David describes slanderers like this: “They make their tongues as sharp as a serpent’s; the poison of vipers is on their lips” (Psalm 140:3).
I’m sure you have experienced the poisonous, stinging bites of a slanderer’s fangs, just as David did.
Instead of lashing out, David prays:
Keep me safe, Lord, from the hands of the wicked; protect me from the violent, who devise ways to trip my feet. … May slanderers not be established in the land; may disaster hunt down the violent. I know that the Lord secures justice for the poor and upholds the cause of the needy. (Psalm 140:4, 11-12)
Notice what David doesn’t do and does do:
🚫 He doesn’t respond to the evil people that have spewed slander at him.
✅ He does ask God to deal with those gossips and slanderers.
Let’s follow his example. When the attacks come your way, let God respond to those people, and let us follow the example of another prayer of David: “Be merciful and gracious to me, O God, be merciful and gracious to me, for my soul takes refuge and finds shelter and confidence in You; yes, in the shadow of Your wings will I take refuge and be confident until calamities and destructive storms are passed” (Psalm 57:1).
Gossip and slander are two of the painful bites I discuss in my book When Sheep Bite. And you may also be interested in a series of sermons I shared called When Sheep Bite Sheep.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
When people lash out at us—when they bite us—they could be giving us invaluable insight into what is truly in our heart. Before we respond too quickly, we need to take some time for introspection.
Check out this part of my conversation with John Opalewski and Jim Wiegand on the Leading From Alignment podcast.
Chapter 2 of When Sheep Bite is entitled ‘Is God Trying to Get My Attention?’ I tell a story about two similar bites I received from two totally different people who didn’t even know each other. I wrote—
As I drove back across the state, I kept the radio off and my ears open. I could feel the Holy Spirit asking me, “Why do you think two different people have called you the same nasty word?” The only honest answer I could give was, “Because it’s true.”
I wasn’t wrong in the way I held to the rules, but my overly-confident attitude had definitely crossed the line to become an in-your-face arrogance. I learned two lessons from this experience. First, if I do the right thing the wrong way, I’ve really done the wrong thing. Second, when similar attacks come, I need to pay attention.
Now, when a painful attack suddenly confronts me, I go to the mirror. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with them that they would bite me like this?” I go to prayer to ask, “Did I do something that provoked this?” Sometimes I have literally gone into my bathroom, closed the door, and gotten nose-to-nose with myself to ask this question, and then listened for the Holy Spirit to speak to my heart.
My cousin Dick Brogden wrote, “Critics and skeptics are gifts to us, for in their aspersions they often bring to light a brokenness or a liability early on in its development in us. If we are secure enough to ferret out the truth through the condemnation of others, we remain healthy in the long term as our malady is exposed and dealt with before it becomes too serious.”
Remember that we are naturally self-protective, so this time of introspection will need to be supernaturally empowered by the Holy Spirit if we are going to see the true prompter of the attack.
Please check out my book When Sheep Bite to both heal from past bites and prepare yourself for the bites which are inevitably coming in the future.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
On The Craig and Greg Show, Greg noted that my book When Sheep Bite isn’t just for church leaders, but business leaders can benefit from reading this as well.
I recently shared a series of messages for all Christians about how to handle the painful bites that sometimes come from other Christians. The series was called When Sheep Bite Sheep.
The closing chapter of my book When Sheep Bite is entitled ‘Faithfulness > Fight or Flight.’ In that chapter I wrote—
Remember that we are all striving to not succumb to the natural fight-or-flight response, but to attain the supernatural response of faithfulness. In this, we have a perfect example in our Good Shepherd.
In the Book of Revelation, Jesus is called the One who is “Faithful” (Revelation 19:11), and Paul says that the Faithful One who has called us will empower us to remain steadfast: “He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:24 NKJV).…
Yes, fight-or-flight is our natural response, but with the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, we can respond in supernatural faithfulness. We don’t have to sit unmoving and unfeeling, but we can continue to serve even biting sheep until God removes us or them.
We glorify God by faithfully serving the sheep He has placed under our care, giving our very best, even if our words and actions are unappreciated or ignored by those we are serving.
If you are in a difficult place in your leadership assignment, I encourage you to check out When Sheep Bite.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
If an organization is going to grow in a healthy way, leaders must learn how to correctly address wrong attitudes and behaviors. They do this best when they use confrontation only as a means to restoration.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Sir Isaac Newton may have said for every action there was an equal and opposite reaction, but that’s not true for God-fearing leaders.
Check out this episode of The Podcast.
The story of Paul and Barnabas that I reference in this video is found in Acts 14:1-21.
My book When Sheep Bite is divided into three section. In the first section I talk about a shepherd leader’s heart and section two diagnosis the sheep bites leaders endure. The final section is all about the faithfulness to finish well—not giving in to the natural responses of fight or flight.
I open that final section of the book like this—
Psychologists and medical doctors have all described what happens to our minds and bodies when we are under attack. They are universal responses that our loving Creator has implanted in all of us to be able to respond to threats that come at us. When confronted with a biting sheep, without consciously thinking about it our minds and bodies prepare for fight or flight.
But let’s consider those responses in the context of a shepherd pasturing his sheep. Is it an effective strategy for the shepherd to fight his sheep? No, of course not. Paul told Timothy that a shepherd is “not quarrelsome but forbearing and peaceable” (1 Timothy 3:3 AMPC).
Is it allowable for the shepherd to run away from the threat, leaving the flock without a shepherd? Again, no, as Jesus told us that one who resorts to flight isn’t worthy to be called a shepherd but is considered a mere “hired hand [who] cares nothing for the sheep” (John 10:12-13).
So if godly shepherds cannot give in to the natural responses of fight or flight, what are we to do? Since we serve an all-power, all-loving Chief Shepherd we must look to Him for the supernatural response of faithfulness.
Since both of these prayers are in the Bible, both of them have their place in our healing from the bites we have received from others, but the intercessory prayers are the ones we need to strive to pray.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
You may have noticed that the intensity of the pain of these sheep bites has been escalating—from flattery, to criticism, to gossip. Now we come to probably the most painful of bites: slander. This is the bite that will have the strongest pull toward the natural response, which will require our greatest reliance on the Holy Spirit to respond supernaturally.
Remember that gossip has a veneer of truth on it; slander has no truth at all. They are outright lies. They are flimsy lies. They are malicious lies. One of the Hebrew words translated slander means scandal-monger: someone who trades in lies (Jeremiah 6:28 NLT; Leviticus 19:16).
The natural response to slander is, “I have to respond to them!” The supernatural response to slander is, “I have to yield to God!”
The natural response, however, is fueled by my wounded pride. On the other hand, the supernatural response is fueled by humility toward God.
Slanderers are arrogant people too (remember Jeremiah said “they are as hard as bronze and iron” [Jeremiah 6:28]). God’s people are learning to humble themselves to wait for God (Psalm 38:12-15). These humble people are the ones who get God’s help, and not His laughter (James 4:6; Proverbs 3:34 NLT).
Look at how Jesus dealt with the very natural urge to respond to those who slandered Him. After Jesus was arrested by the temple guards, He was hauled before one group after another and each time the slanderous lies were spitefully spit at Him. In front of the Sanhedrin, before Roman governor Pontius Pilate, and in the throne room of King Herod Antipas, angry men unleashed their venomous claims—none of which were true.
There are two common themes we can notice in all of these settings.
The lies were seen for what they were: complete fabrications without any truth behind them—Mark 14:55. Governor Pilate said “I find no basis for a charge against Him” (Luke 23:4), and he added, “Herod came to the same conclusion and sent Him back to us” (v. 15).
The silence of Jesus: “Jesus remained silent and gave no answer” (Matthew 27:13-14; Mark 14:61, 15:5). The only red letters in this interaction with both the Sanhedrin and Pilate are when Jesus is asked a direct question. Jesus quickly answers the questions, “Are You the Messiah,” “Are You a King,” and “Don’t You know the power I have?” (Mark 14:61, 15:2; John 19:10), but He never responds to the slander.
Let me repeat: Our supernatural response can only come from yielding to the Holy Spirit’s influence.
We cannot treat slanderers as anything less than people created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27; Psalm 15:1, 3).
We must take our pain into God’s presence. This is what Jesus did (1 Peter 2:21-23). We can help ourselves by praying imprecatory prayers. These are words for God’s ears only (Jude 1:9; Psalm 58:6-8).
We have to learn to pray for our slanderers. We have to mature from praying against them to praying for them. Look at how Jesus interceded for His slanderers (Luke 23:34), which He calls us to as well (Luke 6:28).
We have to live as overcomers. We overcome by NOT responding to slander in the natural way (Romans 12:21). But we allow our supernatural response to be used as a powerful testimony (2 Corinthians 6:3-10; Colossians 3:1-2, 8, 12-14).
We can do this—the Holy Spirit is empowering us to do this. Let’s not get down in the mud with those who slander us, but let’s yield to God and allow Him to handle this painful situation far better than we ever could.
If you’ve missed any of the messages in this series, you can find them all here. And if you are a pastor, please check out my book When Sheep Bite, which will help you both respond to sheep bites and teach others how to respond as well.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
A bite we have all experienced is gossip. We called flattery the sneaky bite, but I think gossips believe they are actually being sneaky—that somehow they are getting away with their gossip.I think gossip is also sneaky because we can be pulled into a gossipy conversation almost without realizing what is happening.
That’s because gossip usually has a veneer of truth on it. That thin coating of truth may be sugary sweet, but the words hide a bitter poison that is intended to undermine the one that is being talked about. Twice Solomon says, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels” (Proverbs 18:8, 26:22). The Contemporary English Version translates this verse even more graphically: “There’s nothing so delicious as the taste of gossip! It melts in your mouth.” But Solomon also warns, “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28).
Moses had married a Cushite woman, a marriage that was neither morally nor legally wrong. If someone simply said, “Moses married a woman from Cush” they would have been speaking the truth. The gossips (Miriam and Aaron) want to use a truthful statement for the purpose of making a case to prove their point. These siblings crossed the line when they stopped talking about the idea and start talking about Moses. This is especially true when their conversation about Moses was to make him look inferior or to make themselves look superior.
I think a label that is very apropos for this is “character assassination.” An assassin gets close enough to strike, but also has an alibi to cover themselves. So, too, the gossip can inject their poison to denigrate someone’s character, but then use the alibi of saying, “What? Did I say something untruthful?”
There is truth in their questions that God has used all three of them to delver messages and to sing worship songs, but in light of their statement in verse 1 they are clearly asking these questions with poisonous intent. You can especially spot gossip by this characteristic sign: They talk about a person, but they won’t talk to that person. We are not told to whom Miriam and Aaron may have been speaking to in verse 2, but it certainly wasn’t Moses. That means they were trying to get other people to rally to their side.
When we have been the target of a gossip’s words, we should follow the example that Moses gave us.
Remember that God has heard the gossip (Numbers 12:2b, 4-8).
Check your pride (v. 3). If you feel you must address the gossip, you must address the topic without attacking the gossiper (see Romans 12:17-18).
Be careful of who you are correcting. It’s best to let God do the correcting (Numbers 12:8-9), but if do need to speak to the person, be cautious of adding fuel to the fire (Proverbs 9:7-9).
Desire restoration. Moses interceded for Miriam’s healing (Numbers 12:13), and Jesus has the idea of restoration and unity in the Church in mind in Matthew 18:15-16.
Stay away from the unrepentant gossiper. If the gossiper doesn’t acknowledge their sin, we have to limit our interaction with that sheep (Matthew 18:17) . After Miriam was healed of her leprosy, there is no other mention of her until she died which is probably an indication that Moses didn’t have any additional conversations with her. Paul gave Timothy similar counsel about Alexander (1 Timothy 1:19-20; 2 Timothy 4:14-15).
The natural response to gossip spoken about you is fight or flight. The supernatural response is faithfulness to the Bible’s counsel about a gossiper.
And one final word to all of us: Don’t become a gossip yourself!
Just as God hears those gossiping about you, He hears you gossiping about others!
Don’t…
…talk about people who aren’t in the room. Remember the Golden Rule of treating others the way you want to be treated (Luke 6:31).
…share information that isn’t yours to share (Proverbs 25:9).
…listen to a gossip. If they gossip to you about others, they will gossip about you to others!
Gossip, as Solomon warned us, separates even the closest of friends. We must identify it and deal with both the gossip and the gossiper in a God-honoring, biblically-sound way. And we must avoid becoming a gossip ourselves.
If you’ve missed any of the other sheep bites we’ve talked about in this series, you can find them all by clicking here. And if you are a pastor, check out my book When Sheep Bite, where I address the bites of sheep from a leadership paradigm.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
If leaders say or do the right thing in the wrong way, it really becomes the wrong thing. This is why leaders—especially those who have been sheep-bitten and want to bring corrections—need to take a pause.
In that short moment of reflection, the Holy Spirit can help pastoral leaders respond in a way that will bring restoration, not more pain and possibly division.
I talked about this idea from chapter 2 of my book When Sheep Bite on the Leading From Alignment podcast with John Opalewski and Jim Wiegand.
David describes slanderers like this: “They make their tongues as sharp as a serpent’s; the poison of vipers is on their lips” (Psalm 140:3). 
Craig T. Owens 