13 Quotes From “Dear Abba”

Dear AbbaDear Abba is an intimate book of prayer and personal reflection; it’s thought-provoking and emotionally-moving. You can read my full book review by clicking here. Below are some of the quotes and prayers I found especially meaningful.

“Dear Abba, I’ve come to the place where I’m letting You love me more each day, but I still struggle with letting You like me.” 

“It would be comical if it wasn’t so sad: all of our desires to make ourselves worthy of this world but unfit for the world to come.”

“Peace and joy go a-begging when the heart of a Christian pants for one sign after another of God’s merciful love. Nothing is taken for granted, and nothing is received with gratitude.”

“I feel like the psalmist tonight—downcast. I was upcast, bright, enjoying the warmth of the day and then suddenly my joy was pickpocketed. It was a small thing, a minor misunderstanding that I could have let roll off like water, but I held on to it and nursed it awhile, and like sin always does, it grew. Now I find my mind completely disturbed, anxious, angry, and my imagination is conjuring up all sorts of somebody-done-me-wrong songs. Why do I not trust You? After so many demonstrations of Your infinitely tender hand, why do I not trust You?”

“Sin does not magnify the suffering of man’s plight; instead, it mitigates it. When I sin, I seek an escape from my humanity. I used to say to myself, ‘Well, you’re only human!’ But sin does not make me human; it compromises my humanity. The philandering husband with his mistress on business trips, the chemically addicted, the thieves who build ivory towers out of stolen money, the sensation-seekers and power brokers who seek substitutes. They do not drink the poverty of the human situation down to the last drop. They dare not stare it full in the face.” 

Yet. Those three letters stop me in my rutted tracks of besetting sins. For You were tempted as I am, yet You did not sin. The humbling point is that on a scale from 1 to 10, I usually give in when the heat reaches 3 or 4, yet You experienced the 10—the full-in-the-face of temptation—and did not give in. You are the friend of sinners, yet You are also the Great High Priest who invites us to come with confidence to Your throne and receive both our daily bread and extra rations for emergencies.”

“To practice poverty of spirit calls us not to take offense or be supersensitive to criticism.

“When the gift of a humble heart is granted, we are more accepting of ourselves and less critical of others. … For the humble person there is a constant awareness of his or her own weakness, insufficiency, and desperate need for God.”

“My friends in Christ, the simple truth is that the Christian Church in America is divided by doctrine, history, and day-to-day living. We have come a long sad journey from the first century, when pagans exclaimed with awe and wonder, ‘See how these Christians love one another!’” 

“Christ’s breakthrough into new life on Easter morning unfettered Him from the space-time limitations of existence in the flesh and empowered Him to touch not only Nepal, but New Orleans, not only Matthew and Magdalene, but me. The Lion of Judah in His present risenness pursues, tracks, and stalks us here and now.”

“I realized today that there is a third character who goes up to the temple to pray: the pharisaic tax collector—a ragamuffin who knows she’s a ragamuffin and wants to make sure everyone else knows she’s a ragamuffin. So she ends up using her sinner status not to cry out for mercy to You, but rather to seek out the attention of others as one who is real and authentic, when in reality she is nothing more than hubris in thrift-shop fashions. I realized this today because I looked in the mirror. God, be merciful to me.” 

“The tendency to continually berate ourselves for real or imaginary failures, to belittle ourselves and underestimate our worth, to dwell exclusively on our dishonesty, self-centeredness, and lack of personal discipline, is the influence of our negative self-esteem. Reinforced by the critical feedback of our peers and the reproofs and humiliations of our community, we seem radically incapable of accepting, forgiving, or loving ourselves.”

“If nobody remembers my name or the works of my hands, if everything that I’ve worked so hard to build over the years crumbles into insignificance, if I lose my health and my wits and even, heaven forbid, my memory, You are still my refuge and strength.” 

Thursdays With Oswald—Venting In Prayer

This is a weekly series with things I’m reading and pondering from Oswald Chambers. You can read the original seed thought here, or type “Thursdays With Oswald” in the search box to read more entries.

Venting In Prayer 

     When you are worked up to a pitch emotionally, read some of the Psalms, and the Spirit of God will gradually teach you how to form a spiritual nous*, a mind whereby you will not only understand but will slowly and surely get to the place where you can express your spirit, you will have a totally new language. 

* To read what Chambers means by the Greek word nous, click here. 

From Biblical Psychology 

Sometimes we’re too timid in our prayers. We think we need to hold back, or not really say what’s on our mind. We probably think that some of the language we use might be too offensive for God’s ears.

Have you ever read some of the Psalms? As Oswald Chambers suggests, this is a great place to form your prayer vocabulary. David really “lets loose” in some of his prayers, calling his enemies all sorts of names, and basically saying, “Get ‘em, God!”

So you don’t want to say those kinds of things to God? Don’t you think He already knows what you’re thinking? Wouldn’t it be much more effective to “vent” in prayer—in the safe presence of your loving Heavenly Father? It’s really only after you “get it out” that the Holy Spirit can help you work it out.

Express yourself—vent in God’s presence instead of the presence of those who are troubling you—and then listen to how God’s Spirit will help you slowly and surely get a brand new perspective on your situation.

UPDATE: I have a whole chapter called ‘Your Emergency Release Valve’ about these types of prayers in my book When Sheep Bite.

Love Is… (part 2)

Love is… worksheet 2We are taking a practical look at the incredible definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13. We’re doing this in the context of learning how to love the “unloveable”—or maybe I should say, loving those who are the most resistant to real love. If we can show them love, how much more will the love of Jesus be seen!

All of these verbs are present tense verbs. That means they aren’t exhausted in the past, and they aren’t waiting for future conditions to improve—they are in operation NOW.

Far too many people know Christians more by what we’re against than by what we’re for. So where the biblical text say “love does not” or “love isn’t,” I’ve changed it into the positive “love is.”

You can read about the first five attributes love love by clicking here.

The next five attributes are:

Love is graceful

  • The root word means something that should be covered up, or something we’re ashamed of. Because our words and actions are graceful, they are things we wouldn’t have to defend, or explain, or apologize for later. They are words and actions that wouldn’t embarrass us.
  • Agape will do nothing that misbecomes it.” —Matthew Henry

Love knows our relationship > my rights

  • True love “does not demand its own way” (New Living Translation) nor does it “insist on its own rights” (Amplified Bible). Instead it always seeks ways that the relationship can be repaired or enhanced, even if that means giving up something I consider to be “my right.”
  • NOTE: I’m not saying that you become a doormat. This is not a license for someone to abuse you, but it is a call for us to balance our responses. Romans 12:18 says as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
  • Here are some great balancing verses. Balance Proverbs 26:4-5 (here is a video where I expand on this idea), and then balance Philippians 2:3-4.

Love is even-tempered

  • The Amplified Bible says it well: love is not touchy or fretful or resentful.
  • This Greek word means not getting stirred up or exasperated. So we need to lighten up!
  • There are some places where we’ve become too sensitive, too touchy, too short-fused. The fire of hurt has replaced the fire of love. So Matthew Henry advises us: “Where the fire of love is kept in, the flames of wrath will not easily kindle, nor long keep burning.”

Love is forgiving

  • The New International Version says love keeps no record of wrongs.
  • This Greek phrase speaks of an accountant tallying up the hurts (where there is an overdrawn account), seeing there is a debt to be paid back, and then appointing himself as the bill collector. True love cancels those IOUs.
  • We don’t forgive others because they deserve forgiveness, but we forgive others because we received forgiveness from God that we did not deserve!
  • For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. (Matthew 6:14 AMP)

Love is God-honoring

  • Agape loves what God loves and hates what God hates.
  • Agape loves when people find God’s truth, and hates anything that blocks that pursuit.
  • Agape loves the sinner and hates the sin.
  • “The sins of others are the grief of an agape spirit [not] its sport or delight; they will touch it to the quick….” —Matthew Henry

Here’s where the real test comes in: How will you apply these attributes of love to someone in your life? More specifically: to someone you think is “unloveable”?

I know you have someone in your life that you think is unloveable. With that person’s face clearly in mind, how will you fill in the blanks:

  1. I can be graceful in…
  2. I can give up my right to…
  3. I need to lighten up in this area…
  4. I must forgive them for…
  5. I need to pray for a breakthrough in…

If you would like a downloadable PDF of this worksheet, click here –> Love is… worksheet 2

If you missed any of the messages in our Loving the Unlovable series, you can check them all our here.

Don’t Unchristianize Your World

This morning I shared this quote from Henry Drummond. He absolutely nails it when he says our temper can unchristianize the societies in which we live and work.

“The peculiarity of ill temper is that it is the vice of the virtuous. … No form of vice, not worldliness, not greed of gold, not drunkenness itself, does more to unchristianize society than evil temper. For embittering life, for breaking up communities, for destroying the most sacred relationships, for devastating homes, for withering up men and women, for taking the bloom of childhood, in short, for sheer gratuitous misery-producing power this influence stands alone.” —Henry Drummond

May God help us eliminate our unchristianized tempers!

Preying Or Praying

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.

I wrapped up our Ticked Off! series yesterday with a sad story. It appears right in the opening pages of the Bible, and it’s a story where one man’s anger preys on him, like a lion on a wounded animal.

Now Able kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. But Able brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Able and his offering, but on Cain and his offering He did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. 

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?” If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but YOU MUST MASTER IT.” (Genesis 4:2-7, emphasis added)

We’re not sure exactly why “the Lord looked with favor on Able and his offering, but not on Cain and his offering.” Except we know that the Bible says obedience is better than sacrifice. In other words, it’s not what they brought as a sacrifice, but how they brought their sacrifice. Apparently, Able’s heart was worshipful and Cain’s was begrudging.

Able’s heart was focused on God; Cain’s heart was focused on himself. That’s why Cain became so selfishly angry, because he wasn’t getting what he thought he deserved!

This anger was setting up Cain for disaster. Anger itself is not a sin, but unaddressed anger can put us on a slippery slope toward sin!

Notice God told Cain, “YOU must master it.” God can’t help us until we stop trying to help ourselves. God wants to help us defeat the crouching lion of sin, but we have to ask him to help us.

Sadly, there is no biblical record of Cain asking God for His help. Instead in the next verses Cain—so consumed by his anger that he cannot think straight—murders his own brother. Cain was preyed upon by anger because Cain didn’t pray about his anger.

The devil is looking for any opening at all where he can pounce on you. And Ephesians 4:26-27 says that unaddressed anger is just such an opening. Don’t let your anger defeat you as it did Cain. Confess your anger to God (Psalm 32:1-5) and let God help you defeat the crouching lion of anger.

Sin is PREYing. You must be PRAYing.

If you want to check out the other messages in our series called Ticked Off! you may click here.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Don’t Play The Fool

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.

You probably know this already: Once you get boiling mad, it’s hard to see things objectively anymore. You get steamed up—ticked off!—and you are on a no-detours course to “make things right.”

You might say things like…

  • “They need to know what they did wrong!”
  • “He’s got this coming to him!”
  • “She needs to get a taste of her own medicine!”

The unspoken completion of all of those phrases is the dangerous part. What we’re really saying is, “He needs to know what he did wrong, and I’m just the one to tell him!” Or, “She needs to get a taste of her own medicine, and I’m just the one to dispense that prescription to her!

It’s been said that action has killed its thousands; reaction its tens of thousands.

Did he hurt you? Yes!

Is he a jerk for doing so? Absolutely!

Should he get punished for it? Probably!

Are you the one to do it? No. No! NO!

He played the fool… Don’t sink to his level and play the fool yourself! 

Wise King Solomon said:

Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. (Proverbs 26:4)

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. (Proverbs 29:11)

So what can you do to the one who injured you?

The best thing you can do is to FORGIVE HIM!

That’s right: leave him in God’s hands. Let the All-Righteous Judge deal with him. Don’t stay wounded, because you are continuing to allow your injurer to keep you trapped, to keep you wounded. Leave him in God’s hands by taking your hands off of him!

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. (Romans 12:17-19)

Don’t play the fool! Forgive him and let God take it from there.

If you want to check out the other messages in our series called Ticked Off! you may click here.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

It’s Not Anger Management

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.

Aristotle had an insightful quote that was almost accurate—

“Anybody can become angry—that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”

I agree with most of this, but I would argue that it’s not within anybody’s power to express their anger in the right way.

The Bible says that our challenge is to not sin when we are angry (Ephesians 4:26). But most anger is selfishly provoked. That means, I’m angry because I have been offended, or my “rights” have been violated, or someone injured me.

If my anger has been selfishly provoked, how can I be expected to express my anger in any other fashion but selfishly?!

Instead of me trying to manage my anger, I need to listen to the Holy Spirit’s voice. There is one important question the Spirit asks us (which comes from Jonah 4:9)—

Do you do well to be angry?

  • Is it good for me to be angry with this? or should I let this go?
  • Is my anger righteously provoked? or is it selfishly provoked?
  • Does this grieve the Holy Spirit (Isaiah 63:10)?

God’s Spirit within you is never silent. He will either confirm that your anger is righteously provoked (as it was with Jesus in John 2:13-17), or it’s selfishly provoked (as it was with Jonah). That’s why you must ask yourself that question and allow the Holy Spirit to help you answer it: Do I do well to be angry?

If you answer “yes,” and the Holy Spirit confirms this in your heart, then He will help you to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way (as Aristotle said).

And if you answer “no,” the Holy Spirit is the only one who can help put out the flames of your anger in a healthy way.

So don’t try to manage your temper. Listen to the Holy Spirit asking you, “Do you do well to be angry?” And let Him guide you from there.

If you want to check out the other messages in our series called Ticked Off! you may click here.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

4 Myths About Your Temper

This morning I shared with my congregation—in part one of our Ticked Off! series—three myths about anger. I want to add a fourth here…

1.  Anger is a sin. 

God is angry numerous times; in fact, the Old Testament alone has hundreds of verses that mention God’s anger. In the New Testament, Ephesians 4:26 says, “…in your anger do not sin….” It doesn’t say, “don’t get angry,” but “when you’re angry, don’t sin.”

2.  Anger is always destructive. 

Some great advances have been brought about by people who got angry. For instance, Martin Luther, the father of the reformation, wrote, “When I am angry I can write, pray, and preach well, for then my whole temperament is quickened, my understanding sharpened, and all mundane vexations and temptations gone.”

3.  Anger doesn’t affect me.

Anger affects you physically. In one medical study researchers found that people who had strokes were more likely to have experienced anger in the two hours prior to having their stroke. It also affects your relationships. After you blow up, people close to you are injured and began to distance themselves from you.

4.  I can manage my anger.

Anger has a tendency to completely seize you, making it next to impossible to manage the furnace of emotions that is raging inside you. You cannot manage your anger! Instead, you need God’s help.

Check out the messages in this series by clicking here.

Ticked Off!

Have you ever been so angry that you couldn’t see straight?

Has someone ever pushed all your buttons?

Have you ever worked with someone who knew how to get on your very last nerve?

I can’t imagine anyone answering “No” to these questions. Of course, we all get mad. The real issue is what do we do when we get there?

More specifically: what’s a Christian to do when he or she gets thoroughly ticked off?

Starting this Sunday, I’m going to be exploring this topic, and I hope you can join me. We’ll be looking at what the Bible has to say about what we are supposed to do with these strong emotions. If you missed any of these messages, check them out here:

Thursdays With Oswald—Hate Properly

This is a weekly series with things I’m reading and pondering from Oswald Chambers. You can read the original seed thought here, or type “Thursdays With Oswald” in the search box to read more entries.

Hate Properly

     A Quaker friend of mine referring to a certain man said he did not like him because he did not hate properly. … The Christian standpoint should be one of positive anger when anyone is made to stumble. To remain indifferent when there is injustice abroad is to come under the curse of Meroz, who “came not to the help of the Lord…against the mighty” (Judges 5:23).

From Baffled To Fight Better

There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to Him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers. (Proverbs 6:16-19)

But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. (Matthew 18:6; Mark 9:42; Luke 17:2)

And the word of the Lord came again to Zechariah: “This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the poor. In your hearts do not think evil of each other.’ But they refused to pay attention; stubbornly they turned their backs and stopped up their ears. They made their hearts as hard as flint and would not listen to the law or to the words that the LORD Almighty had sent by his Spirit through the earlier prophets. So the Lord Almighty was very angry.” (Zechariah 7:8-12)

It’s time for us to get positively angry and hate the things that God hates.