7 Quotes On Healing From “The Seven Laws Of Love”

The Seven Laws Of Love

In The Seven Laws Of Love, Dave Willis gives us some highly practical, biblically-based counsel for investing in all of our relationships. Normally when I share quotes from books, I share all of them at once, but for this book I felt like it would be good to share these quotes a bit more slowly, to give you time to read them and apply them.

The seven laws Dave identifies are:

  1. Love requires commitment (read the quotes here)
  2. Love selflessly sacrifices (read the quotes here)
  3. Love speaks truth (read the quotes here)
  4. Love conquers fear (read the quotes here)
  5. Love offers grace (read the quotes here)
  6. Love brings healing
  7. Love lives forever

From law #6, here are some quotes on healing—

“Love requires vulnerability, and when we feel like we’ve been in an exposed position and then experienced rejection, our defense mechanisms can actually work against us and sabotage our current relationships. We tend to militantly safeguard certain parts of ourselves in order to prevent the same kind of humiliation or rejection we have felt in the past.”

“The more you love someone, the more ability that person will have to hurt you; but until you give a person the ability to hurt you (vulnerability), you’ll never be able to truly experience love. This reality keeps some people from wholeheartedly committing to a relationship, because they’re trying to protect their hearts from being wounded again. But if were not careful, our wounds from the past can create new wounds in the present. It is a catch-22 that can keep us in perpetual dysfunction in our relationships until we become intentional about healing from the past and moving forward in a healthy way.”

“Sometimes we can subconsciously do things to make ourselves seem ugly or intimidating to drive people away, because were afraid if we let others close to us, we’ll only be hurt again. This kind of behavior might give us the illusion of power and safety that comes from isolation, but it will also hold us captive in a prison of solitude where we never experience true love. Whatever you may have done or whatever may have been done to wound you in the past, healing is possible. God wants you to live a life of love. He wants you to experience rich, meaningful relationships. He wants to bring you to a place of healing so you can experience life and love in all of its fullness.”

“Healing from a broken heart isn’t the result of mere time and effort. It comes when we put our trust in the Healer of our hearts.”

“Don’t let your love be an unspoken assumption. Make sure your loved ones know exactly how much you love them because your words and actions make it clear.”

“An encounter with Jesus always has the power to bring healing. When love is present, healing is present. It won’t always look miraculous, but it will always make a difference.”

“Sometimes God uses prayer to change the situation, and sometimes He uses prayer to change our own perspective about the situation, but either way, He’s always doing something positive through prayer.”

Check out my review of The Seven Laws Of Love by clicking here.

Watch for the last set quotes from the other laws of love explained in this book later this week.

8 More Powerful Relationship Quotes

Keep Your Love OnI have shared a couple of sets of quotes from Danny Silk’s book Keep Your Love On! (which you can read here and here). I have also posted a review on this book here.

This book is a must-read for pastors or counselors who do marriage or family counseling. This is also an excellent book to read if you have a relationship in your life that you would like to see healed or strengthened. Check out a few more quotes below.

“If you cannot communicate your needs to another person clearly, it is obviously going to be very difficult for that person to meet them. That’s why one of the primary tasks of reaching maturity is learning how to express thoughts, feelings, and needs. Those who never learn this skill, however, expect relationships to function without it. They say things like, ‘Well, if you love me, then you will just know what I need. Didn’t you notice that that bothered me? Haven’t you been paying attention? I can’t believe you don’t know that about me.’ Where does this desire or expectation that loved ones have a telepathic ability to know our feelings and needs come from? It comes from powerlessness and fear. It comes from dreaming that everything will turn out magically without actually having to communicate. Powerless people want to win the lottery, get their dream girl/guy with minimal effort, lose weight without exercise, and get their needs met without ever having to say a word.”

“The reason we can’t get our needs met without expressing them is that we were designed to have our needs met through a relational exchange. God made us this way. … Think about it. God, the one Person in the universe Who knows all things, and knows us incomparably better than we know ourselves, never says, ‘Well, obviously I know your needs, so you don’t need to tell Me about them.’ Instead, He repeatedly tells us to ask Him for what we need, and gives us some of the most profound, beautiful, and honest language for doing so—like the Lord’s Prayer, and most of the Psalms. He won’t meet our needs outside of a connection where we have to show up and crack our hearts open to Him, because that very connection is what we need to have our needs met in the first place.”

“If you want to protect your connection and build trust by always communicating respectfully, then your guiding rule must be, ‘It’s my job to tell you about me, and your job to tell me about you.’ The best tool for telling another person about you is an ‘I message.’ The basic structure of the ‘I message’ is: ‘I feel [emotion] when [described experience] and I need to feel [emotion].’” 

“As you construct an ‘I message,’ make sure that you are really expressing a feeling, not an opinion. … If you start to say, ‘I feel like…’ you should stop and check yourself—because what is most likely going to follow is not a feeling, but a judgment. And a judgment statement is actually an expression of mistrust, not trust.”

“Intimacy—‘into-me-see’—is created between two people who can say, ‘We can be ourselves together because you can see into me and I can see into you.’ The experience of intimacy—of being completely known and accepted, and completely knowing and accepting in return—is the most satisfying experience we can have as humans. Intimacy in a safe place brings euphoria. Remember the Garden of Eden? Paradise was the place where a man and a woman were unafraid to be vulnerable and intimate with each other in every way. The problem is that most of us are scared to death to be vulnerable in relationships. The reason is simple: In being vulnerable, we reach for our greatest need while risking our greatest pain.”

“Fear of rejection and shame sets us up to fall for the enemy’s counterfeits. Ever since sin entered the world and humanity became disconnected from God, we have been looking for ways to get our needs met outside of relationship or any scenario where we are required to be vulnerable and risk our hearts. We have always desperately sought the benefits of intimacy without wanting to pay the price. And the enemy continues to offer us the euphoric experiences we think we can control—things like alcohol, drugs, sex, Internet pornography, shopping, carbohydrates, adrenaline, or cash. We use these things to give ourselves a euphoric release and take care of our needs. But the counterfeits always have ugly repercussions, like drunk drivers killing innocent people, young kids destroying their brains, men ignoring the beautiful real women beside them in favor of the images, serious debt, morbid obesity and the host of diseases that accompany it, thrill seekers slowly becoming numb to reality, and selfish jerks not caring who they step on to get what they want. Counterfeits never come through.”

“Every respectful conversation needs one speaker and one listener at all times. … The listening role is the true servant role in a respectful conversation. The listener affirms, ‘Right now, this conversation is about you and your needs. I am here to help you figure them out and find a way to help you get them met.’ But in the end, the listener is really the winner. If I listen well, I will have two vital pieces of information—what you need and what I need to do. With these two pieces of information, I start to identify and take ownership of the problem and create an effective solution.”

“A skilled listener with a servant’s heart is the deadliest weapon against the fear-bombs that threaten connection.”

Links & Quotes

link quote

“From the beginning of the Bible to the end, God warns that any nation which departs from Him is going to suffer judgment. America has been given more spiritual and moral light than any nation in the history of the world, and yet this great nation has departed from Him and stands in peril of His judgment.” —Billy Graham

“Belief is not faith without evidence but commitment without reservation.” —Leighton Ford

Documented proof of Planned Parenthood breaking the law. They even allowed a high school coach, who impregnated a 14-year-old girl, to sign-off on her abortion without informing the parents nor reporting this as statutory rape!!

Eric Metaxas debunks some of Planned Parenthood’s old lies.

Scientific studies show that forgiving people helps you physically and psychologically.

Tim Elmore always has great insights into the youth culture. Here are his 6 defining characteristics of Generation Z.

[VIDEO] John Maxwell talks about the right attitude to handle rejection, and what it can do to move us forward—

Links & Quotes

link quote

“The marvelous thing about spiritual wealth is that when we take our part in that, everyone else is blessed; whereas if we refused to be partakers, we hinder others from entering into the riches of God.” —Oswald Chambers

“Gratitude gets us through the hard stuff. To reflect on your blessings is to rehearse God’s accomplishments. To rehearse His accomplishments is to discover His heart. Gratitude always leaves us looking at God and away from dread.” —Max Lucado

“We can choose to define ourselves (our smarts, our brand, our character) on who rejects us. Or we can choose to focus on those that care enough to think we matter. Carrying around a list of everyone who thinks you’re not good enough is exhausting.” —Seth Godin

U.S. Congressmen have already introduced a bill to protect our First Amendment rights in light of the latest Supreme Court ruling.

An End To Tears

No more tearsI was asked the age-old question: Why is there suffering and pain? This is usually accompanied by the other often-pondered question: Why do bad things happen to good people?

I’m not sure that I can answer that one, because I’m not a “good” person. I’m a sinner. I’ve messed up more time than I can count, and it is only by God’s mercy that His righteous judgment hasn’t consumed me.

Here’s what I do know:

  • God loves me so much that He sent His Son to rescue me—John 3:16-17
  • I am of immeasurable value to my Heavenly Father—Luke 12:6-7
  • Suffering on earth is temporal; rewards in Heaven are eternal—Romans 8:18
  • God develops something in my through suffering that I could learn in no other way—Romans 5:3-4
  • God can be glorified through my suffering if I will let Him—John 9:1-3; 11:3-6

I also know that Jesus is Perfection. If anyone ever deserved to not have anything bad happen to them, it was Him. And yet He was rejected by His family (Mark 3:21), betrayed by one of His companions (John 13:21), abandoned by all His followers (Mark 14:50), and even felt the sting of God forsaking Him (Mark 15:34).

What makes this even more startling to me is that He knew all of this was coming (Isaiah 53:3; Luke 9:22; Matthew 26:54-56). But He went through all of that pain because His suffering meant He could become the prefect Intercessor and Mediator for our suffering (see Hebrews 5:7-9; 4:14-16).

Jesus us told us, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

And the last book in the Bible promises that eventually God’s children will have every tear wiped away! There will be no more death, no more mourning, no more crying, and no more pain! (Revelation 21:4)

In the midst of your pain, hold tightly to the One Who loves you so much and is interceding for you!

If you are near Cedar Springs this coming weekend, and you don’t have a home church, I would love for you to join us as we continue to learn about the greatest words ever spoken.

Finding Purpose Beyond Our Pain (book review)

I’ve been a fan of Dr. Paul Meier for quite some time, and his latest book – coauthored with Dr. David Henderson – kept me cheering. Finding Purpose Beyond Our Pain explores seven areas that prompt some of the deepest soul-searching and some of the stickiest questions that humans face.

There are a couple of things I admire about Drs. Meier and Henderson. One is their understanding that humans are a tri-part being: body, soul, and spirit. Those that try to bring help for the deep pain that we all experience by addressing just one area are missing the mark. There is physical pain, emotional pain, and spiritual pain.

I’ve often found that humanists who just want to address the physical and emotional symptoms, but ignore the spiritual symptoms, offer only short-sighted answers. On the other extreme, some in the church world want to offer spiritual solutions for everything, and completely ignore the physical and emotional causes. Either extreme is unhelpful to someone who is hurting. Drs. Meier and Henderson do an excellent job addressing all three areas.

The other thing I’ve always appreciated about Dr. Meier, and now his new coauthor as well, is his accessible writing style. In other words, although these are incredibly well educated men, they write in a way that everyone can understand. And more importantly, their writing style allows for ready application.

This book is divided into seven sections of four chapters each. Each section diagnosis an area of pain, looks at the causes, the possible responses, and ultimately the purpose beyond the pain. In every section the physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions are addressed. These sections cover the most common pain-filled struggles we all face –

  • Injustice
  • Rejection
  • Loneliness
  • Loss
  • Discipline
  • Failure
  • Death

As a pastor, I have to deal with people who are experiencing past or present pain quite frequently. This book has enlightened me in some biblically-rooted, practical ways I can point to the purpose beyond their pain. But even if you are not a pastor or counselor, this book will be a great resource to have on your shelf. Whether you have lingering questions about the pain you have experienced, or you simply want to be ready to help a friend or loved one who may be battling one of these areas, you will appreciate Finding Purpose Beyond Our Pain.

I am a book review blogger for Thomas Nelson.

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