Homemade = Heartmade

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “I love you”?

My favorite Father’s Day gifts are the homemade, personalized cards that my children make for me. Throughout the years I’ve kept a number of those close to me as bookmarkers or framed reminders on my desk. To me homemade = heartmade.

Yesterday one of my children gave me a card which had this heart-tugging line: “I love you so very because you love me.” And then there was this P.S.: “Don’t stop loving.”

On Father’s Day or Mother’s Day or birthdays, it seems easy to express our love. After a hospital stay or a near-death experience, it seems required to express our love. And that’s as it should be. But what about all the “normal” days in between?

I believe one of the greatest gifts I can give my family is a personalized, “heartmade” gift that tells the recipient that I’m thinking about them. In other words, I need to be actively and deliberately finding ways to express my heartmade love to those close to me every day.

Of the 86,400 seconds I have today, it will only take me a few seconds to:

  • Text “I love you”
  • Give a gentle squeeze or love pat as they walk by
  • Jot a quick note to pack in someone’s lunch
  • Buy their favorite candy as I’m checking out of the store
  • Stick a friendly Post-It note message to their bathroom mirror
  • Start or end their day with a hug

As Gertrude Stein wrote, “Silent gratitude isn’t very much use to anyone.”

Don’t make those close to you GUESS you love them, make sure they KNOW you love them. It only takes a second or two.

How will you use your 86,400 seconds today?

I’ll Make You An Offer You Can’t Refuse (Book Review)

I'll Make You An Offer You Can't RefuseOkay, I’ll be honest with you, the title of Michael Franzese’s latest book sounds like a cliché—I’ll Make You An Offer You Can’t Refuse. Sounds like a line right out of “The Godfather” or “Goodfellas,” right? But if you’re involved in the world of business, Mr. Franzese’s book is exactly that: an offer (book) you can’t refuse. From how to craft a business plan, to picking the right people, to learning how to negotiate the best deals, Mr. Franzese uses his years of wiseguy street-smarts to give you an advantage.

From the very first page, this book engaged me because I felt like I was having a conversation with the author. His style is very relaxed, and his stories about his business successes and failures are compelling. It’s not often that a business book reads like a novel, but I’ll Make You An Offer does just that.

Throughout all of his lessons, Mr. Franzese makes the contrast between the principles spelled out in the mobster’s bible (The Prince by Machiavelli) and principles articulated in the Holy Bible (specifically the writings of Solomon). Although he learned his strategies from his years in La Cosa Nostra (“this thing of ours” or the mob life), he makes a strong case his strategies will work in the legit life. The difference is the motivation that drives the strategies: Machiavellian or biblical.

“A dictionary definition of success says it’s ‘the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.’ … But dictionary definitions are like sausage casings. It all depends on what you stuff inside” (quote from page 144).

Whether you are just getting started in a new business venture, or whether you are not satisfied with the results of your current business venture, you will find invaluable strategies here to help you. This former mob boss truly does make you an offer you can’t refuse.

My Favorite Book

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple or Spotify.

“The Bible is alive, it speaks to me; it has feet, it runs after me; it has hands, it lays hold on me.” —Martin Luther

I love to read. So I read a whole lot of books every year. It’s not unusual for me to be working my way through four or five books at a time. I read the classics, poetry, history, biographies, autobiographies, devotionals, leadership training, personal development, marriage and parenting skills, and many other genres. I don’t have enough shelf space for all of the books I have!

But when people ask me my all-time favorite book, I don’t even have to hesitate. The book that is in a category all by itself is my Bible.

I say my Bible because I have made it my own. I highlight, I underline, I star, I jot notes in the margin, I circle keywords. Sometimes I even mark all the question marks in a passage!

My study Bible is one I’ve had for over 20 years. Each time I read through my Bible I use a different color or style of highlighter. So as I look at different highlighted passages I can remember back to where I was in my life, what I was going through, the struggles I was having. Sometimes I smile when I remember what the Holy Spirit revealed to me in my Bible at that time, and how I’ve grown. Sometimes I remember the deep emotion as I see where a teardrop caused the highlighter to run, and recall the comfort my Bible brought to me.

Psalm 119 (the longest chapter in the Bible) is a poem of love to God for His Word. In 176 verses the psalmist refers to God’s Word in 172 verses. Here are just a few—

  • I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You (v. 11)
  • I rejoice in following Your statutes as one rejoices in great riches (v. 14)
  • Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in Your law (v. 18)
  • Your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors (v. 24)
  • I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free (v. 32)

If you haven’t made Bible reading a part of your daily schedule, Psalm 119 is a good place to start. Scientists tell us that you only have to do something for 21 days in a row for it to become a habit. Psalm 119 is divided into 22 sections. And each section is just eight verses long.

You can find the time to read just eight verses a day, can’t you? If you do, you will have established one of the greatest habits in your life: daily Bible reading. 

I spent a whole week writing more about my favorite Book, so check out these posts too:

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Say What?

I know that you had a very important conversation yesterday. And I also know that you are going to have an extremely important conversation again today. The question is not if you had the conversation, it’s whether or not you heard the conversation clearly?

The most important conversation you will have today is the ongoing conversation you will have all day long with yourself.

But are you clearly listening to what you are saying to yourself?

I was helping Betsy grade some papers from her fourth-grade students and I noticed something consistently appearing on one of her student’s papers. This student performs well academically, and Betsy says her behavior in the classroom is “angelic.” So I don’t think it’s coincidental that this young lady talks to herself positively all day long. On her papers she writes notes to herself like “You R The Best” and “I rock!”

The way you speak to yourself matters.

The way you speak to yourself determines your attitude.

The way you speak to yourself will determine how you treat others.

Jesus said it this way, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. …[And] love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:30-31).

The way you love yourself determines how you love others.

The way you speak to yourself determines your performance. Dr. James Hardy of the University of Wales says, “Athletes who talk to themselves in a positive way perform better. Thinking good thoughts isn’t enough you have to say them, either muttered or out loud.”

Some of you may be saying some really harsh things to yourself. Some of the things you say to yourself would earn someone else a smack in the mouth if they said the same thing to you.

Listen to what you are saying to yourself! Stop beating yourself up!

Maybe like Betsy’s student, you might even have to write yourself a note or two to remind yourself how valuable you are. You are one-of-a-kind—there’s never been anyone like you before, no one is like you now, and no one will duplicate you in the future.

Make sure that’s the message that’s getting through loud and clear today.

Managing “To Do” Lists

I’ll bet many of you have your “To Do” lists ready to go this week. I’ve got my list ready. But even as I was working on my list last night I knew that I probably wouldn’t be able to get everything done that I’m hoping to get done. Do you ever feel like that?

So how do you respond? Just doggedly press through no matter what? Let off the gas a little because you know it’s not all going to get done anyhow? Or just scrap the list and fly by the seat of your pants?

Here are 4 things I’ve learned (and I’m still learning) that might help you:

  • Begin the day with prayer. The Bible says that the steps of the righteous are directed by God. He knows what’s in store for you today and He can help guide you in your list-making time.
  • Know the difference between important and urgent. The urgent things always scream at you, while the important things usually stand by silently. Focus on what’s important. And here’s one key guideline: People are important.
  • Don’t try to get it all done today. I love John Maxwell’s reminder, “We overestimate what we can do in a day; we underestimate what we can do in a year.” If I only get time to read one chapter a day in a book, that’s still 365 chapters at the end of the year, and that’s quite a few books! It’s good to take a long-range view.
  • Look for the small time-wasters. If you just track one week’s time usage in 15-minute increments, you’ll be amazed to find out where a few minutes here and a few minutes there add up to a whole lot of time at the end of each week.

I’m still learning this stuff. If you have some tips or strategies that work for you, I’d love to hear them. Please share in the comment section.

Anti-Sudoku Theology

I really enjoy Sudoku. It’s a challenging game of logic, and I’m (for the most part) a logical guy. I like knowing exactly where the digits one through nine are supposed to go, using logical deduction and inference to fill in all of the squares.

If I had my choice, all of life would be this logical. Simple. Neat. Well-defined. Clear. Easy. But, much to my dismay, it’s not.

If I’m following the example and teaching of Jesus, life with Him is anything but logical. Think about some of the paradoxes Jesus Christ taught and lived—

  • To advance, be humbled.
  • To have more, give away more.
  • To possess everything, desire nothing.
  • To connect with people (social), spend time alone with God (solitude).
  • To bring people in, go out.
  • To be a leader, be a servant.
  • To fill up with God, empty yourself of yourself.
  • To come first, come last.
  • To gain wisdom, become foolish.
  • To gain strength, become weak.
  • To live, die.

A.W. Tozer wrote about a godly man: “He has accepted God’s estimate of his own life. He knows he is as weak and helpless as God has declared him to be, but paradoxically, he knows at the same time that he is in the sight of God of more importance than angels. In himself, nothing; in God, everything.”

It isn’t logical, but it’s true: God loves me. And the greatest of all paradoxes: when I was the least worthy of God’s love, that’s when Jesus came to die for my sins.

God’s love for me—the greatest of paradoxes—helps me live these paradoxes Jesus taught. And His love will help you, too.

What other biblical paradoxes have you discovered?

More Today?

I have shared before how I often wake up with a particular song on my mind. This morning it was a 1969 classic that I added to my iPod a few weeks ago: “More Today Than Yesterday” by The Spiral Starecase. (Go ahead and listen to the song while you read on.)

So as I was attempting to wake up Betsy, I sang part of the chorus to her. “I love you more today than yesterday. But not as much as tomorrow.” Which got me thinking: How do I do this?

Betsy and I have been “an item” for 8,935 days. I thought I loved her tons yesterday, so how do I love her more today than yesterday? Let me take a couple of cues from the song:

“I’ll be spending time with you”—the greater the quantity of time I spend with her the more likely I’ll have quality time with her.

“Everyday’s a new day in love with you”—love keeps no record of wrongs. If I’m holding grudges against her or beating myself up over mistakes I made, I’m keeping a record. Forgiveness is the key to wiping the slate clean so I can love her more today than yesterday.

“With each day comes a new way of loving you”—there’s a reason why the apostle Paul talks about “growing up” in the great love chapter of 1 Corinthians 13. My love should be maturing and growing up every day. So today I should be able to love Betsy in a more mature way.

“I thank the Lord for love like ours that grows ever stronger”—as my relationship with Jesus becomes more intimate I will learn how to love Betsy more today than yesterday. As C.S. Lewis put it, “When I have learned to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.”

What special relationships do you have? Do you love that earthly dearest more today than yesterday? With quality time, forgiveness, maturity, and a closer relationship with Jesus, you can truly love that special someone more today than yesterday. Give it a try!

Every day’s a new day, every time I love you.

Every way’s a new way, every time I love you!

The Not-So-Little Stuff

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.

My youngest son showed up at the dinner table one evening with a swollen left eyelid. I looked at it a little more closely and could see what looked to be a bug bite in the corner of his eye.

“No big deal,” I thought. “It’s just a mosquito bite. Happens all the time in Michigan.” (After all the mosquito is slated to become our new state bird!)

But when he woke up the next morning, his left eye was only open a slit. By the time I got him to the urgent care, his eyelid was a deep pink color and he was feeling very lethargic.

Guess what? It’s not such a little thing anymore!

Frequently I hear people saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” And I suppose to a certain extent that’s true. But typically the big stuff started off as the little stuff. Usually big problems are simply little problems that weren’t dealt with earlier.

  • Someone says, “My marriage failed last night” (big stuff). But the small warning signs had been there for months, but they weren’t taken care of.
  • Someone says, “My finances just hit rock bottom” (big stuff). But the small unnecessary purchases over time led to this moment.
  • Someone says, “I gave in to temptation” (big stuff). But the little flirting with the temptation created just the right environment for the big tumble.

Charles Simmons wrote —

“Life is made up of little things. It is very rarely that an occasion is offered for doing a great deal at once. True greatness consists in being great in the little things.”

On the flip side, rarely is a big problem presented all at one; it’s usually just the little things compounded over time.

The apostle Paul warned the church at Corinth about the little things that can blow up into the big things:

Your flip and callous arrogance in these things bothers me. You pass it off as a small thing, but it’s anything but that. Yeast, too, is a “small thing,” but it works its way through a whole batch of bread dough pretty fast. So get rid of this “yeast.” (1 Corinthians 5:6-7, The Message paraphrase)

A final thought from Paul to his protégé Timothy: “Keep a close watch on how you live” (1 Timothy 4:16 NLT). Great advice!

By the way, my son was fine after a little steroid treatment and some Benadryl, but some people never recover from their lack of attention to the little things.

Don’t let this happen to you! Watch out for the little things because you may find that they’re not so little after all!

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A Cup Of Tea

Green. Black. White. Red. Bagged. Loose. Hot. Iced. Home-brewed. Starbucks. I really enjoy all sorts of tea. Every day my morning routine includes sitting down with a nice cup of fresh tea. Not only am I sipping a cup right now (in my Life Is Good mug), but I will probably have a few more cups throughout today.

In large part because of the British Empire’s presence for so long in so many places around the world, their love for tea is still prominent in most of the world. Outside of the USA the favorite household social drink is tea.

Big deal, right? For me, it is. I use tea as an important reminder.

It all started with some great friends who are missionaries to Africa. Jayne, a lovely British woman, sent me some tea from the country in which they were serving. So naturally every time I brewed a cup of tea from Mozambique I thought of my friends. And prayed for them.

Now tea and prayer are inseparably intertwined—

  • Malawi tea = prayer for missionary friends in Malawi
  • Tea in a Western Michigan University mug = prayer for a Chi Alpha pastor
  • Indian tea = prayer for a dear friend who pastors in India
  • Loose tea = prayer for my cousin who serves as a missionary in an Arabic country
  • Apricot tea = prayer for my Mom & Dad who gave me this tea
  • Tangawizi tea = prayer for some other special family members
  • Chinese green tea = prayer for a family in China who tell people there about Jesus

You get the idea.

Paul wrote to his dear friends at the church in Philippi, “I thank God for you every time I think of you.” The key is to use something we do as part of our regular routine as a reminder to pray. It’s not hard. It’s not even taking time to bow your head and close your eyes.

Whenever you think of someone, pray for them. Use pictures, a piece of jewelry, a cup of tea, a bookmarker, special coffee cups, or anything else you handle every day as a reminder to pray.

Mother Teresa said, “Prayer enlarges the heart.” If you want to love others the way God loves, pray for them. If you want to love someone more deeply, pray for them more often. Prayer is one of the best habits we can develop.

Now, I must get back to my tea and my remembrances. Oh, by the way, if you have any tea recommendations, I would love to hear them!

Lessons From A Puppy

I’m learning great lessons from hanging out with my puppy Grace. Today I was observing how Grace lives in the moment—how she is fully there in whatever and wherever there is.

  • When she’s hungry, she eats.
  • When she’s full, she walks away from her dish.
  • When she’s thirsty, she drinks.
  • When she’s satisfied, she walks away from the water bowl.
  • When someone is around to play with her, she’s on full-throttle GO!
  • When she’s alone, she amuses herself.
  • When she’s tired, she takes a nap.
  • When I leave a room, she follows me.
  • When I have to go somewhere in my car, she’s right with me.
  • When I’m happy, she wags her tail.
  • When I’m upset, her tail and ears hang low.

In short, whatever there is to do, she does just that without holding anything back. And most of the time what she’s doing is based around who’s doing what around her. She’s always fully there in the moment.

I have had a quote in my files for quite some time from Dr. Richard Dobbins. I’m challenged by this thought about married love because it can easily apply to every relationship I have:

“But most of the time Christian married love comes dressed in overalls—it is practical, down-to-earth, everyday hard work. It is really thinking of the other person and doing what the other person needs and being what the other person needs when he or she needs you to be there.”

The great “love chapter” in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13) really is about being there for others … focusing on others … and then living fully in the moment for them. Check out a few verses from this chapter from The Message paraphrase:

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

I’m working on being fully there for the ones I love today. How about you?