day in all of history. Yet that time of mourning was completely forgotten in the overwhelming joy that exploded from an empty tomb on Resurrection Sunday! 

Please join me at Calvary Assembly of God for this hope-filled series as we learn how God is at work in all of our grief-darkened circumstances to bring about something gloriously joyful!

Follow along with all the messages in this series:

Sincere Love

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

The apostle Paul begins a lengthy series of commands for Christians with a simple statement: “Love must be sincere” (Romans 12:9). 

Let’s define a couple of those key words. “Love” (Greek: agape) is not self-focused but others-serving. And “sincere” (anypokritos) means genuine, not hypocritical; or as the Amplified Bible says, “a real thing.” 

Love is the motivating force for us to be able to carry out every one of the commands listed in verses 9-21 with God-honoring sincerity. 

  • Love clings to what is good and drives away evil 
  • Love is devoted to God and to its neighbor 
  • Love honors others more than itself 
  • Love is zealous 
  • Love serves God in everything 
  • Love is joyful in hope 
  • Love is patient in affliction 
  • Love is faithful in prayer 
  • Love is hospitable to its neighbors 
  • Love blesses persecutors 
  • Love rejoices with those who rejoice 
  • Love mourns with those who mourn 
  • Love finds a way to live in harmony with others 
  • Love is not proud 
  • Love never repays evil for evil 
  • Love always does what is right 
  • Love lives at peace with everyone 
  • Love doesn’t seek revenge 
  • Love serves its enemies 
  • Love overcomes evil with good 

This is a great list—a lofty, noble, Christ-glorifying list! 

How do I know if I am fulfilling these mandates? Quite simply, I could ask myself, “What does it sound like if I replace the word ‘love’ in those statements with my own name?” Do each of those statements sound accurate if I do that? 

If not, that means I need to continue to offer my body as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1) so that the Holy Spirit can continue to sanctify me. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Our Gigantic Problems

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Listen to these words of instruction Moses gave the Israelites— 

     A people great and tall, the sons of the Anakim, whom you know and of whom you have heard it said, “Who can stand before the sons of Anak?” Know therefore this day that the Lord your God is He Who goes over before you as a devouring fire. He will destroy them and bring them down before you; so you shall dispossess them and make them perish quickly, as the Lord has promised you. (Deuteronomy 9:2-3 AMPC) 

With those encouraging words, Moses readied the Israelites to go into the Promised Land for a second time. The first time ended disastrously, as the people ran away in fear of these giants. 

What gigantic problems might you be facing? Maybe you’re facing them again and again? 

  • that addiction that’s always there? 
  • that temptation that always seems to pull you down? 
  • that depression that turns your whole world dark? 
  • that satanic attack at the most inopportune times? 
  • that relationship that seems to wreck every family get-together? 
  • that monstrous financial debt that overshadows everything? 

There’s no doubt about it: Those problems are gigantic! 

It feels like they’re crushing you. It feels like they’re undefeatable. 

That’s because they are. 

Let me be more clear: YOU cannot defeat them on your own. 

But listen again to what God said through Moses, “I will defeat them, I will subdue them, so that you can finish them off.” 

James says it this way, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). 

The devil isn’t scared of you. The gigantic problems looming over you don’t tremble at your name. But every knee must bow to the King of kings. Every problem must crumble and give way before the Lord of lords! 

Don’t try to tackle these giants on your own. Instead, submit to God. What plan does He have for this battle? What has He already spoken to you in the Scripture that will give you assurance of His victory? 

I love this photo from We Lost Kings. The caption says—

“To defeat the obstacles before us requires more than mere strength—it demands a deliberate strategy. A man must approach his trials with discernment, understanding that raw power alone rarely conquers what lies ahead. Strategy calls us not to rush headlong, but to see clearly, to step wisely, and to strike with purpose. Every obstacle is a lesson in mastery, and every victory a testimony to the power of wisdom applied.” 

It’s not your muscle or smarts or sheer determination that will overcome your gigantic problems. But your invincible, undefeated, and undefeatable God will knock every giant down to size, setting you up for the inevitable victory. 

Kneel before God. Listen to His voice. Feel His power. Then—and only then—can you step forward in assured victory! 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

The Malicious Attack

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.  

You may have noticed that the intensity of the pain of these sheep bites has been escalating—from flattery, to criticism, to gossip. Now we come to probably the most painful of bites: slander. This is the bite that will have the strongest pull toward the natural response, which will require our greatest reliance on the Holy Spirit to respond supernaturally. 

Remember that gossip has a veneer of truth on it; slander has no truth at all. They are outright lies. They are flimsy lies. They are malicious lies. One of the Hebrew words translated slander means scandal-monger: someone who trades in lies (Jeremiah 6:28 NLT; Leviticus 19:16).

(Check out all of the biblical references in this post by clicking here.) 

The natural response to slander is, “I have to respond to them!” The supernatural response to slander is, “I have to yield to God!” 

The natural response, however, is fueled by my wounded pride. On the other hand, the supernatural response is fueled by humility toward God. 

Slanderers are arrogant people too (remember Jeremiah said “they are as hard as bronze and iron” [Jeremiah 6:28]). God’s people are learning to humble themselves to wait for God (Psalm 38:12-15). These humble people are the ones who get God’s help, and not His laughter (James 4:6; Proverbs 3:34 NLT). 

Look at how Jesus dealt with the very natural urge to respond to those who slandered Him. After Jesus was arrested by the temple guards, He was hauled before one group after another and each time the slanderous lies were spitefully spit at Him. In front of the Sanhedrin, before Roman governor Pontius Pilate, and in the throne room of King Herod Antipas, angry men unleashed their venomous claims—none of which were true.  

There are two common themes we can notice in all of these settings.

  1. The lies were seen for what they were: complete fabrications without any truth behind them—Mark 14:55. Governor Pilate said “I find no basis for a charge against Him” (Luke 23:4), and he added, “Herod came to the same conclusion and sent Him back to us” (v. 15). 
  2. The silence of Jesus: “Jesus remained silent and gave no answer” (Matthew 27:13-14; Mark 14:61, 15:5). The only red letters in this interaction with both the Sanhedrin and Pilate are when Jesus is asked a direct question. Jesus quickly answers the questions, “Are You the Messiah,” “Are You a King,” and “Don’t You know the power I have?” (Mark 14:61, 15:2; John 19:10), but He never responds to the slander. 

Let me repeat: Our supernatural response can only come from yielding to the Holy Spirit’s influence. 

  1. We cannot treat slanderers as anything less than people created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27; Psalm 15:1, 3). 
  1. We must take our pain into God’s presence. This is what Jesus did (1 Peter 2:21-23). We can help ourselves by praying imprecatory prayers. These are words for God’s ears only (Jude 1:9; Psalm 58:6-8). 
  1. We have to learn to pray for our slanderers. We have to mature from praying against them to praying for them. Look at how Jesus interceded for His slanderers (Luke 23:34), which He calls us to as well (Luke 6:28). 
  1. We have to live as overcomers. We overcome by NOT responding to slander in the natural way (Romans 12:21). But we allow our supernatural response to be used as a powerful testimony (2 Corinthians 6:3-10; Colossians 3:1-2, 8, 12-14). 

We can do this—the Holy Spirit is empowering us to do this. Let’s not get down in the mud with those who slander us, but let’s yield to God and allow Him to handle this painful situation far better than we ever could. 

If you’ve missed any of the messages in this series, you can find them all here. And if you are a pastor, please check out my book When Sheep Bite, which will help you both respond to sheep bites and teach others how to respond as well. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Links & Quotes

Every “miss” along the journey can be a stepping stone to future success. If you don’t win, at least learn. Check out the full conversation Greg and I had.

I have a lot of new video content on my YouTube channel every week. Please check it out and subscribe so you don’t miss anything.

“One cannot grow fine flowers in a thin soil.” —Virginia Woolf 

I love catching verbal flubs and mistyped signs. I recently saw this sign at my Dad’s apartment complex. And this list from a Ford Motor Company executive is hilarious!

“A leader must embody the strength that inspires others to follow. And yet, this strength must be tempered with humility, for Christ Himself came not as a warrior-king but as a servant-leader, washing the feet of His disciples.” —Lost Kings reading plan on YouVersion 

John Piper identifies the roots of false teaching in his Look at the Book teaching on 1 Timothy 6—

Let God Hear Your Voice Continually

Evening and morning and at noon will I utter my complaint and moan and sigh, and He will hear my voice. (Psalm 55:17) 

Let God hear your voice all day long. You can never weary Him by coming to Him too often—He loves when your eyes are on Him alone and your cries for help are for His ears only. 

As you cast your burden on Him, try to leave your burden with Him. Don’t pick it up again (Psalm 55:22). 

But if you find that you are again fretting over a nagging problem, bring that burden to Him again. He wants to bear your burden for you—He wants to answer your prayer in His perfect way and in His perfect timing. 

You may also want to check out a couple of other posts based on Psalm 55:

The Craig And Greg Show: The Struggle Is Real (But Necessary)

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.

Do you enjoy struggling? Odds are the answer to that is a resounding “No!” because struggling is difficult, uncomfortable, and frustrating. However, without struggle it is impossible for us to develop to our full potential in our personal and professional lives. In this episode Greg and I encourage you to embrace struggle, and allow your team to struggle as well so that you all can grow to your very best.

  • [0:20] The struggle is real, but leaders help people know that struggling ≠ failing.  
  • [2:07] Failure is not permanent, and leaders need to help people slow down to see this.
  • [3:38] Here’s how leaders can inspire their teammates to reframe failure.
  • [5:54] Greg shares some reflections from his sports background that can help us see our productive struggle in a positive light.
  • [6:40] I talk about using Six Sigma initiatives in one of my organizations to help them learn each time they missed a benchmark.
  • [8:25] The struggle is what helps us ultimately succeed.
  • [11:42] We rob others of the joy of a breakthrough if we don’t allow them to struggle.
  • [14:19] Leaders need to differentiate failures from mistakes.
  • [16:09] Greg pulls out a movie analogy for us.
  • [18:17] The struggle helps us enjoy the future wins.
  • [21:14] Two leadership lessons we need to keep in mind.
  • [25:26] Greg transformed a couple of organizations by asking people what they learned from mistakes.
  • [27:15] Leaders need to change their own mindset about failing before they can change the mindset of their team. If you need help with this, we would love to help coach you to that next level.

Check out this episode and subscribe on YouTube so you can watch all of the upcoming episodes. You can also listen to our podcast on Spotify and Apple.