Craig T. Owens

Craig & Amy Groeschel wrote a great book for anyone who wants to have a great marriage. Whether you’re single, in a struggling marriage, or in a great marriage, there are some great principles to learn in From This Day Forward. You can read my book review by clicking here. Below are a few quotes I especially liked.

“Healthy couples fight for resolution. Unhealthy couples fight for personal victory.”

“Even when you don’t agree with the other person, you can still validate their feelings.”

“One of the best ways you and your spouse can become slow to anger is by communicating regularly and honestly when you’re not facing conflict.”

“You have only one enemy, and it’s not your spouse. Get focused on that. Your enemy is a thief who’s trying to steal your joy, kill your love, and destroy your marriage. The good news is you don’t have to fight fair with that guy. No, with him, you’re actually going to fight to win. You’re going to fight for your marriage, and you’re going to fight for victory. One of the very best ways you can do that is to learn to fight fair with your spouse—for resolution, for restoration.”

“Don’t fight to win. You both should fight to lose the conflict and gain a closer relationship. Don’t fight each other; fight together to see the relationship restored. Redefine winning to mean that at the end of every fight, you’re closer to each other then you were when you started. That’s winning! And that’s what it really means to fight fair.” —Amy Groeschel

“When you’re married, fun is not a luxury; it’s a requirement. … Without romance, without adventure, without physical intimacy—without fun—marriage is reduced to a simple business arrangement. You’re like partners in a company, two roommates who split expenses like rent and food, yet living entirely different lives.”

“Guys, be intentional about pursuing happiness together with her because she’s God’s ‘reward’ in your life [Ecclesiastes 9:9].”

“Generally speaking, I don’t think anyone would argue that most men tend to desire physical intimacy more frequently than women do. So ladies, you need to understand that when you turn off that faucet and things start to go dry, for your husband, that’s a crisis. It’s the equivalent of the distress you feel when there’s silence, when there’s no emotional intimacy between you. It’s a crisis. One of the most important ways you can demonstrate love to each other is by renewing your spiritual commitment to one another through acts of physical love. Sex is spiritual. It’s two people becoming one in an alliance of intimacy. It’s a blessing from God, a way that you can genuinely serve one another. … One of the greatest things you can do for each other is to engage in frequent, creative, spiritual lovemaking. It is a gift from God that honors Him by renewing your spiritual covenant to one another.”

“Revelation 2:5 says, ‘Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.’ If you want what you once had, start doing what you once did. You got married because you had fun. Start having fun again.”

“Physical intimacy is directly related to your process of growing together, and it can be a good indicator of how healthy your relationship is—or isn’t. In fact, if physical intimacy has been a problem lately in your marriage, I’d be willing to bet that you’ve neglected being emotionally connected in other ways.” —Amy Groeschel

“By the time they reach the sin of adultery, they will have already crossed dozens of other sin lines. Sin doesn’t begin on the outside. It begins in the heart. You see something (or someone) attractive, and you allow them to capture your attention. ‘Mmm, they look good.’ That’s lust. And lust is a sin. Maybe you even take some action—just not full-blown adultery. ‘A body as hot as yours want to come with a warning label!’ Implying to someone else that you’re available when you’re not is called flirting. And it’s a sin. Maybe you don’t take any action. You just see something you want, and you let your thoughts wander after it. ‘Yowza! I’d like to take that home.’ That’s not taking every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). That’s fantasizing, and it’s a sin. These things are problematic because they draw the line in the wrong place.”

“You probably learned that while it may be true that, at least while you’re dating, opposites attract—once you get married, opposites attack! … One way you can return to opposites attracting instead of attacking is by accepting your spouse for who they are, not who you want them to be. … Being opposites isn’t a bad thing. In fact, the truth is, if you’re married to someone who’s just like you, one of you is unnecessary. God knew exactly what He was doing when He brought you two opposites together. The only way iron can sharpen iron is if your differences are constantly rubbing against each other (Proverbs 27:17). … The challenge is that we settle into a mindset and become convinced that our differences are always going to cause conflict. But that doesn’t have to be true. Just because your spouse does things differently than you doesn’t mean that it has to be a problem. It’s just… well, different. If you refused to except your differences as the positives they are, you may find yourself sometimes trying to keep things from your spouse.”