Marriage Math

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Martin Luther said:

“There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.”

Unfortunately our culture has watered-down and diminished the value of marriage. Far too often marriage is seen as something which diminishes life, instead of enhancing it.

Perhaps this is because we have been viewing marriage with the wrong math.

Marriage is NOT ½ + ½ = 1

That makes sense mathematically, but it’s inaccurate. God didn’t create us a half-people. God created us whole and complete. So our spouse is not our better half, he/she is our better whole.

Marriage is NOT 1 + 1 = 2

Again, this makes sense mathematically, but it is not biblical. Why? Because 2 is divisible, and the Bible makes it clear that a man and woman who are married are one flesh.

Marriage IS 1 X 1 = 1

Not only does this work mathematically, but biblically too. God sees marriage as one whole man and one whole woman coming together to make one whole marriage.

Not coincidentally, X (chi) is the first Greek letter of the name Christ. When Christ is at the center of a marriage, and when the husband and wife are more in love with Him than they are with their spouse, then a wholeness exists in the marriage.

1 X 1 = 1 is the type of marriage that glorifies God.

1 X 1 =1 is the type of marriage that is so lovely, friendly, and charming.

If you are single, keep yourself pure so you can bring your “oneness” as a gift to your future spouse. If you are married, keep the X—Jesus Christ—at the center of your marriage.

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Smile Away

Sometimes the shortest distance between two people is a simple smile.

I love a scene in The Bourne Identity where Jason and Marie are hatching this highly-detailed plan to get an invoice from a hotel. Marie walks into the hotel lobby to execute their well-designed scheme, and before spy/assassin Jason Bourne has time to walk her through it, Marie is back outside. “What happened? What went wrong?” Jason asks. Marie simply replies, “The man at the desk was smiling at me, so I thought I would simply ask him for the invoice.”

When I was a kid we used to sing a little ditty in Sunday School that went like this —

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.
If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.
If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it,
If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.

Here’s what the Bible says about smiling faces:

Smiling faces make you happy. (Proverbs 15:30)

What a relief to see your friendly smile. It is like seeing the face of God! (Genesis 33:10)

When I smiled at them, they could hardly believe it; their faces lit up, their troubles took wing! (Job 29:24)

Don’t just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as Christ’s servants doing what God wants you to do. And work with a smile on your face. (Ephesians 6:6)

Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God—soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He’s my God. (Psalm 42:5)

George Eliot said, “Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.”

So if people feel miles away from you, perhaps they’re just a SMILE AWAY.

Try it. Smile! You’ll feel better and others will feel better about you too.

Illogical But True

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

To the natural, analytical, rational mind the following formulas are illogical:

90% > 100%

6 > 7

1 > 1

They may look illogical, but with God, they are indisputably true.

Tithing on your income (giving 10% to God) makes the rest of your money go further (Malachi 3:8-11); so 90% > 100%.

Taking a Sabbath break from your work makes the rest of your workdays more effective (Exodus 20:8-11); so 6 > 7. For example, Chick-fil-A closes all of their stores on Sunday for the employees to take a Sabbath, and founder Truett Cathy frequently mentions how God continues to bless this decision.

Entering into marriage with another Christ-follower allows your life to be more productive together than either of you could be on your own (Genesis 2:24); so 1 > 1.

Stop looking at what you have (or don’t have), and start looking at what God has. His ways may seem to defy conventional wisdom, but He’s an unprecedented God. His promises are true. All you have to do is trust His ways and obey.

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Sin

I know in politically correct circles it’s not very chic to talk about sin. After all, we’re not supposed to impose our personal values on someone else, right?

Well, I do believe in right and wrong, and the wrong is called sin. So if you are offended by me calling something sin, it would be best for you to stop reading now.

Are you still with me? Then read this: satan…incited David to sin… (1 Chronicles 21:1).

Incited means this wasn’t a straight-up fight. Sin seldom makes a bold, in-your-face attack. Sin isn’t really an ambush. It’s sort of a whispering campaign.

  • Sin is an appeal to ego
  • Sin is a half-truth
  • Sin is an attempt to be subtle
  • Sin is so innocent looking

The Bible says satan lurks like a lion in the underbrush (1 Peter 5:8).

He waits for the perfect opportunity to strike (Luke 4:13).

satan is sneaky (Genesis 3:1).

He lies (John 8:44).

He distorts the truth (Luke 4:9-11).

That’s why I cannot give sin an inch. I have to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), and pull everything into the light of The Truth (John 3:20-21).

[Check out all of these verses by clicking here]

It’s not usually the blatant sin that brings down great men and women, but the subtle. So stay on your guard. Always!

Thursdays With Oswald—Why Should I Do What I Ought To Do?

This is a weekly series with things I’m reading and pondering from Oswald Chambers. You can read the original seed thought here, or type “Thursdays With Oswald” in the search box to read more entries.

Why Should I Do What I Ought To Do?

      We imagine that if we obey authority we limit ourselves, whereas obedience to authority is not a limitation but a source of power; by obeying we are more. Naturally we are built to command, not to obey; man was originally constituted by God to have dominion—“And God said, Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness: and let them have dominion…” (Genesis 1:26 ); consequently there is the natural desire to want to explain things, because everything we can explain we can command. Spiritually, we are built not to command, but to obey. Always beware of the tendency to want to have things explained; you may take it as an invariable law that when you demand an explanation in connection with a moral problem it means you are evading obedience.

From Biblical Ethics

“God, if You will just tell me why I have to do this, then I’ll do it” doesn’t work. I simply must trust and obey.

God’s Math

I’m preparing for a wedding this weekend, and I love God’s math that shows up in the marriage relationship. Very simply it looks like this:

1 + 1 = 1

One man + One woman = One marriage.

God said, “Let the husband and wife be joined together. And the two will become one flesh.”

A husband can have his oneness—his uniqueness—enhanced by his wife. So too can a wife have her oneness—her uniqueness—beautified by her husband.

This is why God is for healthy marriages: It gives us a better picture of the oneness that we can have with Jesus Christ. He brings out the oneness—the uniqueness—in all of His followers.

I love it!

Guard These Bones

Here’s an odd one. The Israelites had been slaves in Egypt for a long, long time. God does these miraculous things, culminating in the death of every firstborn child in Egypt who’s not in a house covered by lamb’s blood. Pharaoh has finally had enough, “Quick!” he shouts, “Get out of here now! Leave this country!”

So the Israelites pack up as quickly as they can to leave before Pharaoh changes his mind. And then this odd statement appears, “Moses took the bones of Joseph with him.”

Seriously? Bones? We’re kinda in a rush here!

Well, they’re not just any bones. It’s not like they’re just loose bones lying around. They’re in a mummy case.

Yeah, and…?

They were the bones of Joseph. The one who foresaw the coming famine. The one whom Pharaoh put as second-in-command to make preparations for the famine. The one who saved the Israelites from starvation. That Joseph. Just before he died he made his family take an oath that when they left Egypt, they would take his bones with them (Genesis 50:25-26).

They took the oath. And for the next 430 years someone had to watch over the bones. Through about twelve generations, from father to son, from son to grandson, from grandson to great-grandson, the oath was passed: “Guard these bones. When we leave, the bones go with us.”

So when they left Egypt, Moses took the bones with him. But then the Israelites sinned and had to wander in the wilderness for another 40 years. Another whole generation died, and still the oath was passed: “Guard these bones.”

The Israelites finally re-entered their home land, but had to defeat their enemies that had taken possession of their land while they were in Egypt. For about 30 years the Israelites fought. And still the oath was passed: “Guard these bones.”

Finally as a postscript to Joshua’s account we see Joseph’s bones being buried in Shechem, nearly 500 years after Joseph died!

For 500 years they kept the oath; they guarded the bones.

Do you realize that the way you are living today could be the answer to a 500-year-old prayer? Just like the Israelites who kept their eyes on God, you and I must live today with a purpose and with a mission. When we live godly lives, we are guarding the bones of prayers that were prayed, the bones of petitions that were made, the bones of oaths that were requested and honored.

What are you doing today to guard the bones of your ancestor’s prayers?

Knowing What To Look For

On Sunday afternoon Betsy left our house to meet with our KidZone team. She had only been gone for a few minutes when she called me. “I just had to pull over to the side of the road,” she said. “It sounds like something is dragging underneath my van.”

I quickly threw my coat on and drove to meet her. Sure enough, as I pulled up behind her van I could see something hanging down. I laid down next to the van to look underneath and discovered that the band which holds up the gas tank was missing a bolt. I’m not a mechanic, but even I know that’s not a good thing!

I called a friend at church who’s got a lot of hands-on experience with cars. He said, “I’ll be right there.” He arrived quickly with a metal coat hanger, which he used to take the place of the missing bolt.

We turned around to head back to my house. Jeff was in front of me and had only driven about 150 feet when he jammed on his brakes, pulled to the side of the road, and leaped out of his car. I then watched as he ran across the road, bent down, and picked up the missing bolt!

When we got back to my house I said, “You must have the eye of an eagle to spot a rusty bolt on wet pavement.”

“No,” he said, “I just knew what to look for.”

In Genesis 45, Joseph reveals himself to his brothers. Twice he tells them, “Don’t be afraid. God sent me here.”

“Wait a minute,” you might protest, “God sent him to Egypt?! I thought his brothers sold him as a slave. God put Joseph in the position as prime minister of Egypt?! I thought his special dream-interpreting skills did that.”

Joseph went from a prince in Jacob’s family, to a slave in Egypt, to comptroller of Potiphar’s affairs, to a falsely-accused rapist, to a prisoner, to a prison trustee, to a forgotten man, to Pharaoh’s dream interpreter, to Egypt’s prime minister.

Joseph knew what to look for along the way. He knew God had given him a direction for his life, so he was constantly looking for it.

Prayer does this for me, too. I may know verses like

  • I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
  • Before I was born, God knew me.
  • All things are working together for good for me because I love God and called me for a purpose.
  • I should rejoice in my trials because God is developing something in me.

but it’s only when I’m praying these verses that the Holy Spirit trains my eyes to know what to look for.

God was placing Joseph and preparing Joseph to be just where he needed to be, at just the right time, and with just the right skills.

God is doing something with me: He’s preparing me and placing me in His perfect timing to fulfill His perfect plan. When it seems my life has become derailed, I need to know what to look for. Prayer does this: Prayer trains my heart and my mind and my eyes to know what to look for.

I can also assuredly tell you that God is doing something with YOU: He’s preparing YOU and placing YOU in His perfect timing to fulfill His perfect plan. Prayer will help you know what to look for too.

Flight Is Your Best Fight

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

He was ripped and he was handsome. She was lonely and she was hungry. He followed God and she gave lip-service to the numerous gods of Egypt. He was Joseph and she was Potiphar’s wife. He was in charge of all of Potiphar’s household and she was attracted to that power.

A pretty heady place for Joseph to be. Think about it, guys, how would you feel? You’re good looking, successful, and the object of some babe’s desire. What are you going to do with all of that?

Do you know what Joseph did? He ignored her to the point of almost being rude:

And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her.

Or even be with her is a rude phrase. It means she was doing everything she could think of to bring him to her, and he was thwarting her at every turn:

  • She walked into a room; he walked out.
  • She planned her path to run into him; he went out of his way to change his route.
  • She smiled; he kept a straight-faced.
  • She flirted; he ignored.
  • She was persistent; he was consistent.

There are many temptations the Bible tells us to fight. But there are two that we’re advised to flee: idolatry and sexual immorality.

Joseph chose fleeing over fighting.

Solomon said, “When you know what that sort of woman is up to, don’t even walk down her street.”

Talk to Wisdom as to a sister. Treat Insight as your companion. They’ll be with you to fend off the Temptress—that smooth-talking, honey-tongued Seductress.

Jesus said, “Don’t even entertain any thoughts about that kind of woman.”

From this type of temptation, your best fight is flight.

Guys, be like Joseph: stay away, take a different path, don’t smile at the flirty jokes, don’t hang out at her desk, don’t treat her politely. RUN AWAY.

Flight is your best fight against sexual temptation.

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Life’s Hardest Work

I’ve been reading through the life of Joseph in the Bible. If anyone had a lot to forgive, it was Joseph:

  • Sold out by his own brothers
  • Falsely accused and imprisoned
  • Forgotten in prison
  • Waiting years and years for God’s promise

Yet, he forgave so fully and so freely. Forgiveness isn’t easy. In fact, it may be one of the hardest things to do.

Here are a few quotes I’m mulling about forgiveness:

“We all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it.” —C.S. Lewis

“For we find that the work of forgiveness has to be done over and over again. We forgive, we mortify our resentment; a week later some chain of thought carries us back to the original offense and we discover the old resentment blazing away as if nothing had been done about it at all. We need to forgive our brother seventy times seven not only for 490 offenses but for one offense.” —C.S. Lewis

“The glory of Christianity is to conquer by forgiveness.” —William Blake

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” —Mahatma Gandhi

“Forgiveness is love’s toughest work.” —Lewis Smedes

It is hard work, but the results are so worth it. Don’t let your life be controlled by someone who wronged you in the past. Forgive them and free yourself.