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On the Leading From Alignment podcast, I was discussing my book When Sheep Bite which is about leadership pain. John Opalewski asked me to share some things leaders should consider when they get bit.
On a different podcast, I discussed in more detail the idea in Luke 2:52 about Jesus growing in favor with men. Check out The Pinnacle of a Leader’s Health.
You can get more information on When Sheep Bitehere. And also check out my book of prayer for pastors called Amen Indeed.
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When people lash out at us—when they bite us—they could be giving us invaluable insight into what is truly in our heart. Before we respond too quickly, we need to take some time for introspection.
Check out this part of my conversation with John Opalewski and Jim Wiegand on the Leading From Alignment podcast.
Chapter 2 of When Sheep Bite is entitled ‘Is God Trying to Get My Attention?’ I tell a story about two similar bites I received from two totally different people who didn’t even know each other. I wrote—
As I drove back across the state, I kept the radio off and my ears open. I could feel the Holy Spirit asking me, “Why do you think two different people have called you the same nasty word?” The only honest answer I could give was, “Because it’s true.”
I wasn’t wrong in the way I held to the rules, but my overly-confident attitude had definitely crossed the line to become an in-your-face arrogance. I learned two lessons from this experience. First, if I do the right thing the wrong way, I’ve really done the wrong thing. Second, when similar attacks come, I need to pay attention.
Now, when a painful attack suddenly confronts me, I go to the mirror. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with them that they would bite me like this?” I go to prayer to ask, “Did I do something that provoked this?” Sometimes I have literally gone into my bathroom, closed the door, and gotten nose-to-nose with myself to ask this question, and then listened for the Holy Spirit to speak to my heart.
My cousin Dick Brogden wrote, “Critics and skeptics are gifts to us, for in their aspersions they often bring to light a brokenness or a liability early on in its development in us. If we are secure enough to ferret out the truth through the condemnation of others, we remain healthy in the long term as our malady is exposed and dealt with before it becomes too serious.”
Remember that we are naturally self-protective, so this time of introspection will need to be supernaturally empowered by the Holy Spirit if we are going to see the true prompter of the attack.
Please check out my book When Sheep Bite to both heal from past bites and prepare yourself for the bites which are inevitably coming in the future.
The closing chapter of my book When Sheep Bite is entitled ‘Faithfulness > Fight or Flight.’ In that chapter I wrote—
Remember that we are all striving to not succumb to the natural fight-or-flight response, but to attain the supernatural response of faithfulness. In this, we have a perfect example in our Good Shepherd.
In the Book of Revelation, Jesus is called the One who is “Faithful” (Revelation 19:11), and Paul says that the Faithful One who has called us will empower us to remain steadfast: “He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:24 NKJV).…
Yes, fight-or-flight is our natural response, but with the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, we can respond in supernatural faithfulness. We don’t have to sit unmoving and unfeeling, but we can continue to serve even biting sheep until God removes us or them.
We glorify God by faithfully serving the sheep He has placed under our care, giving our very best, even if our words and actions are unappreciated or ignored by those we are serving.
If you are in a difficult place in your leadership assignment, I encourage you to check out When Sheep Bite.
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If leaders say or do the right thing in the wrong way, it really becomes the wrong thing. This is why leaders—especially those who have been sheep-bitten and want to bring corrections—need to take a pause.
In that short moment of reflection, the Holy Spirit can help pastoral leaders respond in a way that will bring restoration, not more pain and possibly division.
I talked about this idea from chapter 2 of my book When Sheep Bite on the Leading From Alignment podcast with John Opalewski and Jim Wiegand.
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
In someways, my new book When Sheep Bite came out of my first book Shepherd Leadership. And yet, in many ways I consider When Sheep Bite to be the prequel of Shepherd Leadership.
Check out this short clip from my interview on the Leading From Alignment podcast with John Opalewski and Jim Wiegand where I try to explain what I mean.
In whatever order you choose to read these books, I have been thrilled to hear back from pastors and other church leaders who have found encouragement from both of them.
You can watch the full Leading Form Alignment interview here.
Leaders need to give others confidence to try something new. We need to help people get moving so that we can coach what they are doing. For more great leadership insights, check out The Craig and Greg Show.
I have lots of new content every week, which you can check out on my YouTube channel.
A couple of thought-worthy quotes for pastors. First from David Mathis: “Pastors, observe that in and of itself, mocking is no clear reflection of the faithfulness or fruitfulness of preaching Christ. Wise preachers do not take mocking as an indicator of failure, nor as an indicator of success. Twice in Athens some mock Paul, which may seem like a failure compared to his homiletic triumphs elsewhere. However, others say, ‘We will hear you again.’ And then, in the end: ‘some men joined him and believed’ [Acts 17:32-34]. … How foolish it would be to distract ourselves with the mockers. Or to call special attention to the mocking as some great badge of our own faithfulness. Rather, we have the example of Paul at Mars Hill, who, so far as we can tell, wholly overlooks, with a holy disregard, these mockers and concerns himself instead with those asking honest questions.”
…and then one from John Piper: “Preaching is a happy business. Because even if the text is a hard word that devastates the hearers, the preacher connects the hard word with the gracious word and the hopeful word, and he catches them as they fall. So, in the end, all preaching is a happy business.
“A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.” —Dwight D. Eisenhower
“For condemnation to work, we must say to God what the devil has said to us and believe it. If I want to stand before God with excuses that make what He said to me void, I’ll have to quote the devil to God. Does that sound like a good thing to do? God’s will for me is not to condemn me, but to liberate me from everything that holds me back from being what He created me to be through an ongoing relationship. To accomplish that, I need to do the opposite of what I used to do when I walked in condemnation. Instead of quoting to God what the devil is saying, I quote to the devil what God has said.” —Jim Wiegand, in Recruiting To Releasing
Another great story from the “Here We Stand” series of biographies of notable people during the Reformation. “An attendant asked [King Henry VIII] whom he wished to have at his bedside. The king asked for Thomas [Cranmer]. By the time Cranmer arrived, King Henry was unable to speak. Foxe tells the story. ‘Then the archbishop, exhorting him to put his trust in Christ, and to call upon His mercy, desired him though he could not speak, yet to give some token with his eyes or with his hand, that he trusted in the Lord. Then the king, holding him with his hand, did wring his hand in his as hard as he could (Foxe’s Book of Martyrs, 748).’ The scene sweetly punctuates the most important friendship in the English Reformation. Whatever King Henry believed when he squeezed Cranmer’s hand that day, God used the bond between them to break England free from Roman Catholicism and to recover the one true gospel.”
The ICR reports, “Genesis claims that people in the pre-Flood world routinely attained 900-year lifespans. The best-known example is Methuselah, who had the longest recorded lifespan of 969 years (Genesis 5:27). Skeptics dismiss these great ages as fanciful legends, but recent fossil data are providing unexpected, albeit indirect, corroboration of the Bible’s testimony.” Check out this full report.
“In my experience, each failure contains the seeds of your next success—if you are willing to learn from it.” —Paul Allen, cofounder of Microsoft
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In my book When Sheep Bite, I not only wrote about biting sheep, but I also wrote about wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing, and wolves who aren’t trying to hide themselves at all! How are shepherd leaders to deal with these folks?
That was one of the topics I addressed on the Leading From Alignment podcast with John Opalewski and Jim Wiegand.
In the chapter of my book called ‘Driving Away the Wolves,’ I wrote:
Loving shepherds are constantly among their sheep so that the sheep can know their voice and so the shepherd can know the voice of each individual sheep. This has the two-fold benefit of the sheep knowing which voice is trustworthy, and for you as the shepherd to spot the off-key voice of the “meaningless talk and deception” of those wolves who are hiding out among the sheep.
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There are some know-it-alls who want to tell pastoral leaders how they should have done things differently. Much like the “armchair quarterbacks” that seem to know all the right calls a team should make, even though they have virtually no experience.
Pastor, pay very little attention to those armchair quarterbacks that would speak into your life!
To put the quote that Jim shared from When Sheep Bite into context, here is the full passage—
Jesus is our perfect example of a Shepherd Leader. His example was to lay it all on the line, regardless of how the sheep were behaving or misbehaving: “I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep” (John 10:11). By contrast, Jesus warns us that those who are not willing to put their lives on the line for the sheep are worse than armchair pastors—Jesus calls them mere hired hands: “The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep” (John 10:12-13).
If I am called to be a shepherd leader, attacks will come from both sheep and wolves. It’s what I do in those hard times that shows whether I am truly called or merely acting as an armchair shepherd.
Jim’s book centers on the intersection of three circles. This is the “sweet spot” where people are doing what God created them to do. In order to find your sweet spot (or help others find theirs), Jim gives us three questions. Here are those questions with a couple of supporting quotes.
Question #1—What is your passion?
“The easiest question is the first one I always ask and sounds something like this: What are you passionate about? What thrills you when you get to do it? What makes your heart come alive when you see it? What do you love to do when you’re done doing what you have to do? If all jobs paid the same and you couldn’t fail, what would you do starting tomorrow?”
“Paul said he was ‘compelled’ to preach the gospel and that it was a ‘pleasure’ to do so. His passion for the God of the lost and the lost themselves caused him to travel the world. Everywhere he went, he saw revival or a riot, or at times, both in the same day. Then he’d be mistaken for a Greek god, stoned and left for dead or at times beaten, imprisoned, and slated for execution. And then the next day, he got up and did it all over again. That’s not fear of failure! That’s a God-given passion to tell people the good news of Jesus Christ!”
Question #2—What is your pain?
“What bothers you? What is it you see in the world that you would change? What breaks your heart? What do you find yourself praying about more than any other thing? What subjects do people no longer want to talk to you about because you’re always talking about those things?”
“The way I figure it, if it was bothering me the way it was, I was probably the one God wanted to do something about it. You see, I’ve learned that if I do something about what bothers me, and you do something about what bothers you, and the folks around here all do something about what bothers them, well, eventually there may come a day when there won’t be anything left to bother anyone.”
Question #3—What is your proficiency?
“What are you good at? What comes naturally to you? What did you pick up quickly and easily compared to others around you? What do you do with little effort that takes others much effort?”
Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.
Before you recruit someone to fill that next opening in your organization, I’ve got a resource that you should definitely check out. The resource I am referring to comes from the book Recruiting to Releasing by Jim Wiegand. I had a chance to sit down with Jim to talk about this eye-opening book.
Purchase your copy of Recruiting to Releasing on Amazon here, or on Apple Books here.
If you would like to check out when Jim interviewed me about my book When Sheep Bite, check out that video here.
Craig T. Owens 