Help! I’m A Single Parent!

I believe God brings us to certain places and experiences in our lives to develop more of His nature in us. One of the aspects of God’s nature is His empathy. That word literally means to be in suffering with someone. Throughout all of history, God continually tells humanity, “I feel what you feel. When you suffer, I suffer too.” The Bible also tells us that Jesus experienced everything we will ever experience, and knows just how we feel.

So this week I’m experiencing what it’s like to be a single parent. Betsy is visiting her family in California, so I’m home with our kids. Granted this is not even close to what true single parents have to cope with. They do it for years, and I’m struggling with just a week. But my week-long experience is developing greater empathy in me.

I’ve got my usual slate of activity for this week, and then I come home to a crying child who is dealing with a rough relationship issue at school. And then I’m trading texts with a coach, trying to work out details for a practice schedule for another child. And then I’m juggling how to get my kids to three different activities, which all start at almost the same time. And then I’m trying to figure out the family meals, and squeezing in a trip to the grocery store. And then I’m having a discussion with my kids about a housekeeping issue. And then … and then … and then …

God’s design was for our kids to have two parents: a Mom and a Dad. When one parent is missing, I believe God gives extra grace to the remaining parent to operate in both roles. But that isn’t God’s ideal. Into this void, Christians are supposed to step in.

  • Support organizations that assist single parents.
  • Better yet: volunteer at one of these organization.
  • Invite a single-parent family over to dinner at your house.
  • Be a mentor.
  • If your kids are going somewhere a single parent’s kids are, offer to help carpool.
  • Guys, be a father-figure to fatherless kids.
  • Ladies, be a mother-figure to motherless kids.
  • Let a single parent drop off his/her kids at your house so that parent can have some alone time.
  • Take a single parent out for coffee and let them vent.
  • Provide a scholarship to a camp for single-parent kids.

The cliché said, “It takes a village to raise a child.” I think it’s even better this way: It takes a loving Church to raise a healthy, well-balance FAMILY.

It’s time for Christians to be that Church!

Does Either-Or Work?

Sometimes I read about this debate whether churches should be “attractional” or “missional.” The first approach says that church should attract people first, and then share the gospel with them. The second approach says that if churches simply focus on sharing the gospel they will then attract people.

Either-or. Either missional or attractional.

What about both-and?

Consider the life of Jesus. No one would ever argue that He wasn’t “on mission” all the time. In fact, numerous times He says, “I’m doing what My Father wants me to do,” or even, “It’s not time for me to do that yet.” Jesus was missional.

And yet… “Tax collectors and other notorious sinners often came to listen to Jesus teach. This made the Pharisees and teachers of religious law complain that He was associating with such sinful people—even eating with them! (Luke 15:1-2). People loved being around Jesus. Jesus was attractional.

Jesus exemplified both-and missional-attractional. I think He was able to perfectly balance this because of the work of the Holy Spirit. I can aim for the both-and of missional-attractional in my life … I can give it my best shot. But the only way I can truly achieve anything is by allowing the Holy Spirit to shape and direct my life, just as He did for Jesus. Henry & Melvin Blackaby, in their book Experiencing The Holy Spirit, wrote:

“The world doesn’t need to see good people giving their best to God; they need to encounter God doing in and through us what only He can do! …Our best isn’t good enough when it comes to kingdom work; we need the Holy Spirit in our lives if we’re going to be of use to God.”

I need the Holy Spirit in my life if I’m going to be of use to God, and be of any benefit to people.

I need the Holy Spirit in my life if I’m going to balance both-and missional-attractional like Jesus.

Blessing Of Becoming

“When our Lord looked at us, He saw not only what we were—He was faithful in seeing what we could become! He took away the curse of being and gave us the glorious blessing of becoming.” —A.W. Tozer

The word blessing in the Greek is a compound word made up of good + words. Just as Jesus blessed us—said the good word that He prepared us for something more than a life enslaved to sin—shouldn’t we too say good words to others about what they could become?

There is ZERO excuse for anyone who calls themselves a Christian to ever say anything but good words to others. If God only says good words to you and about you, how much more so should Christians be speaking good words to and about others!

Jesus took away the curse of being trapped as we were, and gave us the blessing of becoming who He truly intends for us to be. Let’s do the same thing for other people.

Make a covenant: I will only use my words to bless others; that is, I will only say good words to them and about them. I will speak only those words that tell them about the masterpiece that they are.

What God Do You Tru$t?

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.

Things seem to be going very, very well for Israel! Check out what Isaiah wrote:

Their land is full of silver and gold; there is no end to their treasures. Their land is full of horses; there is no end to their chariots.

Sounds like a success story to me!

But wait: the next verse sounds a bit ominous:

Their land is full of idols; the people worship things they have made with their own hands.

Money? Yes.

Influence? Lots.

Prosperity? For everyone.

Idolatry? Widespread.

They were no longer looking to God, but they were looking to what they had made with their own hands. In other words, they made Money their god.

Money can save us!

Money can fix all our problems!

Without Money we are lost!

Only those with Money can be saved!

Sadly, I believe what was said of Israel 2500 years ago could be said of the United States of America today. In God We Trust is printed on all our currency, but it really has become In Money We Trust. We have made Money our god.

Don’t believe me? How do you think most people would answer these fill-in-the-blanks:

  • I need _____________ to get clothes.
  • Without _____________ I cannot feed my family.
  • If I lost _____________ today I would be devastated.
  • I frequently think about how more _____________ in my life would make my life better.

But check out what Jesus says about clothes, food, and our means of survival.

What should go in the blank: Money or God? Again, let’s let Jesus have the final word: “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (Luke 16:13).

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The Cross: Cruel & Wondrous

   There was no more terrible death than death by crucifixion. Even the Romans themselves regarded it with a shudder of horror. Cicero declared that it was “the most cruel and horrifying death.” Tacitus said that it was a “despicable death.” It was originally a Persian method of execution. It may have been used because, to the Persians, the earth was sacred, and they wished to avoid defiling it with the body of an evil-doer. So they nailed him to a cross and left him to die there, looking to the vultures and the carrion crows to complete the work. The Carthaginians took over crucifixion from the Persians; and the Romans learned it from the Carthaginians.

Crucifixion was never used as a method of execution in the homeland, but only in the provinces, and there only in the case of slaves. It was unthinkable that a Roman citizen should die such a death. Cicero says: “It is a crime for a Roman citizen to be bound; it is a worse crime for him to be beaten; it is well nigh parricide for him to be killed; what am I to say if he be killed on a cross? A nefarious action such as that is incapable of description by any word, for there is none fit to describe it.” It was that death, the most dreaded in the ancient world, the death of slaves and criminals, that Jesus died.

The routine of crucifixion was always the same. When the case had been heard and the criminal condemned, the judge uttered the fateful sentence: Ibis ad crucem, “You will go to the cross.” The verdict was carried out there and then. The condemned man was placed in the centre of a quaternion, a company of four Roman soldiers. His own cross was placed upon his shoulders. Scourging always preceded crucifixion and it is to be remembered how terrible scourging was. Often the criminal had to be lashed and goaded along the road, to keep him on his feet, as he staggered to the place of crucifixion. Before him walked an officer with a placard on which was written the crime for which he was to die and he was led through as many streets as possible on the way to execution. There was a double reason for that. There was the grim reason that as many as possible should see and take warning from his fate. But there was a merciful reason. The placard was carried before the condemned man and the long route was chosen, so that if anyone could still bear witness in his favor, he might come forward and do so. In such a case, the procession was halted and the case retried. —William Barclay, Commentary on John

When I survey the wondrous Cross

On which the Prince of Glory died

My richest gain I count but loss

And pour contempt on all my pride.

—Isaac Watts

Can You Hear Him?

They said she’s not worthy
with words so unkind.
They said she’s not respectable;
God said, “She’s Mine.”
I hear the voice of Jesus,
I hear the voice of my Lord,
I hear the voice of my Savior
saying, “My child, I adore you.
I hear you call My name in desperation.
I hear you call My name in praise.
I hear you call My name in worship.
I hear each time that you pray.
I know that you love Me.
I know that on Me you depend.
It’s for you My Son I did send.”
So lift your hands and heart toward heaven
when life seems unable to bear.
There’s a wooden Cross on Calvary
proving Someone cares.
Listen to the voice of Jesus.
Listen to the voice of the Lord.
Listen to the voice of the Savior.
A home in heaven will be your reward.

—Betty Ann King, I Hear Him

I pray that today you can hear Jesus calling your name and saying, “You are mine; I paid an incredibly high price to show you how much I love you!”

Progressing From . To ? To !

There is a progression that I believe Christians should be aware of as they lead others toward Christ.

First: .

Those who have been de-churched, or who have had a negative experience with another Christian, or who have become disenchanted with the Church, make factual statements about Christians and Church.

“The Church is….

“Christians always….

But if are truly the salt of the earth and the light of the world, we can season and shine in a way that will cause them to question their own factual statements.

Next comes: ?

“The Christian Church exists to reveal God and to utter forth His praise, to make God known to men who know Him not, that in the presence of the revelation they may be filled with awe, and wonder, and amazement—to make God known, that God shall be attractive to humanity.” —G. Morgan Campbell

This is Church?

You’re a Christian?

Which leads to: !

Jesus stated that the greatest of all commandments—indeed the fulfillment of all the commandments—was loving God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength and then loving others as we love ourselves. Once people see Christians as true representations of Christ … people so intent on loving God and loving others, they too will find what their hearts have been longing for.

“This is what I’ve been looking for!

“Now this is what I call a real Church!

Can I suggest an easy place to start? With your smile. Look at what Job said:

Men listened to me expectantly, waiting in silence for my counsel. After I had spoken, they spoke no more; my words fell gently on their ears. They waited for me as for showers and drank in my words as the spring rain. When I smiled at them, they scarcely believed it; the light of my face was precious to them. (Job 29:21-24)

Living in this way can move people from close-minded skeptics, to curious questioners, to enthusiastic followers of Jesus Christ. Let’s do this! 

Um, That’s A Bit Awkward

Somehow I don’t think this is the most effective way to start a conversation about your faith!

Here are four thoughts I have…

Don’t compartmentalize. In other words, don’t put on your “Christian hat” to talk about your relationship with Jesus. Just be Christ-like all the time. People are looking for something real, not someone who’s playing an act.

Develop relationships first. Don’t lead with a sermon; lead with a friendship. As the saying goes, “People don’t care how much (or Who) you know, until they know how much you care.” Be a genuine friend first.

Wait until they’re ready. Jesus told stories with a deeper meaning and asked a lot of questions of people before He spoke to them directly about the kingdom of God. Don’t force people into a conversation. Keep the door open, and let them step in when they are ready.

Don’t get discouraged. Just like there are some topics you’re not ready to discuss right now, others feel the same way. So just because they say “No thanks” today doesn’t mean nothing happened. The Bible says that we are the salt of the earth and the light of the world. Salt and light are always seasoning and illuminating everywhere they go. Your life is making a difference.

If Jesus Came To Your House

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible.

If Jesus came to your house to spend a day or two—
If He came unexpectedly, I wonder what you’d do.
Oh, I know you’d give your nicest room to such an honored Guest,
And all the food you’d serve to Him would be the very best,
And you would keep assuring Him you’re glad to have Him there—
That serving Him in your own home is joy beyond compare.

But when you saw Him coming, would you meet Him at the door
With arms outstretched in welcome to your heavenly Lord?
Or would you have to change your clothes before you let Him in?
Or hide some magazines and put the Bible where they’d been?
Would you turn off the radio and hope He hadn’t heard?
And wish you hadn’t uttered that last, loud, hasty word?

Would you hide your worldly music and put some hymn books out?
Could you let Jesus walk right in, or would you rush about?
And I wonder—if the Savior spent a day or two with you,
Would you go right on doing the things you always do?
Would you go right on saying the things you always say?
Would life for you continue as it does from day to day?

Would your family conversation keep up its usual pace?
And would you find it hard each meal to say a table grace?
Would you sing the songs you always sing, and read the books you read,
And let Him know the things on which your mind and spirit feed?
Would you take Jesus with you everywhere you’d planned to go?
Or would you, maybe, change your plans for just a day or so?

Would you be glad to have Him meet your very closest friends?
Or would you hope they’d stay away until His visit ends?
Would you be glad to have Him stay forever on and on?
Or would you sigh with great relief when He at last was gone?
It might be interesting to know the things that you would do
If Jesus Christ in person came to spend some time with you. —Lois Blanchard Eades

(I added the emphasis to the things that made me pause to think…)

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Failure To Recognize

The Apostle John opens his gospel account with these sobering words:

[Jesus] was in the world, and though the world was made through Him, the world did not recognize Him. (John 1:10)

Commenting on this verse, A.W. Tozer wrote:

My fellow man, do you not know that your great sin is this: the all-pervading and eternal Presence is here, and you cannot feel Him? Are you not aware that there is a great and true Light which brightly shines—and you cannot see it? Have you not heard within your being a tender Voice whispering of the eternal value of your soul—and yet you have said, “I have heard nothing”? This is, in essence, the charge that John levels at human kind: Jesus Christ, the Word of God, was in the world, and the world failed to recognize Him.

I never want to be guilty of failing to recognize Jesus! Sometimes in the busyness of life—even the busyness of the ministry of the church—I can become guilty of being focused on the activity, instead of focusing on Christ, Who is supposed to be the focus of my activity.

So we’re taking a “time out” today. As a church we are fasting and praying for 24-hours to cleanse our hearts to recognize Jesus, and to recognize what He wants to accomplish as we commemorate Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday later this month.