The closing chapter of my book When Sheep Bite is entitled ‘Faithfulness > Fight or Flight.’ In that chapter I wrote—
Remember that we are all striving to not succumb to the natural fight-or-flight response, but to attain the supernatural response of faithfulness. In this, we have a perfect example in our Good Shepherd.
In the Book of Revelation, Jesus is called the One who is “Faithful” (Revelation 19:11), and Paul says that the Faithful One who has called us will empower us to remain steadfast: “He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:24 NKJV).…
Yes, fight-or-flight is our natural response, but with the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, we can respond in supernatural faithfulness. We don’t have to sit unmoving and unfeeling, but we can continue to serve even biting sheep until God removes us or them.
We glorify God by faithfully serving the sheep He has placed under our care, giving our very best, even if our words and actions are unappreciated or ignored by those we are serving.
If you are in a difficult place in your leadership assignment, I encourage you to check out When Sheep Bite.
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If an organization is going to grow in a healthy way, leaders must learn how to correctly address wrong attitudes and behaviors. They do this best when they use confrontation only as a means to restoration.
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Sir Isaac Newton may have said for every action there was an equal and opposite reaction, but that’s not true for God-fearing leaders.
Check out this episode of The Podcast.
The story of Paul and Barnabas that I reference in this video is found in Acts 14:1-21.
My book When Sheep Bite is divided into three section. In the first section I talk about a shepherd leader’s heart and section two diagnosis the sheep bites leaders endure. The final section is all about the faithfulness to finish well—not giving in to the natural responses of fight or flight.
I open that final section of the book like this—
Psychologists and medical doctors have all described what happens to our minds and bodies when we are under attack. They are universal responses that our loving Creator has implanted in all of us to be able to respond to threats that come at us. When confronted with a biting sheep, without consciously thinking about it our minds and bodies prepare for fight or flight.
But let’s consider those responses in the context of a shepherd pasturing his sheep. Is it an effective strategy for the shepherd to fight his sheep? No, of course not. Paul told Timothy that a shepherd is “not quarrelsome but forbearing and peaceable” (1 Timothy 3:3 AMPC).
Is it allowable for the shepherd to run away from the threat, leaving the flock without a shepherd? Again, no, as Jesus told us that one who resorts to flight isn’t worthy to be called a shepherd but is considered a mere “hired hand [who] cares nothing for the sheep” (John 10:12-13).
So if godly shepherds cannot give in to the natural responses of fight or flight, what are we to do? Since we serve an all-power, all-loving Chief Shepherd we must look to Him for the supernatural response of faithfulness.
Since both of these prayers are in the Bible, both of them have their place in our healing from the bites we have received from others, but the intercessory prayers are the ones we need to strive to pray.
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You may have noticed that the intensity of the pain of these sheep bites has been escalating—from flattery, to criticism, to gossip. Now we come to probably the most painful of bites: slander. This is the bite that will have the strongest pull toward the natural response, which will require our greatest reliance on the Holy Spirit to respond supernaturally.
Remember that gossip has a veneer of truth on it; slander has no truth at all. They are outright lies. They are flimsy lies. They are malicious lies. One of the Hebrew words translated slander means scandal-monger: someone who trades in lies (Jeremiah 6:28 NLT; Leviticus 19:16).
The natural response to slander is, “I have to respond to them!” The supernatural response to slander is, “I have to yield to God!”
The natural response, however, is fueled by my wounded pride. On the other hand, the supernatural response is fueled by humility toward God.
Slanderers are arrogant people too (remember Jeremiah said “they are as hard as bronze and iron” [Jeremiah 6:28]). God’s people are learning to humble themselves to wait for God (Psalm 38:12-15). These humble people are the ones who get God’s help, and not His laughter (James 4:6; Proverbs 3:34 NLT).
Look at how Jesus dealt with the very natural urge to respond to those who slandered Him. After Jesus was arrested by the temple guards, He was hauled before one group after another and each time the slanderous lies were spitefully spit at Him. In front of the Sanhedrin, before Roman governor Pontius Pilate, and in the throne room of King Herod Antipas, angry men unleashed their venomous claims—none of which were true.
There are two common themes we can notice in all of these settings.
The lies were seen for what they were: complete fabrications without any truth behind them—Mark 14:55. Governor Pilate said “I find no basis for a charge against Him” (Luke 23:4), and he added, “Herod came to the same conclusion and sent Him back to us” (v. 15).
The silence of Jesus: “Jesus remained silent and gave no answer” (Matthew 27:13-14; Mark 14:61, 15:5). The only red letters in this interaction with both the Sanhedrin and Pilate are when Jesus is asked a direct question. Jesus quickly answers the questions, “Are You the Messiah,” “Are You a King,” and “Don’t You know the power I have?” (Mark 14:61, 15:2; John 19:10), but He never responds to the slander.
Let me repeat: Our supernatural response can only come from yielding to the Holy Spirit’s influence.
We cannot treat slanderers as anything less than people created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27; Psalm 15:1, 3).
We must take our pain into God’s presence. This is what Jesus did (1 Peter 2:21-23). We can help ourselves by praying imprecatory prayers. These are words for God’s ears only (Jude 1:9; Psalm 58:6-8).
We have to learn to pray for our slanderers. We have to mature from praying against them to praying for them. Look at how Jesus interceded for His slanderers (Luke 23:34), which He calls us to as well (Luke 6:28).
We have to live as overcomers. We overcome by NOT responding to slander in the natural way (Romans 12:21). But we allow our supernatural response to be used as a powerful testimony (2 Corinthians 6:3-10; Colossians 3:1-2, 8, 12-14).
We can do this—the Holy Spirit is empowering us to do this. Let’s not get down in the mud with those who slander us, but let’s yield to God and allow Him to handle this painful situation far better than we ever could.
If you’ve missed any of the messages in this series, you can find them all here. And if you are a pastor, please check out my book When Sheep Bite, which will help you both respond to sheep bites and teach others how to respond as well.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
A bite we have all experienced is gossip. We called flattery the sneaky bite, but I think gossips believe they are actually being sneaky—that somehow they are getting away with their gossip.I think gossip is also sneaky because we can be pulled into a gossipy conversation almost without realizing what is happening.
That’s because gossip usually has a veneer of truth on it. That thin coating of truth may be sugary sweet, but the words hide a bitter poison that is intended to undermine the one that is being talked about. Twice Solomon says, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels” (Proverbs 18:8, 26:22). The Contemporary English Version translates this verse even more graphically: “There’s nothing so delicious as the taste of gossip! It melts in your mouth.” But Solomon also warns, “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28).
Moses had married a Cushite woman, a marriage that was neither morally nor legally wrong. If someone simply said, “Moses married a woman from Cush” they would have been speaking the truth. The gossips (Miriam and Aaron) want to use a truthful statement for the purpose of making a case to prove their point. These siblings crossed the line when they stopped talking about the idea and start talking about Moses. This is especially true when their conversation about Moses was to make him look inferior or to make themselves look superior.
I think a label that is very apropos for this is “character assassination.” An assassin gets close enough to strike, but also has an alibi to cover themselves. So, too, the gossip can inject their poison to denigrate someone’s character, but then use the alibi of saying, “What? Did I say something untruthful?”
There is truth in their questions that God has used all three of them to delver messages and to sing worship songs, but in light of their statement in verse 1 they are clearly asking these questions with poisonous intent. You can especially spot gossip by this characteristic sign: They talk about a person, but they won’t talk to that person. We are not told to whom Miriam and Aaron may have been speaking to in verse 2, but it certainly wasn’t Moses. That means they were trying to get other people to rally to their side.
When we have been the target of a gossip’s words, we should follow the example that Moses gave us.
Remember that God has heard the gossip (Numbers 12:2b, 4-8).
Check your pride (v. 3). If you feel you must address the gossip, you must address the topic without attacking the gossiper (see Romans 12:17-18).
Be careful of who you are correcting. It’s best to let God do the correcting (Numbers 12:8-9), but if do need to speak to the person, be cautious of adding fuel to the fire (Proverbs 9:7-9).
Desire restoration. Moses interceded for Miriam’s healing (Numbers 12:13), and Jesus has the idea of restoration and unity in the Church in mind in Matthew 18:15-16.
Stay away from the unrepentant gossiper. If the gossiper doesn’t acknowledge their sin, we have to limit our interaction with that sheep (Matthew 18:17) . After Miriam was healed of her leprosy, there is no other mention of her until she died which is probably an indication that Moses didn’t have any additional conversations with her. Paul gave Timothy similar counsel about Alexander (1 Timothy 1:19-20; 2 Timothy 4:14-15).
The natural response to gossip spoken about you is fight or flight. The supernatural response is faithfulness to the Bible’s counsel about a gossiper.
And one final word to all of us: Don’t become a gossip yourself!
Just as God hears those gossiping about you, He hears you gossiping about others!
Don’t…
…talk about people who aren’t in the room. Remember the Golden Rule of treating others the way you want to be treated (Luke 6:31).
…share information that isn’t yours to share (Proverbs 25:9).
…listen to a gossip. If they gossip to you about others, they will gossip about you to others!
Gossip, as Solomon warned us, separates even the closest of friends. We must identify it and deal with both the gossip and the gossiper in a God-honoring, biblically-sound way. And we must avoid becoming a gossip ourselves.
If you’ve missed any of the other sheep bites we’ve talked about in this series, you can find them all by clicking here. And if you are a pastor, check out my book When Sheep Bite, where I address the bites of sheep from a leadership paradigm.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
If leaders say or do the right thing in the wrong way, it really becomes the wrong thing. This is why leaders—especially those who have been sheep-bitten and want to bring corrections—need to take a pause.
In that short moment of reflection, the Holy Spirit can help pastoral leaders respond in a way that will bring restoration, not more pain and possibly division.
I talked about this idea from chapter 2 of my book When Sheep Bite on the Leading From Alignment podcast with John Opalewski and Jim Wiegand.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Do you know this pair of cantankerous men from the Muppets? Statler and Waldorf sit in the balcony of the theatre and criticize everything that is happening on the stage. I mean everything! They have a good laugh at their barbs, but no one on the stage seems to find it humorous.
Have you ever met people like this? How do you typically respond to their criticism?
Unfortunately, those who are trying to do the right thing are often the targets of almost constant criticism. Abraham Lincoln said, “If I were to attempt to answer all the criticisms and complaints I receive, I would have no time for any other business.”
President Lincoln was a great leader but he wasn’t without fault, so to certain extent we could expect a little bit of criticism from people who didn’t like his policies. But what about Jesus? It was prophesied about Him that He would be the target of criticism (Isaiah 53:3).
Those out to get Jesus even criticized those who attended to Him. In Mark 14:1-5, they are criticizing a woman who poured perfume on Jesus out of her sincere desire to honor Him. Yet they spoke about her and her actions “indignantly” (v. 4), and they rebuked and criticized her (v. 5). The Greek word in this verse literally means he snorting of horses!
Jesus stepped in to protect this God-fearing woman, “Why are you bothering her? Why are you criticizing this beautiful thing she had done for Me?”
Notice that Jesus responded to the critics, but the woman did not respond. Does that mean that we never answer critics? Are we supposed to ignore them?
First, let’s go back in time to the origin of the words critic and criticism. These words originally meant someone capable of giving a meaningful—perhaps even constructive or helpful—judgment. Think of a trained and skilled chef critiquing your recipe, as opposed to someone who cannot tell the difference between nutmeg and ginger.
The natural response is to ignore all criticism. The supernatural response is prayerfully evaluate criticism. Solomon says there is such a thing as valid criticism (Proverbs 25:12).
So who is a valid critic?
(1) Someone who loves me (Proverbs 27:17; Ephesians 4:15). Paul loved Peter and respected his leadership role in the church, but he still criticized Peter when he messed up (Galatians 2:9, 11).
(2) Someone who has experience or godly wisdom that we don’t yet have (Ecclesiastes 7:5). Micaiah had a word from God, even though King Ahab thought Micaiah simply didn’t like him (1 Kings 22:1-18).
(3) Someone who wants to hurt me. Really!? Dick Brogden wrote, “The Lord uses critics to show us our own hearts, even if what they say is not fully true, informed, or even fair. There is almost always a germ of truth in what our critics (in their own pain and disappointment) shout at us. The wise [person] will humble himself and look for the truth embedded in every oppositional interaction.” As we saw previously from Psalm 26:2, when we hear words of criticism, we need to make it a matter of prayer.
Jesus told the woman’s critics to “leave her alone” but He never defended Himself against the childish barbs (Isaiah 53:7; Matthew 27:13-14). I think we would do well to follow His example. So when criticized, take a deep breath, smile, hear them out, ask clarifying questions, and then say, “Thank you for sharing that with me. I’ll make this a matter of prayer.”
They might accuse you, but you should turn it over to God (Psalm 109:4).
The natural response is to respond all critics. The supernatural response is to respond like Jesus (see 1 Peter 2:21-23).
Remember that quote from Abraham Lincoln we saw earlier? Here’s the rest of his quote—
“From day to day I do the best I can and will continue to do so till the end. If in the end I come out all right, then the complaints and criticisms and what is said against me will make no difference. But, if the end brings me out wrong, then ten angels coming down from heaven to swear I was right would still make no difference.”
Ultimately, we are longing to hear Jesus say, “Well done.” If He cannot say that to us, does it really matter if everyone else praised us? But if Jesus says, “Well cone,” does it really matter the criticism others said about us?
Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us respond supernaturally to our critics—listen prayerfully to ever critic, but only respond to them as Jesus did.
If you have missed any of the other messages in this series When Sheep Bite Sheep, you can find them all here. And if you’re a pastor, be sure to check out my book When Sheep Bite.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Check out a couple of ways I could greet you in this post:
It’s great to see all of you today. I am really glad you stopped by my blog.
In fact, no one is as astute as you are. No one digs into the Scripture the way you do. There is no one else in the world that I would want visiting my blog today.
What did I just do? I went from genuinely complimenting you to flattering you. I bit you. Flattery is a sneaky bite that we need to be aware of.
A compliment is simply defined as an expression of praise or admiration.
Flattery, on the other hand, crosses the line. It’s defined as trying to please someone by excessive or insincere praise. The reason why I call flattery a bite is because the flatterer is only thinking about himself, not about you.
Flatterers are trying to get something for themselves. See how the rich young man tried to do this by flattering Jesus in Mark 10:17. The Amplified Bible brings out the man’s flattery more clearly: Teacher, You are essentially and perfectly morally good.
This man was looking for the secret formula that would get him into Heaven, so he wasn’t complimenting Jesus but flattering Him to get a favorable answer.
Jude described these pseudo-religious people as ones who “flatter others for their own advantage” (Jude 1:16). The NKJV says they use “great swelling words.” Peter describes these same kinds of people as speaking “great swelling words of emptiness” (2 Peter 2:18).
Flatterers are trying to trip you up so they are recognized as your superior. Once again, we can see how tricksters tried this tactic on Jesus in Mark 12:14. We know they are insincere because of the background information Mark gives us in vv. 12-13.
David described flatterers in Psalm 12:1-3. The AMPC says they talk “with flattering lips and double heart” and The Message paraphrases it, “Lies slide off their oily lips. They doubletalk with forked tongues” (v. 2).
Solomon warns us of the net they are setting for us: Those who flatter their neighbors are spreading nets for their feet (Proverbs 29:5).
Flatterers are trying to cover up their own sinfulness. David again diagnoses this in Psalm 36:1-4. This also means that sometimes we can flatter ourselves to avoid dealing with our own sin.
It’s natural to want to hear a compliment, but we need supernatural discernment to protect ourselves from the sneaky bite of flattery.
Look how Jesus did this in Mark 10:17-18. Remember the Amplified Bible that laid it on so thick? Jesus responded correctly: “There is no one essentially and perfectly morally good—except God alone” (v. 18). If we are going to do any comparing at all, let’s compare ourselves to our perfect God and Savior. Remember, we have done a self-check (Psalm 26:2) so we know what’s really there!
Swallowing this flattery only fuels the pride inside us. C.S. Lewis warned, “It was through Pride that the devil became the devil; it is the complete anti-God state of mind. … Pride is a spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.”
Look at the other example from Jesus in Mark 12:12-15. When Jesus sensed their flattery, He called it what it was: hypocrisy!
Flattery makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. Flattery makes you forget the things the Holy Spirit has revealed to you that needs work. But Jesus asked, “What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” (Mark 8:36 NLT).
The sincerest compliment we should all be living to hear is, “Well done, good and faithful servant! Enter into your Master’s happiness forever and ever!” No other voice matters!
Check out the other messages in this series called When Sheep Bite Sheep by clicking here. And if you are a pastor, check out my book When Sheep Bite.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Christians should always be striving for a win-win in our relationships. If we try to “win” at the expense of other saints, we all end up losing. So it boils down to this: It’s either a win-win or it’s a lose-lose—there are no other options in God’s Kingdom.
If you would like to watch the full sermon that this clip came from, you can find it here.
You may also be interested in these related posts:
Remember that we are all striving to not succumb to the natural fight-or-flight response, but to attain the supernatural response of faithfulness. In this, we have a perfect example in our Good Shepherd. 
Craig T. Owens 