Others First

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I have a friend who has a photo album on Facebook called “Me.” The description says, “Sometimes it is just all about me.” And, sure enough, all of the pictures in that album are just her. I know her well enough to know that this is tongue-in-cheek, because she is not a self-absorbed prima donna.

Sadly, some Christian leaders exhibit the It’s-All-About-Me attitude. This really irks me, especially because we see the exact opposite characteristic in Jesus.

Let me key in on just one example from His public ministry. John the baptizer has just been martyred by King Herod. John was Jesus’ cousin. I’m not sure if you’ve ever had a loved one martyred or even murdered, but I’m sure we’ve all lost a loved one at some point. It might be a little easier to take if we saw it coming, but the sudden deaths always jar us the most. We have to have time to grieve our loss.

Jesus had all of the same emotional responses that you and I have, and He wanted some time away to grieve. He got into a boat with His disciples and headed to a remote place on the other side of the lake. Looking for a little time alone to grieve the death of His cousin, Jesus was met by a huge crowd. He would have been perfectly justified in saying, “Not today.” Or even in saying, “I’m going to let My disciples pray with you today.” Instead, Jesus put the needs of others first.

  • Jesus healed all who were sick
  • He taught them
  • Then He provided food for the nearly 10,000 people who were there
  • After the meal, Jesus sent His disciples (who also needed some grieving time) back across the lake without Him
  • Jesus stayed behind and dismissed the entire crowd. I sort of imagine Him hugging people, shaking hands, and continuing to listen to the questions and concerns of everyone

It was only after this that Jesus went up into the hills to spend some time alone in prayer.

Yes, leaders have to take care of themselves and their people. But good leaders take care of others first.

I unpack this idea in even great detail in my book Shepherd Leadership. If you want to be used as a leader, you must allow the Holy Spirit to cultivate this others-first attitude in you.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

Shop With A Purpose

Why do you go shopping?

Just for fun?

As a stress-buster?

For real needs?

Where do you go shopping?

Whichever store is closest?

The one with the best prices?

     The one with the most desirable styles?

How about shopping somewhere that really makes a difference?

Betsy and I were wandering around Rockford, MI, last weekend and stumbled upon an incredible store called The W.A.R. Chest Boutique. W.A.R. stands for Women At Risk. (Please read more about the mission of W.A.R. on their website.)

In a nutshell, W.A.R. sells items made by women who have been rescued from slavery or other oppressive conditions. These women have been taught a skill to make jewelry or clothing or other one-of-a-kind items for your home. And here’s the great part: 90% of the proceeds go back to the women who made the items! Yes, 90 percent!

You can get involved by:

  • Educating yourself on the plight of at-risk women around the world.
  • Shopping at the two W.A.R. boutique locations in West Michigan.
  • Shopping W.A.R.’s items online.
  • Hosting a W.A.R. party in your home.
  • Praying for these women, and for organizations that are helping them.

Don’t just shop. Shop with a purpose.

Never walk away from someone who deserves help; your hand is God’s hand for that person. (Proverbs 3:27)

Obey─Remember─Teach

I see this pattern of instruction repeated throughout the Bible, but especially as the Israelites are getting ready to enter the Promised Land:

  • Obey God’s commands
  • Remember what He has done for you
  • Teach His commands to your children

When Jesus was asked which commandment was the greatest, He quoted a passage from Deuteronomy, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” And He added, “And love your neighbor as yourself.” These, Jesus said, were the fulfillment of all the law.

  • Love God
  • Love yourself
  • Love your neighbor

This Great Commandment corresponds with this pattern of obey-remember-teach.

  • I obey God because I love Him.
  • When I remember what He has done for me, I can fully appreciate my own value in His eyes.
  • I teach others because I love them and want them to experience the same blessings from God that I have experienced.

This is what I need to be constantly evaluating:

  • Am I obeying God out of fear of what may happen, or out of love for Him?
  • Am I finding ways to continually be reminded of His blessings? Do I realize how valuable I am to Him?
  • Am I expressing true love to others by passing on what I am learning?

Obey [love God] … Remember [love myself] … Teach [love others].

What a great way to live!

(Red) & Convoy Of Hope

I love to see when individuals and businesses and organizations come together to address a pressing need. Sometimes we see it in short bursts (like tsunami or earthquake response), but once the tragedy is no longer in the headlines, people quickly forget. But the need remains.

(Red) is an ongoing project addressing the huge need of AIDS in Africa.

Convoy of Hope not only responds immediately to disasters but stays in place for the long haul to make sure that infrastructures and displaced people are reestablished.

I encourage you to buy (Red) products, follow (Red) on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and on their website.

You can do with same with COH: follow them on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and on their website.

Here’s a great (Red) video:

Christians, we need to especially be people who stay informed and get involved.

The Person You Love The Least

Quick… think of the person that you love the least.

Get a good mental picture of him/her.

Got it?

What sort of emotions come to mind as you see his/her face? Are you anxious to give them a bear hug? Or maybe it’s more like a tight hug right around their neck? Do you want to hang out with them at Starbucks? If you saw them stranded on the side of the road, would you stop to help?

Now, with the image of that person still clearly in mind, slowly read this quote:

“I really only love God as much as I love the person I love the least.” —Dorothy Day

Ouch!

I’m really trying to work on this. Are you willing to try too?

BOGOF

Sometimes to get a point across, the only thing you can do is create a new word. Does anyone remember Rich Hall’s list of sniglets on Saturday Night Live? A list of 20 sniglets is here.

This morning we talked about the Parable of the Talents, where the servants were expected to do something with the talents God had given them. Then Jesus talks about the end of time judgment where we are divided into those who did something for God by addressing human needs, and those who ignored the human needs around them.

How do we remember this? How do we apply it to everyday life?

Then it hit me: we all eat; in fact, most of us eat every day. In order to eat, many of us go to the grocery store. And to help stretch the food budget, we often use coupons. When we get one of those buy-one-get-one-free coupons (a BOGOF), what do we do with the free one? Do we consume it ourselves, or could we give it away? Wouldn’t giving away the free one honor God by helping feed the hungry?

So we created a word—BOGOF—and turned it into a refrigerator magnet. We’re going to do our best to build into our daily lives the habit of loving others by addressing their practical needs.

Why don’t you try it yourself? Maybe you can create your own word too! If you do, please be sure to share it in the comments below.

It’s The Little Things

Valentine’s Day on Sunday—that just seems to fit! What a great day to love God and love others.

Betsy and I had a small gift for everyone this morning. A homemade cookie to say, “We love you.”

I’m wondering why we have to wait for “special” days to express our love. Isn’t that something we could do EVERY day?

Hmmm, year-round Valentines? I like it!

Satisfied Service

I started a conversation last week about being a servant (you can catch up here).

Serving should be a two-way street. Contrary to the way that some people look at servanthood, being a servant is not the same thing as being a doormat. Consider two key verses:

  • Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:4)
  • Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)

We should look equally to others’ needs as well as our own needs. Zig Ziglar says it this way, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.”

This can be manipulation if you’re simply looking to someone else’s interests as a form of flattery or as a quid pro quo. But if you are truly serving—if you truly have the other person’s best interests in mind—if you are willing to submit to them out of reverence for Christ, serving can be liberating.

Last week Rick Warren tweeted, “The more self-centered I am, the more unsatisfied I’ll be.” I retweeted with this addition, “So the more I serve, the more satisfied I’ll be.” I believe that.

Try it for yourself—it works!

Loving Servanthood

Over the past couple of days I’ve been thinking a lot about something: What does it mean to serve? Or more specifically, what does God say about how we should serve?

The typical image that comes to mind when someone says “servant” is a person of lower status—someone who is at the lower end of the organizational chart, someone who is expected to do more with less, someone who doesn’t have many opportunities for advancement (or even a day off), or maybe someone who is expected to be tuned into everyone else’s needs but seldom has his own needs met.

Is being a servant the same thing as being a doormat?

Consider Jesus:

He now showed them the full extent of His love…. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under His power, and that He had come from God and was returning to God; so He got up from the meal, took off His outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around His waist. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash His disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around Him.

Jesus was the most important person in the room: Jesus KNEW that the Father had put all things under His power. He was also the most love-filled person in the room. What did He do with all of His love and power? He served others.

When He finished, John writes that He returned to His place, and asked His disciples a question, “Do you understand what I just did?” Then in the only instance of Scripture where Jesus Himself said this, “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done.”

Servants are people who use the power they have to lovingly serve others.

Servants don’t serve because someone else forces them to serve. Servants serve because the love of God empowers them to serve.

Do you love your spouse enough to serve him/her? Do you love your family enough to serve them? Do you love your coworkers enough to serve them? The greater the love we have for others, the greater the empowerment to serve. Love empowers us for service.

Surprise!

Last night I went to a surprise party for a great guy in our church. His sons initiated the idea on Sunday evening, and we all went into action to figure out when, where, and (most importantly) what food we were going to bring. After just a few minutes of discussion, everything was in place, and it all came together pretty smoothly.

I think the birthday boy was genuinely surprised. And pleased. And everyone had a fun evening.

But I got to thinking, “Should it really be a surprise that we want to express our appreciation, love, and respect to someone?” Hmmm.

Perhaps today—and every day—we could find a way to “surprise” someone we love or appreciate. You know, just find an unexpected way to let someone know they’re special.

  • A surprise note/text/email
  • A surprise gift
  • A surprise hug
  • A surprise phone call
  • A surprise lunch invitation
  • A surprise cup of coffee or favorite treat

It’s amazing what happens inside people’s hearts when we go out of our way to express our love. Try it, and see what happens.

Make today a surprise day for the people you love and appreciate.