This is not cool…
Click the infographic to go to Fight The New Drug’s page where this was originally posted.
Porn & Human Trafficking
May 30, 2015 — Craig T. OwensMore Sex Talk
May 28, 2015 — Craig T. Owens
Sex is good. God designed it to be that way! As more and more scientific studies are completed and research papers published there is one thing becoming more and more clear—God’s way of having sex (a married husband and wife) is the best way to do it.
Pornography before or during marriage is a relationship killer. [1] Porn makes you objectify the other person, seeing them as an object to be used and not a person to be loved. [2] Porn creates unrealistic expectations that your spouse cannot live up to. [3] Even so-called “soft” porn is the open door to more destructive viewing habits. [4] Porn erodes the trust that holds a relationship together. [5] Porn isolates marriage partners from each other, because they think they can find satisfaction on a screen.
Having sex before marriage actually rewires your brain, making it so much harder to bond with your spouse after you say “I do.” Check this out:
For over a decade, there have been numerous studies that reveal three different attachment styles in the way people bond sexually: secure, anxious and avoidant. The latter is what’s interesting as it reflects the behavior we see in the statistics above.
According to Dr. [Sue] Johnson: “Those of us who are avoidant, that is, uncomfortable with emotional closeness and dependence on others, are more likely to have what I term ‘sealed-off sex.’ Sex is self-centered and self-affirming, a performance aimed at achieving climax and confirming one’s own sexual skill. Technique is prized; openness and vulnerability shunned. There is little foreplay, such as kissing or tender touching. And no cuddling afterward—once the Big Bang occurs, there’s nothing left … Because pleasure without emotional engagement is shallow and fleeting, this kind of sex needs continual boosting to be thrilling.”
God’s desire is for your sexual relationship with your spouse to be intoxicating! The descriptions in Scripture are of a husband and wife intoxicated with each other, and God pronouncing a blessing over the couple as they are wrapped up in each other! God wants sex in your marriage to be so amazingly good that there is never a shadow of a thought of looking anywhere else.
But if you want this, you must do sex God’s way. One man and one woman who are married to each other, and who have left behind all the entanglements of other partners, whether they’re real or virtual.
Trip Lee on Sex, Marriage & Pornography
May 18, 2015 — Craig T. Owens
Trip Lee’s book Rise is a great resource to put into the hands of a young person, but even better would be for teacher or parent or youth pastor to read it and discuss it with them. A huge issue young people deal with is their own sexuality, along with what the culture says about marriage and pornography. Check out this insight from Trip—
“Our world often treats sex as if it’s the greatest thing life has to offer us. It puts an incredible amount of pressure on us to explore and experienced everything as soon as we can. And they treat it like the experience is an end in itself. While it is an amazing gift, sex is certainly not an end in itself. It’s a glorious chapter of a much bigger and more glorious story. But by elevating it above everything else and separating it from it’s beautiful intended purposes, we actually lower its value and degrade it.”
“Marriage is a masterful illustration, and when we have sex outside of marriage, we’re messing with the clearest picture God’s embedded into creation of His love for His people. Marriage is a parable we get to take part in, so a lot is at stake with your purity.”
“When you look at porn, you’re rejecting God and His plan. You’re saying, ‘God, I know this person is not my spouse and I’m not meant to look at them with lust, but I refuse to except that. I will look at them this way, whether You like it or not.’”
“Building habits of sexual sin is not something that can just be turned off easily after you say your vows. We shouldn’t imagine that the monster lurking in your soul will go dormant the minute you kiss your bride or groom.”
“Porn gives us a distorted view of the opposite sex. Those people whose bodies are captured in images on your computer screen or smartphones are made in the image of God. You’re objectifying them. You’re insulting God. You’re treating His image with disdain and perversion. You’re supporting an evil industry that destroys lives and marriages. You’re supporting an industry that is known to enslave and manipulate young women. Instead of caring for the weak, hurting, and confused, you’re supporting their pain and confusion. You’re encouraging them in it. With each click, you’re giving it a thumbs-up. Instead of seeing them how God sees them, you’re looking at them through broken lenses.”
You can read my review of Rise by clicking here.
You can check out more quotes from Rise by clicking here.
How Do I Starve My Eyes?
May 12, 2015 — Craig T. Owens
Yesterday I shared with you about the 30-day dare to starve your eyes (if you missed that post, please click here).
Steve Arterburn has written about how exactly we go about doing this. He writes that it means things like:
- Change the channel when something comes on that is sexually provocative
- Don’t check out ladies when they come into your line of vision; instead, re-direct your eyes
- Go out of your way to not look at the lingerie store windows in the mall
- Toss out the ads with scantily clad women
- Avoid suggestive photos on magazine covers in grocery stores
- Don’t watch movies that might have sexually explicit content or nudity
- Eat somewhere other than Hooters or bars
- Order an online filter and check your router settings
Please join me in taking this 30-day challenge.
Starve Your Eyes
May 11, 2015 — Craig T. OwensSteve Arterburn has written some challenging books on the care we need to take with what we view. It’s not just pornography itself, but even some of the things that can lead up to porn viewing. Steve has a dare for you: Can you change what you are looking at for 30 days? Check this out…
If you don’t think you have an issue with pornography, or maybe you don’t even think porn is that big of a deal, check yourself with this quick assessment.
I signed up for the 30 day challenge, and I DARE YOU to sign up too!
We Need To Talk … About Pornography
May 4, 2015 — Craig T. Owens
Fight The New Drug is coming to Cedar Springs this Friday. Please click here to get all the details, and then make plans to attend!
Links & Quotes
April 30, 2015 — Craig T. Owens
“It can be difficult at times to remember that people who are outspoken in their opposition to God and the Gospel, who have nothing kind to say about anything Christian, and who seem so angry whenever anything related to religion comes up—these people actually have a good deal in common with those of us who believe.” Read more from T.M. Moore in his post Common Ground.
Even if the argument is true that “anyone can be a good parent,” that does not mean that marriage should be redefined. Check out this great post.
Pornography is devastating our country! If you live anywhere near Cedar Springs, please join us for a special presentation by Fight The New Drug on May 8. Get all the details here. Think porn is a harmless activity? Better read this.
Porn Is Stealing From Your Marriage
April 28, 2015 — Craig T. Owens
Here is a great article from Stephen Miller entitled 3 Ways Porn Steals From Your Marriage. Pornography is a disease that is devastating families!
Miller says, “This isn’t a how-to article on eliminating porn from your life. In marriage mentoring and counseling, I have seen countless men addicted to pornography. The ones who have successfully been delivered from that addiction all had several things in common. They recognized what their addiction was doing to their relationship with God, they recognized what their sin was doing to their relationship with their wife and they recognized the very real capability of sexual sin passing down through the generations to their children. They then after reviewing all the evidence, made a firm decision that they wanted pure relationships more than secret sin.” (emphasis added)
If you are in the Cedar Springs area, please join us on Friday, May 8, for a special presentation from Fight The New Drug on the dangers of pornography, and how you can defeat it from controlling your life. Get all the details by clicking here.
Please read the full article, but Miller lists these three areas porn hurts marriage—
- Porn steals honest, open communication
- Porn steal genuine, unconditional love
- Porn steals the holiness God intended for marriage
You must get rid of porn before it destroys your most precious relationships! Get the help you need today.
Don’t Click It!
April 21, 2015 — Craig T. Owens
I’ve said this before and I’m going to keep on saying it: Pornography is NOT a victimless indulgence. You cannot say, “It doesn’t hurt anyone for me to just take a little peek.”
Yes, it does hurt. Pornography websites make their money by views. So every time you go to a website, you are keeping someone enslaved in an industry that uses, abuses, and then discards women and children.
Parents, you need to be aware of the dangers of pornography. Fight The New Drug is coming to Cedar Springs for a special presentation on Friday, May 8. Get all of the details by clicking here.
Shelley Lubben used to work in the porn industry, so she knows firsthand what’s going on. She flat out states, “So when people click [on porn], they’re contributing to sex trafficking, they’re contributing to STDs, they’re contributing to people who are mostly alcohol to drug addicts.”
Shelley goes on to say, “Of course different girls are gonna wanna say they’re empowered by their sex work, because what you can’t beat, you’re gonna join. You don’t want people to think you’re weak when you’re in porn; you wanna act like you love it and you love rough stuff, and you love being violated, and called degrading names. It’s all just a pack of lies. People do porn because they need the money, and most of them don’t have other options or education.”
Shelley was asked what she would say to someone who is looking at porn. Read her words carefully―
“You’re contributing to your demise. And to your family’s demise, and your wife’s. I can’t tell you how many porn addicts have lost their families and jobs. It’s really sad. And they’re contributing to children being raped. … Just think, right now as I’ve been talking to you, there are little children that are being drugged and raped. How could anyone click on porn knowing that?” (emphasis added)
You can read more of Shelley’s interview by clicking here.
Porn Destroys Women
April 13, 2015 — Craig T. OwensWatching pornography in the quiet of your home is not a victimless crime.
Whenever you click to watch that video, another woman or child is further enslaved in a nightmarish life. You can set them free by refusing to watch that video!
In Cedar Springs, I invite you to join me on Friday, May 8, as we hear from Fight The New Drug about the dangers of porn, and what we can do to free ourselves, and to free these women and children …
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