We’re Under Attack!

July 22, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

As Betsy and I pray together for our family and friends, we’ve noticed a disturbing trend in our prayer time. Our prayer list is filling up with dear friends whose marriages are under attack…

  • Overwhelming financial pressures
  • Legal concerns
  • Drug problems
  • Questions about the future
  • Feelings of a loss of connection

These problems pile up and cause tremendous strain on marriages. It’s not surprising that marriages are under attack. Since the intimacy between husband and wife is the relationship God repeatedly uses to show the relationship He wants to have with humanity, it’s understandable why the enemy would attack marriages. If marriage is seen as unfulfilling, an intimate relationship with God seems undesirable.

The definition of strategy boils down to the big picture plan that’s put into place before the battle begins. Make no mistake about it, even if your marriage seems carefree now, it will be under attack in the future. Here are a few thoughts on forming a pre-battle strategy.

1.  Spend lots of time together. In the military platoons eat together, hike together, sleep together, practice together. They are getting to know both their craft and their team. Your spouse should be your best friend, not just your roommate. And you get to best-friend status by spending lots of time together.

  • Eat at least one meal together everyday … at the table, without the TV on.
  • Go for a walk … hold hands.
  • If you enjoy exercise, sweat together … then shower together.
  • Plan regular date nights … no kids, just the two of you.
  • Occasionally getaway for a romantic weekend.

2.  Continue to flirt with each other. You did a lot of special things for each other while you dating. So keep on letting your spouse know how special he/she is to you.

  • Send an e-card to his/her work email address.
  • Buy him his favorite candy bar and tape it to a note telling him how sweet he is.
  • Send her a flirty text message while she’s out with friends.
  • Come home with flowers.
  • Whisper sweet-nothings in each other’s ear.

3.  Pray together. There is no more intimate thing you can do than keep God a part of your marriage. After all, He is the One who said, “Let husband and wife be one flesh.” He is for your marriage—He wants it to be successful and fulfilling.

  • Pick a regular time to pray together every day.
  • Pray when you feel pressures beginning to press on you.

4.  Develop a support team. Don’t wait until the assault on your marriage is bearing down on you before you seek help. Put things in place now.

  • Read a book together about healthy marriages. (Tomorrow I will post a list of good marriage-building books.)
  • Hang out with other couples who have healthy marriages.
  • Go to church together.

Next to my relationship with Jesus (and because of my relationship with Jesus), my relationship with Betsy is the most fulfilling relationship I have. She is my best friend. The attacks have come against us too, but having a strategy in place ahead of time has been invaluable.

It’s never too late—or too early—to form a strategy for a successful, fulfilling marriage. When you repel the assault on your marriage, you will find an even greater appreciation for and intimacy with your spouse. A good marriage is so worth the effort!

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Very Punny

July 21, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Laughter is good medicine.

It’s been called “inner jogging.”

It’s been shown to boost your immune system.

It’s an immediate mood lifter.

And we don’t get enough of it.

Studies say that on average, an adult laughs 15 times a day; a child laughs 400 times a day. No wonder kids have a better outlook on life than most adults!

I like humor that makes you think as well as tickles your funny bone. The dictionary defines a pun as “the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications, or the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning; a play on words.”

Here are a few puns to make you giggle. I’d love to laugh at some of yours too, so please share them in the comments.

  • A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
  • Dijon vu—the same mustard as before.
  • Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  • Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
  • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  • Don’t let worries get the best of you, remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
  • Forbidden fruits create many jams.
  • Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
  • When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
  • A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
  • What’s the definition of a will? (Come on, it’s a dead giveaway!)
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
  • Many church members who sing “Standing on the Promises” are really sitting on the premises.
  • You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
  • He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
  • Every calendar’s days are numbered.
  • A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
  • A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
  • Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
  • When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
  • Acupuncture is a jab well done.
  • If you want a better life, altar it.

Go ahead, laugh! As the Norwegian Proverb says, “He who laughs—lasts.”

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New Chapter

July 20, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

When I was a kid I used to love to read Hardy Boys books. Sometimes I’d pick one up first thing in the morning, and have it read before I went to sleep that night. Many times I would say to myself, “Okay, I’m only going to read this one more chapter, then I’m taking a break.” But every chapter ended so thrillingly that I just had to continue reading the next chapter.

Life is a lot like that. One chapter finishes, but there is no break—no pause—it’s just right on to the next chapter. When Jesus said that He wanted us to have abundant life, that means that each chapter is better than the last.

Last night Betsy and I turned a new chapter in our lives. I am excited to be the new pastor of Calvary Assembly of God in Cedar Springs, Michigan! This congregation is something special: they are totally in love with Jesus and it’s obvious that they want others to know about this same relationship. I am so thrilled to be able to partner with them in changing the world.

But as with all new chapters, there is something bittersweet about leaving the old chapter. So many friends that we have made on the east side of the state, so many memories, so many testimonies of what God has done. It’s a little sad to leave some of those things behind.

But now, it’s upward and onward. On to the next chapter in which the excitement and passion and adventure will be even greater!

Will you please pray with us. We have some pressing needs to take care of in the next 6-8 weeks, and we would love you to join with us in prayer—

  • We need to sell our house right away so we can move to West Michigan.
  • We want to find a home in Cedar Springs and get our kids registered for school.
  • Betsy is looking for a teaching job near Cedar Springs.

Thanks for your prayers. We sure do need them as we continue this adventure God has for us by turning to the new chapter in our lives.

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My Injured Thumb

July 17, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

I sliced my thumb open yesterday. Okay, maybe “sliced” is a little too dramatic. But I did cut my thumb, and it did bleed. True, it didn’t gush blood—more like oozed blood—but blood was escaping my body. It was a small cut; perhaps a ¼-inch long.

I pressed a tissue on it until it stopped bleeding. I washed my thumb thoroughly with antibacterial soap and water. I applied some Neosporin ointment. And I wrapped the injury in a fresh Band-aid.

All of this care and concern for a small cut on my thumb.

Do you realize how much one uses their thumb in the course of a day?

  • Trying to rinse dishes in the sink I couldn’t hold the plate or the dish scrubber without my thumb being involved
  • My thumb was involved when I turned the doorknob of the front door
  • When I was opening a package of fruit snacks for my son, my thumb was needed for either the holding or the ripping
  • Ditto when I attempted to open the lid of the 2-liter bottle

That small cut on the thumb on my non-dominant hand was affecting my entire day. One little cut and my entire body was adversely affected!

A friend called me the other day. His heart was ripped open. Okay, maybe “ripped” is a little too dramatic. But he was emotionally damaged. True, he didn’t need a trip to the emergency room and he probably won’t have to start taking anti-depressants, but emotional “blood” was escaping his heart.

He called me, and I responded. One little wound in my friend’s heart and I was affected! Do you realize how much one’s emotions are involved in the course of a day?

Dr. Paul Brand was a renowned hand surgeon and missionary who worked with leprosy patients in India for years. He learned that leprosy doesn’t mangle a person’s foot or hand, but their lack of ability to feel pain does. They don’t feel the cut on their pinky toe or left thumb, and so they never attend to it. The injury becomes infected, and still no pain registers to tell them to take care of it. Eventually serious, irreversible damage is done.

Listen to what Dr. Brand wrote in his book In His Image—

“A body only possesses unity to the degree that it possess pain…. We must develop a lower threshold of pain by listening, truly listening, to those who suffer. The word compassion itself comes from Latin words cum and pati; together meaning ‘to suffer with.’ … The body protects poorly what it does not feel.”

“Management of pain requires a delicate balance between proper sensitivity, to determine its cause and mobilize a response, and enough inner strength to keep the pain from dominating the whole person. For the Body of Christ, the balance is every bit as delicate and as imperative.”

We must develop a lower threshold of pain by listening, truly listening. … The body protects poorly what it does not feel. Are you listening, truly listening to those who are hurting around you today? You are connected to them. If one person hurts, we all hurt.

Truly listen. If they are hurting, it does affect you … and me. Let’s find them, bandage them, apply ointment to their wounds, and protect them from further injury. Let’s feel their pain so we can protect them from further pain.

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Priceless Freedom

July 16, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Turn it up!

I had a blast last night with a bunch of students at Calvary Assembly of God who are excited about Jesus. They are free, and they are hungry for more of God in their lives. It was awesome!

Jesus said, “My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10 NLT). And He said, “If the Son gives you freedom, you are free!” (John 8:35 CEV).

Last night we looked at Paul’s instruction to Timothy where he reminded Timothy not to let anyone look down on him. If you dig a little deeper into the meaning of these words, it’s clear that you and I teach others how to treat us. In other words, Timothy was already devaluing himself, so others assumed that’s how they should treat him too.

Paul said, “Timothy, you are valuable. So hold your head up high and set an example worth imitating for everyone around you.”

God loves you so much that He created a cosmos to display His majesty, He gave you a conscience to prod you to look for Him, and He sent His one and only Son to earth to pay the price for so you could be in a personal relationship with Him.

You are of immense value to God. God bought you with a high price. And if you accept that incredible gift of Jesus, you are free to live… to REALLY LIVE!

When we closed the service last night, the students began to worship God, and they didn’t want to leave! They lifted their hands in freedom, they sang in freedom, they loved God in total freedom because they recognized their value in Him. And today I believe they are going to be living in that priceless freedom.

What about you? Are you living free today? Accept the gift Jesus already paid for your life and you can live free!

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Full Tank

July 15, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

The other day a friend of mine wrote on Facebook that he was shopping with his daughter. He half-jokingly added, “I think that is her love language!” I say half-jokingly because I think the time with Daddy was speaking volumes to his daughter.

Spending time shopping with Dad was filling her love tank!

Have you ever felt like one of your relationships was in a rut? Or maybe even in a rut with ends in it (also known as a grave!)? Do you ever feel like the other person just doesn’t get you? Have you ever been frustrated that the other person doesn’t understand all that you are doing for him/her?

My guess is that you are speaking different love languages.

Dr. Gary Chapman wrote an amazing book called The Five Love Languages. In his book, he lays out five “languages” that we use to communicate our love to one another:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch

When you and I communicate, we naturally communicate in a way that is most comfortable to us. We communicate in our primary love language. But if the other person in the relationship has a different love language, no matter how much you love them, you are simply not getting through effectively. You are leaving the other person with a near-empty love tank.

I would suggest you start by taking a brief love language assessment (download the free PDF here → 5 Love Languages assessment) to determine YOUR OWN love language first. This is the language you will feel most comfortable using. Second, you need to learn the love languages of OTHERS CLOSE TO YOU so you can change your love dialect.

In the great love chapter in the Bible, the apostle Paul says this, “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things” (v. 11, New Living Translation). Our love—and the way we express it to others—should always be growing up. If you are trying to communicate your love to someone special in the same ways (the same “languages”) you’ve always used, there’s a good chance your love is being viewed as childish.

As you mature in your expressions of love — as you speak the other person’s love language — you will begin to fill their love tank. Guess what happens next? Out of a full love tank, the other person is motivated to begin to speak your love language, to fill your tank. It can become so much fun to love with a full tank! Because when the other person’s love tank is full, almost any love language will work for them—wow, what a blast!

For married couples, YouVersion has an excellent reading plan that teaches specifically how the love languages operate in the context of your marriage.

UPDATE… my friend Greg Heeres and I host a leadership podcast on YouTube. Recently, we discussed the value of leaders learning and speaking the love languages of their teammates.

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Feeding Jesus

July 14, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Even before reading The Hole In Our Gospel, this thought has been haunting me: Am I doing all that I can to help the last and the least?

  • Am I speaking up for the one with no voice?
  • Am I looking out for the one who’s been ignored?
  • Am I feeding the physically hungry?
  • Am I feeding the spiritually hungry?
  • Am I representing the cause of the marginalized and ignored?
  • Am I doing this everywhere I can?

Jesus made it quite clear: after my brief life here is over, He’s going to say one of two things to me. Either I took care of the least and the last, or I didn’t. There’s no middle ground. The conversation either sounds like this…

“I was hungry and you fed Me,
I was thirsty and you gave Me a drink,
I was homeless and you gave Me a room,
I was shivering and you gave Me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to Me,” Jesus will say.

“Master,” I will answer, “what are You talking about? When did I ever see You hungry and feed You, thirsty and give You a drink? And when did I ever see You sick or in prison and come to You?”

“Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was Me—you did it to Me.”

Or like this…

“I was hungry and you gave Me no meal,
I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink,
I was homeless and you gave Me no bed,
I was shivering and you gave Me no clothes,
Sick and in prison, and you never visited,” Jesus will say.

“Master,” I will answer, “what are You talking about? When did I ever see You hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn’t help?”

“Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was Me—you failed to do it to Me.” (My paraphrase of Matthew 25:31-46)

Mother Teresa said that in the faces of the poor whom she served she saw “Christ, in His most distressing disguise.” My prayer is that God will open my eyes. I need to see the poor, the marginalized, the hungry, and the suffering through their disguises. That’s Jesus who is poor, ignored, and suffering, and it’s up to me to do something about it.

“Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God.” —Bob Pierce, founder of World Vision

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The Hole In Our Gospel (book review)

July 13, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Hole In Our Gospel, The coverWhen I first heard the title of Richard Stearns’ book—The Hole In Our Gospel—a thought crept into my mind. When I read on the back cover the phrase “to walk with the poorest of the poor in our world,” I was convinced: I just knew this book was going to be a guilt trip.

I couldn’t have been more wrong!

“The idea behind The Hole In Our Gospel is quite simple. It’s basically the belief that being a Christian, or follower of Jesus Christ, requires much more than just having a personal and transforming relationship with God. It also entails a public and transforming relationship with the world,” writes Stearns as he introduces his book.

Using his life as a personal example, and presenting a stark but realistic picture of the suffering humanity in the world today, Stearns challenged me to look outside my own paradigm. I’ve seen the infomercials about sponsoring a child, and I keep abreast of the latest calamities in the world, but Stearns presents these sobering facts in a way that made me want to do something. Stearns quoted his friend Gary Gulbranson, “It’s not what you believe that counts; it’s what you believe enough to do.”

The other thing I wrongly assumed from the cover of this book was that the problems facing us were so huge, that even if I got involved little would change. Instead, Stearns showed me practical ways to help.

Far from being a “downer” or a guilt-trip, I found this book to paint an exciting picture of what was possible if I would just get involved. I could begin to imagine a world in which humanity was better off because I was in it.

Don’t shy away from this book just because it’s written by the president of World Vision: you will not read a single “commercial” or appeal to donate to World Vision or sponsor a child. But you will be changed. You will be challenged. On the closing page, Stearns asks a poignant question: “And when you close this book, what will you do now?”

I’m going to get involved.

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Tell Your Story

July 13, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

People often ask me why I read so much, or even why I read the things I read. I like to read widely: classics to contemporary, history to biographies, and even a little poetry.

Tim Sanders wrote a book called Love Is The Killer App. In this wonderful book, he says that reading and studying should be motivated by love. We read and learn so that we can be informed enough to help others who are in need. Not reading just to read, but reading with a purpose. Reading to help tell someone a story. I haven’t found a book that does this better than the Bible.

The world’s greatest storyteller (ever!) was Jesus of Nazareth. Check this out:

With many stories like these, He presented His message to them, fitting the stories to their experience and maturity. He was never without a story when He spoke (Mark 4:33-34, The Message paraphrase).

Jesus could tell a story to anyone at any time. He learned, He studied, He observed, so He would always be ready. He frequently used whatever was at hand to tell His stories—a child, a farmer, fish, bread made with yeast, a coin, a bridal party—but He had to know something about each of those things in order for His stories to be effective for each person’s “experience and maturity.”

Once Jesus encountered a man so demonized that he spent his life naked and living in the graveyard (my friend Jim Wiegand calls him “the naked, cat-eating guy”!). Jesus set this man free from his demons. When this newly-freed man wanted to accompany Jesus, He told him, “Go home to your own people. Tell them your story” (Mark 5:19, The Message).

Tell them YOUR story.

The best story you can tell is your story.

It’s wonderful to read to be informed—I highly encourage this. I love to be able to say, “Benjamin Franklin said…” or “I love the Longfellow poem about…” or “Stephen Covey wrote that we should….” But it’s so much more effective to say, “Here’s what I have learned from my personal encounter with Jesus. Here’s MY story of what Jesus did for me!”

What about you? Do you have a story to tell? If you’re in a relationship with Jesus, you always have a story to tell. Keep walking with Jesus. Keep reading His love letter to you written on every page of the Bible. Then tell YOUR story—the best story of all!

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Lifter Or Leaner

July 10, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

It’s a pretty simple question:

…but it requires some serious in-the-mirror introspection to answer.

Honestly:

…when times are tough,

…when it’s inconvenient for you,

…when it’s out of your comfort zone,

…when you’ve had a hard day yourself,

…can others count on you to come through?

It really boils down to this:

…are you a lifter or a leaner?

“There are two kinds of people on earth today;
Just two kinds of people, no more, I say.
 
Not the sinner and saint, for it’s well understood
That the good are half-bad and the bad half-good.
 
Not the rich and the poor, for to rate a man’s wealth,
You must first know the state of his conscience and health.
 
Not the humble and the proud, for in life’s little span,
Who puts on vain airs, is not counted a man.
 
Not the happy and sad, for the swift flying years
Bring each man his laughter and each man his tears.
 
No; the two kinds of people on earth I mean,
Are the people who lift and the people who lean.
 
Wherever you go, you will find the earth’s masses,
Are always divided in just these two classes.
 
And oddly enough, you will find too, I ween,
There’s only one lifter to twenty who lean.
 
In which class are you? Are you easing the load,
Of overtaxed lifters, who toil down the road?
Or are you a leaner, who lets others share
Your portion of labor, and worry and care?”
—Ella Wheeler Wilcox, Which Are You? 
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