12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid (book review)

12 Huge MistakesI read a lot of books, but very few of them get a “must read” designation from me. For parents and teachers, 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid by Dr. Tim Elmore fully earns my must-read label.

The future of our schools, our businesses, our communities and our country is being determined right now in our homes and in our schools. The way we raise our kids now will have far-reaching implications for all of us. Dr. Elmore has such a great way of speaking to the leadership issues of our young people, that I cannot urge you strongly enough to read this book.

Real quickly, the 12 huge mistakes that parents and teachers need to avoid are:

  • We Won’t Let Them Fail
  • We Project Our Lives On Them
  • We Prioritize Being Happy
  • We Are Inconsistent
  • We Remove The Consequences
  • We Lie About Their Potential And Don’t Explore Their True Potential
  • We Won’t Let Them Struggle Or Fight
  • We Give Them What They Should Earn
  • We Praise The Wrong Things
  • We Value Removing All Pain
  • We Do It For Them
  • We Prepare The Path For The Child Instead Of The Child For The Path

The book opens with a simple parenting quiz that will allow assess where you are in these 12 areas. Then you can turn to the chapter on which you scored the highest in the “overfunctioning parent” scale, and deal with that issue first. Each chapter is jam-packed with practical tips to correct that particular mistake.

Dr. Elmore describes the purpose behind his book this way—“Here’s the bottom line. I believe we need to face some new issues as parents. We must define what kids need from us to mature in a healthy way. We must figure out what hinders their growth and what equips them to be great adults. We must become both nurturers and trainers, knowing that we are not raising children, but future adults. I offer this book as a reference guide as you face your toughest challenges and attempt to get kids ready for life as they leave your home or school. Here’s to correcting our mistakes along the way—for their sake.”

Parents and teachers, go get this book!

Links & Quotes

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Some good reading from today…

I was totally blown away when I saw this morning that BibleGateway featured my chart The Kings & Prophets Of Judah & Israel!

[INFOGRAPHIC] 22 Surprising Facts About Sleep from the Cleveland Clinic. Here’s a great book resource: Sleep: It Does A Family Good.

Very powerful: An open letter to my friends struggling with eating disorders.

“In times of extraordinary crisis ordinary measures will not suffice. The world lives in such a time of crisis. Christians alone are in a position to rescue the perishing. We dare not settle down to try to live as if things were ‘normal.’ Nothing is normal while sin and lust and death roam the world, pouncing upon one and another till the whole population has been destroyed.” —A.W. Tozer

“I want you to know how to study theology in the right way. I have practiced this method myself. … The method of which I am speaking is the one which the holy king David teaches in Psalm 119. … Here you will find three rules. They are frequently proposed throughout the psalm and run thus: Oratio, meditatio, tentatio [prayer, meditation, trial]. …

“You should completely despair of your own sense and reason, for by these you will not attain the goal. … Rather kneel down in your private little room and with sincere humility and earnestness pray God through His dear son, graciously to grant you His Holy Spirit to enlighten and guide you and give you understanding. [Psalm 119:18, 27, 33, 34-37]. …

“Second, you should meditate. This means that not only in your heart but also externally you should constantly handle and compare, read and reread the Word as preached and the very words as written in Scripture, diligently noting and meditating on what the Holy Spirit means. … Therefore, you observe how in this psalm David always says that he will speak, think, talk, hear, read, day and night and constantly—but about nothing else than God’s Word and Commandments. For God wants to give you His Spirit only through the external Word. [119:11, 15, 48, 24, 47, 93, 97] …

“Third, there is the tentatio, the trial. This is the touchstone. It teaches you not only to know and understand, but also to experience how right, how true, how sweet, how lovely, how mighty, how comforting God’s Word is: it is wisdom supreme. This is why you observe that, in the psalm indicated, David so often complains of all sorts of enemies. … For as soon as God’s Word becomes known through you, the devil will afflict you, will make a real [theologian] of you.” [119: 67-68, 71] —Martin Luther, on the 119th Psalm

C.S. Lewis At War (audio drama review)

C.S. Lewis At WarWow, C.S. Lewis At War by Focus On The Family’s Radio Theatre has so much to like! I recently read C.S. Lewis In A Time Of War (you can read my review of this book by clicking here), so this audio drama was the perfect companion to the book.

If you’re anything like me, you might find that when a book is dramatized in a movie or an audio format, you say something like, “That wasn’t how I read that book.” But once again FOTF’s Radio Theatre stays so true to the intent of the story that it’s hard to find any places they departed from the book, the man, or the history of the time. In fact, I’d say the opposite: this dramatization actually brought out some details that the book form couldn’t address as fully.

If you like C.S. Lewis, old-time-radio broadcasts, history, or just a really well-told story, I think you will enjoy C.S. Lewis At War.

Don’t Forget The Most Important Thing

Pastor JoshPastor Josh continued the Boating Lessons series yesterday, which Pastor Tom began last week. What a great word Josh brought us! Here are my “raw notes” just as I took them during his message.

Boating Lessons—part 2 (Psalm 103:1-5Matthew 8:23-27)

How many of us have been in a storm where we felt out of control or distant from God? When we are in the midst of that storm, we must remember Who’s in the boat with us.

Jesus challenged the disciples, “Have you forgotten Who I am?” They had seen Him heal leprosy (8:1-4), heal paralysis (8:5-13), raise up the sick and set the demon-possessed free (8:14-17). But now they were more focused on the situation than on the Savior.

One symptom of forgetting Who God is: complaining (the disciples asked Jesus, “Don’t You care about us?!” [Mark 4:38]).

The storm is part of God’s process to change us and to bring glory to God—Be strong, courageous, and firm; fear not nor be in terror before them, for it is the Lord your God Who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).

Don’t forget Who’s in the boat … He never leaves us. The most important thing is not the storm rocking the boat but Who is in the boat with me!

I might feel like I have no control, but I must remember that Jesus is in the boat with me and He has all control!

Storms may come “without warning” to me (Matthew 8:24), but remember God Who is in my boat is All-Knowing and He’s never taken by surprise. 

Pastor Josh closed his message the same way I’d like to close this post: in prayer. If you are in the midst of a storm—or if you feel like God is distant—this is the best time to cry out to Him in prayer. The Holy Spirit can remind you of Who is in the boat with You. He will never leave you nor forsake you!

Please join us next Sunday as Pastor Tom and Pastor Josh continue this series.

Links & Quotes

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Some great reading & watching from this weekend…

What it means to fight like a man.

[INFOGRAPHIC] The most popular Book of all time.

“Christians are priests, but how priests if they offer no sacrifice? Christians are lights, but how are they lights unless they shine for others? Christians are sent into the world, even as Christ was sent into the world, but how are they sent unless they are sent to pray? Christians are meant not only to be blessed themselves, but in them shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, but how if you refuse to pray?” —Charles Spurgeon

“Reason does not know that salvation must come down from above; we want to work up from below so that the satisfaction is rendered by us.” —Martin Luther

“No matter the society or culture, the city or town, God has never lacked the power to work through available people to glorify His name.” —Jim Cymbala

Chilly Chilton has a very timely message: My Take On Mark Driscoll & Acts 29.

[FREE EBOOK] I love the graphics and Bible study tools from The Overview Bible Project. Check out the free ebook they are offering on the apostles.

[VIDEO] John Maxwell says, “You cannot be full of yourself and focused on others.” Check out his video on humility.

Poetry Saturday—The Lay Of The Last Minstrel

 

NGS68272In peace, Love tunes the shepherd’s reed; 
In war, he mounts the warrior’s steed; 
In halls, in gay attire is seen; 
In hamlets, dances on the green. 
Love rules the court, the camp, the grove, 
And men below, and saints above; 
For love is heaven, and heaven is love. … 

But earthly spirit could not tell 
The heart of them that loved so well; 
True love’s the gift which God has given 
To man alone beneath the heaven. 
It is not Fantasy’s hot fire, 
Whose wishes, soon as granted, fly; 
It liveth not in fierce desire, 
With dead desire it doth not die: 
It is the secret sympathy, 
The silver link, the silken tie, 
Which heart to heart, and mind to mind, 
In body and in soul can bind.

—Sir Walter Scott

 

Links & Quotes

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Some good reading from today…

“There are no unsacred places; there are only sacred places and desecrated places.” —Wendell Berry

“It may be that when we no longer know which way to go that we have come to our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.” —Wendell Berry

“Wherefore seeing that all Christians know that the death of the religious beggar amongst the dogs, licking his sores, was better than the death of the wicked rich man in all his silks and purples, what power hath the horror of any kind of death to affright their souls that have led a virtuous life?” —Augustine

Parents & teachers should especially check out Tim Elmore’s post: 5 Ways To Cure The “Cool Kid” Curse. In this post he mentions his book Artificial Maturity; click here to read my review of this outstanding resource.

“We have thus plainly before us the principle, that our Lord in His infinite wisdom and superabundant love, sets so high a value upon His people’s faith, that He will not screen them from those trials by which faith is strengthened.” —Charles Spurgeon

The Law & The Gospel

Hannah Whitall Smith, in her book The Christian’s Secret Of A Happy Life, contrasts living under the law and living under the gospel. She says, “It is a fact beyond question that there are two kinds of Christian experience, one of which is an experience of bondage, and the other an experience of liberty. In the first case the soul is controlled by a stern sense of duty, and obeys the law of God, either from fear of punishment or from expectation of wages. In the other case the controlling power is an inward life-principle that works out, by the force of its own motions or instincts, the will of the Divine Life-giver, without fear of punishment or hope of reward. In the first the Christian is a servant, and works for hire; in the second he is a son, and works for love. … The following contrasts may help some to understand the difference between these two kinds of religion, and may also enable them to discover where the secret of their own experience of legal bondage lies:” 

The Law & The GospelTo download a PDF version of this chart click here → The Law & The Gospel ←

To read my book review of The Christian’s Secret, click here.

To read some quotes from this book, click here.

 

Links & Quotes

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Some good reading & viewing from today…

As the fellowship I grew up in celebrates its 100th anniversary, I love reading quotes like this: “Worldwide, 95% of Assemblies of God adherents lived outside the United States in 2013. In the U.S., over 41% of Assemblies of God adherents were non-white. In the U.S., the white constituency has decreased by 34,922 over the past ten years, while the number of non-white constituency has increased by 433,217.

An excellent post for unmarried people, and the friends who care about them: 4 Lies Single People Need To Stop Believing.

[VIDEO] Millions of dollars in “humanitarian aid” for the Palestinian people has been hijacked by Hamas to build tunnels into Israel for their terrorist schemes.

“God’s sovereignty means that His design for us cannot be frustrated. Nothing, absolutely nothing, befalls those who love God and are called according to His purpose, except what is for our deepest and highest good (Romans 8:28; Psalm 84:11).” —John Piper

“Since God does in fact address man in His Word, He obviously regards him as addressable in spite of the fact that man as a sinner closes his ears and heart to Him.” —Karl Barth

Your gift makes you a servant, not a master.” Read more in: Use Your Knowledge To Serve Others.

“In a time when everything in the world seems to be vanity, God is depending on us to proclaim that He is the great Reality, and that only He can give meaning to all other realities.” —A.W. Tozer

Devotional Ideas

BibleGateway

Are you looking for some ideas to stimulate your personal devotional time in the Bible? BibleGateway.com has some amazing resources! One that I use every day are the various devotionals/newsletters that can be emailed to me. Each morning I discover fresh insights into God’s Word from some of the most trusted spiritual giants.

For instance, I read this as a part of a message from Charles Spurgeon this morning—

How numerous are the tears of unbelief! We manufacture troubles for ourselves by anticipating future ills which may never come, or which, if they do come, may be like the clouds, all ‘big with mercy,’ and ‘break with blessings on our head.’ We get supposing what we should do if such-and-such a thing occurred, which thing God has determined never shall occur. We imagine ourselves in positions where providence never intends to place us, and so we feel a thousand trials in fearing one. That bottle, I say, ought never to carry within it a tear from a believer’s eyes, and yet it has had whole floods poured into it. O the wickedness of mistrust of God, and the bitterness with which that distrust is made to curse itself. Unbelief makes a rod for its own back; distrust of God is its own punishment….

Check out the devotionals by clicking here, or the list of available newsletters by clicking here.

Whatever it takes to get you more into God’s Word, just do it!