Comforting The Distressed

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Comfort is an important word in the apostle Paul’s letter to the saints at Corinth. In just five verses in the opening of his second letter to the Corinthians, he uses the word “comfort” nine times! 

   Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. (2 Corinthians 1:3-7) 

The Greek word conveys the sense of someone who comes near to help us. They come physically near, their heart draws near to us in empathy, and even their words are right on target to provide the help we need. 

If that description sounds familiar, it may be because it comes from the same Greek word that Jesus uses for the Holy Spirit—

   And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that He may remain with you forever. (John 14:16 AMPC) 

As Paul says, God is “the God of all comfort,” which we would expect. But notice that Paul also says that the Comforter comforts us for a specific purpose: “so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 

We cannot give to others what we do not have. 

How do we get comfort? The Holy Spirit—the Comforter—comforts us. 

When does He comfort us? When we are in distress. 

What happens with this comfort we receive? Three things:

  1. We have something to give to others who are in distress
  2. It builds patient endurance in us
  3. It makes our hope in God more firm

Perhaps you’re in a time of distress right now and you’re wondering why you are going through this difficulty. Can I challenge you to reframe this thought: You are going through this so that you may increase your capacity to be a comforter to others. Your comforted distress is allowing you to come alongside another struggling saint with greater empathy and patience and understanding and strength than you would have had before your time of distress. 

This is why Paul says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” He is trying to help us see the blessings that can come from this time of distress that could have come in no other way. Don’t allow self-pity to rob you of the comfort the Comforter wants to give to you so that you are able to be a comforter to others who are in distress. 

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The Benefits Of The Right Kind Of Pastoral Stress

I was very honored to be asked to share these thoughts on KarlVaters.com. I was able to interview Karl about his latest book De-Sizing The Church.

(Photo by Official Presidio of Monterey | Flickr)

Jesus was “made like His brothers in every way” (Hebrews 2:17), which means He was not immune to the ravages of stress, yet He never let that stress overwhelm Him.

No one wants more stress. But attempting to avoid all stress can carry negative results that we seldom take into account.

In this guest article, Craig T. Owens (whom I interviewed in The Church Lobby, Episodes 43 and 82 ) writes about how managing the right type of stress (called eustress) can be a benefit, especially in positions of responsibility, like pastoring.

— Karl Vaters

As a pastor, I’m sure your life is practically stress-free. I mean, what do we have to do with our days except commune with God in our quiet study time, and then descend from the mountain to share the words God has given us? Then we can bask in the approval of our congregations as we watch them seamlessly integrate our sermons into their daily lives.

What’s that you’re saying? It’s not like that for you?

Anyone who has been a pastor for any length of time knows how demanding a job it is to be a shepherd of the flock God has placed under our care. And then frequently our shepherding work becomes even more challenging when we have to attend to the needs of obstinate sheep, or heal from the bites of angry sheep.

At times, we may dream about a more stress-free pasture.

But we actually do ourselves, our flock, and the world around us a huge disservice if we are striving for a stress-free life.

The Power To Persevere

First, I don’t think that is even possible. Adam and Eve in the perfection of the Garden of Eden faced a stressful decision. And Jesus, the Perfect Man, was constantly dealing with the stressors that pushed in on Him.

But more importantly, stress is vital for our healthy growth. Recent studies have shown that moderate levels of stress keep our brain sharp. In fact, the study went on to state that a brain that is striving for zero stress (if that’s even possible) begins to become less adept at problem solving. In our attempts to totally eliminate stress, we are actually squeezing out our ability to adapt, overcome, and soar when we face future problems.

In this case, I am talking about the healthy stress that doctors call eustress. Whenever we face a challenge, our body releases a hormone called cortisol that prepares our mind and body for action. In other words, God designed a way for us to be successful in stressful times.

Eustress is the push against the forces that would ultimately pull down our physical health, our relationships, our mental health, and a host of other things if we simply opt to “go with the flow.”

I read this in a recent article from an organization called Fight The New Drug:

“In a world that often sells ways to avoid stress, it’s crucial to remember that stress can be healthy in moderation. Stress and anxiety can trigger neural and chemical processes in your body designed to help you respond to challenges. Stress researcher Daniela Kaufer explains that ‘some amounts of stress are good to push you to the level of optimal alertness for behavioral and cognitive performance.’ Her research on stress in rats has even demonstrated that intermittent stressful events can create new brain cells in the rats that actually improve their future mental performances.”

I love how modern-day psychology validates what the Bible has already told us! The Bible makes it clear that persevering through the stressors that come against us can make us stronger, healthier, and better equipped for the next challenge. We are also fortified to help others through their times of stress (James 1:2-4; Romans 5:3-5; 2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

(Check out all of the Scriptures in this article by clicking here.)

The Greek word in the Bible translated “persevere” means keeping focused on the goal despite the struggles that it takes to get there. Jesus used this same Greek word at the conclusion of His parable of the sower: “The seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the Word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop,” a crop that Jesus said was a hundred times more than what was sown (see Luke 8:5–15).

The Holy Spirit will push us further than we think we can go to develop the spiritual muscles and endurance we need to shepherd the sheep under our care during their trying times. He knows that persevering produces a huge crop.

Easy Roads Teach Few Lessons

I love riding my bike on the White Pine Trail by my house. My long rides have a really fun stretch where I am flying downhill! But as fun and stress-free as that part is, I’m not really building anything of lasting value. However, when I am coming back uphill and I want to quit because my legs are burning and I can hardly breathe, that becomes a valuable struggle.

I cannot build endurance by any other way than to persevere, to push myself just a little bit more each time. When I want to quit, I pedal just a few more feet. Gradually, the uphill becomes less daunting.

A friend gave me a t-shirt that I like to wear on my rides. When I put the shirt on, the blue-lettered message says, “Do It!” but as I struggle uphill and the sweat begins to pour off my body and drench my shirt, a new message emerges: “Don’t Quit!”

I have learned that easy roads teach very few valuable lessons. But persevering through the stressors not only strengthens me, but it builds an empathy for others that I would have otherwise missed.

The poet Epictetus noted this about the mighty Hercules:

“What would have become of Hercules do you think if there had been no lion, hydra, stag or boar—and no savage criminals to rid the world of? What would he have done in the absence of such challenges?

“Obviously he would have just rolled over in bed and gone back to sleep. So by snoring his life away in luxury and comfort he never would have developed into the mighty Hercules.

“And even if he had, what good would it have done him? What would have been the use of those arms, that physique, and that noble soul, without crises or conditions to stir into him action?”

—Epictetus, The Discourses

So the next time you are thinking about avoiding something that causes stress in your life, why don’t you reframe that thought. Instead, think about how you can become stronger, healthier, and more empathetic toward others because you are committed to successfully navigating that stressful situation.

Don’t ask God to get you out of that stressful situation, but ask Him to help you get something out of that stressful situation.

Eustress, Not Distress

Please notice that I have been talking about the good stress (eustress), but there is also a dangerous stress which doctors call distress. If we are trying to overcome a challenge in our own strength alone, instead of relying on God’s supernatural help, or if we are allowing stress to keep us from our healthy habits, eustress can disintegrate into distress.

The stress hormone cortisol is naturally flushed from the body in two ways: physical exercise and proper sleep. Isn’t it interesting that when we are experiencing higher than usual amounts of stress that two of the areas that seem to disappear from our lives are time for exercise and nights with solid, uninterrupted sleep?

When we allow eustress to become distress, everything suffers. Our physical health is compromised, we have an increasingly difficult time coming up with creative solutions, our patience with difficult people is strained, and we find ourselves fighting irritability.

How Jesus Did It

Earlier I mentioned the stressors that Jesus faced, but notice that we never see Him responding inappropriately, acting in an unhealthy way, or “stressed out” by the needs of the sheep around Him. Keep in mind that Jesus was “made like His brothers in every way” (Hebrews 2:17), which means He was not immune to the ravages of stress, yet He never let that stress overwhelm Him. He never even allowed eustress to cross the line into distress.

How did Jesus keep stress in balance? I see so many healthy habits in His life. For instance, I see not only the regular habit of prayer to start His day (Mark 1:35), but I see Him withdrawing for a time of prayer or even a nap when He completed a stressful time of ministry (Luke 5:16).

Jesus encouraged His disciples in this as well. The disciples were excited to tell Jesus about their latest ministry but the activity around Jesus was so hectic that they couldn’t even find time to get a bite to eat, let alone take a deep breath to recover from their ministry. “Come with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest,” Jesus told them. And then “they went away by themselves to a solitary place” (Mark 6:30-32).

To keep yourself from becoming distressed, be deliberate about maintaining your healthy habits during your times of eustress. Eat healthy, get proper exercise, get a good night’s sleep, spend extra time in your Bible study and prayer time, and schedule time with healthy friends. All of these things will help you leverage all of the benefits of eustress, making you a stronger, more consistent and empathetic leader.

The Best Way To De-Stress

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

Of all the things that rob a Christian of peace and robust mental health, stress has to be near the top of the list. There are so many stressors in our lives that to not find a way to actively de-stress is to choose to remain stressed. This is sort of like fertilizing the weeds, as we learned in our second mental health strategy. 

A certain amount of stress is good for us—doctors call this eustress. Our bodies have been designed by God with a hormone called cortisol that helps us respond to stressful situations, and He also designed that the unused cortisol be flushed from our bodies as we sleep and exercise. However, when we become stressed, many times sleep and exercise are squeezed out of our lives. 

Men’s Health magazine reported, “You personally may dictate when you’ll die. After studying 1633 men for 30 years, Purdue scientists found that worrying takes 16 years off your life. Negative thinking triggers the release of cortisol, a stress hormone that can be dangerous when elevated for long periods of time.” 

The eustress can degrade into distress if we’re not attentive to this downward slide. The excess cortisol that is allowed to remain in our bodies leads to unhealthy responses—like sleeplessness, starvation or binge eating, and little to no exercise. These unhealthy factors are further exacerbated by our diminished coping skills that come from the damage done to the hippocampus in our brain. Lingering cortisol kills the neurons in this memory center of our brains, which makes it harder for us to recall past lessons that could help us resolve stress. 

Sadly, distress can become its own downward cycle as the unhealthy responses and diminished coping skills negatively impact our lives, creating even more stressors. 

Stress makes us:

  1. Self-focused 
  2. Short-sighted 
  3. Stingy with our time, possessions, and even God’s promises 

But there is a word of hope for us. William James noted, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” 

I want to give you one thought—one word, one action—to combat stress: Bless. 

Blessing others takes the focus off myself. Blessing God puts the focus on Him. 

In the Gospels, we see people who had suffered the ravages of stress, encounter Jesus, find freedom, and then begin to bless others as a preventative to returning to their stress-filled lives. We can see a few examples in healed women, a man delivered from demons, and a woman who had lived a less-than-virtuous life (Luke 8:1-3, 26-39; 7:36-50). 

Frequently, the Old Testament psalmists shared how blessing God and others brought them out of their stressful situations. A great example comes from David when he chose to bless God in a stressful place, and ended up being a blessing to other afflicted people around him (Psalm 34:1-6). 

When you feel stress mounting, you need to get active. Feelings follow actions. We usually won’t feel ourselves into action, but we can act ourselves into feelings. 

The best way to de-stress is to bless! 

As we bless, look at the shifts that take place: 

  1. Instead of remaining self-focused we become others-focused 
  2. Instead of being short-sighted we get a big-picture orientation 
  3. Instead of being stingy with our possessions and God’s promises we become generous

Remember that in the distress cycle I mentioned earlier the brain cells in the hippocampus were being damaged? The excess cortisol literally kills those neurons. The good news is that the hippocampus is one of the few places in the brain that experiences neurogenesis after cortisol is flushed. When you replace stressing with blessing, and the cortisol is regularly flushed from your body, brain cells are regenerated in your hippocampus. In essence, you are developing both a new brain and a new mind. 

The apostle Paul wrote, “Put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24 NKJV). 

Don’t let stress steal life from your years and years from your life. De-stress by blessing God and blessing those around you. 

If you’ve missed any of the previous eight mental health strategies that I have shared in this series, you can find them all by clicking here. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials, like this exclusive video in which I take my supporters behind the scenes of my thought process in designing my confrontation flowchart. ◀︎◀︎

Our Musical Testimony

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.  

As these songs of ascent are reminding us, we’re trying to ascend into God’s presence. But it seems like the forces pulling us back downward are so strong! The lyrics in the most popular songs are getting more and more raunchy, the blockbuster movies routinely celebrate sin, TV shows increasingly push a decidedly unbiblical agenda, government leaders are caught in scandals, and church leaders are “de-transitioning” from their Christian testimony. 

It doesn’t seem like there is much to celebrate. 

Just like the Jews who found themselves defeated and living in a foreign land, or fighting opposition to rebuild their way of life, or contending with occupying forces that were hostile to their religion, we, too, find ourselves in a very similar place—even in a country that was supposedly built on godly principles. 

The worldly-minded and irreligious have always tried to pull down the godly. When they do, it makes it hard to even worship God (Psalm 137:1-4). 

I’ve been reminding you that in Hebrew literature we can usually get our perspective from the middle of the story. So before we look at this next song of ascent, let’s look at the middle of the Jewish story—the middle of their time of exile, when things seemed darkest. 

Jeremiah wrote a book of Lamentations which was in the middle of the exile. In the middle of his tears and gall and bitterness he wrote this—

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.” … I called on Your name, Lord, from the depths of the pit. You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears to my cry for relief.” You came near when I called You, and You said, “Do not fear.” (Lamentations 3:19-24, 55-57) 

Jeremiah said when he called God, He came near. He’s not saying that God had left him, but instead, Jeremiah is saying that he got his eyes off the ever-present God. As soon as he put his eyes back on God, he could feel His nearness. 

Our next song of ascent (Psalm 126) opens with the word “when.” This is a celebration of how God kept His word that the exiles would be released from Babylon and return to Jerusalem. As the Jews praised God for keeping His Word, then the surrounding nations saw and heard the testimony in the songs of joy that were being sung. 

God’s people were both singing for joy for God’s deliverance AND they were singing in joyful anticipation of what was still to come. 

They make a request in prayer for God to “restore our fortunes” (v. 4). This phrase always means that God is going to bring back everything that was taken away and then some. 

We have a promise two times in the next two verses that God will (not might) bring in these restored fortunes. In the midst of darkness or drought, it may seem hopeless to keep sowing seed. God sees your tears, and He will use your tears to water that seed and He will bring a harvest. 

The New Testament assures us of the same promise: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). 

We show our faith in God’s eternal victory by lifting up our voices in song today. That song is a testimony to the nations around us and an encouragement to other saints who may be struggling with weariness (see Ephesians 5:18-20). We keep on singing these songs of joy in anticipation of the final and eternal song we will sing in Heaven. 

God is near. He hears your sighs. He sees your tears. He is watering the seeds you are sowing, and He will bring a harvest. As you sow in tears, sow also with songs of joy! 

If you’ve missed any of the other messages in our Ascending series, you can find them all here. 

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Poetry Saturday—How Firm A Foundation

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?

“Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.”

“When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And Sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.”

“When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.”

“E’en down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And then, when grey hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.”

“The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no, never, no, never forsake!” —Richard Keene

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