sexuality | Craig T. Owens

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Links & Quotes

July 15, 2015 — Craig T. Owens

“I try to live in such a way that if God sought one person on earth for a special assignment, He would select me.” —Jonathan Edwards

“If God has work for me to do, I cannot die.” —Henry Martyn

“There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them. It is arrogance in us to call frankness, fairness, and chivalry ‘masculine’ when we see them in a woman; it is arrogance in them to describe a man’s sensitiveness or tact or tenderness as ‘feminine.’ But also what poor, warped fragments of humanity most mere men and mere women must be to make the implications of that arrogance plausible. Marriage heals this. Jointly the two become fully human. ‘In the image of God created He them.’ Thus, by a paradox, this carnival of sexuality leads us out beyond our sexes.” —C.S. Lewis

Pornography is NOT just something private. Porn affects everyone around you: My husband has chosen porn over me for 16 years.

Not only is pornography destructive to your personal relationships, but porn fuels the human sex trafficking industry. “Ultimately, the problem isn’t human trafficking—the problem is brokenness. As finite and flawed humans, we’re broken in just about every way. And it’s because of the brokenness in ourselves and our communities that exploitation can thrive.” Read more about the deeper problems behind human trafficking.

Ever been here: I Forgave, But It Doesn’t Feel Like It? Check out what this psychologist says about the healing that can come through forgiveness.

Keep an eye for these 7 subtle symptoms of pride.

C.S. Lewis On Marriage

July 14, 2015 — Craig T. Owens

Two powerful passages on marriage from C.S. Lewis’ book Mere Christianity—

“The Christian idea of marriage is based on Christ’s words that a man and wife are to be regarded as a single organism—for that is what the words ‘one flesh’ would be in modern English. And the Christians believe that when He said this He was not expressing a sentiment but stating a fact—just as one is stating a fact when one says that a lock and its key are one mechanism, or that a violin and a bow are one musical instrument. The inventor of the human machine was telling us that its two halves, the male and the female, were made to be combined together in pairs, not simply on the sexual level, but totally combined. The monstrosity of sexual intercourse outside marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union (the sexual) from all the other kinds of union which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union. The Christian attitude does not mean that there is anything wrong about sexual pleasure, any more than about the pleasure of eating. It means that you must not isolate that pleasure and try to get it by itself, any more than you ought to try to get the pleasures of taste without swallowing and digesting, by chewing things and spitting them out again.”

“My own view is that the Churches should frankly recognize that the majority of the British [or American] people are not Christian and, therefore, cannot be expected to live Christian lives. There ought to be two distinct kinds of marriage: one governed by the State with rules enforced on all citizens, the other governed by the church with rules enforced by her on her own members. The distinction ought to be quite sharp, so that a man knows which couples are married in a Christian sense and which are not.”

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: Bible, C.S. Lewis, Christian, church, government, Jesus Christ, marriage, Mere Christianity, sexuality. Leave a Comment »

Links & Quotes—Special Supreme Court Issue

June 26, 2015 — Craig T. Owens

Our culture has become one of soundbites, and the ability to listen to an argument and counter-argument is becoming a rare quality indeed. I have seen the headlines today and I have heard the 10-second soundbites, but reading the Court’s decision in full has been most educational. Read it for yourself here. The biggest concern I have in this decision was stated by Justice Antonin Scalia in his dissent—

“Today’s decree says that my Ruler, and the Ruler of 320 million Americans coast-to-coast, is a majority of the nine lawyers on the Supreme Court. The opinion in these cases is the furthest extension in fact—and the furthest extension one can even imagine—of the Court’s claimed power to create ‘liberties’ that the Constitution and its Amendments neglect to mention. This practice of constitutional revision by an unelected committee of nine, always accompanied (as it is today) by extravagant praise of liberty, robs the People of the most important liberty they asserted in the Declaration of Independence and won in the Revolution of 1776: the freedom to govern themselves.”

And Chief Justice John Roberts in his dissenting opinion stated another truth—

“If you are among the many Americans—of whatever sexual orientation—who favor expanding same-sex marriage, by all means celebrate today’s decision. Celebrate the achievement of a desired goal. Celebrate the opportunity for a new expression of commitment to a partner. Celebrate the availability of new benefits. But do not celebrate the Constitution. It had nothing to do with it.”

Something can be legal, and still be immoral (does anyone remember slavery?). The Supreme Court of the United States can define (or re-define) legislative matters, but ultimate moral authority doesn’t belong to those nine justices; it belongs with God and His revealed will in the Bible. Despite what the Supreme Court says, God still has the final word on how marriage is defined.

Ryan T. Anderson gives us some counsel on how to respond to the Court’s decision.

John Piper’s commentary is brilliant—So-Called Same Sex Marriage: Lamenting The New Calamity.

Here is a good way for Christians to respond: “We must always remember that those who traffic in lies are image-bearers of God and objects of His love. But they are ‘defiled’—that’s Paul’s word—both in their thinking and in their values. The Lie has made such an impression on some people that it has taken over their thinking, desires, values, and choices. Such people do not need our condemnation; instead, they need patience, gentleness, and probably a series of extended conversations if they’re ever going to break out of the web of lies in which they have become ensnared. … Thus we need to make sure that our hearts are saturated with love for those we intend to confront, in order to issue a sharp rebuke and, hopefully, gain them for the faith of Christ.” —T.M. Moore

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: American history, Antonin Scalia, Christian, Constitution, homosexuality, immoral, John Piper, John Roberts, marriage, quotes, SCOTUS, sexuality, Supreme Court, T.M. Moore, United States of America. 1 Comment »

Links & Quotes

June 20, 2015 — Craig T. Owens

“Criticism serves to make you harsh, vindictive, and cruel, and leaves you with the soothing and flattering idea that you are somehow superior to others. You must constantly beware of anything that causes you to think of yourself as a superior person. Criticism is one of the ordinary activities of people, but nothing is accomplished by it.” —Oswald Chambers

“The problem of reconciling human suffering with the existence of a God who loves, is only insoluble so long as we attach a trivial meaning to the word ‘love,’ and look on things as if man were the center of them. Man is not the center. God does not exist for the sake of man. Man does not exist for his own sake. ‘Thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created’ [Revelation 4:11]. We were made not primarily that we may love God (though we were made for that too) but that God may love us, that we may become objects in which the Divine love may rest ‘well pleased.’ To ask that God’s love should be content with us as we are is to ask that God should cease to be God: because He is what He is, His love must, in the nature of things, be impeded and repelled, by certain stains in our present character, and because He already loves us He must labor to make us lovable.” —C.S. Lewis

J. Warner Wallace asks a great question in light of us considering the truthfulness of the Gospels: Can a witness be trusted if he can’t be cross-examined?

A John Hopkins psychiatrist flatly denies that sex change is possible.

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: apologetic, Bible, C.S. Lewis, criticism, God's love, Gospels, humility, J. Warner Wallace, Oswald Chambers, pain, psychology, quotes, sexuality. Leave a Comment »

More Sex Talk

May 28, 2015 — Craig T. Owens

Sex is good. God designed it to be that way! As more and more scientific studies are completed and research papers published there is one thing becoming more and more clear—God’s way of having sex (a married husband and wife) is the best way to do it.

Pornography before or during marriage is a relationship killer. [1] Porn makes you objectify the other person, seeing them as an object to be used and not a person to be loved. [2] Porn creates unrealistic expectations that your spouse cannot live up to. [3] Even so-called “soft” porn is the open door to more destructive viewing habits. [4] Porn erodes the trust that holds a relationship together. [5] Porn isolates marriage partners from each other, because they think they can find satisfaction on a screen.

Having sex before marriage actually rewires your brain, making it so much harder to bond with your spouse after you say “I do.” Check this out:

For over a decade, there have been numerous studies that reveal three different attachment styles in the way people bond sexually: secure, anxious and avoidant. The latter is what’s interesting as it reflects the behavior we see in the statistics above.

According to Dr. [Sue] Johnson: “Those of us who are avoidant, that is, uncomfortable with emotional closeness and dependence on others, are more likely to have what I term ‘sealed-off sex.’ Sex is self-centered and self-affirming, a performance aimed at achieving climax and confirming one’s own sexual skill. Technique is prized; openness and vulnerability shunned. There is little foreplay, such as kissing or tender touching. And no cuddling afterward—once the Big Bang occurs, there’s nothing left … Because pleasure without emotional engagement is shallow and fleeting, this kind of sex needs continual boosting to be thrilling.”

God’s desire is for your sexual relationship with your spouse to be intoxicating! The descriptions in Scripture are of a husband and wife intoxicated with each other, and God pronouncing a blessing over the couple as they are wrapped up in each other! God wants sex in your marriage to be so amazingly good that there is never a shadow of a thought of looking anywhere else.

But if you want this, you must do sex God’s way. One man and one woman who are married to each other, and who have left behind all the entanglements of other partners, whether they’re real or virtual.

Trip Lee on Sex, Marriage & Pornography

May 18, 2015 — Craig T. Owens

Trip Lee’s book Rise is a great resource to put into the hands of a young person, but even better would be for teacher or parent or youth pastor to read it and discuss it with them. A huge issue young people deal with is their own sexuality, along with what the culture says about marriage and pornography. Check out this insight from Trip—

“Our world often treats sex as if it’s the greatest thing life has to offer us. It puts an incredible amount of pressure on us to explore and experienced everything as soon as we can. And they treat it like the experience is an end in itself. While it is an amazing gift, sex is certainly not an end in itself. It’s a glorious chapter of a much bigger and more glorious story. But by elevating it above everything else and separating it from it’s beautiful intended purposes, we actually lower its value and degrade it.”

“Marriage is a masterful illustration, and when we have sex outside of marriage, we’re messing with the clearest picture God’s embedded into creation of His love for His people. Marriage is a parable we get to take part in, so a lot is at stake with your purity.”

“When you look at porn, you’re rejecting God and His plan. You’re saying, ‘God, I know this person is not my spouse and I’m not meant to look at them with lust, but I refuse to except that. I will look at them this way, whether You like it or not.’”

“Building habits of sexual sin is not something that can just be turned off easily after you say your vows. We shouldn’t imagine that the monster lurking in your soul will go dormant the minute you kiss your bride or groom.”

“Porn gives us a distorted view of the opposite sex. Those people whose bodies are captured in images on your computer screen or smartphones are made in the image of God. You’re objectifying them. You’re insulting God. You’re treating His image with disdain and perversion. You’re supporting an evil industry that destroys lives and marriages. You’re supporting an industry that is known to enslave and manipulate young women. Instead of caring for the weak, hurting, and confused, you’re supporting their pain and confusion. You’re encouraging them in it. With each click, you’re giving it a thumbs-up. Instead of seeing them how God sees them, you’re looking at them through broken lenses.”

You can read my review of Rise by clicking here.

You can check out more quotes from Rise by clicking here.

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: book review, habits, marriage, pornography, quotes, relationships, sex, sexual purity, sexual sin, sexuality, Trip Lee. Leave a Comment »

Links & Quotes

March 14, 2015 — Craig T. Owens

Today is pi day (3.1415), and Seth Godin has a great look at this day in his post Magical and Irrational.

Sadly, religious persecution is alive and well … IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?!? This Navy chaplain has been removed from his unit for―gasp!―preaching from the Bible!

Some very good pro-life news. Scientists have called on their peers to agree not to modify human embryos — even for research. Just because scientists can do something doesn’t mean it should be done.

“Cancer research disagrees with the assumptions of beneficial mutations, millions of years, and junk DNA.” Read more in Cancer Research Inadvertently Refutes Evolution.

“Yes, I know one doesn’t even want to be cured of one’s pride because it gives pleasure. But the pleasure of pride is like the pleasure of scratching. If there is an itch one does want to scratch: but it is much nicer to have neither the itch nor the scratch. As long as we have the itch of self-regard we shall want the pleasure of self-approval; but the happiest moments are those when we forget our precious selves and have neither, but have everything else (God, our fellow-humans, animals, the garden and the sky) instead.” ―C.S. Lewis

Who Needs Sex? An insightful post from Pastor Dave Barringer.

Jim Cymbala asks, “Does anyone really think that America today is lacking preachers, books, Bible translations, and neat doctrinal statements? What we really lack is the passion to call upon the Lord until He opens the heavens and shows Himself powerful.” Read more in Prayer Revival.

“Let me say that for comfort, there is no thought more full of sweetness than that of an eternal God engaged in Christ Jesus to His people; to love, and bless, and save them all. One Who has made them the distinguished objects of His discriminating regard from all eternity, it is the eternal God.” —Charles Spurgeon

Links & Quotes

March 6, 2015 — Craig T. Owens

“When the body is about to be led into a sinful action by some fear or craving, we are to take the sword of the Spirit and kill that fear and that craving. In my experience, that means mainly severing the root of sin’s promise by the power of a superior promise. … Having promises at hand that suit the temptation of the hour is one key to successful warfare against sin…. Be constantly adding to your arsenal of promises. But never lose sight of the chosen few that God has blessed in your life. Do both. Be ever-ready with the old. And every morning look for a new one to take with you through the day.” —John Piper

“At the heart of the Hebrew concept of marriage is the notion of covenant—a legally binding agreement with spiritual and emotional ramification (Proverbs 2:17). God serves as a witness to the marriage covenant, blessing its faithfulness but hating its betrayal (Malachi 2:14-16). The Lord’s intimate involvement renders this legal commitment a spiritual union, ‘so they are no longer two, but one’ (Matthew 19:6). The purpose of marriage as articulated in the Bible is to find true companionship (Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 18: 22), produce godly offspring (Malachi 2:15; 1 Corinthians 7:14) and fulfill God’s calling upon an individual’s life (Genesis 1:28). … Marriage binds husband and wife together into an entity greater than either partner as an individual, and it does so in order to assure continuity of the family lineage.” —Archeological Study Bible

“To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.” —Theodore Roosevelt

Eric Metaxas, in his commentary A Murderous Mother, tells how the environmentalists have gotten off track, and how Christians are really the only one who can help us.

“In our esteem, the joys of earth are little better than husks for swine compared with Jesus the Heavenly Manna. I would rather have one mouthful of Christ’s love, and a sip of His fellowship, than a whole world full of carnal delights. What is the chaff to the wheat? What is the sparkling paste to the true diamond? What is a dream to the glorious reality?” —Charles Spurgeon

I really like this post—Is There A Spiritual Side To Sex?

Abortion, Inc. documents the $500 million Planned Parenthood gets in your tax dollars to keep killing innocent children.

Russell Brand Talks Porn

February 27, 2015 — Craig T. Owens

Wow! Russell Brand uses the movie Fifty Shades Of Grey as a launching point to discuss the dangers of pornography. Warning: strong language in this video…

Russell says, “Our attitudes toward sex have become warped and perverted, and deviated from its true function. … Pornography reduces the spectacle of sex to a kinda of extracted physical act.” How do we know this is wrong? Notice he says he knew porn was wrong that there was a feeling at the core of his being about its wrongness.

Perhaps Russell and others feel this way because pornography is in direct conflict to God’s design for sexuality. What do you think?

Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: marriage, pornography, Russell Brand, sexuality, video. Leave a Comment »

Links & Quotes

February 12, 2015 — Craig T. Owens

“How much owest thou unto my Lord? Has He ever done anything for thee? Has He forgiven thy sins? Has He covered thee with a robe of righteousness? Has He set thy feet upon a rock? Has He established thy goings? Has He prepared heaven for thee? Has He prepared thee for heaven? Has He written thy name in His book of life? Has He given thee countless blessings? Has He a store of mercies which eye hath not seen nor ear heard? Then do something for Christ worthy of His love. Wake up from natural sleepiness, and this very day, before the sun goes down, do something in some way by which you shall prove that you feel the power of that divine motive, ‘for Christ’s sake.’” —Charles Spurgeon

“Now the whole offer which Christianity makes is this: that we can, if we let God have His way, come to share in the life of Christ. If we do, we shall then be sharing a life which was begotten, not made, which always has existed and always will exist. Christ is the Son of God. If we share in this kind of life we also shall be sons of God. We shall love the Father as He does and the Holy Ghost will arise in us.” —C.S. Lewis

Jesus showed us the most loving thing we can do for our friends. Check out David Wilkerson’s post I Have Prayed For You.

“Not all sexual desire is lust. God made sexual desire. It has its good place and it can, in fact, become an act of worship in the temple of marriage. But lust is sexual desire gone wrong.” Read more from John Piper in You Can Say No To Porn.

Speaking of pornography, here’s another powerful reason to NOT SEE Fifty Shades Of Grey. “Amy Bonomi, professor and chairperson of Michigan State University’s Department of Human Development and Family studies, has made some disturbing findings. A thorough 2013 study of the book concludes that ‘emotional and sexual abuse is pervasive in the novel,’ appearing in almost every interaction between the protagonists…. Far from ‘empowering,’ Fifty Shades seeks to remove agency. Even though it’s supposed to seem ‘sexy,’ the book even includes several instances of rape, where Ana is coerced into or outright forced to have sex.” Read more in The Real Abuse At The Heart Of Fifty Shades Of Grey.