The Book Of Man (book review)

July 9, 2012 — Craig T. Owens

“The purpose of this book is to explore and explain what it means to be a man,” writes William Bennett in the introduction of The Book Of Man: Readings on the Path to Manhood. It seems like an ambitious goal, but this book actually does a wonderful job in achieving that lofty goal.

If you’ve read any of the other compilations that William Bennett has pulled together (such as The Book Of Virtues), you will have a good idea of the layout of this book. In case you haven’t experienced any of Bennett’s other collections, the idea is to pull together some of the wisest words ever spoken or written on a singular topic. In so doing, the reader will get to look at that topic through the eyes of so many different people, that it will give a much fuller view of the topic.

In this book, the topic is men. What does it mean to be a man? To be a Dad? To be a husband? To be a soldier or an employer/employee? To be tough and yet loving? To be thoughtful and yet a man of action? The Book Of Man is divided into six sections:

  • Man in war
  • Man at work
  • Man in play, sports, and leisure
  • Man in the polis
  • Man with woman and children
  • Man in prayer and reflection

In each section you will find the wit and wisdom of men living and dead; of those in the modern world and the ancient; of those from Western cultures and Eastern; of those who have “been there, done that.” This is not necessarily compiled to be read from cover-to-cover (although that’s the way I enjoyed reading it), but to go to the various sections as you are learning and growing in that area. I also love the comprehensive index at the end of the book, as a way to search for a particular author or topic.

As with William Bennett’s other books, this is a great book to read aloud with others. I would especially recommend Dads reading passages with their sons, as a great tool in helping our young men learn what it means to be a true man.

I am a Thomas Nelson book reviewer.

UPDATE: I am sharing some of my favorite quotes from The Book Of Man. You can read them here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here.

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Courageous Enough To Interfere

June 18, 2012 — Craig T. Owens

King David was brilliant as a king, and a disaster as a father. One of the things that is very telling is what is not written when his kids mess up. The Bible tells us that David felt strong emotions, but he simply didn’t act on them. In fact, one of the most telling verses of inaction comes when his son Adonijah is trying to put himself on David’s throne—

His father had never interfered with him by asking, “Why do you behave as you do?” (1 Kings 1:6)

It takes courage to interfere with our kids when they are misbehaving.

So why don’t some dads interfere? I can think of a few reasons…

  • They didn’t have a good relationship with their own father. In David’s case, his father Jesse didn’t think too highly of David. In fact, David was the overlooked, almost-forgotten son (1 Samuel 16:8-11).
  • They’re too tired. David was so focused on building up Israel’s defenses, and defeating the bad guys, that he had nothing left emotionally and physically to interact with his kids. We need to make it our priority! John wrote: I have no greater joy than knowing my children all walk in the truth (3 John 4). Now that’s a great priority!
  • Their past sins haunt them. David sinned against Bathsheba (like Amnon did against Tamar); David murdered Uriah (like Adonijah did Amnon). So perhaps he felt like he didn’t have the moral authority to interfere with his sons. But if you read some of the wise sayings in Proverbs 6:20-29 and 7:1-5, they sound like a man who has had experience. Let your hindsight (good or bad) be your kids’ foresight.
  • They think it’s too late. It’s never too late! Never! Apparently, David learned this lesson in time and taught his son Solomon (read Proverbs 1:1 and 4:3-4). As long as there is breath in your lungs, you should be your kids’ dad!

Dads, will you be courageous enough to lovingly interfere with your kids if they are getting off track?

Will you be courageous enough to make some changes in your schedule so that you can invest the time and energy and creativity necessary to raise them up?

Will you be courageous enough to confess your past sins, and not let them hold you back from speaking into your kids’ lives?

Will you be courageous enough to start today?

Dad, you kids need you to be involved! Be courageous enough to step into their lives.

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“The Bridge Builder”

June 17, 2012 — Craig T. Owens

I shared this poem in my Father’s Day message this morning, and several folks have asked me to share it. I’m happy to do so!

An old man walking a lonesome road,
Came at the evening, cold and gray,
To a chasm vast and wide and deep.
The old man crossed in the twilight dim,
The rolling stream had no fears for him;
But he turned when safe on the other side,
And built a bridge to span the tide.
“Old man,” said a fellow traveler near,
“You are wasting your strength with building here,
Your journey will end with the passing day,
You never again will pass this way,
You’ve crossed the chasm, deep and wide,
Why build you this bridge at eventide?”
The builder lifted his old gray head,
“Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said,
“There followeth after me today,
A youth whose feet must pass this way.
The chasm that was naught to me,
To the fair headed youth may a pitfall be.
He too must cross in the twilight dim –
Good friend, I am building this bridge for him.” —W.A. Dromgoale

I am thankful for all of the fathers who said they would be courageous enough to be a bridge-builder for their kids! May God bless you as you follow through on this noble calling.

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The 21-Day Dad’s Challenge (book review)

February 9, 2012 — Craig T. Owens

Next to being a husband, there is nothing I love more than being a Dad! I take my responsibility as a father very seriously, so that’s why I am always trying to grow in this area of my life. I just finished a 3-week journey through The 21-Day Dad’s Challenge by Carey Casey, and I am a better Dad for it.

As the name implies, this is designed to be read one day at a time over 21 days. At the end of each day’s lesson there are challenges to help Dads put into practice what they’ve just read. These challenges, I discovered, cannot be accomplished in a single day; they are intended to become lifelong habits. At the end of several of the chapters is a QR code that takes you to a short 2-minute video by Dr. Greg Smalley, who serves as a cheerleader/motivator to help Dads get moving.

I appreciated “the little things” that this book showed Dads could do right away. The principles in this book are not hard to implement, but they are simple steps that any Dad can do. At least, any Dad who wants to step up his fathering skills!

I loved it! I think lots of other Dads will too.

I am a Tyndale book reviewer.

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Pastor Dad (book review)

January 9, 2012 — Craig T. Owens

I recently read a free ebook from Mark Driscoll called Pastor Dad. You can read it or download it for free by clicking here.

One of the Bible verses that I claim as one of my life verses is this—I have no greater joy than knowing all of my children walk in the truth (3 John 4). I don’t want to be so busy with my church and community work that I miss out on one of the greatest joys: Being my kids’ Dad and leading them in their walk with Jesus!

Pastor Mark’s book is a very helpful reminder and resource for Dads, to make sure we are doing what God has entrusted us to do. It’s not a lengthy nor difficult read, but it is both convicting and challenging.

Dads, I encourage you to check this out.

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He’s Here To Keep

November 16, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

Going through my youngest son’s writing journal for his classroom, I came across this gem that he wrote:

My Dad’s out of town
I feel alone
I’m feeling really down
He can’t reach the phone
All of a sudden the phone rings
And my heart sings
 
I pick up the phone
He said, “Only one more day”
And in his voice was a great tone
He said what I wanted him to say
One more time of sleep
And then he’s here to keep

Dads, listen to me: Your kids want you.

For your kids you spell “love” T-I-M-E.

Give them all the time you can. They want you for keeps.

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Integrity At Home

August 30, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

I read this verse the other day in my devotions, and it’s really been doing a number on my heart.

…I will lead a life of integrity in my own home. (Psalm 101:2 NLT)

I would hate it if I was considered a hero at work, but considered a zero in my own home.

Here’s what I’m processing:

  • Do I earn the same level of respect at home as I do at the office?
  • Do I put in the same diligence into growing my home life as I do growing my career?
  • Am I as forgiving with my family as with friends and coworkers?
  • Do I have the same level of preparation at home as I do at work?
  • Am I learning the craft of being a husband and father like I’m learning the craft of being a pastor?
  • Do I honor my commitments at home like I do with others?

I don’t want to live as John Bunyan described Talkative in Pilgrim’s Progress: “He was a saint abroad and a devil at home.”

Instead one of my life verses is this: I have no greater joy than knowing my children all walk in the truth (3 John 4).

The only way this will be possible is if I led a life of integrity in my own home.

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Calling Out Manhood

August 1, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

Last week I shared about the outstanding movie Courageous which opens on September 30. This movie will be enjoyed by everyone in the family, but Dads especially are going to be challenged to take their fatherhood to a whole new level.

I recently read Secure Daughters, Confident Sons by Glenn Stanton, and these two quotes from that book tie-in so well to the message of Courageous—

“When a relationship between a boy and his father is loving and warm, as opposed to critical and stoic, those boys are indeed more likely to develop healthily in more masculine ways.”

“The girl who doesn’t have the power and beauty of her femininity affirmed by the first and most important man in her life [her Dad] will grow into a woman driven to flaunt it in the face of every young and older man, constantly making the very public and insecure statement, ‘I desperately need you to notice me as a woman!’”

Here’s a powerful 1-minute clip from Courageous…

Make your plans NOW to see Courageous when it opens on September 30.

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Secure Daughters, Confident Sons (book review)

June 7, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

Our society is bombarded by so many flat-out-wrong messages about boys and girls, and how to parent them. In Secure Daughters, Confident Sons, Glenn T. Stanton helps set the record straight.

Right out of the gate, Glenn makes an important statement about the need for a book such as this:

“If the rhetoric of political correctness keeps us from exploring the issue of gender differences, we lose something valuable to our humanity. Amazing scientific evidences of essential sex differences in the fields of anthropology, psychology, endocrinology, and neurology in the last few decades strongly disprove nearly all the thinking that drove the misunderstanding about gender in the first place. In fact, the more sophisticated this scientific research gets, the more it deepens our insight into the importance of male and female differences and how profoundly they exist within us.” (emphasis mine)

With a no-holds-barred approach, Glenn dismantles the politically-correct falsehoods like:

  • There are no real differences between boys and girls.
  • Kids can development just fine in a fatherless home.
  • Our children are just as healthy in a one-parent home as in a two-parent home.
  • Kids will be kids regardless of what their parents tell them.

The first few chapters alternate between information specifically for raising boys, and information specifically for raising girls. Then the later chapters zero in on the roles both Dads and Moms play in developing healthy, well-rounded, confident, secure children. Who (no surprise here) develop into healthy, well-rounded, confident, secure adults and future parents.

In one of the concluding chapters Glenn writes—

“Boys who grow up with warm and close connections with their fathers are more likely to develop a healthy masculine sense of self. …Boys who grow up with close, affectionate, and affirming relationships with their mothers have a better sensitivity to and understanding of women. …Girls who grow up close to affirming, warm, loving, and confident moms are more likely to be secure and healthy in their womanhood. Girls who grow up close to their fathers in loving and affirming relationships are more likely to be confident around boys and men as they grow.”

I cannot stress strongly enough how important it is for parents and soon-to-be parents to READ THIS BOOK! Raising children is an awesome responsibility, and we need all the help we can get!

I am a Multnomah book reviewer.

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Help! I’m A Single Parent!

June 1, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

I believe God brings us to certain places and experiences in our lives to develop more of His nature in us. One of the aspects of God’s nature is His empathy. That word literally means to be in suffering with someone. Throughout all of history, God continually tells humanity, “I feel what you feel. When you suffer, I suffer too.” The Bible also tells us that Jesus experienced everything we will ever experience, and knows just how we feel.

So this week I’m experiencing what it’s like to be a single parent. Betsy is visiting her family in California, so I’m home with our kids. Granted this is not even close to what true single parents have to cope with. They do it for years, and I’m struggling with just a week. But my week-long experience is developing greater empathy in me.

I’ve got my usual slate of activity for this week, and then I come home to a crying child who is dealing with a rough relationship issue at school. And then I’m trading texts with a coach, trying to work out details for a practice schedule for another child. And then I’m juggling how to get my kids to three different activities, which all start at almost the same time. And then I’m trying to figure out the family meals, and squeezing in a trip to the grocery store. And then I’m having a discussion with my kids about a housekeeping issue. And then … and then … and then …

God’s design was for our kids to have two parents: a Mom and a Dad. When one parent is missing, I believe God gives extra grace to the remaining parent to operate in both roles. But that isn’t God’s ideal. Into this void, Christians are supposed to step in.

  • Support organizations that assist single parents.
  • Better yet: volunteer at one of these organization.
  • Invite a single-parent family over to dinner at your house.
  • Be a mentor.
  • If your kids are going somewhere a single parent’s kids are, offer to help carpool.
  • Guys, be a father-figure to fatherless kids.
  • Ladies, be a mother-figure to motherless kids.
  • Let a single parent drop off his/her kids at your house so that parent can have some alone time.
  • Take a single parent out for coffee and let them vent.
  • Provide a scholarship to a camp for single-parent kids.

The cliché said, “It takes a village to raise a child.” I think it’s even better this way: It takes a loving Church to raise a healthy, well-balance FAMILY.

It’s time for Christians to be that Church!

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