Listen To Me

February 3, 2010 — Craig T. Owens

Have you ever been involved in high-level negotiations? The stakes are high. The potential for reward is great, but the chances of crashing-and-burning are also great. Everyone is on their A-game both mentally and emotionally. No one wants to misstep or misspeak.

Sounds like a hostage negotiator, or a government official brokering a treaty, or a business leader finalizing a multi-million dollar business deal, right?

Actually, these high-level, high-stress, high risk-or-reward negotiations happen almost every day. And you’re involved. Whenever you have a conversation with someone where you’re opening your heart to them—or they’re opening up to you—you’ve stepped into a place where wonderful or tragic things can happen.

Think about how your blood pressure rises when you hear…

  • …your spouse say, “We need to talk.”
  • …your boss intercoms you and says, “Will you come into my office.”
  • …your friend says, “This isn’t very easy for me to tell you this, but….”
  • …your coworker says, “You need to sit down for this.”

Here’s a scene from the Bible: Abraham’s beloved wife Sarah has died, and he wants to bury her somewhere special. The problem is, Abraham doesn’t own any land. So for the first time since leaving Ur, he has to negotiate the purchase of land. The Hittites know Abraham is a powerful man. They don’t want to give anything away for free, but neither do they want to anger him. Abraham is a wealthy man. He can probably pay any price for the land, but he doesn’t want to be seen as a sucker.

Let the negotiations begin. Multiple times throughout their conversation a phrase is repeated:

“Listen to me.”

In the Hebrew language, there is nothing unique or noteworthy about these words. But the fact that the phrase is repeated so frequently in so few verses is interesting. In fact, this phrase is only used one other time in all of Genesis.

Both parties are saying, “I realize that one misspoken word here could be hurtful. This is a difficult, touchy subject, but I want it to be a win-win. So don’t just listen to my words, hear my heart.”

Here’s my takeaway for my emotionally-charged conversations:

  1. Take a deep breath and ask God for help.
  2. Go slowly.
  3. Make sure I’m in the right place emotionally to listen to them.
  4. Listen to the other person’s heart, not just their words.
  5. Be committed to finding a win-win.
  6. Go slowly.

Keep this in mind the next time you hear one of those blood-pressure-elevating opening phrases. When you hear those phrases, you have just entered into high-level negotiations. You can successfully broker a win-win for everyone if you’ll just hear their heart.

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Hurrying To Wait

January 28, 2010 — Craig T. Owens

In Genesis 18 God comes to visit Abraham. It’s interesting to note how Abraham responds. In a word: quickly.

  • He hurried from where he was sitting to meet God.
  • He hurried back to his wife Sarah and said, “Quick, make some bread for our Guest.”
  • He ran to his herd to pick out a calf to serve.
  • His servant then hurried to prepare the calf.

Abraham hurried to get into God’s presence.

However, once he’s there everything slows down.

  • He stood nearby while the Lord and His angels ate the food.
  • He walked with God as He continued toward Sodom.

Abraham WASN’T quick to leave God’s presence.

At this point, the Bible gives us an important word: Then. After Abraham hurried to get into God’s presence and continued to linger there, THEN God took Abraham into His counsel.

Why is it that my natural tendency is to do just the opposite?

  • I delay going into God’s presence because I try to figure things out on my own.
  • Once I finally go into His presence, I share my need with Him and then hurry along my way.

Abraham was called God’s friend. Maybe because he hurried into God’s presence, and then stayed right there.

Today I’m going to try it Abraham’s way.

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Square One

January 27, 2010 — Craig T. Owens

One of my all-time favorite movies is The Princess Bride. There is a scene about halfway through the movie where Inigo and Fezzik are reunited:

[Scene: Outside a hut. Inigo is sitting, nursing a bottle]

Inigo:      I am waiting for you, Vizzini. You told me to go back to the beginning. So I have. This is where I am, and this is where I will stay. I will no be moved.

Assistant Brute:    Ho there!

Inigo:      I do not budge. Keep your “Ho there.”

Assistant Brute:     But the prince gave orders.

Inigo:      So did Vizzini. When the job went wrong he went back to the beginning. Well, this is where we got the job, so it’s the beginning. And I am staying till Vizzini come.

Even though Inigo was slightly the worse for alcohol, he gives some sage advice. When we run into problems—when we get off track—it’s good to go back to the beginning.

After his ill-advised trip to Egypt, Abraham returns to square one. He goes back to the last place he heard from God.

He moved on from the Negev, camping along the way, to Bethel, the place he had first set up his tent between Bethel and Ai and built his first altar. Abram prayed there to God. (Genesis 13:3-4)

When I seem to be on the wrong path, I must go back to the place I last heard from God. Perhaps it’s significant where Abraham’s tent and altar were set up. Between two cities:

  • Ai which means “heap of ruins.” It comes from a root word meaning “bend, twist, distort.”
  • Bethel which is made up of two words beth (house) + El (God) = house of God.

This is my life: always between two options. I can have a distorted/twisted view that leads to a heap of ruins, or I can live where God dwells.

I can have my way or God’s way.

I can have blessing or ruin.

When I find what I’m doing is a mess, it’s time to go back to the beginning—to go back to square one—to go back to the last place I heard from God.

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Too Good To Be True

January 25, 2010 — Craig T. Owens

You know the old cliché: If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Yet time after time we buy into the hype…

  • “I get all of this for free!”
  • “I’ll be able to make this big score and it’s gonna cost me next to nothing.”
  • “He agreed to help me out with this just because he likes me. He’s not charging me a dime.”
  • “I think they really want to be my friend.”

It never works out that way, does it? Because if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Do you know when those with these great offers show up? Right after you’ve done something well. Like Abraham in the Bible when he had just won a dramatic victory.

Here’s what happened. The bad guys swept in, defeated the good guys, and in carrying off the loot from their victory, they took Abraham’s nephew Lot with them. Abraham called out his special forces team and conducted a surprise night raid on the bad guys’ lair. He not only rescued Lot but all of the other captives too.

Abraham comes back loaded with everything he’s just recovered, and the King of Sodom comes out to meet him. This king is a big shot. It would be a career-advancing move to get in good with him. The King of Sodom says to Abraham, “Great work! Just let me have all the hostages, but you can keep all of the other loot. Even the stuff that was mine that the bad guys stole, I’m going to let you keep it.”

But Abraham knew that if it sounded too good to be true, it probably was.

Abraham wisely answered, “I’m God’s man. I’ve given Him my word: I will accept nothing that belongs to you, not even a thread or the thong of a sandal so that you will never be able to say, ‘I made Abram rich.’”

Smart move. Those things that seem to be free always come with strings attached. How much better to simply trust God for everything. So when God makes you successful, no one else gets the credit but Him.

Here’s the simple decision: Trust God or rely on “freebies” from men. Who are you going to trust?

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Insert Your Name Here

January 20, 2010 — Craig T. Owens

I don’t think anyone would mind having his or her name inserted in any of the following compliments:

  • ___________ is a righteous person.
  • ___________ is blameless before God.
  • God looks favorably on ___________.
  • ___________ walks with God.

Pretty nice pedigree, huh?

This is the description of Noah in the Bible. I especially love the phrase “walks with God.” It’s only used of two people in the Bible: Noah and Enoch. But it’s even more encouraging to me when I read it about Noah’s life.

Noah is the first in Adam’s family line to be born after Adam died. That’s significant because all of his ancestors (including Enoch) would have been able to get a first-hand account from Adam himself about what it was like to be in the Garden of Eden. All of Noah’s ancestors could have heard right from Adam’s mouth what it was like to visit with God personally each evening, to talk to Him face-to-face. And they could have heard firsthand how devastatingly painful it was to lose that intimate fellowship because of sin.

Since Noah was the first person in this family tree to hear about this secondhand, he’s the first person to walk with God by faith. Which is the exact same way we walk with God today:

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1).

You too can insert your name in this blank: “___________ walks with God.”

How do you do this? Pray this:

“God, I want to walk with You. I know it’s impossible to please You except by faith. I want to get closer to You. So I believe that You exist and that You care enough to respond to me when I seek You and love You with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength.”

Let’s enourage one another to walk in this way every single day.

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Unintended Consequences

January 19, 2010 — Craig T. Owens

Sometimes even with the best of intentions, our actions can create a series of events that we never anticipated. What’s worse, like a row of neatly arranged dominos, once the first one has been knocked over, it’s hard to stop the tumble of the other dominos.

Case in point: Abram (or Abraham, as he would come to be known later).

He followed God’s call to leave his homeland of Ur and travel to Canaan—the Promised Land. He came to Canaan as a fairly wealthy man, having built quite a portfolio in his home country. After he arrived, he built a couple of altars to God and things appeared to be going well.

Until the famine. [you can read the story for yourself here]

Then without asking God, Abram left Canaan and traveled to Egypt. This was the first domino to be knocked down. The rest that fell were the unintended consequences of this single decision.

Abram lied to the Egyptians about his wife, telling them that she was his sister. As a result, she was taken into Pharaoh’s harem. Did Pharaoh sleep with her? The Bible doesn’t say for sure. Was Sarai mad at Abram? The Bible doesn’t answer this one either, but I think we all know the answer to this question!

Abram got richer. Because Pharaoh was so happy with Sarai, Pharaoh gave him sheep and cattle, donkeys and camels, and servants.

But this newly acquired wealth caused yet another domino to fall.

Abram and his nephew Lot began to have arguments about their large herds of animals. To settle their dispute, they split up.

Another domino fell.

Lot, without Abram’s mentorship, moved near Sodom. He got caught up in its sinful lifestyle and lost everything he owned. All he had left were two daughters, who were wicked, manipulative young ladies.

And yet another domino.

Abram and Sarai couldn’t have children. So Sarai suggested that Abram sleep with Hagar, their Egyptian maid. Would Sarai have suggested this if Abram hadn’t abandoned her to Pharaoh? If they hadn’t gone to Egypt, Hagar wouldn’t even have been there!

And the final domino.

Hagar did get pregnant. But her son Ishmael became the father of the Arabic people. A race of people that is openly hostile to the Jewish people to this day.

So many unintended consequences. So many dominos knocked down because of just one decision.

I’m grateful that God made something good out of this, but what incredible pain and hardship exist to this day because of one decision 4000 years ago.

My takeaway: I need to lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all my heart and mind and do not rely on my own insight or understanding.

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“And Then He Died…”

January 15, 2010 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.

That’s the end of his life. All those years living and that’s all his obituary says: “and then he died.”

Genesis 5 is the lineage of Adam. A mind-numbing list of names and years scroll by:

  • Adam lived 930 years, and then he died.
  • His son Seth lived 912 years, and then he died.
  • His son Enosh lived 905 years, and then he died.
  • His son Kenan lived 910 years, and then he died.
  • His son Mahalalel lived 895 years, and then he died.
  • His son Jared lived 962 years, and then he died.
  • And on and on and on….

For each man we hear the name of one of his sons and how long he lived, but nothing more. Like a modern-day tombstone:

Birth Date─Death Date

The dash between the dates covers childhood, schooling, marriage, inventions, parenthood, and so many other things. But years later, more and more of the details are forgotten and only the dash remains to represent the sum total of the deceased’s life.

And then comes Enoch.

All of the same details are there. Well, except for the “and then he died” epitaph. But actually, there’s so much more. Instead of a death, there’s a phrase that appears only for him: “Enoch walked with God.” The phrase literally means “to be continually conversant.”

Because Enoch lived this way, he didn’t really die. Instead, “He was no more.” He wasn’t here any longer because he is still walking with God. What an incredible blessing to his future generations! He was a blessing while he was alive, and he continues to be a blessing after he is no more.

Enoch’s tombstone reads differently from everyone else. The birth date is there, the dash is there, but instead of “and then he died” we read “he was no more.”

It’s the way I would want my tombstone to read:

Craig T. Owens

1966─He walked with God─He was no more (because he is still walking with God)

In The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey suggests living my life today consistent with what I would like said at my own funeral. It starts with a decision: “Today I will be continually conversant with God.” Then at my funeral, they can say of me, like the Bible says of Enoch: “He didn’t die. He’s just not here any longer. He is walking with God in heaven, just like he walked with Him here on earth.”

What do you want said about your dash?

Do you want your life to simply end with “and then he died”? Do you want something more?

Make your dash a continual conversation, a daily walk with God, and all of your future generations won’t see just a dash, they’ll remember “He is no more. He walked with God, and he is still walking with God!”

Start walking today!

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Not Mine But God’s

January 11, 2010 — Craig T. Owens

Have you ever wondered how Cain and Abel could end up so night-and-day different from each other? Think about it:

  • Same parents
  • Same home
  • No peer pressure
  • No real outside influences

Yet Cain became a farmer and the first murderer, and Abel became a shepherd and the first murder victim.

Yes, I know personality and temperament come into it. But so does the involvement of their parents. It’s interesting that Eve (not Adam) names their boys. There seems to be a little bit of “father absenteeism” that is involved here, but more telling is the commentary that Eve makes in naming her boys.

With Cain, she said, “I have gotten a man from the Lord.” Digging a little deeper in the Hebrew language, Cain means “a possession.” So Eve said, “This is mine. I did it.”

When Abel is born, there is no commentary. However, his name means “breath.” Something only God can give.

See the difference:

Cain = mine!

Abel = God’s!

As a result, Cain grew up wanting to do things to please himself, and Abel only wanted to please God.

As a parent, I always have to remember that my children are God’s. He loaned them to me to raise them up to serve and love Him. They are not mine, they are His.

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him. (Psalm 127:3)

Keep that in mind, Moms and Dads, when you’re interacting with God’s gifts and rewards.

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Naked Before God

January 7, 2010 — Craig T. Owens

Imagine: You and your wife are the only people on the face of the earth. No bills, no employer, no economic downturn, no kids, no school, no traffic. Just you and God. That was Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The Bible gives this commentary, “Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.”

Nothing to hide from God. Nothing to hide from each other. A perfect relationship with God. A perfect relationship with each other.

Then the temptation, and the bite of the forbidden fruit. Sin enters. Now, something changes when God comes to talk with His favorite couple: “Then the man and his wife heard the sound of God as He was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from God among the trees.”

“Why are you hiding from Me?” God asks.

“Uh,” Adam stammers, “because we’re naked.”

Sin made mankind uncomfortable in God’s presence. Sin made them want to hide from God. They knew He was there, but they tried to pretend He wasn’t. This is why I think many of us don’t come into God’s presence in prayer: we’re uncomfortable because of our sin.

We should not run away from God, instead, we should run to Him. “If we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness” (1 John 1:9).

What happens when we’re forgiven? We’re re-clothed. God Himself clothes us. He made clothes for Adam and Eve, and He clothes us, too, in the righteous robes of Jesus. “And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes” (Galatians 3:27).

And when we’re clothed in Christ, we no longer have to hide from God, nor feel uncomfortable in His presence. Instead, we can “come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most” (see Ephesians 3:12 and Hebrews 4:16).

Perhaps the reason we don’t spend enough time in prayer is that we feel self-conscious, sinful, uncomfortable… naked.

You don’t have to be naked. You can be clothed in Christ. You can enter into God’s presence without shame and find the mercy and grace and help that you need.

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The Least-Attended Church Service…

January 6, 2010 — Craig T. Owens

…and quite possibly my least-popular blog post.

Just to give you a chance to bail out right now: (1) This blog post is about prayer, and (2) I’m going to offend you.

In every church I’ve ever attended or been associated with, the least-attended gathering is the prayer meeting. Guaranteed. When the pastor says, “We’re going to gather just to prayer,” people stay away. Want to hear something else painful? Jim Cymbala nailed it in Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire:

“You can tell how popular a church is by who comes on Sunday morning. You can tell how popular the pastor or evangelist is by who comes on Sunday night. You can tell how popular Jesus is by who comes to the prayer meeting.”

Jesus knew this, too. When He had a prayer meeting with His followers, they couldn’t even stay awake!

Here are four reasons why I think this is true:

1.  Prayer has no entertainment value. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we go to church to be entertained, but there is a certain element of that in a typical church service: we listen to good music, laugh at a humorous video, engage with an effective sermon. We’re largely passive, just absorbing what’s going on.

2.  Prayer is hard work. We’re doing spiritual battle, and everything in our flesh is going to fight against this. Prayer requires physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy. It’s draining work.

3.  We want immediate visible results. In our microwave, cellular phone, on-the-go world, we want everything faster and faster. Something is happening when we pray, but we may not see the results of our prayers immediately.

4.  Prayer is naked communication. We’re talking to the All-Knowing Creator of the Universe. There is a certain level of discomfort when we come into God’s presence. Adam and Eve hid when they knew their sins would be seen by God, and we have a tendency to avoid God’s presence for the same reason.

Perhaps this is why Jesus said if just two of us come together in prayer He would be right there with us. I think Jesus knew that prayer meetings wouldn’t attract the large crowds of a concert or even a Sunday morning church service. So if just two people got together who wanted to do the hard work of praying, He would be right there.

If your church, like ours, is kicking off this new year with a time of prayer, don’t become discouraged by the lack of attendance. Keep on praying—Jesus is right there with you.

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