Critics Can Be Gifts To Us

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I’m going to guess that I’m not alone in this: I don’t like when people criticize me. 

Especially when I’m in a leadership position, trying my best to make good decision for the entire organization, and someone comes up to me to criticize my decision-making abilities or my skill at carrying out my decisions. 

The easiest thing to do is simply dismiss their biting remarks. We can so easily say, “They have no idea what they’re talking about so I can ignore everything they’ve said to me.” 

Criticism is one of the most common bites that sheep dispense to those who are trying to shepherd them. 

But before we simply dismiss them, let me ask you to consider this: 

  • Is it possible that God is using these critics to get your attention? 
  • Is it possible that you have a flaw in a blind spot, and this critic is showing you something that you’ve been missing? 

If you can answer, “Yes” to even one of those questions, then you can also say that your critic is a God-sent gift for you to improve your leadership capacity. 

I discussed this recently on the Fellowship of Ailbe podcast.

The full quote from Dick Brogden’s book Proverbs: Amplified and Applied says: “Critics and skeptics are gifts to us, for in their aspersions they often bring to light a brokenness or a liability early on in its development in us. If we are secure enough to ferret out the truth through the condemnation of others, we remain healthy in the long term as our malady is exposed and dealt with before it becomes too serious.” 

This means that criticism should lead us to a time of honest introspection.

In the chapter “Is God Trying to Get My Attention?” in my book When Sheep Bite, I wrote—

      Remember that we are naturally self-protective, so this time of introspection will need to be supernaturally empowered by the Holy Spirit if we are going to see the true prompter of the attack. A prayer I have prayed more times than I can count is, “Search me thoroughly, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24 AMPC). 

      It is only this humble reflection that can turn an experience into a lesson. If I immediately lash out at the sheep who hurt me, I may drive that sheep away from me but I won’t necessarily have learned a lesson. The one who bit me may have left my pasture, but perhaps they will never join any other pasture but may wander in the wilderness for the rest of their life. If I slow down to respond, it’s quite possible that both these biting sheep and I can grow through this valuable lesson. 

Let’e reframe the way we think about critics and their criticism. Before we simply dismiss it, let’s prayerfully consider if there is a lesson that God is trying to teach to us through this critic. 

You can check out the full conversation I had on the Ailbe podcast here. 

You can order a copy of When Sheep Bite here.

And you may be interested in two related blog posts: 20 helpful thoughts on criticism and What is valid criticism?

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Where This Book Originated

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

I would like to take you behind the scenes to the origin of my second book. In this video, you will hear how I first came up with the idea for When Sheep Bite, and how the Holy Spirit redirected my original book design.

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

I wrote this in the Introduction to Section One of When Sheep Bite

      I know that when you are in distress you are looking for immediate relief. You may be tempted to jump right to Section 2 of this book where I outline specific thoughts and strategies for handling the ways your sheep are biting and kicking, but I invite you to hold off. … It may appear from your perspective that the fault lies entirely with the attacking sheep—and that you feel that you haven’t done anything to provoke them. But these attacks can open our eyes to things we haven’t noticed before and teach us invaluable lessons, if we are willing to quiet ourselves before the Holy Spirit’s counsel. …

     If we don’t have the heart of a shepherd leader, we will not only treat every bite and kick as if it is completely their fault, but we will never be looking for ways to bring healthy correction and restoration to that wayward sheep. Let me remind you that all of us were those wayward sheep—biting God’s hand, running away from Him—when Jesus put His very life on the line to bring us into the sheepfold (Romans 5:6-8). This kind of shepherding doesn’t come just because we outwardly try to do the right thing, but because we have a right heart attitude (Philippians 2:5).

I truly believe that When Sheep Bite will be a healing resource for shepherd leaders who are still feeling the pain of their latest sheep bite. If you are a pastor—or if you love your pastor—please pick up a copy today! 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Empathizing Is Never One-Upping

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

When we are going through something difficult or painful, we want to get counsel from someone who has some understanding of what we’re facing. In a word, we want someone empathetic. 

Webster’s Dictionary defines empathy as the action of understanding, being aware of, and being sensitive to the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another. If you were telling me about your painful situation, to let you know that I “get you”—that I empathize with you—I might say something like, “I’ve been there, done that, and have the scars to prove it.” 

But as I tell you my story, I need to really guard against one-upmanship. Webster’s defines that as the art or practice of outdoing or keeping one jump ahead of a friend or competitor. Saying something like, “Oh, feel your pain, but let me tell you how I had it so much worse” is one-upping and unhelpful! 

In my book When Sheep Bite, I wrote this in the Introduction—

     When you share a tale of real pain with a trusted friend, you don’t want them to try to one-up your story. Instead, you would want them to comfort you in your pain, to give you some helpful insight, or to even just cry along with you. On the other hand, you probably aren’t going to share your story of pain with someone who has no understanding of your situation. We want someone who “gets us,” someone who can relate, someone who can truly empathize with what we are feeling. … 

     I want to give you what I wanted when this happened to me: empathy, insight, a helpful perspective, and a manual of help that God has provided in the Bible. I don’t want to try to one-up your story of pain, because I’m confident that no one could truly know how deeply you’ve been hurt. But I do want to give you some assurance that I know what I’m talking about. 

As I was discussing some of the ideas in my book with a group of pastors, I reminded them of the value of an iron-sharpening-iron friend (as Solomon describes in Proverbs 27:17) who is empathetic without crossing the line into one-upmanship. 

I truly believe that When Sheep Bite will be a healing resource for shepherd leaders who have been there, done that, and have the sheep bite marks to prove it. If you are a pastor—or if you love your pastor—please pick up a copy today! 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

My Newest Book Is Available Now

When Sheep Bite is available for purchase now.

This is a book I wish I didn’t have to write, but far too many pastors are leaving their ministries too early because of the attacks they have had to endure. When Sheep Bite is help for hurting shepherds.

One pastor has called this book “a must-read for every pastor and ministry leader,” and another pastor said, “This is more than a good book. This is the difference between finishing your race and dropping out.”

Check out this book review by theologian T.M. Moore.

When Sheep Bite is presented in three sections:

  1. Cultivating God’s heart toward the sheep
  2. A shepherd’s godly response to attacks
  3. Finishing well

Get your print copy today!

Here is a recent video about When Sheep Bite. You can also check out the whole playlist of videos related to this helpful book.

Please Don’t Misunderstand Me

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

I want to make sure there are no misunderstandings on this, so please stay with me! I realize that the title of my newest book—When Sheep Bite—may bring a picture to your mind that I never intended.

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

Here are some helpful resources from this episode:

If you would like to watch the full interview I did on the Converge Coaching podcast, check that out here.

Order your copy of When Sheep Bite here!

Here are a bunch of ways to get in touch with me and follow along with other projects on which I am involved.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

I Wish I Didn’t Have To Write This Book

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

This is a book that I wish I didn’t have to write. But it needed to be written, so let me tell you what it’s all about.

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

Here are some helpful resources from this episode:

If you would like to watch the full interview I did on the Converge Coaching podcast, check that out here.

Order your copy of When Sheep Bite here!

Here are a bunch of ways to get in touch with me and follow along with other projects on which I am involved

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Guilt Constricts Leadership

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Without a doubt, a leader plagued by feelings of guilt is a leader that is operating well-below his or her full potential. 

One of the best ways to avoid these feelings of limiting guilt is for the leader to admit that he or she isn’t an expert in every aspect of their organization. 

In this short clip, Karl Vaters and I are specifically addressing pastoral leaders, but the principles can be applied to leaders of any organization. 

You can check out more clips from this interview by clicking here. 

The two related blog posts I made reference to in this video are:

You may also be interested in a whole series of posts on godly leadership and in my book Shepherd Leadership. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Talking About Biting Sheep (part 1)

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I was so thrilled to join John Opalewski and Jim Wiegand on the Leading From Alignment podcast! 

This is part 1 of my interview with them about my new book When Sheep Bite.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Shepherds Can’t Disconnect From Their Sheep

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Pastors are called to be shepherd leaders. Karl Vaters points out that some pastors get caught up in “the green room syndrome” that disconnects them from their sheep.

Here is another clip from The Church Lobby Podcast where Karl and I talk about this.

The biblical passage I reference in this interview is John 10:1-16. 

Check out other parts of my interview on The Church Lobby podcast here. Or check out the full conversation Karl and I had on The Church Lobby podcast here.

Get more information on Shepherd Leadership here. And pre-order my newest book When Sheep Bite here.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. Like some exclusive quotes from a book I just reviewed. ◀︎◀︎

Andrew Murray On Preaching

“When the Lord chose His twelve disciples, it was ‘that they might be with Him and that He might send them out to preach’ (Mark 3:14). A life in fellowship with Him prepared them for the work of preaching. … 

“The law of their first calling remained unchanged: their unbroken fellowship with Him was the secret of their power to preach and to testify of Him. … 

“The same principle stands for all His servants, for all time: without the experience of His presence with us, our preaching has no power. The secret of our strength is the living testimony that Jesus Christ is every moment with us, inspiring, directing and strengthening us. … 

“But remember that this power is never meant to be experienced as if it were our own. It is only as Jesus Christ as a living Person dwells and works with His divine energy in our own hearts and lives that there can be power in our preaching as a personal testimony. … 

“For it’s only when His servants show in their lives that they obey Him in all His commands can they expect the fullness of His power and His presence to be with them. Only when they themselves are living witnesses to the reality of His power to save and to keep from sin can they expect to experience His abiding presence, and the power to train others to the life of obedience that He asks.

“The living experience of the presence of Jesus is an essential element in preaching the gospel. If this becomes clouded, work becomes a human effort, without the freshness and power of the heavenly life. Nothing can bring back the power and blessing but a return to the Master’s feet so that He may breathe into the heart, in divine power, His blessed word, ‘I am with you always!’” —Andrew Murray