Critics Can Be Gifts To Us

June 6, 2024 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.

I’m going to guess that I’m not alone in this: I don’t like when people criticize me. 

Especially when I’m in a leadership position, trying my best to make good decision for the entire organization, and someone comes up to me to criticize my decision-making abilities or my skill at carrying out my decisions. 

The easiest thing to do is simply dismiss their biting remarks. We can so easily say, “They have no idea what they’re talking about so I can ignore everything they’ve said to me.” 

Criticism is one of the most common bites that sheep dispense to those who are trying to shepherd them. 

But before we simply dismiss them, let me ask you to consider this: 

  • Is it possible that God is using these critics to get your attention? 
  • Is it possible that you have a flaw in a blind spot, and this critic is showing you something that you’ve been missing? 

If you can answer, “Yes” to even one of those questions, then you can also say that your critic is a God-sent gift for you to improve your leadership capacity. 

I discussed this recently on the Fellowship of Ailbe podcast.

The full quote from Dick Brogden’s book Proverbs: Amplified and Applied says: “Critics and skeptics are gifts to us, for in their aspersions they often bring to light a brokenness or a liability early on in its development in us. If we are secure enough to ferret out the truth through the condemnation of others, we remain healthy in the long term as our malady is exposed and dealt with before it becomes too serious.” 

This means that criticism should lead us to a time of honest introspection.

In the chapter “Is God Trying to Get My Attention?” in my book When Sheep Bite, I wrote—

      Remember that we are naturally self-protective, so this time of introspection will need to be supernaturally empowered by the Holy Spirit if we are going to see the true prompter of the attack. A prayer I have prayed more times than I can count is, “Search me thoroughly, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24 AMPC). 

      It is only this humble reflection that can turn an experience into a lesson. If I immediately lash out at the sheep who hurt me, I may drive that sheep away from me but I won’t necessarily have learned a lesson. The one who bit me may have left my pasture, but perhaps they will never join any other pasture but may wander in the wilderness for the rest of their life. If I slow down to respond, it’s quite possible that both these biting sheep and I can grow through this valuable lesson. 

Let’e reframe the way we think about critics and their criticism. Before we simply dismiss it, let’s prayerfully consider if there is a lesson that God is trying to teach to us through this critic. 

You can check out the full conversation I had on the Ailbe podcast here. 

You can order a copy of When Sheep Bite here.

And you may be interested in two related blog posts: 20 helpful thoughts on criticism and What is valid criticism?

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

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Walking Away From A Fight

June 4, 2024 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

People get into fights for lots of silly reasons. But one thing that causes many hurt feelings and harsh responses is gossip. This is one of the “sheep bites” I discuss in great detail in my book When Sheep Bite. 

In the chapter “When Sheep Gossip About You,” I wrote—

     The first part of the antidote when you have heard gossip spoken about you is to remember that God has also heard the gossip spoken about you. This is what Jesus demonstrated for us. Peter, who was there to hear all of the gossip spoken about Jesus, wrote, “He did not retaliate when He was insulted, nor threaten revenge when He suffered. He left His case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly” (1 Peter 2:23 NLT). … 

     There was no need for Moses to respond to these gossipers because the One “who always judges fairly” said to these gossipers, “Why then were you not afraid to speak against My servant Moses?” (Numbers 12:8). When God takes up our cause, let’s not try to take it out of His perfectly just hands. … 

     Just because God has called you to be His under-shepherd, and just because you may have been innocent of wrongdoing, you don’t have license to “lord it over” those who have gossiped about you. Moses described himself as humble—more humble than anyone else. He wasn’t bragging, but he wrote those words under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. An insecure leader feels the need to defend himself against any slight against his character, whether it is a real or perceived attack. But the humble leader knows that God’s calling comes with God’s protection. 

Solomon wrote, “Avoiding strife is an honor for a person, but any fool will quarrel” (Proverbs 20:3). 

Anyone can start a fight—it’s not hard at all! Especially when someone has spoken foolishly, ignorantly, or even maliciously against you in their gossip. 

But only strong people can walk away from a fight. 

Only wise people can remain quiet when a fool tries to provoke them into an argument. 

Only God-fearing people can entrust themselves to the One who keeps perfect records of the insults and slander thrown at them—just as Jesus did. 

Be that kind of leader! 

If you are a pastor, you know the painful bites of gossip. This is just one of several sheep bites I diagnose to help shepherd leaders find a healing, biblical response. Please check out my book When Sheep Bite. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

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Where This Book Originated

May 29, 2024 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

I would like to take you behind the scenes to the origin of my second book. In this video, you will hear how I first came up with the idea for When Sheep Bite, and how the Holy Spirit redirected my original book design.

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

I wrote this in the Introduction to Section One of When Sheep Bite—

      I know that when you are in distress you are looking for immediate relief. You may be tempted to jump right to Section 2 of this book where I outline specific thoughts and strategies for handling the ways your sheep are biting and kicking, but I invite you to hold off. … It may appear from your perspective that the fault lies entirely with the attacking sheep—and that you feel that you haven’t done anything to provoke them. But these attacks can open our eyes to things we haven’t noticed before and teach us invaluable lessons, if we are willing to quiet ourselves before the Holy Spirit’s counsel. …

     If we don’t have the heart of a shepherd leader, we will not only treat every bite and kick as if it is completely their fault, but we will never be looking for ways to bring healthy correction and restoration to that wayward sheep. Let me remind you that all of us were those wayward sheep—biting God’s hand, running away from Him—when Jesus put His very life on the line to bring us into the sheepfold (Romans 5:6-8). This kind of shepherding doesn’t come just because we outwardly try to do the right thing, but because we have a right heart attitude (Philippians 2:5).

I truly believe that When Sheep Bite will be a healing resource for shepherd leaders who are still feeling the pain of their latest sheep bite. If you are a pastor—or if you love your pastor—please pick up a copy today! 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

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Empathizing Is Never One-Upping

May 22, 2024 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

When we are going through something difficult or painful, we want to get counsel from someone who has some understanding of what we’re facing. In a word, we want someone empathetic. 

Webster’s Dictionary defines empathy as the action of understanding, being aware of, and being sensitive to the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another. If you were telling me about your painful situation, to let you know that I “get you”—that I empathize with you—I might say something like, “I’ve been there, done that, and have the scars to prove it.” 

But as I tell you my story, I need to really guard against one-upmanship. Webster’s defines that as the art or practice of outdoing or keeping one jump ahead of a friend or competitor. Saying something like, “Oh, feel your pain, but let me tell you how I had it so much worse” is one-upping and unhelpful! 

In my book When Sheep Bite, I wrote this in the Introduction—

     When you share a tale of real pain with a trusted friend, you don’t want them to try to one-up your story. Instead, you would want them to comfort you in your pain, to give you some helpful insight, or to even just cry along with you. On the other hand, you probably aren’t going to share your story of pain with someone who has no understanding of your situation. We want someone who “gets us,” someone who can relate, someone who can truly empathize with what we are feeling. … 

     I want to give you what I wanted when this happened to me: empathy, insight, a helpful perspective, and a manual of help that God has provided in the Bible. I don’t want to try to one-up your story of pain, because I’m confident that no one could truly know how deeply you’ve been hurt. But I do want to give you some assurance that I know what I’m talking about. 

As I was discussing some of the ideas in my book with a group of pastors, I reminded them of the value of an iron-sharpening-iron friend (as Solomon describes in Proverbs 27:17) who is empathetic without crossing the line into one-upmanship. 

I truly believe that When Sheep Bite will be a healing resource for shepherd leaders who have been there, done that, and have the sheep bite marks to prove it. If you are a pastor—or if you love your pastor—please pick up a copy today! 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

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My Newest Book Is Available Now

May 15, 2024 — Craig T. Owens

When Sheep Bite is available for purchase now.

This is a book I wish I didn’t have to write, but far too many pastors are leaving their ministries too early because of the attacks they have had to endure. When Sheep Bite is help for hurting shepherds.

One pastor has called this book “a must-read for every pastor and ministry leader,” and another pastor said, “This is more than a good book. This is the difference between finishing your race and dropping out.”

Check out this book review by theologian T.M. Moore.

When Sheep Bite is presented in three sections:

  1. Cultivating God’s heart toward the sheep
  2. A shepherd’s godly response to attacks
  3. Finishing well

Get your print copy today!

Here is a recent video about When Sheep Bite. You can also check out the whole playlist of videos related to this helpful book.

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Please Don’t Misunderstand Me

May 14, 2024 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

I want to make sure there are no misunderstandings on this, so please stay with me! I realize that the title of my newest book—When Sheep Bite—may bring a picture to your mind that I never intended.

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

Here are some helpful resources from this episode:

If you would like to watch the full interview I did on the Converge Coaching podcast, check that out here.

Order your copy of When Sheep Bite here!

Here are a bunch of ways to get in touch with me and follow along with other projects on which I am involved.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

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I Wish I Didn’t Have To Write This Book

May 7, 2024 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

This is a book that I wish I didn’t have to write. But it needed to be written, so let me tell you what it’s all about.

Check out this episode of The Podcast.

Here are some helpful resources from this episode:

If you would like to watch the full interview I did on the Converge Coaching podcast, check that out here.

Order your copy of When Sheep Bite here!

Here are a bunch of ways to get in touch with me and follow along with other projects on which I am involved

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

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Talking About Biting Sheep (part 1)

March 21, 2024 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.

I was so thrilled to join John Opalewski and Jim Wiegand on the Leading From Alignment podcast! 

This is part 1 of my interview with them about my new book When Sheep Bite.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

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No Need To Prove It

March 13, 2024 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

“Who gave You this authority,” the chief priests twice demanded of Jesus in Luke 20:1-8. 

Worldly minded people are always looking for a résumé of accomplishments or the stamp of approval from a superior, so they can demand the unquestioned loyalty from those who report to them. In other words, they are looking for authority from their position that allows them to prove to others that they are in charge. 

The “chief priests and the teachers of the law, together with the elders” (v. 1) had earned their positions, or so they thought. They are, therefore, asking Jesus to, “Prove it!” They want to know why Jesus gets to say and do the things He says and does.

Jesus had every right to flex on them! But He knew that His words and deeds spoke for themselves. He “knew that the Father had put all things under His power” (John 13:3) so there was nothing for Him to prove to anyone. 

In my book When Sheep Bite, I have a chapter about sheep questioning the authority of their shepherd. In that chapter I wrote—

     When our conversation with criticizing sheep hasn’t gone well, and when those unhealthy sheep begin to gossip and then slander, it’s inevitable that they will eventually began to question your authority as a shepherd. Perhaps they think you’re too young and naive, or too old and out of touch. They may question your motives, or the vision you’ve imparted for the church, or your ability to follow through on what you have already shared. Whatever the case, these biting sheep seem to be implying that they know better than you do how this pasture should be run. During times like these, it is tempting to want to “prove” that we are qualified, that we do know what we’re doing, and that we can indeed successfully pursue the vision we’ve articulated for them. Once again, it’s natural to want to say, “I’ll show you just how qualified I am!” 

     Before we respond, we need to recognize the source of our authority. … Far greater than positional authority is moral authority. This is authority that comes not merely from a title or position, but from who conferred that title or position on the leader. If God has called us and appointed us to this pasture, that is all the authority we need.

Jesus didn’t answer the “Prove it!” demand, but went right on teaching and serving. We need to remember that there is only One to whom we must give an answer. There is only One who can say to us either, “Depart for Me,” or “Well done, good and faithful servant!” 

A mark of a godly leader is one who is quietly confident of his moral authority. 

As a result, that leader no longer feels the need to prove anything. 

This is part 78 in my series on godly leadership. You can check out all of my posts in this series by clicking here. 

You can order my book When Sheep Bite here. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

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Faith To Forgive

February 12, 2024 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible. 

I shared this in my forthcoming book When Sheep Bite—

In January 1647, Oliver Cromwell captured King Charles I during the British Revolution. Within just a few months, Charles escaped and was able to raise another army. A year later, in August 1648, Cromwell’s forces once again defeated the army Charles had raised, and once again Charles was taken prisoner. 

Oliver Cromwell put Charles on trial for his crimes, and after the guilty verdict was pronounced, Charles I was executed. A total of 59 people signed the former king’s death warrant. 

Fast forward eleven years and Oliver Cromwell had died and his son Richard had taken his place as Lord Protector of England. Unlike his father, there was great discontent with Richard’s leadership. As a result, the Loyalists were able to sweep Charles II into power. 

After assuming the throne of England, Charles II wanted the 59 death warrant signers put on trial, but fifteen of them had already died. That little fact didn’t stop King Charles II. He ordered that their bodies be exhumed, placed on trial, convicted of their crimes, and then hung. 

I’m no psychologist, but I think it’s safe to say that Charles II might have had a slight problem with unforgiveness!  

This is from a chapter I entitled “The ties that no longer bind.” The insidious nature of unforgiveness is that it ties us to the one who injured or offended us. 

Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). The word He uses for “debts” means something justly or legally due, or an offense or sin that has been committed. So a debtor is one who morally or legally owes another for the wrong committed. 

So for these debts, we are taught to ask for forgiveness of God and to give that same forgiveness to others. Jesus uses the same root word for both “forgive” and “forgiven,” but there are nuances that make the picture quite clear. 

  • When we ask God to forgive our debts, it is the active voice (I have to ask for it) and it is stated in the second person (I have to receive it). When I ask my Heavenly Father for this, my offense has been paid-in-full because the legal and moral requirements aren’t due any longer. I couldn’t pay this debt on my own, but Jesus paid it for me (2 Corinthians 5:21).  
  • When I forgive someone who has wronged me, it is again the active voice (I have to give it), but it is now in the first person (I don’t wait around for the other person to ask for forgiveness). I let it go. I don’t hinder the other person or myself with waiting for the penalty to be paid any longer. 

This is the only part of this model prayer for which Jesus gives a commentary afterwards (in Matthew 6:14-15). With this, Jesus is teaching us that to say, “I’m forgiven” is also to say, “I’m forgiving.” 

Unlike Charles II, when we are forgiven and forgiving, the inevitable result is freedom for both ourselves and our offenders. 

If we practice this relentlessly, we are both freed ourselves and freeing others! 

When we ask God to forgive us, He forgives us immediately and completely (Psalm 103:12; Isaiah 1:18). We are to forgive our debtors just as quickly. 

When we pray, “Forgive as we also have forgiven,” we are both acknowledging His power to forgive us and requesting the faith need to be forgiving people. As C.S. Lewis noted, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” 

The Bible describes satan’s activity as stealing, killing, and destroying. He’s called the father of lies, so he uses slander to try to steal, kill, and destroy. His slander is: “God can’t forgive that” and “You shouldn’t let them off the hook for what they did to you.” 

These two thoughts are linked, just as “I’m forgiven” and “I’m forgiving” are linked. If I begin to  think that what someone did to me was too big for me to forgive, then I can also believe that there is a sin I have committed that is too big for God to forgive. But when I live both receiving and giving forgiveness, I can tune out this lie from hell. 

If you’ve missed any of the messages in this series called Kingdom Praying, you can find all of them here. 

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

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